If men could become pregnant.......

[Bym]

1. Morning sickness would rank as the nations number one health problem

2. They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.

3. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

4. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

5. All methods of birth control would become 100% effective.

6. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

7. There would be a cure for stretch marks.

8.. They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."

9. Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.

10. Men would still be men - with swollen bellies, that instead of carrying excess by-products of malt, hops and water in barrel-shape, would carry something useful; miniature people.

11. They would serve beer instead of coffee at antenatal classes.

12. Men wouldn't think twins were so cute.

13. Sons would have to come home from dates by 9 pm.

14. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.

15. There would be macho movies about childbirth. Clint Eastwood would clench his teeth, squint and say, "Make my day," while pushing.

 

[Munkey-]

and if women were human then depressional suicide rates would fall to almost 0 overnight

 

[throdgrain]

Women would have to go to work for a living.
Men would tend to stay at home longer, ensuring that after the first few years their lives were easier. This would change the avarage lifespan so that men would now live longer than women, instead of the other way around, on account of having done summat quite difficult very early on in thier lives, and resting on thier laurels ever after

 

[Jonaldo]

As long as I don't have to start waxing my legs and stuff


Now there ~IS~ pain!

 

[Xtro 2.0]

If people who were bored at home or work stopped distributing shit unfunny lists they might be less bored.

No offence Bym, my work mail box is spammed at the minute with novelty "amusing" vids, jokes and photos making me even more grumpy than normal. Oh and yarr every 2 mins doesn't help

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by throdgrain
Women would have to go to work for a living.
Men would tend to stay at home longer, ensuring that after the first few years their lives were easier. This would change the avarage lifespan so that men would now live longer than women, instead of the other way around, on account of having done summat quite difficult very early on in thier lives, and resting on thier laurels ever after

Indeed!!

 

[Jonaldo]

Originally posted by Xtro 2.0
Oh and yarr every 2 mins doesn't help

yaarrrrrr

 

[Bym]

Originally posted by throdgrain
Women would have to go to work for a living.

Fantastic. Bring on the house-husbands please.

Then we could go to work, generally fart about there and pretend to have a 'hard day', ogle and chat up other men and get away with it ('Don't get mad love, I'm just female, its natural!'), go to the pub after work every night and get hammered whilst eating bag after bag of pork scratchings, eat copious amounts of junk food, have sex on demand (fantastic!), have our meals made for us, a personal slave to clean the house/wash up/shop/wash clothes/iron, etc AND feed/wash/clean/entertain/look after the kids too, with no time off for good behaviour.

No wonder men don't live as long as women, they have all the fun. What a life

 

[Bym]

Originally posted by Xtro 2.0
If people who were bored at home or work stopped distributing shit unfunny lists they might be less bored.

No offence Bym, my work mail box is spammed at the minute with novelty "amusing" vids, jokes and photos making me even more grumpy than normal. Oh and yarr every 2 mins doesn't help

Don't read it then if you're a grumpy bugger.

Simple.

 

[Munkey-]

Originally posted by Bym
Then we could go to work, generally fart about there and pretend to have a 'hard day', ogle and chat up other men and get away with it ('Don't get mad love, I'm just female, its natural!'), go to the pub after work every night and get hammered whilst eating bag after bag of pork scratchings, eat copious amounts of junk food, have sex on demand (fantastic!), have our meals made for us, a personal slave to clean the house/wash up/shop/wash clothes/iron, etc AND feed/wash/clean/entertain/look after the kids too, with no time off for good behaviour.

Good god! i want to be female!

 

[Jonaldo]

Originally posted by Bym
Fantastic. Bring on the house-husbands please.

Then we could go to work, generally fart about there and pretend to have a 'hard day', ogle and chat up other men and get away with it ('Don't get mad love, I'm just female, its natural!'), go to the pub after work every night and get hammered whilst eating bag after bag of pork scratchings, eat copious amounts of junk food, have sex on demand (fantastic!), have our meals made for us, a personal slave to clean the house/wash up/shop/wash clothes/iron, etc AND feed/wash/clean/entertain/look after the kids too, with no time off for good behaviour.

No wonder men don't live as long as women, they have all the fun. What a life

I'm sorry but we're all 'new men' around here, so whilst we loafed around all day doing half the housework, you would still have to get back from work, finish your chores and then prepare your own meal as it's just plain sexist to expect dinner made for you every day

 

[Xtro 2.0]

Unfortunately I'm not a precognitive psychic so actually have to read something before I can judge its crap.

Funny world we live in.

 

[kameleon]

Originally posted by Bym
Fantastic. Bring on the house-husbands please.

Then we could go to work, generally fart about there and pretend to have a 'hard day', ogle and chat up other men and get away with it ('Don't get mad love, I'm just female, its natural!'), go to the pub after work every night and get hammered whilst eating bag after bag of pork scratchings, eat copious amounts of junk food, have sex on demand (fantastic!), have our meals made for us, a personal slave to clean the house/wash up/shop/wash clothes/iron, etc AND feed/wash/clean/entertain/look after the kids too, with no time off for good behaviour.

No wonder men don't live as long as women, they have all the fun. What a life

You need to get rid of your other half love.

Edit i noticed your location. Are we feeling dumpy and unloved?

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by Bym
have sex on demand (fantastic!)

I'm sorry...what??

I wish that were the case but its always the women who refuses first tbh...

 

[Bym]

Originally posted by kameleon

Edit i noticed your location. Are we feeling dumpy and unloved?

Ask me that in a few months when I look like I have a couple of basketballs shoved down my top (and probably have an ass/boobs to match) Can't wait. :scared:

 

[kameleon]

pregnant women are sexy*
































*obviously not while throwing up

 

[Xtro 2.0]

They are I agree.

Although I wouldn't copy my friend Dan who cruises supermarkets for young preggers women and has pulled a few...blergh.

 

[Bym]

Or as I'm finding, when you've got a bun in the oven, out come the weirdos:

prince_cooll: hii
prince_cooll: how ru
carrieb_uk: hi, not bad thanks, u?
prince_cooll: mmmm great
prince_cooll: now very happy
prince_cooll: <ding>
carrieb_uk: ?
prince_cooll: y b cuz i am chating sweet women i nevr seen b4
prince_cooll: lol
carrieb_uk: oh
prince_cooll: yes
prince_cooll: ur so sweet miss
carrieb_uk: oh, thank you
prince_cooll: yes
prince_cooll: be my friend?
carrieb_uk: er, if you're not a pervert
prince_cooll: sorry
prince_cooll: i'm not
prince_cooll: u have cam?
carrieb_uk: no!
*** prince_cooll has been ignored.

As if I didn't feel sick enough already

 

[Jonaldo]

a/s/l?

 

[mank]

It must be the pheromones.

 

[Summo]

Good luck, Bym!

 

[Munkey-]

Any details on the babba?

 

[FatBusinessman]

Originally posted by Jonaldo
a/s/l?

ffs stfu k pls thx.

tbpfh

 

[Bym]

Thanks - I'll need it!

Sex: dunno, silly gender prediction tests all say a boy, but I reckon its a girl because 'she' has got a very fast heart rate (highly strung, lol). Not going to find out at the scan, because father of child doesn't want to.

Due date: 1st April. Yes, April Fools Day. Will probably arrive on that day too. Typical

Meant to be a celebration today because I am 12 weeks gone now and the rate of miscarriage drops to 1-3%. Not going to celebrate because I'm not any less worried than I was before!

Caroline

 

[throdgrain]

Good luck to you

 

[Xtro 2.0]

Aye good luck.

If she looks like her mum she'll be a bobby dazzler.

If she looks like dad she'll be a dazzling bobby (or something).

 

[GDW]

Congrats. Hope all goes well for you

 

[Deadmanwalking]

If she looks like her dad then i would start asking some serious questions.

 

[Tom]

Yarr, if men could become pregnant:

1. Women wouldn't be needed anymore

2. We'd have our own boobies to feel

3. We wouldn't be dragged around Ikea every week

 

[GDW]

......and we'd still have to wank ourselves