Help My ex-colleague's found religion!

[rynnor]

Only found out today that a guy I used to work with has now found jesus - hes on the Alpha course (Home | Alpha UK )

The sad thing is that on his blog he talks about his long fight with various addictions and depression and how he has considered suicide.

He did have some therapy and was on medication at one point but I dont know if hes still taking it.

Its such a shame - he's a really nice guy, I'm tempted to get back in touch with him but what would I say?

 

[Scouse]

"Mate, I know you're searching for something that will help you face the horrors of day to day life, but is retreat from the real world and the basing of your actions on a belief system that absolves you from responsibility and distances you from reality really the way you want to go?"

 

[Trem]

I agree with what Scouse said totally but surely Jebus is better than needles.

They both brainwash you but one will kill you quicker than the other. Maybe he feels he needs something to obsess over and if he chooses Jebus then so be it I guess.

 

[Mey]

I don't understand how the "found religion" plays a role in this?

Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

 

[rynnor]

I agree with what Scouse said totally but surely Jebus is better than needles.

They both brainwash you but one will kill you quicker than the other. Maybe he feels he needs something to obsess over and if he chooses Jebus then so be it I guess.

I agree that its better than addiction but it seems to me its a last roll of the dice - if this doesnt work out for him whats left?

 

[rynnor]

I don't understand how the "found religion" plays a role in this?

Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

I'd say its a symptom tbh.

 

[Trem]

I agree that its better than addiction but it seems to me its a last roll of the dice - if this doesnt work out for him whats left?

If this doesn't work for him then he knows there is no god so hopefully he will stay off the bad shit realising there is no after life, there is only worms or dust.

Mate, its his life, "you can't save 'em all" as my dad used to say.

 

[Scouse]

I'd say its a symptom tbh.

Agree with you there. Drugs take the pain away, religion allows you to believe that all the bad things that happen to you are all part of God's plan rather than the result of either coincidence or your own ineptitude, whilst giving the illusion that there's some sort of "order"...

 

[DaGaffer]

I think I'd prefer the chemical crutch to the metaphysical one.

I wouldn't know what to say to the guy that wouldn't sound like taking the piss; I'm not very good at dealing with the botherers-of-jeebus politely.

(I've recently been politely banned from referring to God as "Sky Fairy" around my 9-year old niece; my sister-in-law is worried she'll repeat it back to the priest at her communion. I said that was the point , especially as she was only going to church now because her parents want to get her into a good catholic school...)

 

[ECA]

If this doesn't work for him then he knows there is no god so hopefully he will stay off the bad shit realising there is no after life, there is only worms or dust.

Mate, its his life, "you can't save 'em all" as my dad used to say.

Sounds like Jesus is saving this one anyway

 

[rynnor]

Sounds like Jesus is saving this one anyway

Effectively its another form of therapy - its group lead - you meet people in similar circumstances and your all desperate to find the path to a happier life.

I imagine its effectiveness is determined by the skill/charisma of the group leader and how well the people in the group gel together - the same as any other group therapy such as Alcoholics Anonymous's program.

I hope it works.

 

[Damini]

In my experience, only two types of people "find" religion (the word find seems odd... most actively seek it out, or people seek them out to convert them) later on in life. Those that are truly lost, and those that think they are damned. Either way, if it's what he needs, and nobody is taking advantage of him, then I guess just let it help him, life raft, crutch, whatever it may be. Get in touch, and just say hello? Sounds like he could do with a friend.

 

[rynnor]

In my experience, only two types of people "find" religion (the word find seems odd... most actively seek it out, or people seek them out to convert them) later on in life. Those that are truly lost, and those that think they are damned. Either way, if it's what he needs, and nobody is taking advantage of him, then I guess just let it help him, life raft, crutch, whatever it may be. Get in touch, and just say hello? Sounds like he could do with a friend.

Wise words - the tricky bit is the initial approach to someone you havent spoken to in several years but I shall keep it simple and send him an email.

 

[nath]

If he's still on medication and actually needs it, I sincerely hope they don't do the old "you don't need that, all you need is the love of the lord" bullshit. In fact that doesn't seem to be restricted to religious folk, I've known of a lot of people who believe that all mental ailments can be dealt with strength of character. My brothers friends have often told him that he could probably deal with his bi-polar disorder himself and gradually come off the meds.

Armchair psychiatrists need to be shot.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, if it makes him happy and helps him get along, what's the problem?

A: There's no heaven, his belief is "wasted", but helps him. No harm.
B: There is heaven, he gets in, happy times. No harm.

If he becomes a zealot and starts purifying the neighborhood in the name of god, then raise the point that it might not be for him, but until then, let him have his belief.

I've heard of people who found jebus and stopped drinking, using drugs, started to work in volunteering programs to help people etc...yes...it's a real shame about that religion malarky, those people aren't out there drinking and shooting heroin up their bum.

 

[throdgrain]

It's none of your business if he's become religeous. If he beleives in it what gives you the right to say he's wrong?

 

[rynnor]

It's none of your business if he's become religeous. If he beleives in it what gives you the right to say he's wrong?

I'm not judging his belief but if you had a friend who looked to be undergoing a personal crisis wouldnt you want to help them?

I could post bits of his blog but it wouldnt be right - basically he's terribly confused at the moment and I'm worried about his state of mind.

 

[Scouse]

yes...it's a real shame about that religion malarky, those people aren't out there drinking and shooting heroin up their bum.

No, they're just reading fuckloads of porn whilst hypocritically castigating others for it instead.

(SFW btw, it's only a New Scientist article)

Either way, if it's what he needs, and nobody is taking advantage ...

That's the crux of this one. It looks, shall I say, rather well funded...

 

[Scouse]

It's none of your business if he's become religeous. If he beleives in it what gives you the right to say he's wrong?

Freedom of Speech Throddy. People shouldn't castigate him for it but pointing out that, in their own opinion, he may be making a mistake... is that so bad?

Anyway Rynnor, just ring him up and ask him over for a cuppa. Just being there helps.

 

[old.Tohtori]

No, they're just reading fuckloads of porn whilst hypocritically castigating others for it instead.

(SFW btw, it's only a New Scientist article)

Oh don't you bring those americans into this

 

[Chilly]

If he's happier with jesus and the depression is gone or far reduced, then it sounds like one of the only redeeming features of religion (social cohesion and a sense of belonging) is doing it's job. Leave him the fuck alone and consider your own stupid theories imho.

 

[Scouse]

I'd say yep, provided they're not taking money off him.

 

[pez]

I'd say, 'Good for you mate. I'm glad you've found religion and are sorting yourself out. Any time you want a pint give me a bell, would be good to catch up.'

 

[Scouse]

I'd say, 'Good for you mate. I'm glad you've found religion and are sorting yourself out. Any time you want a pint give me a bell, would be good to catch up.'

Yeah, but it wouldn't would it. Sitting in the pub supping lemonade and talking about the "Sky Fairy"

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yeah, but it wouldn't would it. Sitting in the pub supping lemonade and talking about the "Sky Fairy"

'cause ofcourse all religious people are also zealotty anti-everything? No wait...that's atheists

 

[Scouse]

'cause ofcourse all religious people are also zealotty anti-everything? No wait...that's atheists

"So mate, how's things? What've you been doing with your life?"

"Well, I found religion..."

"Smashing. Erm...."

 

[pez]

Is that how every conversation goes with you?

Hows it going?

Well, I still haven't found religion.

K...

 

[Yoni]

I am from a very religious background and I am an ex addict and can find myself addicted to lots of various things. On occasion I go to church, it gives me the quietness in my head I need to sort out things which are bothering me.

Personally I prefer the option of chatting stuff over with Jesus and asking him for strength than taking a line or two up my nose..

As long as he is not parting with shitloads of cash then please leave him to his choices and really just be his friend. Remember good friendships are for the most part unconditional.

 

[Scouse]

Is that how every conversation goes with you?

Hows it going?

Well, I still haven't found religion.

K...

I don't think that's a sensible point, because conversation wouldn't end there

I'd be bored if I had to talk religion with someone. And lets face it, it's the "big new thing" in his life so you could hardly avoid it.

But, in the context of this chap, what Yoni says tbfh

 

[yaruar]

Yeah, but it wouldn't would it. Sitting in the pub supping lemonade and talking about the "Sky Fairy"

Lemonade? Most of the Christians i know could easily drink me under the table. Although i am a lightweight these days though.