harvesting your faeces

[tris-]

i have been giving the task of shitting into a small vesel.

this isnt something ive done before, so i would like to know the best way to go about this. bearing in mind the shit is quite runny, not your normal log affair.

i would of asked the doc, but after having her shove a finger up my ass, i didnt fancy any polite conversation.

 

[Haggus]

lolololol

 

[leviathane]

well if it's runny runny try using a funnel

 

[tris-]

lolololol

??

i just wanna know the best methods for shitting in a small tub man, im not here to be mocked.

well if it's runny runny try using a funnel

i dont currently have a funnel, but good idea. i may purchase one later

 

[georgie]

Perhaps you could shit in a bowl (or any other recepticle with a wider opening) and then spoon it into the small tub afterwards?

 

[Outlander]

drain your toilet, have a shit, spoon it in, refill toilet. for draining I just mean secure the ballcock and flush it, then release the cock after youve done the business.

 

[tris-]

the problem i could see though is any external equipment is not sterile.

this tub is sterile inside.

anything that is not the inside of the tub may bring visitors that we dont want.

 

[Rhori]

grab the tub with your hand, stand above a toilet, shit and catch the shit if you can with tub. Sure the tub will get shit all over it, just like your hand.. but hey you have shit inside the tub aswell

 

[tris-]

also, does anyone have an idea how much is generally required?

do you fill that sucker to the brim or do they just want a little bit or what?

 

[cHodAX]

Have a shit in the bathroom sink, spoon away a decent sample and then wash away the remaining with hot soapy water and some bleach.

 

[Adlatus Hellbringer]

U need to fill the tub right to the top m8 otherwise they wont have a big enough sample... fill it so its hard to fit on the cap

Lolersk8er

 

[Zegas]

Do the fashionable thing, get a camera and a friend and film you trying all the ways till you are successful and put it on youtube.com!

 

[elisera]

the problem i could see though is any external equipment is not sterile.

this tub is sterile inside.

anything that is not the inside of the tub may bring visitors that we dont want.

Pour boiling water on/through whatever you use to get it into the tub? Should sterilise it enough.

 

[Blackjack]

Bwuhaha Tris
If you hold the thing close enough to your hole it shouldn't be able to spray all over the place, you might want to squat in the tub or something so it easy to clean any spray'age though.

 

[crispy]

Put enough toiletpaper down the toilet, take a shit and dig some up. Should be pretty clean tbh... except for the stuff you use to dig with (aka dont use your hands)

 

[cHodAX]

well if it's runny runny try using a funnel

Just make sure there are no funnel web spiders in it first

 

[swords]

assuming you have not opened the sterile tub and had a good sniff, all you need to do is position yourself over the toilet (dont sit, you need to hold your position just above the bowl which will get tiring) open the pot with gloved hands (just get some cheap disposable nitrile gloves) attept to hit the pot (i know the universals aren't very wide but you'll have to get as much in as possible and rinse the remainder off once you've capped it if its runny). If it helps the lab staff have seen thousands of shit samples before so yours ain't special and 20ml should be more than enough to do microbial screening etc (universals are 30ml typically). get some gloves if poss it'll make you less concerned about getting shit on your hands so you can make sure you get it in the pot rather than over the sides. Make sure you clean the sides of anything afterwards (as much as lab staff like testing shit, it's always nicer when it's in the damn pot) and label it clearly.

 

[Huntingtons]

dutch tape it to your ass, works everytime

 

[Outlander]

and label it clearly.

"this is my shit kkthxbb"

 

[Dandare]

Jesus Tris I've made some bad posts in the past but this has gotta be the shittest ever.
Your not here to be mocked my god how can you not expect people to mock that?
If your ill I'm sorry bud, but posting on a public forum about how to take a stool sample is not a good idea
Hope you get better soon....and ahem wash your hands
This has gotta be the first post I ever felt sick irl over

 

[eggy]

Haha.

Testing faeces for a living; now I know why I didn't do medicine.

 

[tris-]

Jesus Tris I've made some bad posts in the past but this has gotta be the shittest ever.
Your not here to be mocked my god how can you not expect people to mock that?
If your ill I'm sorry bud, but posting on a public forum about how to take a stool sample is not a good idea
Hope you get better soon....and ahem wash your hands
This has gotta be the first post I ever felt sick irl over

rofl. na mock away. fact is, ive never shit in a tub before. if you need to know something, someone on FH has the answer to anything you can possibly ask.

 

[Dandare]

rofl. na mock away. fact is, ive never shit in a tub before. if you need to know something, someone on FH has the answer to anything you can possibly ask.

Is it for work or studying or are you poorly?
And by all the replies I never expected so many people to know how to shit in a tub
Mine would prolly have to go in a bottle tbh
Uggh feel sick again

 

[Maeloch]

Thought all daocs shat in buckets anyhow so they don't have to leave the pc. Buy a potty from Boots ffs.

 

[Hansmoleman]

buy a german toilet?

 

[tris-]

Is it for work or studying or are you poorly?
And by all the replies I never expected so many people to know how to shit in a tub
Mine would prolly have to go in a bottle tbh
Uggh feel sick again

im teh sickzor.

told you, what ever you need to know you can always assume at least 5 people here will have an answer for it.

 

[crispy]

bad post deleting

 

[old.Tohtori]

Can't believe noone said this...

Sh*t thread imho.

 

[Vladamir]

Can't believe noone said this...

Sh*t thread imho.

Agreed, its full of crap

 

[tris-]

Can't believe noone said this...

Sh*t thread imho.

dandare said it :/