FAO: Almec

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healer_mcheal

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lol, hope u dont find luris cute then :p

(It has been studied and determined that the most often used Sexual position for married couples is the doggie position.
The husband sits up and begs... And the wife rolls over and plays dead.)
 
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Sleet

Guest
makes sense if the wife rolls over and plays dead.....and mops the floor while she down there.....


ohhhhhhhhhhh


suffregettes coming for me
 
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Aloca

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No you dont i just find a nice joke site to fill this thread with
 
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Aloca

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Q: How do you give a blonde more head room?
A: Adjust the steering wheel.
 
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healer_mcheal

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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother to comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.

It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!
 
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Sleet

Guest
Originally posted by Aloca
No you dont i just find a nice joke site to fill this thread with
Click to expand...

be quick then!!!

good jokes keep me going longer
 
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Aloca

Guest
Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera. A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do.
Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud. She turned to her friend and said," Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"
 
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Aloca

Guest
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals.
She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend said, "O.K. then, what's the capital of France?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."
 
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healer_mcheal

Guest
Twin sisters in St.Luke's Nursing Home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other.
"Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE." So they wiggled up close to each other. "Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer.
Yet again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US
 
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Aloca

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What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?
 
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Sleet

Guest
Originally posted by Aloca
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals.
She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend said, "O.K. then, what's the capital of France?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."
Click to expand...


try google again!!!!!!!!


that was terrible
 
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healer_mcheal

Guest
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think atleast one of them would have seen it.
 
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Sleet

Guest
Originally posted by Aloca
What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?
Click to expand...

you met my girlfriend then? ;p
 
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Sleet

Guest
Originally posted by healer_mcheal
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think atleast one of them would have seen it.
Click to expand...

lol :)

a good one at last :)
 
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Aloca

Guest
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few.
"Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
 
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Aloca

Guest
Q: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater?
A: A blonde trying to set fire to it.
 
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healer_mcheal

Guest
Ok, as your dog I want to state what can piss me off bigtime:


When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

Blaming your farts on me... not funny.

Yelling at me for barking... I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG YOU IDIOT!!

How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over everything while you’re gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat?)

Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. (Exactly whose walk is this anyway?)

Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.....stop it. I mean..........c'mon already!.

Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why’d you buy carpet?

Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re just jealous.

Dog sweaters. Have you noticed my fur?

Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.

When you insist on picking up the piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.

The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. Wow, you fooled a dog!

What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
 
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Aloca

Guest
Definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four-way stop.
 
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Aloca

Guest
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!
 
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