Any desktop publishing / graphic design bods on here?

[cHodAX]

A close female friend has been dropped in it at short notice by a bloke who was going to design a couple of flyers plus a business card for the salsa dancing events that she runs for her dance school. So I got the call this afternoon begging for help and I explained that I am a hardware guy, I haven't touched DTP software for at least 15 years and I am not even sure where to start. So, basically I need some advice on where to start with software etc, maybe even someone to critique the work. There is no money in this for me, the school is a non-profit gig and they can't really afford to stump up for design costs. Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

 

[ECA]

If you're not banging her, tell her you don't have the software to do it.

 

[cHodAX]

If you're not banging her, tell her you don't have the software to do it.

<cough> Given half a chance I would and will.

 

[Wij]

<cough> Given half a chance I would and will.

Ask for "payment" up front.
























(or even round the back)

 

[cHodAX]

Ask for "payment" up front.




(or even round the back)

Lol mate, if I thought that was on the cards I would pay a professional to do the job and claim the glory plus my 'prize'!

 

[Wij]

Lol mate, if I thought that was on the cards I would pay a professional to do the job and claim the glory plus my 'prize'!

Pay a professional, show her how good the design is, then withhold it until at least tops and fingers.

It's the classy thing to do.

 

[cHodAX]

Pay a professional, show her how good the design is, then withhold it until at least tops and fingers.

It's the classy thing to do.

You are not fucking helping ballbag! I was trying to concentrate on getting the work done but all I can see in my head now is boobs and vag! Twats!

 

[Wij]

You are not fucking helping ballbag! I was trying to concentrate on getting the work done but all I can see in my head now is boobs and vag! Twats!

Well you've got the basics of a cool design right there.

 

[cHodAX]

Well you've got the basics of a cool design right there.

For my epic porn debut perhaps, I am not sure the teenagers or their mums would appreciate a big old fanny plastered across the flyers though.

Come on ballmunchers, what software should I be looking at?

 

[ST^]

If you have no design skills, you may aswell do it in Microsoft Word using clipart and wordart. That may come across as a joke, but seriously, no point in trying to use proper software if you don't know how.

BTW: as the go-to guy for design help and tech support, I can guarantee that this is not going to get you laid.

 

[Wij]

BTW: as the go-to guy for design help and tech support, I can guarantee that this is not going to get you laid.

You obviously don't lace the sample cards with chloroform. Noob.

 

[eksdee]

< Heading in bold >
< Strap line in smaller font size>
< Picture >
< Smaller font size again with details >
< Slightly bigger font size and bold again with contact details >

Center it all, use Helvetica. Bam, you're a graphic designer.

 

[ECA]

BTW: as the go-to guy for design help and tech support, I can guarantee that this is not going to get you laid.

That's because you actually help, if they're not willing to beg and give favours then don't do shit

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well this is kind of my area, but i'll be damned if i'm going to work for no booty

But if you get some done, i can ofcourse give some points/help with it.

EAsy way for a no-brainer is to check out ze internets and copy other peoples work, especially since it's pro-U2.

 

[Aoami]

if there is no rush to do it (read a week or so) i don't mind doing it for free

 

[cHodAX]

Ok have 'found' some Salsa clipart and a few nice vectors. What software should I be looking at using? Stuff with postscript support I guess but as I said it has been almost 20 years and I am lost.

 

[old.Osy]

Photoshop, damn it...

 

[MYstIC G]

If this is a no-budget deal you could do worse than using Scribus. It's a free dtp program. The free fonts on myfonts.com can also help you do something a bit less "ohhhh, verdana, win!" if you want.

PS: pics or gtfo!

 

[ST^]

Photoshop, damn it...

Illustrator ¬_¬

 

[eksdee]

InDesign :C

 

[ST^]

InDesign is for laying shit out, not so much for creating artwork.

 

[cHodAX]

If this is a no-budget deal you could do worse than using Scribus. It's a free dtp program. The free fonts on myfonts.com can also help you do something a bit less "ohhhh, verdana, win!" if you want.

PS: pics or gtfo!

Using Inkscape but got Scribus installed as well. Will post some bits when they are not totally appalling

 

[cHodAX]

InDesign is for laying shit out, not so much for creating artwork.

I can't create much tbh so it is going to be free vectors, ripping other peoples shit and generally being a twat.

 

[cHodAX]

Wow, alignment and layout is such an arse, no wonder the people who do this for a living go postal and murder baby goats.

Very w.i.p.

 

[eksdee]

Chod, nice job!

InDesign is for laying shit out, not so much for creating artwork.

I know . I'm a graphic designer by trade, but you can't really do any job properly without all the tools was more so my point. I need to get more into Illustrator though, I hardly use it at my day job as we mainly do pretty boring display ads (I work for a local newspaper).

 

[cHodAX]

New found admiration for the graphics bods, this stuff is fucking time consuming and tricky.

 

[eksdee]

It's like sex, at first there's loads of bells and whistles that you think you need to fiddle with and by the time you know your way around it you can just about knock a decent performance out in 4 minutes.

 

[cHodAX]

It's like sex, at first there's loads of bells and whistles that you think you need to fiddle with and by the time you know your way around it you can just about knock a decent performance out in 4 minutes.

90 seconds, a packet of biscuits and a good nights sleep for me matey.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Photoshop, damn it...

Chalk another vote for that, othing much you can't do with it.

Well...having sex with it is a bit iffy....*thinks for a while*

Anyhoo! Looks like it's coming along nicely, though i'd kill the cherry topped whipcream cake in the background, and the orange pissline around the people having se..dancing.

It's mainly about the text though, no one REALLY looks at the art that much so don't focus on it.

Keep it unannoying and fitting for the text(so you get all the info with a glance) mand you don't have to squint your eyes until everything looks like fruitloops to read it.

Business cards are boring as hell though as you can't really tuch them up much because the "one glance info" is even more critical.

 

[eksdee]

Chalk another vote for that, othing much you can't do with it.

Just to be annoying, though I do know what you're getting at and Photoshop is a very versatile tool, there is a LOT you can't do with Photoshop. Every time I see people that I work with start laying out text on adverts using Photoshop I shudder.