Humane Way To Kill A Paralysed Mouse?

Discussion in 'The Front Room' started by Damini, May 3, 2006.

  1. Damini

    Damini Part of the furniture

    The title pretty much says it all, but for elaborations sake, I'll explain that this isn't just a new hobby I've decided to pick up, nor some random question like "which is bigger, a polar bear or a cow". I do in fact have a tupperware box full of paralysed mouse, crawling pitifully round in circles, dragging it's poor, useless, mouse legs behind him.

    My cat Ula, bless her merciless little furry paws, decided that there are several things more fun that simply killing a mouse. These include:

    NOT killing it.

    NOT killing it in my bedroom.

    NOT killing it, in my bedroom, at 5 o'clock in the morning.

    NOT killing it, in my bedroom, at 5 o'clock in the morning, in the middle of incredibly rustly plastic dustsheets.

    NOT killing it, in my bedroom, at five o'clock in the morning, in the middle of incredibly rustly plastic dustsheets, when both Kenny and I had been out to the pub the night before. And then leaving us with a tupperware box full of paralysed mouse.

    I feel really sorry for this mouse, but I don't think there's really a great disability scheme for Rodents of Limited Mobility, and that the kindest thing to do would probably kill it. Or build it bionic legs. Being of a wussy nature, I've not done either, and have instead just tried to feed it raisons, but it just twitches, and then drags it's legs some more.

    I thought about gassing it in the oven, but that would obviously involve letting lots of gas build up in the oven, which, as a daughter of a fireman, I know I shouldn't really do. Kenny suggested drowning it, as allegedly you feel euphoric before you die, but I don't like the idea of throwing the blighter into water in case you don't feel euphoric, you just feel like a paralysed mouse struggling to swim. Do you think the vets would kill him for me, or do you think they'd look at me like I was a twat?

  2. tris-

    tris- Failed Geordie and Parmothief

    i suppose the most painless way is to crush its brain somehow.
  3. Gray

    Gray FH is my second home

    You take said mouse outside, walk down the road a bit.

    Put it on the road, position it nicely where you see the skid marks from the tyres on the road. Stroke its head, and say a little prayer.

    Hold back tears and walk off.

    Come back an hour later to find it still there alive because you put it in the cycle lane by accident.

    Rinse, repeat!
  4. Calaen

    Calaen I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!

    Agree get a paving slab and drop it on the little fellow. Always makes me sad when I see little things struggling :-( omg i sound like a fooking Emo :p

    Seriously though it pains me.
  5. babs

    babs Can't get enough of FH

    I normally shirk the responsibility of desicion by waiting until cat x or y has said mouse in its mouth, and then whooping and hollering like a thing possessed until it bolts out through the cat-flap.

    What happens then is in gods paws... I mean hands.

    I actually have a "mouse shovel" near the back door. I've had so many dead mice left in the kitchen I simply load them on the shovel then fling them as far as I can into the field behind us. In thousands of years time archaeologists will be puzzled by the arc of rodent skeletons approx 30 ft from a primitive stone dwelling.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Jupitus

    Jupitus Old and short, no wonder I'm grumpy! Staff member Moderator FH Subscriber

    Shovel over head hard and fast - sounds mean, I guess, but the thing is suffering right now, and a short merciuful smack on the bonce is probably the 'best thing' :(
  7. DaGaffer

    DaGaffer Down With That Sorta Thing

    Shovel is the way to go; I remember when I was a kid and in the cubs, we were on a camping trip and we found a rabbit with Miximytosis; we all stood around like pussies (including the Akela) discussing what to do; up walks my (younger) brother, whack! with a shovel, game over. I found new respect for him that day...
  8. throdgrain

    throdgrain FH is my second home

    Put it in a sock, then swing the sock hard against a convinient hard object, for example, an out side wall.
    This works.
  9. tris-

    tris- Failed Geordie and Parmothief

    all the methods for easy death sound mean, except instant death is the most unmean way there is.
  10. Chilly

    Chilly Balls of steel

    I cant believe how evil and jaded I am, I wont even bother detailling the many and varied ways of killing mice I have pioneered. (You get used to it after the first few - we have a mouse problem at my place in oxford)
  11. old.Tohtori

    old.Tohtori FH is my second home

    If you were going to gas it, then just close the tupperware box.

    That'll do the trick.

    But it's rather cruel i guess :mad:

    If you spin the mouse by it's tail, it gets so dizzy it's near passed out, then you can do pretty much anything.
  12. `mongoose

    `mongoose One of Freddy's beloved

    I got verbally hammered by a bunch of bleeding heart friends a while back for telling them this story.

    Same thing happened to us and I went thru all the ways of killing it, and decided that a brutal but fast death was better to anything else.

    I hit it with a brick but obviously decided to make sure I did it in one shot and totally put too much power into it. I ended up splattering mouse all over me back step.

    I was gutted to kill it but there was no-way it was going to recover and I thought - I'd rather go quick than starve to death without being able to move.

    Other 'humane' suggestions included drowning it. I couldn't think of a more horrible way to go.

    So in conclusion - brick/slab/hammer/pan/shovel. Quick sharp blow to the head - whilst on sheets for easy removal of gore.

    Either way - best of luck with it.

  13. Will

    Will /bin/su Staff member Moderator

    Put a biro against the back of its head, and pull base of tail sharply. That'll break its neck humanely. If you only half manage it (not pulling sharply enough, or pen slips) you need to straight away spin it by the tail and hit its head off the nearest wall / table, or it will be suffering. Normally you won't need to do that with mice, but you sometimes do have to do it with rats if you get it wrong. You need to grip the head with rats, you can't use a pen.

    But I hope you've already done it, since I'm a few hours after the original post.
  14. SawTooTH

    SawTooTH Can't get enough of FH

    I think a hammer would be quicker.
  15. Will

    Will /bin/su Staff member Moderator

    After checking with someone...

  16. Damini

    Damini Part of the furniture

    The mouse is dead. I tried to get a man in a truck to run it over for me, but at the last minute I chickened out.

    Kenny drowned it, while I rather helpfully cried and refused to be in the same room. We just couldn't do the brick thing, and much as I would probably be kinder to snap its neck, it's really hard to do if you're even vaguely soppy.
  17. Bodhi

    Bodhi FH is my second home

    You got any fireworks left? Cos i'm pretty sure blowing it up would be a quick, painless and what's more deeply amusing way for it to go.
  18. dysfunction

    dysfunction FH is my second home

    Drowning isnt a great way to kill a mouse. You tortured the poor thing to death.
  19. Calaen

    Calaen I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!

    Go on Dys make poor Damini feel better than she already does :-( I could not have killed it either poor little thing.
  20. tris-

    tris- Failed Geordie and Parmothief

    so you ask for a humane way to kill a mouse, and you drown it?

    probably one of the least humane ways tbh
  21. Furr

    Furr Can't get enough of FH

    You could have put a pipe from your car exaust to a small box, like an ice cream box and carbon monoxided it to death.

    ah well the drowning was erm... well its dead init!
  22. Debaser

    Debaser One of Freddy's beloved

    It wouldn't be too heartless to tackle that polar bear question now, would it?
  23. Gray

    Gray FH is my second home

    Jesus, partially listening to my idea

    You crazy, crazy person o_0
  24. Dukat

    Dukat Resident Freddy

    Agree with what most people said in the first page of posts, if you gotta go, quick is the way, even if it is painfull - and there is evidence to suggest it might not be that bad - it wont last for long :)

    ah well, for better or worse, atleast hes in a better place now, or not, depending on weather you believe in that sort of thing....

    oh god im going to have the religion brigade after me now arent I? :D
  25. KevinUK

    KevinUK Can't get enough of FH

    Should we name it and place a post in Freddys Fallen section?

    If I were to be killed I wouldnt go with being drowned, probably the equivalent of a paving slab, crushed instantly but then its bad for the cleaner who just has a mop.
  26. WPKenny

    WPKenny Part of the furniture

    I've never had to kill anything that big before. Just wasps and stuff up till now.

    Neither Lou or I could find a paving slab to crush it with or a big rock and physically crushing the thing with our hands or feet was out of the question.

    I stuck it under the tap and turned it on. It swam for a few seconds till the water from the tap pushed it's head under. I felt awful doing it and I know it wasn't the most humane way to do it but the only other thing we could bring ourselves to do was to leave it outside and let nature take it's course.

    Hopefully Ula won't bring any more crippled mice into the house and we can simply bin the dead ones and release the live ones.
  27. Formash

    Formash Fledgling Freddie

    I have had this situation a few time in recent weeks with mice, dormice (dormouses?), starlings, chaffinch's and a crow (blimey?!).

    Normally the birds were dead before i knew about it and i came down in the morning to a stairwell full of feathers (crikey! didn't realise a starling had *THAT* many feathers), or the mouse lying with its inner bits showing to the world...

    In the case of the still alive, i had to bash the head against the edge of a wall, to break its neck. Quick and relatively painless, although its probably been in more pain whilst the cats were playing.

    The mice, i would give back to the cats, if they didn't kill it within 5 minutes, i just wrapped it in a food bag and some tissues, removed as much air as possible, then into the bin outside.

    Call me inhumane, but i didn't know what else to do at 3 in the morning most times ;)
  28. lilmissnaughty

    lilmissnaughty Fledgling Freddie

    u got a meat cleaver?
    off with its head:p
  29. moomin

    moomin Fledgling Freddie

    sell it to a kebab shop
  30. nath

    nath Fledgling Freddie

    Does your cat have a bell? She'll become far less successful with her hunting with one, worth a thought.

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