dumped after five years

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inqy

One of Freddy's beloved
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old.Tohtori said:
Don't get me wrong...but you sounded like an utter bastard.

Needy, jealous, cheating(in that flirty way with office girl as one) and not appreciating...i'm curious how you could keep a girl for that long.

Then i read her traits, ofcourse with a pinch of salt since it IS your view on it and notice..hell...you're a match made in heaven.

But the main thing is, next time you go into a relly, you'll know about these wanker traits and learn how to do things better, with a better woman for you.

I agree. No offence G mate, but you sound a little fucked up right now. I really hated being with my wife but I wouldn't say anything half as offensive as what you just said.

You chose to stay with someone that apparently treated you like you said. You used her for sex and treated her badly also, so is it really all her fault? I think not.
 

Aada

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Sounds like it was your total lack of trust in her that pretty much killed it from the get go.

If you do not trust the person you are with then it is doomed to fail.

I never question my GF if she wants to go out with her friends down town because tbh thats all girls mainly go out for a laugh with their friends and to bitch about work.
 

old.Tohtori

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Have to say a bit off-topic, that it totally cracked me up every time an ex of mine went out of her way to flirt and suggest things to guys who hit on her, while she was sitting with me in a bar. I knew she wouldn't do anything, and the look on their face was priceless when she turned the table and started saying some over the top multiple orgasm all night things she does with me and asking what they had to offer :D
 

inqy

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old.Tohtori said:
Have to say a bit off-topic, that it totally cracked me up every time an ex of mine went out of her way to flirt and suggest things to guys who hit on her, while she was sitting with me in a bar. I knew she wouldn't do anything, and the look on their face was priceless when she turned the table and started saying some over the top multiple orgasm all night things she does with me and asking what they had to offer :D
that would have done my head in :)
 

itcheh

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BigG - it sounds like you're bouncing from one extreme to the other at the moment.

Take a step back and chill out.

I was going through a similar situation in Jan 2005 (just bought a house and a car with the bitch before she decided to call it a day ffs - I mean come on - WOMEN PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF).

Keep busy - work like a bastard, go to the gym, go and hang out with your mates, have a good time, see what opportunities come your way.

Bottom line is do what you have to do to get over this situation ... but generally I've found slagging her off or focusing on all her negative points is not the way to do it.
 

Wij

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But giving a spaff-beard to her naughty photos works wonders.
 

Trem

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itcheh was also good to me when Samm and I split up.

Hes still a n00b though. :eek:
 

itcheh

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I'm always good to you bitch ... like when I give you a good spanking at CSS
 

DaGaffer

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Ouch. Sorry to hear it Big G. It sucks, and after five years together it will carry on sucking for a while yet. First time it happened to me (similar time period, slightly smaller age gap), I was lucky I had good mates to get me out and get me thinking about other things. I'd like to say you'll get over it, but I think your first serious one, its more like scar tissue than simply moving on.
 

Trem

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Theres a difference between being a wanker and being a bit too honest, you are the latter imo.

Certainly not a bad thing.
 

`mongoose

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heh plenty of advice here, you don't need any more from someone who doesn't know you or her. (I know I know, captain obvious comment)

All I'll say is that I hope you feel better soon, Brooky has it right in his post above imo. Chill, don't drink too much and enjoy single life for a while. Beware the grass that always looks greener

Take care

M
 

Panda On Smack

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A little late but:

You have to put this relationship in the 'Experience' folder. While initially that sucks its rather important.

Seems you've learned a lot from your break up and perhaps where you went wrong, now you know your faults you can patch yourself up for the next relationship with someone 'better' and after applying your newly acquired wisdom things will go a lot more smoothly. You will be putting more into the relationship and so will get more out and grow a lot closer to your partner.
 

old.user4556

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inqy said:
You chose to stay with someone that apparently treated you like you said. You used her for sex and treated her badly also, so is it really all her fault? I think not.

You're right.

It's only now that it becomes so obvious though, she treated me that way and it pushed me towards other things. I grew out of it, it was a passing phase and I realised it was shallow attraction or a "dick thing". I knew I still loved her.

Too late though.

Give me some credit for being open and honest :), none of us are perfect. He who is without sin cast the first stone etc ;).
 

SAS

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Three and a half years in and I've just walked out on my gf last week who I was engaged to be married. It's a long story. Something just does not feel right anymore and I had to move out to sort my head out. Not sure how I feel anymore. Don't want to lose her, but do at the same time.

I won't hijack Big G's thread, but have found it helpful reading some of the replies.

G after a period of time you both might meet up and sort things out, but a recent split is like a wound and any contact with each other is like rubbing salt into it. In time things might work out, but for now you'll both be angry, upset e.t.c. and will do for weeks / months, but once things settle down you'll then see what you both really want?
 

old.user4556

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If there is a chance, we're talking weeks/months. Meanwhile, I will pursue a lot of women and enjoy myself.

We'll see.
 

tris-

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Big G said:
If there is a chance, we're talking weeks/months. Meanwhile, I will pursue a lot of women and enjoy myself.

We'll see.

why do you so crave to be with a women?

whats wrong with being single, getting pissed when you want and smoking a bit of pot when you goto bed?

having a bitch isnt everything ;)
 

caLLous

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SAS said:
Three and a half years in and I've just walked out on my gf last week who I was engaged to be married. It's a long story. Something just does not feel right anymore and I had to move out to sort my head out. Not sure how I feel anymore. Don't want to lose her, but do at the same time.
The timeframe means Mandy? :(
 

Wij

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tris- said:
why do you so crave to be with a women?

whats wrong with being single, getting pissed when you want and smoking a bit of pot when you goto bed?

having a bitch isnt everything ;)

Agreed. Leave birds alone for a bit.


(I don't mean go gay !)





(Unless you want to sweetie.)





(oops)
 

Bodhi

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tris- said:
why do you so crave to be with a women?

whats wrong with being single, getting pissed when you want and smoking a bit of pot when you goto bed?

having a bitch isnt everything ;)

Being single is much better if you don't wait until you get to bed. Lunchtime seems the ideal time to start that.....
 

FozzySon

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You're better off staying single and playing the field for a while, G.
After splitting with my ex (few years ago now) I was hating being single, but once I made the effort of going out and actually enjoying it, without thinking of her every 5mins, I realized it was for the best. Not had a full on relationship since then and I've loved every minute of it. Just think of it as a licence to become the ultimate male slut. :sex: ;)
 

rynnor

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Big G said:
If there is a chance, we're talking weeks/months. Meanwhile, I will pursue a lot of women and enjoy myself.

We'll see.

Don't torture yourself - write her off as experience and then do what it takes to forget her.

If you dont mentally close off the old relationship you wont be ready for a new one.

Theres a thousand girls out there you could have a great relationship with - mentally close off the old one - pause - then get looking for someone your more compatible with (someone a bit older imho - more likely to be of a similar mind).
 

Trem

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rynnor said:
Theres a thousand girls out there you could have a great relationship with - mentally close off the old one

You are wrong there I'm afraid. You are forgetting G is Scottish and there is only 7 females in Scotland, hes already been with 1 his mum is another and his sister is another. So that leaves 4 left to choose from, there is Lorraine Kelly who is married, Kams sister who has been promised to me, Leggys sister who has been promised to me and babs. So all that leaves G with is Rab C Nesbitt who is classed as female because of his b00bs.
 

nath

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And Gail Porter. Who's mine. I don't give a fuck if she's bald and a bit mad :\
 

Trem

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nath said:
And Gail Porter. Who's mine. I don't give a fuck if she's bald and a bit mad :\

I didn't mention her because shes married to me :eek:
 

old.user4556

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Feeling much better today, much better.

Had another cracking night last night, met a beautiful Irish girl with the bluest eyes (think she was 24). She gave me her phone number.
 

old.user4556

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tris- said:
why do you so crave to be with a women?

whats wrong with being single, getting pissed when you want and smoking a bit of pot when you goto bed?

having a bitch isnt everything ;)

I dunno Tris, it's hard to explain.

I think it's because i've always had a woman or previously women around and i'm very used to it - perhaps growing up with two sisters and a mother (and a dad of course, but he was always away on business) has something to do with it. I like being around them more than my own mates, I like the challenge and the chase, it's exciting. I love to look into a woman's eyes and chat to her, maybe even be a touch flirty.

That said, i do miss the reliability of a stable relationship (when it was sweet) and being able to rely on her.

Question to all:

I involved my girlfriend in everything I did, i played golf with her dad and was very close to her extended family. Is it such a good idea to get so engraned with someone else's life/ways? I feel that perhaps I needed my own world, my own personal persuits, my own strong social circle (lads nights) without her because now that she's gone it's taken a significant chunk of my life away.

Or is it inevitable that they will become "your other half"?
 
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