S
Spudgie
Guest
Don't hurt me - I didn't write it =) 
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the Citizens of the United States of America:
In the light of your failure ... to[properly]govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories, except Utah, which she doesn't fancy. Your new Prime Minister (the Rt.Hon. Tony Blair MP, for the 98 percent of you who are unaware that there is a world outside your borders)will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium" and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required, occasionally, to cast British actors as the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen," but only after obeying Rule 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing "American football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as "American football" is not a very good game.
The two percent of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American football." You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls, as it
is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to "American football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every 20 seconds, or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98 percent of you who are not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians may have been the bad guys up to now but they ain't the worst. By the way, "merde" is French for "shit."
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
11. The FAA is to be absorbed into the CAA as the Western office, with immediate effect. FARs are to be replaced by JARs which, in turn, will be
replaced by BCARs.
12. The "N" registration will be replaced by "G" on all US-operated aircraft.
13. Driving will be on the left side of the road. Trucks (which will be called lorries, with immediate effect) will change over side on Sunday next,and cars one month later, if there are any left by then.
Add this to any complaints you have over the content of DAOC and send to Mythic. GOA is not responsible for the patches and game content - Mythic is. So stop posting massive nerf/whinging threads addressed to GOA, its not their call.
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the Citizens of the United States of America:
In the light of your failure ... to[properly]govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories, except Utah, which she doesn't fancy. Your new Prime Minister (the Rt.Hon. Tony Blair MP, for the 98 percent of you who are unaware that there is a world outside your borders)will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium" and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required, occasionally, to cast British actors as the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen," but only after obeying Rule 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing "American football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as "American football" is not a very good game.
The two percent of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American football." You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls, as it
is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to "American football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every 20 seconds, or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98 percent of you who are not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians may have been the bad guys up to now but they ain't the worst. By the way, "merde" is French for "shit."
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
11. The FAA is to be absorbed into the CAA as the Western office, with immediate effect. FARs are to be replaced by JARs which, in turn, will be
replaced by BCARs.
12. The "N" registration will be replaced by "G" on all US-operated aircraft.
13. Driving will be on the left side of the road. Trucks (which will be called lorries, with immediate effect) will change over side on Sunday next,and cars one month later, if there are any left by then.
Add this to any complaints you have over the content of DAOC and send to Mythic. GOA is not responsible for the patches and game content - Mythic is. So stop posting massive nerf/whinging threads addressed to GOA, its not their call.
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<-----Martha