dumped after five years

[Ch3tan]

It was probably because those pants were dripping with babs love juice.

 

[Trem]

please dont tell me some chick left you because you left pants on the floor?

Lol it was one the reasons Samm gave when she finished with me, lots of little things like that. I got so fucking annoyed with her after a while that I couldn't even bare to see her, and then, and only then she wanted me back, we had a baby and all is good.

I also bought her a big white rose not long after we split up and I put it on her dresser in the bedroom, she got home from work, went upstairs and screamed her tits off because the flower scared her :/

I hate where Big G is right now and I am genuinely feeling it for him, its just the shagging before dumping thing that women seem to do that pisses me off the most.

 

[Calaen]

I love you Trem

Thats the thing about love when you got it there is nothing better, when its taking away from you, you feel lost, helpless and cold inside it is not nice at all.

 

[Trem]

I love you more!

Oh god aye, she rings me 79 times a day now and it gets on my tits sometimes but when she wasn't it was awful.

You do tend to take it for granted but what are me meant to do crawl across broken glass everyday to prove we love them.

On a side note, Leggy was an absolute diamond when me and Samm split up and he helped lots and it is something I won't forget.

 

[Calaen]

Nah not the broken glass, tbh though Mar knew me before she married me, I can be very fucking immature/childish but I am real good fun (and sexy as fook) and I love her with all my heart.

I had my heart ripped out by my last g/f I cried lots :-(

 

[Damini]

She had sex with him because she still loves him, and he still smells right, which to me says it's not because she's interested in another man like the suspicious Trem man thinks Twenty one is a horrible age anyway, it's the gurning dregs of being a teenager being flushed from your system, and you become hyperaware of what you can't and can't do, and what the slide into adulthood has meant you've left behind.

Most of the time when I go out, the blokes outnumber the women. One of my best friends is a guy. I enjoy chatting with guys (as being on this forum testifies, with its abnormally high testicle to ovary ratio) and it's nothing to do with a secret urge to lick them. So I also disagree with Trem's thinking that what she did was wrong - it's a hoooge leap to call it a double date anyway. Kenny hangs out with wimmins, I hang out with men, and there's nothing datey about it.

That said, Big G is a sexy lump of adorable manlyness (even though he does decorate his rooms like he wears tissue boxes on his feet) and I'm sure this is just a glitch. I'm not grand with relationship advice, but my top tips would be:

If you drink in the near future, hide your phone. Drunk calling is the sabotuer of relationships in trouble.

Be prepared for a Talk. Like a conventional talk, but with a capital T, and it goes on for ever and even if it gets really boring you still have to pretend you're still interested. On pain of death.

Have a Everything will work out for the best.

Sorry everything has gone so shitty. Feel the FH love though! FEEL IT!

 

[TdC]

Sorry to hear this turn of events Big G, really.

It happened to me end of 2004, and I was gutted, so I imagine I know somewhat how you feel. Keep your head up, and be the man you are. It's ok to feel bad, it's ok to hurt like hell, and when the time comes it's ok to get back up again and keep at it.

 

[inqy]

Almost 3 months ago, I split from my wife. We've known eachother for around 10years and been in a relationship of more than friends for not much less than that. We were married coming up for 7years.

Sarah (the wife or ex now as I call her) had become very distant over a period of a few weeks. Very harsh and cold to be with, didn't want to talk and didn't want to spend time with me. I knew something was up but I couldn't talk to her as I couldn't get close.

Eventually of course it came that she suddenly did want to talk and she had basically decided that she wanted to split. She said she was pretty sure she didn't love me anymore and wasn't happy. I was knocked over with shock and didn't know how to react.

After working out how I felt, I realised I actually felt just like she did. I'd been oblivious to it, or had accepted things the way they were. I actually started to feel happier knowing I was not with her and that I didn't have to walk on eggshells around her. Life became barable again and I could do so much stuff that I couldn't being married to her.

She quickly moved out (with my help with a loan). I've been spending some quality time with friends and family over the past few months and really appreciated them again.

For me splitting up has been one of the best things for me in my life. I don't know quite how it got this way, we did marry very young (I was 21, she was 19) but we were very happy to begin with. Regardless we became unhappy over time and grew apart.

I've actually met someone and have discovered what it should be like again to be happy. Some people seem to think it was quite a quick thing but personally I feel like I've been alone for a few years now. I said to her brother, that iwas like I said goodbye the the woman I loved 2-3years ago, since then I've been getting over here but still with her. <-- if that makes sense.

Not sure why I'm sharing this but wanted to show that not all splits are necessarily a bad thing. After you have spent some time analysing your relationship and your feelings you may feel a lot different about things.

I've had a real rollercoaster of emotions and moods over the past few months. Still got a lot of financial crap and house moving shit to sort out but I feel I'm getting there and I'm finally happy and hopeful for the future.

Good luck to you G

 

[Kari]

Keep ya head up fella. Just got dumped at the weekend after 7 years together, I'm 5 years older than her, but she's mid 20's so a little older. I've been a right fucking state tbh, never thought we'd split.
After the talks we've had I can see that I've neglected her & the relationship & wasn't really going anywhere. She told me that she loves living with me, absolutely adores me but just cant be with me as we demotivate each other so much into doing nothing except being together. Personally I didn't think that sounded too bad, hehe

I'm still in shock tbh, fuck knows what to do - one thing I do know is that in a year or two I'll look back on this experience as a distant memory.


I'll crack a beer tonight while watching the footy & drink it to Big G in the hope you sort something out. Good luck to you.

 

[Calaen]

I'll crack a beer tonight while watching the footy & drink it to Big G in the hope you sort something out. Good luck to you.

Ill drink to that!!

 

[Trem]

Reply please G even if its just a word, wanna know you are alright mucker.

 

[Aada]

Thanks for this, it's the frame of mind i'm in, we still love one another but she just can't say it at the moment.

It appears to be a catalogue of errors on my part, and instead of addressing them when they cropped up, they all piled up. She was away on holiday for seven days with family, phoned me every day and said she missed me, bought me presents, said how she just wanted to do things with me.

She told me she met a bunch of people her own age there with families, I was so glad she met people to be with. On the final night, she said she was having a farewell dinner (she had to fly home early for an exam resit) with everyone and some of the crew. Then, her sister mentioned (via MSN) that she was out with a couple of guys and some girl.

I got into a jealous rage and started phoning her, couldn't get through to her so sent her jealous inquisitive messages. She said that in our five years, there was no reason to mistrust her, that she was out for dinner with friends and just enjoying her final night on holiday which I (her loving boyfriend) completely destroyed for her. I phoned the next morning and again gave her the Gestapo treatment.

She came home, I met her at the airport, went home and made love, got my presents, spent the night together, hugged one another because it was cold.

The next morning, she told me it was over. She forgives me for the jealous rant, but she says it has gone on too long. She wants her space and independence and she's fed up having to answer to me all the time she goes out, she doesn't want to answer to anyone, doesn't want a boyfriend, didn't meet someone else. She doesn't want to ask my permission and wants to do what she likes, when she likes. She feels like I tell her off all the time, that i sigh or get angry when she gets too drunk, instead of letting her have a good time. She hates my friends, my social group is a lot older (there is a five year age gap, she's turning 21 and me 26) and tend to be happy not going out and sitting in the pub to have a couple of pints. She wanted to go and have a bender or enjoy a fun night dancing, I used to like doing that but now i'm happy to have a quiet one in with a bottle of wine.

These are not all irreversible, I've not treated her with enough respect, or respected her space. She feels that I wanted to live like a single man, but have her at the same time. I've spent a lot on nice clothes, designer belts, home cinema kit etc, yet I told her I couldn't afford to go away on holiday with her and she missed me so much because we couldn't share it together. I had pumped a lot of money into my new flat, but my priorities were fucked up.

I totally took her for granted, and the jealous outrage was just final.

I've begged her to give me another chance, told her that I can change my ways, but at this moment she wants to just part from me. She still loves me, she wouldn't tell me she didn't and still have a lot of feeling. The bad ass approach won't work, she doesn't like/play stupid games like that.

I've sent her a large bouquet of long stem, large head red roses and a wee note to ask her to give it time and think how she feels and that we have so much to lose.

I need a chance to change, I don't want to live without her, she's my best friend.

Seems it is the age difference that has got in the way also.. as someone said you're 5 years older done the whole get pissed as a fart every weekend are just happy going to the local for a few pints.

She is young, full of energy and wants to experiance the things you have and not have to answer to you.

Been there done that myself except i was going out with the woman 5 years older then myself.

I can tell you it got really tired hearing ''why do you have to go out and get drunk every saturday'' my answer was always isn't that what you did at my age?.

It drove a wedge between us and i got fed up and constantly explaining myself to her.

Think about it dude.. if you got back with her now would things be great again? i think not it would still be the same underlying problem.

Give her the space she needs but DO NOT put you're life on hold for someone that may never come back to you.

Enjoy the free time you have do things you like doing.

 

[PLightstar]

Somebody sent me this after my relationship ended last year.

 

[old.user4556]

It's worth pointing out that the double date scenario was not a double date and that one of the men was gay. The "double dateness" came from her sister's total lack of ability to recall events or people accurately. Turns out, my Mrs met up with the two guys and the girl then met up with a bigger crowd (it was a big boat).

I haven't heard from her since I sent the flowers, and i am sorely tempted to phone her but i'll best leave it.

If we got back together, then we could make it work and even better before. Out of every negative comes a positive and an opportunity; it made me realise what a fucking cock (and tight bastard) I was to her emotional well being. She never quizzed me when I went out without her, if she had quizzed me all the time then I would have got pissed off. She trusted me implicitly.

(Matthew 7:12). Do to others as you would have them do to you.

She really doesn't have many friends at all, and all of them have boyfriends; so i'm very interested to see how that angle pans out.

I agree with Ch3ts saying that it's natural to feel jealous and protective, but I never kept my fucking scottish gob shut. Instead of maybe saying "did you have a nice night with your friends?" I say... "did you cheat on me?" - what the fuck was I thinking.

I phoned her last night half cut on the red wine, she seemed quite chirpy to talk to me. I asked if her family got home ok, I told her about two dudes in the pub high fiving and behaving all ghetto, she laughed a little. I told her my cousin wasn't happy that she wasn't coming to her engagement party anymore and who was she going to dance with (her fiancé doesn't dance). I said "you know how much you love dancing with me, it's going to be such a good night" ... she sighed with a pause and said "...I can't..." and then something about she thinks my family now hate her.

I feel the conflict inside you, let go of your hate

I can hear it in her voice, she's torn up inside about this, the conflict of what she's feeling is unbearable to listen to. She's crying about it a lot more than I am. She wants me at her 21st, then told me she doesn't me there in the same phone call? She doesn't know what she wants.

The last time I ended a relationship, I told them I didn't want them around at all - we didn't phone, we didn't cry, we didn't have sex, we didn't say "love you".

I told my ex yesterday morning "if you want me out your life and want this to end and to walk away for good, all you need to do is tell me you don't love me, it's that easy for you - just say it" - she couldn't do it, she won't do it.

Time is a healer.

 

[old.user4556]

Can I say, I went out on Friday and snogged a really cute 18 year old rock chick to Prince's Purple Rain.

It was nice, not done it in five years, nice to do it again. Bored after that, wanted my mrs back because I love her.

 

[Calaen]

Dude no more drunking conversations, I believe you will sort out you're differences and all will be well.

 

[Paradroid]

You're both really young and have your whole lives ahead of you. You'll both look back and laugh at this in years to come (admittedly with different partners).


If you consider adulthood to officially start at 18, she's only got 3 years experience, you've got 8!

PS If she's 21 that meant she was 16 when you first started dating?! You both need to spread it around a bit and get some life experiences under your belt (literally). Plenty more fish in the sea etc (but we'll need to change that metaphor once the fish stocks deplete)....


chorus
"Always look on the bright side of life...
..."

 

[tris-]

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten

 

[old.Tohtori]

chorus
"Always look on the bright side of life...
..."

But, from the same song...

"Life is full of sh*t, when you look at it"

 

[TdC]

Big G,

if I may say from my own personal experience, that I think you're rushing head long. I *know* that you want to talk to her and be with her, possibly even more so now than before, but if I were you I'd try the following:

-no electronic conversations (texts, msn, emails) because they tend to go hopelessly wrong as one reads too much into it. In fact, no conversations at all for a little while. (this is very hard. my ex and i would see each other online in, (spits) msn and she's almost always try to draw me into deep conversations because it's "safe" to do that in such a vile medium as msn, and causing me to rage impotently when I read her as being deliberately fucking thick making me explain my feelings over and over and over again and then responding to 6 paragraphs with an "ok", making me swear to her that I would never enter into such a conversation with her again unless it was face to face)
-you're a bright lad and seem to know exactly what you've been doing "wrong". This is good, but won't make her go "oh, ok then" if you tell her. You have to show you've grown and, tbh, if you can't show her you can show somebody else. (easy for me to say, I know). This also means that so-called revenge is a futile and petty excersise. Imo you should be above it. Live your life and be glad of it. A time will come that, even if you hate your ex's guts forever, you will be glad that she is living her life just like you are, and you will smile at the good memories you share. Maybe not right now though

-I'll shut up now, as when it happened to me all life seemed harsh and people telling me what I should do pissed me off (even though I knew they meant well)

 

[old.user4556]

It is absolutely over.

She finally said she doesn't love me, it's finally done.

 

[Wij]

At least you know.

Enjoy some quality single time. b33r and pr0n. Don't go for a quick empty in some slapper at a club. It will make you feel worse. Enjoy sitting about in your pants, playing games and farting for a few weeks. Have a few quiet b33rs with your mates.

I can PM u a Stella if u like

 

[throdgrain]

Sorry to hear that G

 

[Tom]

Never mind. This'll cheer you up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG_e1AqinEw

 

[Wij]

Never mind. This'll cheer you up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG_e1AqinEw

hehe - I feel so sad laughing at that, but I did anyway

 

[old.user4556]

Well now that i know it's over I can admit to myself that it's me that never had the balls to end it ages ago.

I only stayed with her on the following reasons:

1) regular, easy sex
2) occasional blowjobs
3) she was 6' tall and gorgeous

On paper and to look at, she was a quality bird. But there is a saying that "no matter how gorgeous she is, someone, somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit". Well, that was me.

I was fed up of:

• her constant obsession with fake tan
• her constant farting and nose picking
• her absolute stubborness with friends and family
• her constant trash talking and two faced attitude towards her friends and my friends and family. She even trash talked people in the street she never knew.
• her constant bitching and back stabbing
• her total disregard for other people's feelings and saying nasty things whenever she felt like it
• her lack of acceptance that I didn't want to go on holiday, because of the above traits
• her attitude of "you'll never get someone as good looking as me", proven wrong the very next night after she dumped me - fuck, it was easy, you daft bitch!
• the fact she's generally not very bright and has flunked so many things in second year of uni, good luck when it really gets hard!
• the fact she can't spell some simple words
• her superficial obsession with clothes and how people looked

I know it sounds like i'm bitter, but i'm now seeing it without being clouded by emotion.

For valentines day, we simply got one another a card. Meanwhile, I was sending presents to another girl in my office along with flirty emails. I was like a monkey, i didn't want to let go of one branch until i had a firm hold on another.

She must have detected my lack of interest in her way back then, and it's my behaivour or jealousy that stems from the fact that i don't trust myself because of the way i've been feeling. My ego has taken the biggest bruising, I like regular sex and now that's taken a back seat.

Upwards and onwards, my only beef is that most people in my office are double my age so meeting someone at work is a no-go. I've joined Match.com, so we'll see what happens from there.

I'll post up my profile once it's activated so you can all laugh.

 

[TdC]

Tbh I'd just take it easy for a while mate, really I would. Enjoy yourself, and like Wij said: Enjoy sitting about in your pants, playing games and farting for a few weeks. Have a few quiet b33rs with your mates.

Tbh I can group your points into two distinct categories, being she's young and she's a girl (sorry ladies, based purely on my own experiences). Relax dude, once the strong emotions have played themselves out you will feel better. Really you will.

 

[Wij]

Women do love to bitch. Your chances of finding a bird who thinks like a bloke are slim to 'fat, hairy troll'.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Don't get me wrong...but you sounded like an utter bastard.

Needy, jealous, cheating(in that flirty way with office girl as one) and not appreciating...i'm curious how you could keep a girl for that long.

Then i read her traits, ofcourse with a pinch of salt since it IS your view on it and notice..hell...you're a match made in heaven.

But the main thing is, next time you go into a relly, you'll know about these wanker traits and learn how to do things better, with a better woman for you.

 

[Peridon]

Play video games, order pizza and get out with your mates!