Fucking things up

[DocWolfe]

lol, your fuck ups are funny though man. i bet even you laughed at them.

i was lookin for the sad ones. but still, it doesnt matter. post more though people, they r teh funny

i will do some of mine.

lost my virginity to a 23 yr old when i was 17. she thought i was 21 and didnt know i was a virgin lol. and everything was still going ok till i decided to tell the truth.

got drunk on a pint of mixed spiirits when i was 12, at home with my friend. he went unconcious and threw up on my ceiling. i was just crying. we went to hospital. i took time off school.

nearly had a 3 some with this girl, with my step uncle who is only 2 yrs older than me. i fucked up when we are all nearly going at it and let me uncle tell her we r relatives. then she wasnt up for it anymore. he got her him self.

just now i smoked a load of weed and i thnk i let the room stink out too much.

2 man spit roast... with a relative... do you tell interesting stories around the sunday dinner table...?

I was offered a 2 man spit roast, and then if I did it I was offered a 2 girl threesome... but the guy whose girlfriend offered wasn't up for it he found it freaky... well I am his best mate

my biggest fuck up was going out with a bird for 7 months and then getting dumped and then realising finally that she was fat ugly and I can do much better, and I did.

 

[Deepfat]

This sounds like a story from FHM but it's true...

So me and my flatmate are on holiday in Crete and we meet these two nice girls from Kent. Nothing's happening romantically between any of us we just all four get on as mates etc. Anyway, three months after we get back they phone up and sya they're coming up for the weekend to see us. We go out on a Saturday night and our "mate" John shows up gets really drunk, makes a complete ass of himself and tries it on with one of the girls. They're obviously a little non-plussed by this turn of events so they ask Pete and myself to get rid of him.

IF only life were so easy. Pete and I are fairly small fellas and John is 6'3" tall, a black belt in Karate and has a very nasty temper to boot so we patiently explain that, while we share their discomfort, John is likely to cause a certain amount of discomfort to me and Pete should we suggest he buggers off. So we hatch a plan to take him back to our flat get him so drunk he passes out rendering him harmless.

This plan works to perfection and within fifteen minutes or so John is out like a light passed out. We heave a collective sigh of releif and take a well earned rest from him. An hour and several drinks later we all four of us decide that perhaps a little revenge is in order after him nearly having ruined our night altogether. So the girls grab their make-up bags and we give him a full make-over. Lipstick, eye-liner, blusher, nail varnish - the lot. We all have a bloody good laugh and take photos of him.

Five minutes later John decides he's going to start choking on his tongue and biting it etc. and then there's all this blood trickling down his chin and so on. We immediately panic and try to bring him round which of course he point blank refuses to do. We decide that we probably should call ambulance as we're all a bit drunk and none of us has any medical training of any kind at all. The ambulance guys tell us they'll be there in ten minutes and we all sigh in releif and relax a little.

Then, of course, it occurs to us that in our drunken panic we've forgotten that John now has a full set of make up on and perhaps as the ambluance is enroute we ought to clean it all off. The only thing is you just can't get nail varnish off in ten minutes flat. By the time the ambulance guys get there John is starting to come round a little and while they're asking him if he's ok he just keeps staring at his fingers wondering at what point in the night he'd put nail varnish on. The four of us, of course, are looking round the room innocently pretending we can't see what's bothering him. Thankfully the paramedics take John home before he can put two and two together to our releif! He never mentioned the incident after that for some reason....

Moral of the story is revenge might be a dish best served cold but not when you're out cold!

 

[Conchabar]

just now i smoked a load of weed and i thnk i let the room stink out too much.

whys that a bad thing?

 

[DocWolfe]

whys that a bad thing?

because its detrimental to your health and to the others around you

 

[Ezteq]

2 man spit roast... with a relative... do you tell interesting stories around the sunday dinner table...?

rofl i like that hehehe.


Umm biggest way i've fucked up, im too "open" with people and i always end up getting nailed, my bf says i should put up more of a fascade and not let people near the real me..... to which i replied "ow but i actually like me i dont want to be any one else "

And besides the people that have all hurt me are all related to me, i should have known better but i still let them get to me so finally i've got them all out of my life and am now pretty much a lone entity but the fuck up was letting them get close enough to take the piss so majorly in the first place.

thats the big dastardly fuck up a few lighter ones are:

Getting dragged in to deputy heads office when i was 15 (was eating an icecream in corridor) flinging my arms about in exasperation explaining that i was taking the ice cream outside and looking down to see i was left holding an empty cone, the ice cream was sliding down the wall behind me.

Being on sponsored walk at school and it was sooo hot dont know what came over me, why i did it but i just jumped in the sea and started swimming about, fully cloathed, had to get driven back to school.

Pissing about in all my gcse exams, i didnt get a single grade i just totally lost my nerve got all belligerant about it and thought Ha i don't need these anyway!........ though in my defence i am now doing night school to redeem myself as its always been something i have been deeply ashamed of.

Then theres the drunk ones, which i'm not even going to start on because there's soo damn many of them! and theyre all rather sorded so best left aloone.

And the tippity top was that incidant in my martial arts class a couple of months ago where i decided to be a flashy cow and did less of a karate kid than a calamity jane and broke my hand when attempting to punch a board, had my last appointment at hospital yesterday and it seems that during the operation they got a nerve caught in the wound and its now mixed with scar tissue so me hand keeps doing all sorts of odd stuff, may have to have another op if its not calmed down in 3 months.... what a boner!

 

[old.Tohtori]

im too "open" with people and i always end up getting nailed, my bf says i should put up more

Mis-quote of the decade

 

[Ezteq]

Mis-quote of the decade

LOOOOOOOL oi!! i put up the other night fgs im not a machine dammit!

:touch:

 

[Conchabar]

because its detrimental to your health and to the others around you

lol had enough of arguing on this with ignorant people

 

[old.Tohtori]

lol had enough of arguing on this with ignorant people

That makes you sound a bit judging towards non smoking peeps and anti-"drug" people, so maybe you wanted to say:

"I see your point, and respect your opinion, even though i disagree, but this is not the time nor place to discuss it. If you wish to discuss this matter further, we can make a new thread about it or even take it to private messaging."

No?

 

[DocWolfe]

That makes you sound a bit judging towards non smoking peeps and anti-"drug" people, so maybe you wanted to say:

"I see your point, and respect your opinion, even though i disagree, but this is not the time nor place to discuss it. If you wish to discuss this matter further, we can make a new thread about it or even take it to private messaging."

No?

Nah, its ok seel I'm man enough to agree that I'm ignorant and a fucking retard.

 

[Ezteq]

Nah, its ok seel I'm man enough to agree that I'm ignorant and a fucking retard.

what ya doin in his room any-hoo.....


the mood he's in it may not be safe oO

 

[old.Tohtori]

Nah, its ok seel I'm man enough to agree that I'm ignorant and a fucking retard.

Oh come on! I'm on a mission to bring this forum into a new era of civilized conversation and respect towards your fellow forumer...you twat!

 

[tris-]

2 man spit roast... with a relative... do you tell interesting stories around the sunday dinner table...?

I was offered a 2 man spit roast, and then if I did it I was offered a 2 girl threesome... but the guy whose girlfriend offered wasn't up for it he found it freaky... well I am his best mate

my biggest fuck up was going out with a bird for 7 months and then getting dumped and then realising finally that she was fat ugly and I can do much better, and I did.

ye, well even she thought it was sick too lol. i didnt care but i think my uncle was being greedy thats he told her.
how did he throw up on the ceiling? on a top bunk of a bunk bed. that was also my uncle.

 

[Marc]

I fucked up my gsce RE exam cos i was tripping during it. Just sat there waving my hand in front of my face for 2 hours watching the trials.

 

[Minimac]

fucked up my life cos of daoc .. Will get back on track

 

[tris-]

lol, thats the funniest one yet

 

[Minimac]

lol, thats the funniest one yet

Only truth eh? and i can speak for most of us

 

[Darksword]

ohh ye

came home drunk and decided to throw myself on my bed... i missed, woke everyone in the house and broke my Croc for PS game

drunk, threw up on the floor. covered it with a cap (since that magicly makes it disapear) had to throw out the cap and change the rug in that room the next day.

nearly set my kitchen on fire.

skating inside and knocking a big hole in the wall.

i beat you, i did set the kitchen on fire! YUS!

 

[Blackjack]

i beat you, i did set the kitchen on fire! YUS!

yup, i managed to extinguish the towel thingy i left on the stove before it got out of hand

 

[Darksword]

This sounds like a story from FHM but it's true...

So me and my flatmate are on holiday in Crete and we meet these two nice girls from Kent. Nothing's happening romantically between any of us we just all four get on as mates etc. Anyway, three months after we get back they phone up and sya they're coming up for the weekend to see us. We go out on a Saturday night and our "mate" John shows up gets really drunk, makes a complete ass of himself and tries it on with one of the girls. They're obviously a little non-plussed by this turn of events so they ask Pete and myself to get rid of him.

IF only life were so easy. Pete and I are fairly small fellas and John is 6'3" tall, a black belt in Karate and has a very nasty temper to boot so we patiently explain that, while we share their discomfort, John is likely to cause a certain amount of discomfort to me and Pete should we suggest he buggers off. So we hatch a plan to take him back to our flat get him so drunk he passes out rendering him harmless.

This plan works to perfection and within fifteen minutes or so John is out like a light passed out. We heave a collective sigh of releif and take a well earned rest from him. An hour and several drinks later we all four of us decide that perhaps a little revenge is in order after him nearly having ruined our night altogether. So the girls grab their make-up bags and we give him a full make-over. Lipstick, eye-liner, blusher, nail varnish - the lot. We all have a bloody good laugh and take photos of him.

Five minutes later John decides he's going to start choking on his tongue and biting it etc. and then there's all this blood trickling down his chin and so on. We immediately panic and try to bring him round which of course he point blank refuses to do. We decide that we probably should call ambulance as we're all a bit drunk and none of us has any medical training of any kind at all. The ambulance guys tell us they'll be there in ten minutes and we all sigh in releif and relax a little.

Then, of course, it occurs to us that in our drunken panic we've forgotten that John now has a full set of make up on and perhaps as the ambluance is enroute we ought to clean it all off. The only thing is you just can't get nail varnish off in ten minutes flat. By the time the ambulance guys get there John is starting to come round a little and while they're asking him if he's ok he just keeps staring at his fingers wondering at what point in the night he'd put nail varnish on. The four of us, of course, are looking round the room innocently pretending we can't see what's bothering him. Thankfully the paramedics take John home before he can put two and two together to our releif! He never mentioned the incident after that for some reason....

Moral of the story is revenge might be a dish best served cold but not when you're out cold!

thats a pretty shitty thing to do, ditch your mate because he's drunk when your on a night out, and to do that you get him so drunk hje passes out, then draw on him to impress some girls.


and smoking isnt bad for your health, smkoing weed anyway, it helps you relax, relaxing is good .

and tris you have to actually explain your fuck up dont be such a girly man.

and u wanted to spitroast? that makes you 50% gay.

 

[Aoln]

smoking weed is hardly good for you either, prolonged and excessive use destroys your brain, trust me

 

[MKJ]

I never fucks up. If I seem to fuck up tis cos the other person isn't right for me. Their mistake not mine. Worse thing a person can try and do is change someone instead of accepting that they are a complete crazy from the off. Only way a complete crazy person is gonna be happy is with another crazy person. Don't ever ever ever ever stick with someone that is 'normal' if you just 'half crazy' even. It is the worse scenario for you and them.

So to sum up wotever you did is because the other person is at fault. See all you need to be is logical.

The 'King' has spoken. U knows it makes sense . Where is that pint of wine I was drinking? Oh found it - right next to me.

 

[Equador]

I never fucks up. If I seem to fuck up tis cos the other person isn't right for me. Their mistake not mine. Worse thing a person can try and do is change someone instead of accepting that they are a complete crazy from the off. Only way a complete crazy person is gonna be happy is with another crazy person. Don't ever ever ever ever stick with someone that is 'normal' if you just 'half crazy' even. It is the worse scenario for you and them.

So to sum up wotever you did is because the other person is at fault. See all you need to be is logical.

The 'King' has spoken. U knows it makes sense . Where is that pint of wine I was drinking? Oh found it - right next to me.

So what you're saying...if something goes wrong, it never is your fault?

 

[Blackjack]

So what you're saying...if something goes wrong, it never is your fault?

It's better just to ignore this guy Eq

 

[tris-]

smoking weed is hardly good for you either, prolonged and excessive use destroys your brain, trust me

lets not turn this into an oppinion FFA on drugs, if conch sees this he will go crazy. i nearly did to.

stick to the matters at hand

 

[MKJ]

So what you're saying...if something goes wrong, it never is your fault?

Yeah . Works for me.

 

[tris-]

just an update on my fuck up -

its all completley fine now, and i think what i thought was a fuck up actually helped everything to come to what it is!

so happy im gonna wee my self.

 

[Blackjack]

just an update on my fuck up -

its all completley fine now, and i think what i thought was a fuck up actually helped everything to come to what it is!

so happy im gonna wee my self.

so you got yourself a gf? but unless she is into goldenshowers i suggest controlling the urinating

 

[tris-]

not a gf no.

wouldnt put it past me if she was into golden showers though, lol. i could come straight out and ask her and she probably wouldnt mind.

 

[Blackjack]

not a gf no.

wouldnt put it past me if she was into golden showers though, lol. i could come straight out and ask her and she probably wouldnt mind.

So you found yourself a nice fuckpuppet then ^^ if that isn't it im running out of guesses