News It pays to wank

Discussion in 'The Front Room' started by Lamp, Apr 2, 2012.

  1. Lamp

    Lamp I am a FH squatter

    So, if you're short of cash, you know what to do (if not, Google it)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Aoami

    Aoami I am a FH squatter

    Interesting. I wonder if there is a limit, because i could easily knock one out every hour and double my wage.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Wazzerphuk

    Wazzerphuk FH is my second home

    Still pointless until they revoke the law saying kids can rock up to you and go "hi I'm yours!" 20 years later.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  4. Lamp

    Lamp I am a FH squatter

    There are obviously limits. Otherwise no one would ever work (in the traditional sense).

    10 visits a day (say)...£350 a day, 5 days a week....thats £1750 a week. Weekends off to stick the old badger in an ice bath and eat vast quantities of oranges & Vit C supplements.
     
  5. DaGaffer

    DaGaffer Down With That Sorta Thing

    So long as its more than 18 years later, who cares?
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. rynnor

    rynnor Rockhound Moderator

    Isnt it Zinc that it depletes?
     
  7. Lamp

    Lamp I am a FH squatter

    No idea. I've always found 5 or 6 oranges or satsumas revitalises me back into a heavy repeater.

    (I think there's zinc in oranges, not sure....perhaps one of the house resident internet worms can confirm)
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  8. Wazzerphuk

    Wazzerphuk FH is my second home

    The person who gave away their sperm not wanting to know the associated offspring?
     
  9. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    heh, i'd never donate sperm tbh :p the thought of some random turning up 16-20 years later looking for his/her real daddy makes me weep inside abit.
     
  10. Lamp

    Lamp I am a FH squatter

    Always keep a jar of nabbings by your front door. If they turn up, throw it over them "Here's your brothers & sisters too. Now feck off"
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. Edmond

    Edmond Is now wearing thermals.....Brrrrr Moderator

    When i think of the money i have let slip through my fingers over the years.....
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  12. Calaen

    Calaen I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!

    Zinc is the winner for sperm, taking zinc regular is great for the skin, and it also increases the amount of sperm produced and it's quality! Folic acid also increases sperm amount!
     
  13. Job

    Job The Carl Pilkington of Freddyshouse

    Funniest reply this year.
     
  14. Edmond

    Edmond Is now wearing thermals.....Brrrrr Moderator

    Thanks, i'm here all week....try the veal
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Gwadien

    Gwadien Uneducated Northern Cretin

    Then you can say ah, yes, I remember you, Spartacus, Series 2, Episode 3 I think, man, those tits were good.
     
  16. cHodAX

    cHodAX I am a FH squatter

    Killer pair of tits in episode 1 of Magic City as well! :D
     
  17. TheDoon

    TheDoon One of Freddy's beloved

    This real? or a late April fools?

    Hope it's real :)
     
  18. old.Tohtori

    old.Tohtori FH is my second home

    So now i could get PAID for spreading my genes acros the world?

    You hear that boys? We're getting a new deathray this week!
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. Scouse

    Scouse HERO! FH Subscriber

    ?? :confused:
     
  20. pez

    pez Can't get enough of FH

    Unfortunately they will only let you donate x amount because of the tiny probability that two of your doner kids hook up.
     
  21. Jeros

    Jeros Part of the furniture

  22. Lamp

    Lamp I am a FH squatter

    see Jeros post
     
  23. Scouse

    Scouse HERO! FH Subscriber

    I understand what you mean - I'd just never heard the term before.
     
  24. Moriath

    Moriath I am a FH squatter

    try different collection banks hehe
    rotate as you go :p
     
  25. cHodAX

    cHodAX I am a FH squatter

    One ball per clinic?
     
  26. opticle

    opticle Part of the furniture

    Fairly sure you're not supposed to donate if you've recently spaffed within the last X hours - due to reduced sperm count etc.

    Still, difficult for them to control for that and awesome :D
     
  27. TdC

    TdC Trem's hunky sex love muffin Staff member Moderator

    it's....it's not so good, Al :(
     
  28. cHodAX

    cHodAX I am a FH squatter

    Are they opening up under the name 'Splashconvertors'?
     
  29. Wazzerphuk

    Wazzerphuk FH is my second home

    Cash4Jizz

    "Simply jizz in the envelope provided, send it right to us and Wij will use his mouth to suck all the sperm out of the envelope, lather it onto a baster and shove it right up in a waiting mother."
     
  30. BloodOmen

    BloodOmen I am a FH squatter

    Lol jizz in an envelope, reminds me of that old Lee Evans joke

    "I'm sick of this bloody junk mail, I should just shit in an envelope and send it to them... you send me some of your shit I'll send you some of mine"
     

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