How to make Americans hate you - Send em this

[inqy]

sorry but this is an old one. I also saw an equally amusing response to this from the Yanks. Can't find it though as it graced my recycle bin, many years ago.

I'm sure someone could dig it up...

 

[kr0n]

Hmm... /me remembers the big wars with Russia 50 years ago...

Guess we aint enough arrogant and electing monkeys as president so we would get bombed... but anyways....

 

[old.0xygen]

At least finland can be proud in giving us the Leningrad Cowboys

 

[kr0n]

Yeh

 

[Damon_D]

quote:
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Originally posted by old.Lanceloc
Personally I think the whole western world is warped. Not just the Americans. We should all look to the Japanese for maturity, civility and productivity skills.

You never see a bunch of drunk Japanese blokes fighting and puking up on the streets.
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LOL japanese peopel dont have a bleeding life, they just work ( like 16-18 hours a day) and sleep, no way in hell I say. If I had a choise of living like that for the rest of my life , or to be put to death, the choise would be quit easy .. Thor get the mjød ready cause here I come. Its not because im lazy, but living in a small concret box, you pay'd like 5 gazillion for , and working like a mad man, sure sound like hell to me , or as close as you can come it being semi alive.

ps: this is not an attack on japanese peopel, they are actualy nice peopel, its just there way of life ( the modern one ) that stinks

 

[Lanceloc]

What I mean is that all the typical western man cares about is self-satisfaction (computer games, getting drunk, owning a faster car than your next door neighbour).

It just seems to me that we aren't serious about life, self-development and the happiness of other people and our own planet as much as we should be.

80% of the entire planet's money is owned by an elite 5% group (in the first world countries).

In other words, the world's economy, its monetary system and man's general motives are seriously flawed.

The way we are going, in 50 years time, there will be no resources left on Earth because we abuse our own home, planet Earth.

My message to you reading this is: try to love everyone and your planet unconditionally. Every now and again, do something small but generous like buy the local tramp a big bar of chocolate or drive your car at its most efficient speed

Edited: Grammar

 

[kr0n]

/me gives a flower and unconditional love to Lanceloc...

/me hears everyone yelling "DAMN HIPPIE!"

 

[Keri]

Noble sentiments Lanceloc, but it seems too many people are determined to hate Americans.

Originally posted by Olgark
What other country has a World series game in Baseball , Basketball where only one country is allowed to enter?

Oh yeh its the yanks they scared cause someone may beat them at their own game.

Olgark .. you really should check your facts. The World Series was won at least twice by the Toronto Blue Jays. When I woke up this morning, my city was still in Canada.

Basketball .. I guess you never heard of the Vancouver Grizzlies, or the Toronto Raptors .. both NBA teams?

 

[Lanceloc]

Americans are just as bad or good as the rest of us IMHO.

 

[Keri]

Originally posted by old.Lanceloc
Americans are just as bad or good as the rest of us IMHO.

Agreed.

I guess it's a question of Brits constantly slamming Amercians, while Americans don't even acknowledge the existance of Brits .. hehe.

BTW .. I'm dual nationality .. <waves my maroon European passport in one hand, the black Canadian one in the other>

 

[Spudgie]

hehe I posted a joke for a joke and look how serious everyones got. Lighten up for a change.

 

[elerand]

ROFLMFAO!!!!

Very funny, only one thing wrong I can see, now i may be incorrectly informed but the way the Americans pronounce "aluminum" if how everyone used to pronounce it, somewhere along the line it changed and the yanks still say it the old way...awwww bless

 

[elerand]

Originally posted by Keri
I wonder how you Brits would react if there was a similar anti-Brit post?

Bring one on!
Most of us have sufficiently removed our heads from our arses to see the funny side :-P

 

[elerand]

Originally posted by Bootae
lol

Soooooooooo true.. It's like that Alanis song about "Isn't it Ironic", yet every event described in it is bad luck and not ironic at all

I think the medical term is Irony deficiency...

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

Originally posted by kr0n
Guess we aint enough arrogant and electing monkeys as president so we would get bombed... but anyways....

Bush was not elected democratically. He lost the popular vote... the majority of people wanted Gore (whom I think would have made a great president).
The last elections reminded me of a third world country.

Where was the election decided? Florida.
Whose brother is governor of Florida? Bush's brother..
What does that tell us? That Bush isn't better than any other 3rd world country dictator..

I am not getting all worked about it... but I certainly don't like stereotyping a whole country.

Rant over
And I did laugh about the original post.

 

[Furr]

Bleugh*

 

[Lanceloc]

Apparently the US government is hiding free energy devices that can replace fossil fuels. Obviously for power reasons...

I say we should all go to London and make a cry and shout for the truth!!!!! Who is with me????

For more information and proof go to www.disclosureproject.com

 

[old.chesnor]

Originally posted by sickofit...


Bush was not elected democratically. He lost the popular vote... the majority of people wanted Gore

Of course he was elected 'democratically'. He won according to the rules of the US. The US doesn't have proportional representation, much like the UK and most other 'democratic' countries.

I found the original post amusing btw, I have seen it before and I chuckled then. Its a joke, it is not malicious and it should not be taken as such. The fact that it upsets some people just goes to show why someone took the time to write it in the first place. All comedy has its roots in taking the piss, after all.

 

[Olgark]

Originally posted by Keri
Noble sentiments Lanceloc, but it seems too many people are determined to hate Americans.



Olgark .. you really should check your facts. The World Series was won at least twice by the Toronto Blue Jays. When I woke up this morning, my city was still in Canada.

Basketball .. I guess you never heard of the Vancouver Grizzlies, or the Toronto Raptors .. both NBA teams?

ooo you mean Canada is a different country?
hehehe thought it was the same one (jk)

Ok I don't follow the american sports as they are in a word crap. So I take your word on it.
Just shows how much coverage of it I see here in the UK without Sky sports.

Hate the American noooo. I like them.
Hate the EU yeh.

 

[Aeiedil]

Originally posted by Keri
I wonder how you Brits would react if there was a similar anti-Brit post?

go for it

 

[old.Zhildrua]

Originally posted by old.FuROf knight
Bleugh*
Damn shame, i bet france was well pissed off that that bloke missed Chirac.

Idiot.
uke:

 

[danskmacabre]

For the record, here's the US reply...

Notice Of Revocation Of Independence - The Reply
To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always, we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. We hate to ruin your tea-party here, but the sun has, in fact, set on the British Empire! Cheerio!

However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.


To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:


Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the ORIGINAL spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman).
However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor.
Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.
Review your basic arithmetic. If you're going to make up an arbitrary statistic, use the same number consistently. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and, 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
You want English actors cast as good guys? How about Stephen Fry playing Oscar Wilde in "Wilde"? How about Rupert Everett in "The Next Best Thing"? Oh, you want English actors cast as STRAIGHT good guys!
Ahem. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front.
It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Britannia ditty. It's toe- tapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle In The Wind" yet again for you guys.
Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident.
Learn how to cook. For your own sake if nobody else's. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. If the French can figure it out, you should be able to.
You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing; it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies. Ground- based wiring? What the Fuck???
We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".
Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.

P.S. Regarding World War II: You're Welcome.

 

[old.Tohtori]

And as always...tha US is boring as hell, just having the uber need to take everything seriously and not even -try- to be funny.

Oh what a world...and no i don't mean the freaking Free World of mf USA..i mean the world..yes the whole blue round thing in space.

 

[Fafnir]

Wonder what the world would look like if we all educated our enemies in how to kill us, and give them the means to do so.

How gave the talibans their weapons, who gave Saddam all his biological weapons, hmmmm, the anthrax strain that was found in US. after the 11 september was a US developed strain that they sold to Saddam.

Free market for everyone.

 

[danskmacabre]

Originally posted by Fafnir
Wonder what the world would look like if we all educated our enemies in how to kill us, and give them the means to do so.

How gave the talibans their weapons, who gave Saddam all his biological weapons, hmmmm, the anthrax strain that was found in US. after the 11 september was a US developed strain that they sold to Saddam.

Free market for everyone.

I'm not trying to defend the US in any way, I just found the US reply on a google search.
Actually I'm not even American.
BUT,
The UK and other European countries are just as guilty as the US regarding selling weapons to what would be considered dangerous and unstable countries.

 

[inqy]

Originally posted by inqy
sorry but this is an old one. I also saw an equally amusing response to this from the Yanks. Can't find it though as it graced my recycle bin, many years ago.

I'm sure someone could dig it up...

Originally posted by danskmacabre
...I just found the US reply on a google search...

ta for that. This is the very one that you posted aye.

 

[Lanceloc]

So this is why JFK was assasinated!

http://www.hermes-press.com/criminality.htm

 

[Keri]

Thank you danskmacabre, I needed a good laugh today.

I think it's hilarious that so many of you found the original post so amusing, but find no humour in The Reply.

One thing I definitely agree with, Billy Elliot is by far the best movie I have ever seen. The whole movie hits very close to home for me.

 

[Farnis]

I laughed for about 30 minutes when a cab driver in Florida asked what language we spoke in England....When I replied French he nodded enthusiastically as if confirming his own suspicions.

I am not being funny - but there is no excuse for that level of brain deadness...actually, perhaps he may have being funny and operating on a whole different level......nah - he was Thick.

Not a dig at Yanks...just a dig at ignorant f*uckwits.

America is not a bad place but the f*ckwit to people ratio seemed to be a bit messed up. Perhaps I have just been unlucky, 5 times. Dont get me wrong - dead friendly...just a bit...erm...distant. But they must do something right...having replaced the king with the court jester and still surviving is some trick.

lol - oh well heyho - i guess every nation has its fair share. We had Jeffrey Archer.

 

[old.0xygen]

One thing I definitely agree with, Billy Elliot is by far the best movie I have ever seen. The whole movie hits very close to home for me.

You have a gay 12 year old friend?