If you know there's no future= break-up?

[old.Tohtori]

Been "dating", it's not evne dating, seeing, meeting, whatever this one girl and it's fun enough. Don't feel anything special, but that's how it goes usually, you grow on to someone etc.

But, i know she wants married along the line and kids, i don't want to get married and want to adopt. Many know this.

Should a relationship, that's not evne a relationship, be nipped before it even gets anywhere near serious or "relationship"'y, or would it be prudent to go along and have fun for a while and then drop it before it gets serious?

Kinda looking for peoples thoughts more then advice, i'm gonna do what i do ofcourse :lol:

 

[Blackjack]

Do the girl a favour, and don't date her

 

[Bahumat]

Decide, then speak to her about it. Her "viewpoint" may not be as strong as you think. However I found it strange you'd rather adopt than have children of your own. No need for you to explain that part buddy.

I would say end it now if her viewpoint is strong. Saves feelings developing thus you both getting really hurt.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Do the girl a favour, and don't date her

Oh f*ck off


Yeah Bahu, that's what i'm planning, just throw in my two cents about marriage and kids(it's because i feel there's enough kids without homes out there already to bring new ones) and then see where she stands.

 

[soze]

I'm in a situation where i know there is no long term future with my GF she does not want to get married and have kids i do, not right now but eventually. So i think to myself should i break this up now and try to find someone i can have a future with? I always end up thinking this something is better than nothing. So i suppose my plan would be to end things around then i want to move in with a significant other if she still does not want it. Go along with it IMO just let her know yours not interested in kids / marriage up front.

 

[Uara]

its always best to speak to the other person involved, try and see what she thinks on the matter. Because if your not feeling anything special, then quite possibly she isnt either. But if at the moment its just a bit of fun, then I would go along with it, nothing wrong with having fun!

 

[Sparx]

i was seeing a girl for awhile and it was great fun, only casual sex and dates. After 4 months she really grew on me even tho i didnt think it would at first as i didnt massively like her in that way.

She ended it a few weeks ago when she came back from Ibiza and tbh it proper cut me up, i got so used to seeing her nearly everyday that i got quite attached

So my advice to you would be to probably end it before you or her get overly attached when you dont want to

 

[pikeh]

If it was me I'd tell her where I stand. If it really is just a 'bit of fun' then you can let it continue like that until either of you get bored. If she was hoping for more, then at least you know and it saves you and her a lot more trouble further down the road.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Decide, then speak to her about it. Her "viewpoint" may not be as strong as you think. However I found it strange you'd rather adopt than have children of your own. No need for you to explain that part buddy.

I would say end it now if her viewpoint is strong. Saves feelings developing thus you both getting really hurt.

/Agreed.

Relationships are all about compromise and working together. Talk with her, tell her how you feel, get her input and work it out together. Don't make such a decision on your own, you'll just end up making an arse of yourself.

 

[Aoami]

Is she deaf?

 

[Laddey]

wtf Tohtori, i thought you where gay?

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

the same things going on atm in home and away, matilda is going to uni so rick is splitting up with her so she can concentrate on her studies

 

[old.Tohtori]

/Agreed.

Relationships are all about compromise and working together. Talk with her, tell her how you feel, get her input and work it out together. Don't make such a decision on your own, you'll just end up making an arse of yourself.

Aye, relationships are, this is NOT a relationship

Met her a week ago or so, so it's nothing, not even puppystage yet. But there's been mention of "getting to know" by her, so, it's an indicator of "serious" talk.

Compromises are for the weak

wtf Tohtori, i thought you where gay?

Well i did mean to say "her" but couldn't be arsed to press shift :kissit:

 

[Sparx]

only a week? FS, bloke up and split her arse

Stop being such a woman

 

[Laddey]

only a week? FS, bloke up and split her arse

Stop being such a woman

Spread more but fucking lol!

 

[old.Tohtori]

only a week? FS, bloke up and split her arse

Stop being such a woman

That's the point. I don't care for "splitting arses", 'cause i know by this age that "splitting arse" means someone is getting wrong ideas.

That's why this thread kinda exists, to get feedback on should i jsut ditch it as i KNOW there's no future in the long run and i know my mind won't change.

And i doubt i'd want to be responsible for changing her mind about big issues like that.

 

[Sparx]

But its only been a week, settling down and having kids should be the very last thing on your minds at the moment

Meeting up and having dirty, sweaty sex should be the only thing you both should be thinking about

Maybe its just cause i am a deviant then

 

[Levin]

Through the whole thread this has been about her possibly changing her point of view to match yours. You should also examine your own views, and reconsider if you think you one day might change your mind - simply because this girl is special. My girlfriend didn't want kids for years, but i stuck with her and now she does want kids. These things change with the years.

If you two fit well together and keep growing on eachother.. then hold onto her and things will work themselves out.

 

[soze]

Just tell her your not looking for a relationship just casual fun she might say the same and you get yourself a fuck buddy. Or she breaks it off best get it out the way.

 

[old.Tohtori]

But its only been a week, settling down and having kids should be the very last thing on your minds at the moment

Meeting up and having dirty, sweaty sex should be the only thing you both should be thinking about

Maybe its just cause i am a deviant then

Aye, but i don't want to jsut f*ck someone on a pretense that "one day". That's why i'm setting it straight up, upfront, in advance that no, marriage and own kids is off the table.

Look at that, i got morals about f*cking smoeone :lol: Go figure.

Through the whole thread this has been about her possibly changing her point of view to match yours. You should also examine your own views, and reconsider if you think you one day might change your mind - simply because this girl is special. My girlfriend didn't want kids for years, but i stuck with her and now she does want kids. These things change with the years.

If you two fit well together and keep growing on eachother.. then hold onto her and things will work themselves out.

It's not about anyone changing views, it's aout keeping things up because of views. I know, as i explained someone...umm...can't remember...on another thread that i won't be changing my mind, no matter if milla jovovich wanted to get married and pop out small millas.

Things might change over the years, but i know my mind is set on these, due to learning myself in and out and what i want, but i don't want to stick with someone and try and change their views. They MIGHT change their views, but that would mean i've forced my way on others.

And that's something i won't do.

 

[Aoami]

Through the whole thread this has been about her possibly changing her point of view to match yours. You should also examine your own views, and reconsider if you think you one day might change your mind - simply because this girl is special. My girlfriend didn't want kids for years, but i stuck with her and now she does want kids. These things change with the years.

If you two fit well together and keep growing on eachother.. then hold onto her and things will work themselves out.

Oh god, don't bring up this old chesnut.

 

[Levin]

Oh god, don't bring up this old chesnut.

What old chestnut? I'm just saying that one should never expect the partner to change their mind unless you'd be willing to see a possibility of yourself changing as well.

Tohtori made it clear that he can't do that, so in that case I think he's probably doing the right thing, thinking of breaking it before it begins. More respect to him for not wanting to force his ways on someone.

 

[Aoami]

Levin, run and hide now.

 

[Uara]

I think Overdriven(could be wrong) had a rather heated discussion with Toht about this matter, it went on for a long time!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Nah, it wasn't OD...Calaen possibly.

Anyhoo, Levin got it straight out and knows what i meant, as per usual

 

[Belgerath]

Ask her perspective and if its different to yours go your seperate ways.

As you have already explained you have a plan and intend to stick to it so.

Ditch before she gets hurt

 

[Overdriven]

*Blink*

Nope, I've never argued about relationships and marriage with Toht, unless it involved "Why he wasn't letting me drink that night". Hmm.. A real responce. Well, you're actually like a few IRL friends, don't want kids and don't want to do the whole "I Do" thing. TBH, best idea is to speak to her about it when you feel that you can and think she'd be ready to not "leg it" out of the room on the first mention of it.

I'd really say wait, find somebody and then have a kid I want one eventually, eventually being about a decade.. Or millenia.

 

[Sparx]

To be honest any girl who brought anything this deep up within the first month would make me run a mile. And thats the same for every girl i know, met orhad relations with

 

[old.Tohtori]

To be honest any girl who brought anything this deep up within the first month would make me run a mile. And thats the same for every girl i know, met orhad relations with

Ah, funny thing, she didn't bring it up, it was overheard from a phone conversation :lol:

 

[ECA]

Just keep asking her to do progressively kinkier stuff in bed ( or out of bed ).

This way you get lots of filthy sex and at some point she'll break up with you instead.