Another Opipion Divider.

[old.Tohtori]

"Arguments are a part of a relationship."

or

"A relationship without fighting isn't a real relationship."

And so forth, the undelining notion being that arguments, fighting etc are part of a relationship.

There are people who think so, and people who don't.

I don't personally think it's an expected part. You shouldn't have to argue if you're living with the person you're most connected to. If there's too much of it(i'm talking weekly here), just let eachother go and find a better suitable person.

Always thought it's a bit of a cop-out to fight, kinda like saying "well it's a part of a friendship to punch them every now and then."

By arguing i do also mean those "lovers quarrels".

"You have to work to make the relationship work", bull

 

[Sparx]

i dont think its unhealthy to argue, i like being with a girl who will challenge my thoughts and decisions and not just agree with everything i say

 

[old.Tohtori]

i dont think its unhealthy to argue, i like being with a girl who will challenge my thoughts and decisions and not just agree with everything i say

Difference in discussing and arguing, have to note that.

I mean silent treatment etc arguments.

 

[Sparx]

i still dont think arguing is wrong, i am quite strong minded especially if i think/know im right i wont budge. So arguing will happen

 

[old.Tohtori]

i still dont think arguing is wrong, i am quite strong minded especially if i think/know im right i wont budge. So arguing will happen

No one is claiming it's wrong, if you're not doing it weekly as i said, then you should have a re-consider.

I was saying that it shouldn't be expected as it often is or somehow dismissed because you're in a relationship.

Two people can be friends for a long time, yet suddenly when they become a couple, arguing is expected? No way.

 

[Olgaline]

I find it quite simple really,

there need not bee anything wrong with a relationship beacuse you argue, but at the same time, you need not argue to have a good relationship.

it's all down to personalities and preference. this holds true to any type of human relation, we all ahve different personalities, and we interact on different levels, what right for Mr.A might be Horrid for Mr. H and vice versa.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I find it quite simple really,*snip* H and vice versa.

I'd like to add to that, even if it IS your relationship, if you choose to live in a relationship where you argue, you have NO right to complain

 

[Olgaline]

at home we do both, but mostly, we prefere to discuss rather than jump into random arguements. So I guess basicly "at least with us" it's a progrssive thing.

1. Suggestion 2. discussion 3. Argument 4. Indoor UFO's

now depending on the issue, it might stop at 1 "if we instantly agree, we might and most often end at 2, but ever so seldomly "max once a year" reach level 3...we have yet to enter into level 4 but, then again we've only been at it for 3½ years

 

[TdC]

I think arguments should happen. Imo nobody is so completely in phase with another that they think the same things at all times. I'll accept any rational argument, but since my major breakup I like to entertain the thought that next time I hear irrational arguments I will be taking the piss to new extremes :/

 

[Vasconcelos]

And here was me thinking this was a thread about political, social, economics world issues

 

[Aoami]

i dont have an opipion on the matter

 

[Calaen]

No one is claiming it's wrong, if you're not doing it weekly as i said, then you should have a re-consider.

I was saying that it shouldn't be expected as it often is or somehow dismissed because you're in a relationship.

Two people can be friends for a long time, yet suddenly when they become a couple, arguing is expected? No way.

Being Friends and being in a relationship are to totally different things, there is a massive change in what is expected from a friend and what is desired from a partner.

I and my wife argue/bicker/discuss atleast once a week. It is a fall out of being married, both working full time and each having our own interests as well as possibly a child, bills to pay families and friends to please. Daily stresses take their tll which is why I take great pleasure in making my relationship with my wife work, while doing everything else and being happy.

I agree with Sparx, I prefer to be challenged by my wife when making decisions instead of someone who just agrees with me for years then decides they have been bullied or mistreated or some bollocks and then up and leave without any chance of rectifying the situation.

 

[soze]

I think its fine when there is a genuine difference of opinion and i would rather have that than a pleb who just nods and agrees. But when it is over every subject you have a problem imo.

 

[Calaen]

I think its fine when there is a genuine difference of opinion and i would rather have that than a pleb who just nods and agrees. But when it is over every subject you have a problem imo.

I doubt there are truly any long term relatioships where all the do is argue over everything though.

 

[Bahumat]

I argue with all you fuckers on here and none of you fucked off yet

 

[old.Tohtori]

Being Friends and being in a relationship are to totally different things, there is a massive change in what is expected from a friend and what is desired from a partner.

I and my wife argue/bicker/discuss atleast once a week. It is a fall out of being married, both working full time and each having our own interests as well as possibly a child, bills to pay families and friends to please. Daily stresses take their tll which is why I take great pleasure in making my relationship with my wife work, while doing everything else and being happy.

I agree with Sparx, I prefer to be challenged by my wife when making decisions instead of someone who just agrees with me for years then decides they have been bullied or mistreated or some bollocks and then up and leave without any chance of rectifying the situation.

I don't agree with that at all. That's exactly what i posted about, excuses to having arguments. If you're in a good relationship, you don't have to work for it, it works.

There's something profoundly wrong in wanting to argue though and i'm betting you two are confusing, STILL, discussing and arguing.

You don't have to agree to have a discussion and you don't have to agree to not argue.

Discussion is expected.

If you want to argue about things, it's not expected and it's not a working relationship.

I doubt there are truly any long term relatioships where all the do is argue over everything though.

Well ain't that a rose colored eyecover you got there.

 

[Amphrax]

I argue with all you fuckers on here and none of you fucked off yet

stfu bitch and start rp pl'ing me!!!

 

[Bahumat]

stfu bitch and start rp pl'ing me!!!

Haha I would, but Diabloman is on so i'm not allowed to group!
*cracks whip*

 

[Lamp]

Arguments are part & parcel of any healthy relationship

 

[Calaen]

I don't agree with that at all. That's exactly what i posted about, excuses to having arguments. If you're in a good relationship, you don't have to work for it, it works.

There's something profoundly wrong in wanting to argue though and i'm betting you two are confusing, STILL, discussing and arguing.

You don't have to agree to have a discussion and you don't have to agree to not argue.

Discussion is expected.

If you want to argue about things, it's not expected and it's not a working relationship.



Well ain't that a rose colored eyecover you got there.

Arguments are also expected. Don't pretend the are not. The fact your still probably single and stroking yourself for pleasure most nights a week means you don't understand relationships any better than you understand anything else.

In life you have problems, these lead to arguments. People that argue everyday should not be together. However something that some might consider an argument, can be passed off as a nothing event by others.

So there is no definitive answer, at all, ever.

As for the rose covered glasses, I aint the one sitting with my whole planned minute for minute.

Finally, if you don't want posts from real people who actually experience things themselves, don't create posts. Stop pretending that something that is truely perfect exists because it don't, you just gotta make the best with what you have. And in any relationship that means you have to argue at some point regardless of how big or small it might be, and guess what you can still be happy, yup thats right even you, although that usually comes about when your removing the love beads from your arse before you squirt all over your keyboard.. Each to their own I suppose.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Arguments are also expected. Don't pretend the are not. The fact your still probably single and stroking yourself for pleasure most nights a week means you don't understand relationships any better than you understand anything else.

Well, didn't have to read else as you took the same old position again; "You don't know."

Oh gee, i guess i've never had relationships :lol:

As for the rose covered glasses, I aint the one sitting with my whole planned minute for minute.

Stop pretending that something that is truely perfect exists because it don't, you just gotta make the best with what you have.

I don't plan my life minute for minute, i live it as i go along. I don't plan, once more you're wrong.

Also, you're one miserable f*ck for thinking like that. Ofcourse you and your woman fight..you settled.

 

[Calaen]

Well, didn't have to read else as you took the same old position again; "You don't know."

Oh gee, i guess i've never had relationships :lol:



I don't plan my life minute for minute, i live it as i go along. I don't plan, once more you're wrong.

Also, you're one miserable f*ck for thinking like that. Ofcourse you and your woman fight..you settled.

I don't recall saying fight ever, as I also explained above one persons argument is anothers minor disagreement, so stop confusing yourself.

I am sure you have been in a relationship, however I don't have to think to hard to about it to grasp why they ran for hills.

It's fact you don't know, you're not married... Have you actually lived with someone before? Fucking some bird you don't live with for a few months don't really constitute a real relationship. Which is why you should never engage or marry someone you have never lived with, because until you have you can't even begin to comprehend the problems that arise from sharing a living space.

I don't think you make your decisions in advance it's fact you keep telling me.

 

[Lamp]

Mrs Lamp: you need new underwear
Lamp: STFU. My pants are fine
Mrs Lamp: They look old
Lamp: So do you, but do you see me taking you to M&S for a refund ?

 

[TdC]

lamp is clearly da man. Only thing I missed was "and get me another beer, woman!" at the end to make it completely perfect

 

[soze]

My last fight was about what alcohol to bring to a party as im apparently too generous. It was settled by me creating a scene like a 5 year old girl till i got my way. I though i had one it was only later i found out i lost

 

[old.Tohtori]

I am sure you have been in a relationship, however I don't have to think to hard to about it to grasp why they ran for hills.

Comments like this really don't make me want to discuss anything with you.

 

[Jeremiah]

Can't help feel this has just went like most threads:

Toht: State discussion subject.
Someone with a qualified view: Gives View.
Toht: Disagrees with view. Presents utopian view and claims it is how it works in real world.
Someone with a qualified view: Questions evidence for this view. Gives some examples where said view does not hold.
Toht: Claims examples are not valid. Reiterates utopian view. States view in a manner which suggest all other views are of less value.
Thread Readers: Wonder why Toht posts a discussion topic when continually shows no real interest in listening to other views, other than to discredit them.

*sigh*

 

[Calaen]

Comments like this really don't make me want to discuss anything with you.

As the above poster has so clearly put, you don't want to discuss anything, people in this thread, that are in long term meaningful relationships are telling you that arguing comes as part of the package and it can be a very healthy thing. Yet you are telling us otherwise.

Don't pretend you create any posts for a real discussion.

 

[Huntingtons]

Discussion is expected.

so, arguing isnt, but discussing is?

If you want to argue about things, it's not expected and it's not a working relationship.

and how do you know arguing isnt a part of a working relationship?

you seem to presume too much for your theory to work.

 

[kiliarien]

Can't help feel this has just went like most threads:

Toht: State discussion subject.
Someone with a qualified view: Gives View.
Toht: Disagrees with view. Presents utopian view and claims it is how it works in real world.
Someone with a qualified view: Questions evidence for this view. Gives some examples where said view does not hold.
Toht: Claims examples are not valid. Reiterates utopian view. States view in a manner which suggest all other views are of less value.
Thread Readers: Wonder why Toht posts a discussion topic when continually shows no real interest in listening to other views, other than to discredit them.

*sigh*

I almost posted on this earlier, but as you noted, I knew the Toht reply I would get. But I'll change one bit:

Can't help feel this has just went like most threads:

Toht: State discussion subject.
Someone with a qualified view: Gives View.
Toht: Disagrees with view. Presents utopian view and claims it is how it works in his world, which must apply to everyone in the real world.
Someone with a qualified view: Questions evidence for this view. Gives some examples where said view does not hold.
Toht: Claims examples are not valid. Reiterates utopian view. States view in a manner which suggest all other views are of less value.
Thread Readers: Wonder why Toht posts a discussion topic when continually shows no real interest in listening to other views, other than to discredit them.

*sigh*

I'll have a pop at this discussion myself though. I don't believe anybody wants arguments in relationships, but they do occur when you feel strongly about things, and sometimes you both feel strongly about something but from different perspectives. HOWEVER, on that point if you can't resolve it, then you are in trouble.

You did say Toht that people should never want to argue. I agree with that, if you want to argue with your other half then pack it up now imo.

My wife is both my love interest and easily my best friend (and by that notion I can tell her anything, and I discuss what's most important to me with her). She's also the Mother of my child which is even better but let's not thread hijack that, because your views on that were quite robust (and some might say followed the process Jeremiah set out above).