Imgormiel
Part of the furniture
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2004
- Messages
- 4,372
Help how does a man compete with this?
- Thread starter tris-
- Start date
Overdriven
Dumpster Fire of The South
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 12,638
Lol - I have a crazy image of an MP3 player vibrator, I'm not sure that's good.
Though I could be persuaded to be paid to make the MP3 files for them to use
They're real. They pulse/vibrate dependant on the beats of the song you're listening to... I wonder if there are any female thrash metal fans out there who own one oO
tbh you cant compete with it... but dont worry guys, your safe until they develop a rampant rabbit that can do the following:
make you a cup of tea
give you a foot rub when you get in from work
run your bath when your busy
make you scrambled eggs on toast when your not feeling to chipper
listen to you grumbling about a crap day then give you a cuddle
laugh at your jokes/make you laugh
be a socially acceptable dinner companion in a restaurant
and not utterly embarrass you to the point of mortification when someone stumbles across you in the draw while they were looking for a pen.
however it beats you guys hands down when it comes to:
not leaving socks, pants and half eaten sandwiches on the floor
not leaving tissues in pockets then putting said pocketed items in the tumble drier
it doesnt take up all the bed and i doubt it snores
it doesnt start talking when Dr Who is on
and im fairly sure there is no way it can slide up your bum when your not paying attention then exclaim "whoops sorry...i slipped"
make you a cup of tea
give you a foot rub when you get in from work
run your bath when your busy
make you scrambled eggs on toast when your not feeling to chipper
listen to you grumbling about a crap day then give you a cuddle
laugh at your jokes/make you laugh
be a socially acceptable dinner companion in a restaurant
and not utterly embarrass you to the point of mortification when someone stumbles across you in the draw while they were looking for a pen.
however it beats you guys hands down when it comes to:
not leaving socks, pants and half eaten sandwiches on the floor
not leaving tissues in pockets then putting said pocketed items in the tumble drier
it doesnt take up all the bed and i doubt it snores
it doesnt start talking when Dr Who is on
and im fairly sure there is no way it can slide up your bum when your not paying attention then exclaim "whoops sorry...i slipped"
tris-
Failed Geordie and Parmothief
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Messages
- 15,260
- Thread starter
- #35
No, but you could always kiss this afterwards........
im a bit concerned.
i had one of those though not the lip one. i sealed it in a box when moving house and wraped that box in duct tape so you couldnt really get in without trying.
thing is, i havent seen the box for the last 3 years so ive got no idea whos got hold of it now
crispy
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2004
- Messages
- 2,706
Uhm... its for chewing my cookies... yes...
Binky the Bomb
Fledgling Freddie
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2004
- Messages
- 1,897
See, if Ann Summers wants women to NOT have sex with men, thats fine.
Just remember, we hold ALL the sperm, and Brad Pits married to Angelina Jolie whose probably sucked him dry of all his genetic material.
Mark my words, just as soon a women turn around and want kids, we're suddenly wanted. Personally, I'd make sure they could only get it directly, none of this sperm in a cup crap, direct deposit. Then as soon as they agree, oh, 'I have a headache, maybe next week'... passive aggressive revenge! An entire generation of frigid, desperate and horny women begging men for sperm, and all down to Ann Summers...
"War of the sexes, part 2."
Sperm will be sold by the ejaculation, up to a thousand Great British Pounds (£) per squirt. No semen is left behind! Sex will become a sterile business transaction, nothing more, nothing less, with men holding all the cards once more. Black markets will be set up, not with weapons and drugs, but with harvested sperm and man milking facilities, a draconian future which is bleak and depressing, and its all Ann Summers fault.
Man I need to get laid.
Just remember, we hold ALL the sperm, and Brad Pits married to Angelina Jolie whose probably sucked him dry of all his genetic material.
Mark my words, just as soon a women turn around and want kids, we're suddenly wanted. Personally, I'd make sure they could only get it directly, none of this sperm in a cup crap, direct deposit. Then as soon as they agree, oh, 'I have a headache, maybe next week'... passive aggressive revenge! An entire generation of frigid, desperate and horny women begging men for sperm, and all down to Ann Summers...
"War of the sexes, part 2."
Sperm will be sold by the ejaculation, up to a thousand Great British Pounds (£) per squirt. No semen is left behind! Sex will become a sterile business transaction, nothing more, nothing less, with men holding all the cards once more. Black markets will be set up, not with weapons and drugs, but with harvested sperm and man milking facilities, a draconian future which is bleak and depressing, and its all Ann Summers fault.
Man I need to get laid.
