Fear of Death

Discussion in 'The Front Room' started by SoWat, Jan 14, 2004.

  1. SoWat

    SoWat Loyal Freddie

    I had a very interesting, if somewhat boozy, discussion in the pub this evening... Fear of Death!

    I and most of my friends won't see our thirties again, and after a chance remark by one, it emerged that most of us think more about death now than we ever did (perfectly natural, as I never thought about it when younger).

    We all eventually agreed that the biggest fear we had was that after death, there'd just be a total cessation of being (if that makes sense). In the past when I've briefly thought about death, it's always seemed as if I'd be some sort of spectator at my own death, able to hear comments from other people about me, and 'seeing' how their lives would continue... stuff like that.

    However, the real possibility of death just being a 'cessation of being' is a pretty scary one; which is odd as although people may avoid paying taxes, they aren't going to avoid dying. The more I think about that possibility, the more awful it seems!

    Anyway, now in a more morbid frame of mind, we talked a bit about life. This cheered us up a little :)

    My thoughts at the end of the evening were pretty mixed to say the least. I'm sure that that evening in the pub was one of those milestones one reaches now and then in life; where something happens to changes one's outlook forever.

    When we spoke about life, it suddenly hit me that the things that gave us the most pleasure wasn't the stereo, the car or the nice house, but the family, the friends, the accomplishments (and even the failures). I think we knew this anyway, but we tend to get bogged down with the trivialities of life to really appreciate it.

    I nearly deleted this, but what the hell, I think I'll post it!
  2. L_Plates

    L_Plates Fledgling Freddie

    I love conversations that they make you realise what life is all about.

    Anyways i say why worry about something that you have no way of stopping.


    Life is short enjoy it.
  3. gmloki

    gmloki Part of the furniture

    Its only the physical that dies really isnt it. My Gran helped a lot to bring me up when my parents split up. We were extremely close. I was completely devistated when she passed away. As time grew on I could remember the times we laughed together and the times we cried together. You have to make sure that you start making the good memories now for yuor kids to look back upon. That way you shold not have any fear of death. :)
  4. RandomBastard

    RandomBastard Can't get enough of FH

    If you kill me i will become more powerfull than you can ever imagine.
  5. Deadmanwalking

    Deadmanwalking Fledgling Freddie

    I always thought i feared death. Everyone does i think, it is something we are taught to beileive is bad. We see people dieing on the news or hear about our family dyeing and it is always seen as bad.

    I for one have absolutely no fear of death. I just hope it comes after i have accomplished some of the things i have set out to do. Which the main thing is ironicly the one most likely to get me killed.
  6. Gray

    Gray FH is my second home

    Id always wished when it happened... I could "restart" my life and change all the things which ive fucked up badly (and which has fucked me over :/).

    Become a real life "Quantum Leaper - Sam Beckitt" ;)
  7. PR.

    PR. Fledgling Freddie

    Whats wrong with 'cessation of being'?!

    Running to work, going to be late run in to the road up comes a bus behind you 35mph <SMACK> <DEAD>

    You never knew it happened, everything you are, everything you experienced gone. You have no regrets, no feeling of lose, nothing

    I suppose if you went peacefully in your sleep with your family around as your brain dies it picks up things and certain words, but again after 20mins its nothing but a big fleshy/muscular lump.
  8. Reverend Flatus

    Reverend Flatus Fledgling Freddie

    This is why I don't celebrate my birthday any more, it just reminds me that another year has been stripped mercilessly away!

    I started this when I was 35 and though "Shit 35. That's halfway through the three score and ten.".

    When you get to my age etc etc...
  9. SoWat

    SoWat Loyal Freddie

    What I was trying to say was that I'd somehow imagined I'd be a spectator after my death, as if I'd be a spirit or someting looking down on those left behind. The realisation that it might be just 'nothing' is something that I'd never really thought about (until tonight).

    It's a scary, but not horrifying, thought. Maybe because death is such an unknown for us.

    I think my main worry would be that I didn't leave my affairs 'in order' for my family.
  10. SoWat

    SoWat Loyal Freddie

    I just realised I'm 7 months older then you Rev :eek7:

    Though you seem to have started thinking about this 9 years before me!
  11. Conchabar

    Conchabar Fledgling Freddie

    lol u sound like me when i drivel on with friends ... o_O scarry
  12. Sharma

    Sharma Can't get enough of FH

    My view:

    The theory of ceasing to be, where you basically are nothing and you have no thoughts/feelings/nothing whatsoever, is extremely hard to get my head around as you are now, you are living you experiance sensations such as pain and emotions such as embrassment and joy and that, because of this the feeling of ceasing to have any of that any more is pretty much impossble to imagine as you wouldnt know what it would be like to see nothing or hear nothing or feeling nothing,the blind or deaf my have some grasp of what the first two are like but then again i am neither so i dont have a clue basically.

    Being a spirit or existing as some ethereal form is much easier to imagine as you would still have the feeling you have now however the living world would have no idea you are there but you would be aware of them, you would still experience sensations of joy and that, this is favourable because it is hard to come by the thought of ending and fuck all happening after that.

    Re-incarnation is another alternative heralded by some religions, this is also favourable because it gives a re-assuring sense of life never ending however you have no idea of the previous life so you start anew each time you pass away.

    There are other theories after death but i cant be bothered dragging them up, personally i favour the spiritual form as always because the thought of ceasing to be is a horrible thought, having said that i have no fear of death, its there you cant escape it so basically enjoy this place while youre here before you move on. :)
  13. Reverend Flatus

    Reverend Flatus Fledgling Freddie

    Spookily enough, I actually started thinking about this a lot earlier than that! At the age of six believe it or not.
  14. Tenko

    Tenko Fledgling Freddie

    I'm young enough to not fear my own death but old I'm enought to lie awake at night or to phone home for no reason because I'm scared that something will happen to my wife or my children.

    I read something recently that strangely settled me about my own mortality at least. Why fear the cessation of all being? Does the thought of billions of years when you weren't yet born scare you? If no then how is that different from billions of years when you will have ceased to be?

    You are here now.

    Don't forget to switch the lights off on the way out.
  15. adams901

    adams901 Part of the furniture

    I often think about death.

    I don't think im scared of death itself, im more scared of people I know and love dying around me. As sad as this may sound, I often sit there and think about where the world will be in 200 years time and what advances we would have made by then, I find it quite depressing that I wont be around to witness what is to come.

    I would like to think that we don't just cease to exist once we die but I think that it really is the end.
  16. Bullitt

    Bullitt One of Freddy's beloved

    I like Terry Pratchett's ideas in his discworld books, in that whatever you believe will happen, will in fact happen to you.
  17. Sharma

    Sharma Can't get enough of FH

    Well, i wouldnt mind being a spirit just watcing people mind ill be pissed if theres no social interaction! :p
  18. Deadmanwalking

    Deadmanwalking Fledgling Freddie

    You mean you interact socialy now?!
  19. Sharma

    Sharma Can't get enough of FH

    Oh hush dmw, only because its an unfamiliar concept to you. :p
  20. Deadmanwalking

    Deadmanwalking Fledgling Freddie

    I suppose you 80s tribute rock stars get alot of attention.
  21. Sharma

    Sharma Can't get enough of FH


  22. adams901

    adams901 Part of the furniture

    The part of death that probably frightens me the most is when your body dies yet the brain lives for x amount of minutes.

    I can imagine laying there thinking shit im dead.
  23. Sharma

    Sharma Can't get enough of FH

    What the odd thing would be is say if youre thinking that then suddenly you cant?

    Hard to imagine isnt it? :)
  24. Deady

    Deady Fledgling Freddie

    Yeah it is weird thinking about "nothingness".

    Your life is everything that you know.

    Everything becomes nothing when you die. Very hard to put into words, its just something you have to think about and then it hits you.

    Think of time advancing at an INSTANT speed while everything is just Blackness. The time will never END, but it will advance at an instant speed.

    And on a lighter note i think i'll have another Jaffa cake now.
  25. Mazling

    Mazling Fledgling Freddie

    It's not nothingness, it's a lack of nothingness. Lack of anything.

    Imagine it's your 5th birthday. You really really want a chewbacca toy. Your mum and dad buy you a chewbacca toy. You are happy. You have not got the model aeroplane they were thinking about getting for you. They don't tell you. That's nothing :)

    Hope that clears stuff up.
  26. leggy

    leggy Probably Scottish

    I've thought about this since I was about 5 (and worried about it). I am extremely aware of my own mortality and have been my whole life. I have to agree with sowat, total 'cessation' is a scary thought. Top that with the fact that your life span is so small and insignificant I subsequently find it hard to justify my existence (or anyone elses) other than "it just is". I think because of this I have become a total control freak. I hate the thought of my life being in anyone else's hands (spot the trust issues) and hate being driven by anyone. I'm also really uncomfortable flying now too. There is a million more things I could say on this subject to tell you how I feel but my hands are too cold, so I'm off for teh coffee.
  27. Kaitlyn

    Kaitlyn One of Freddy's beloved

    I'm not actually scared of death, my first experience of it was when I was six and I had to view my mothers body in her coffin, I remember looking and knowing it wasn't her anymore, just a shell. I think the spirit goes where you believe it will, so if you are a christian and really believe you have been sinful, you'll go to your idea of hell etc. Personally I want to be a spirit and haunt people, I figure that would be fun for a few hundred years.
  28. jaba

    jaba Fledgling Freddie

    Hehe, haunting people would be cool! especially if you were like a poltergeist and could move stuff around...do you reckon if they get bored they turn on a computer and play CS?
  29. Kaitlyn

    Kaitlyn One of Freddy's beloved

    I'd sure as hell learn how to.
  30. Rubric

    Rubric Part of the furniture

    Death is something i started to worry about alot last year when my wife was expecting my son. I am also aproaching the age when my own Father died & i am having my son at the same age he was so there are some freaky coincidences in our lives. A friend of mine consoled me in the end with these words.

    "If we die and there is nothing else then we won't know anything about it & if there is an afterlife or something, well thats a bonus".

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