For those who don't read the news

[IainC]

There is a job offer for a new English Community Manager. Details are here.

 

[Ezteq]

do you need a tea lady?

Ezteq CV:
- make a great brew: tea (herbal & fruit), coffee, hot chocolate.

- put wide range of bikkies on a doiley (including the pink wafer ones) also can provide fondant fancies for board meetings,

- can say "Lawks" in a convincing manner and tell others about my alements (got a A* in slipping in alement related news when talking about a completely unrelated topic).

- guarenteed to pilfer office supplies, magazines and loose change whenever left unattended.

- have taken and exceeded the CHATs gossip examination

- have own uniform (baggy support hoes, unmatched)
overall with various bulging pockets & hankies in sleeves
head scarf (with curlers)
carpet slippers, or clicky shoes are both available so management preferance dictates which.

also can procure a husband called "stan" or "alf" several unruly grandchildren and photo's (to be whipped out at any given opportunity) on demand.


To hire me as the best full on Char Lady your ever going to experience call 5800 OLD HAG or mail me at trollydolly@urn.com

 

[Naetha]

I'd love this job, but I just can't bring myself to move to France

 

[Corran]

Let me work from home and i will apply... looking for a job atm but stuck in scotland

 

[Deepfat]

Sounds like a fun job it's just that I got too many commitments here to apply...

Still if Ez needs a job could do with a char lady in my house

 

[Kagato]

2 sugars, extra milk in mine please Ezteq

 

[UndyingAngel]

There is a job offer for a new English Community Manager. Details are here.

line one

Good spoken and written English (grammar, spelling, literature).

Well im fucked then :<

 

[Overdriven]

I'd totally apply for the job, but other than the fact that it's in France; and France is where my relatives are there's NO chance in hell that I'll apply.

 

[Howley]

I'd totally apply for the job, but other than the fact that it's in France; and France is where my relatives are there's NO chance in hell that I'll apply.

rofl

 

[Krakatau]

I think I would be an ideal candidate for the job, but is the salary ok ??

 

[Awarkle]

France has a higher rate of VAT than the UK however they do have much cheaper living costs than the UK so food/electricity and stuffs is less (rmember most of france is run by nuclear power).

when i went over last christmas they just had that huricane through paris so i didnt get it at its best but the subway was a good size and people seemed generally helpful.

although i got incredibly hungry because i didnt know how to order food so went to mcdonalds and was shown up by the dude behind the counter speaking english than i could speak french.

I would take the job but its the whole "france" issue if i spoke the language better than what i do i wouldnt think twice i think ill just put in my application for teacher training instead

 

[Sparda]

think is those, totaly surround yourself with another language for about 6 weeks, and you'll start picking it up, after 3-6 months you will be near fluent in french. Just cant read or write it though.

 

[Raven]

- put wide range of bikkies on a doiley (including the pink wafer ones) also can provide fondant fancies for board meetings

hired!

 

[Equador]

And THIS would be the moment where Requiel came and and said :

Omg thread Hijack QQ nerf u!!

 

[Naffets]

I'd apply if it wasn't france

 

[VampiiricMist]

my application

NAME: Vamp iiricmist

[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

 

[Equador]

You didn't make that one up yourself, I've read it before
Still funny though

 

[Kami]

6 month contract, they're planning well ahead!

 

[Gamah]

I should apply!

 

[Gotrag]

NAME: Vamp iiricmist

[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

lol i would hire you just for that

 

[Corran]

6 month contract, they're planning well ahead!

It only a 6month contract as it to cover extended leave for Zenythe, not to replace or all together

 

[Dallas]

id apply, if it wasnt goa

 

[Flimgoblin]

It only a 6month contract as it to cover extended leave for Zenythe, not to replace or all together

think it said initially 6-12 months contract - i.e. if you suck you get booted after 6 months

 

[Ezteq]

cor jeeze listen to y'all! "ooow i'd go for it if only it wasn't in france".

wimps!
i tell you what if i had the education behind me i'd bloody jump at the chance! get out there broaden my horizons and all that. so it's in a country you feel a little dubious about pfft so what, get your arse out there and find out for yourself if you actually like the place don't go off what you see in the media.

if there's one thing that really makes me sad it's missed opportunities, people being too scared to take the plunge and have a go, then before you know it your too old to do these things and you sit in your room all day going "cor i wish i'd done such and such when i was younger".

 

[Gamah]

think it said initially 6-12 months contract - i.e. if you suck you get booted after 6 months

that humberton guard webpage is seriously outdated

 

[Kami]

that humberton guard webpage is seriously outdated

Gamah has a very good point for a change

 

[Dimmer]

Wished I had the A-level in english, if so would have applyed, but NM only have D or is it C english :/

 

[Flimgoblin]

so it's in a country you feel a little dubious about pfft so what, get your arse out there and find out for yourself if you actually like the place don't go off what you see in the media..

it's probably more of a "don't really fancy the idea of moving country" than a particular dislike of france, though I could be wrong...

 

[Flimgoblin]

that humberton guard webpage is seriously outdated

not sure what that's got to do with anything but yes - I'm too lazy to hook up the front page to the forums to give me an easy "post info" method and too lazy to update it ever

(I don't really fancy doing work when I get home )

maybe one of these years.

 

[Naetha]

cor jeeze listen to y'all! "ooow i'd go for it if only it wasn't in france".

wimps!
i tell you what if i had the education behind me i'd bloody jump at the chance! get out there broaden my horizons and all that. so it's in a country you feel a little dubious about pfft so what, get your arse out there and find out for yourself if you actually like the place don't go off what you see in the media.

if there's one thing that really makes me sad it's missed opportunities, people being too scared to take the plunge and have a go, then before you know it your too old to do these things and you sit in your room all day going "cor i wish i'd done such and such when i was younger".

Its not always that easy - I already have a job, a mortgage, a husband - if I am to move over to France it needs to be for something serious (which with a 6 month contract if obviously isn't) and it needs to be a career, not just somethng to do for a bit. If it was based in the UK, then it would be much easier to try for 6 months and then decide if I want to continue or go back to my previous job.

I'm still up for taking the plunge with new opportunities etc - moving to Canada in 2 years time (just need to get my debts sorted out )