Advice Needed...Bugz your expert advice needed!

Gamah

Banned
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,042
Hello,

Being a computer game addict and not leaving my room much for the past 10 years I have developed a skin problem of being paler than a albino locked in a basement, however, more importantly I have let alone seen a women yet *s******s* touched ones boobies.

Now, I understand this forum is a place of sexual masters including Bugz, I need advice, if I were to talk to a 'women' what would happen..and how would I go about asking her for sex. Being a virgin I often masterbate over the Littlewoods catalogue underwear section, however the time has come (32 now) where I think I should start trying to see a real pair of boobies.

So lets say I am successful and a lady comes back to my basement, shall I show her my collection of trolls and orks or my top trumps collection to impress her into bed?

Lets say I manage to get the lady to be willing for me to see her lady bits, what do I do? Will my willy become erect and do I put it in her right away and then what do I do? Bugz as a man of many years of sexual experience I would be interested to have your input here.

I read once that I should wear a condom when copulating with a fine young lady? What do I do with this is it easy to put on? I would like to know what sexual moves to make..shall I pat her belly as I lie on top of her..hard but I am sure I can manage it.

Please, Please help me!
 

Lethul

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
8,433
i wonder how many times it will come out that bugz has a gf in this thread!
and dont worry! nobody under 40 has really had sex. its all lies!
 

Marc

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 28, 2003
Messages
11,094
i wonder how many times it will come out that bugz has a gf in this thread!
and dont worry! nobody under 40 has really had sex. its all lies!

He has a girlfriend? Did anyone else know this?
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
What's a girl? =( .jpg?

antelope.jpg
 

Overdriven

Dumpster Fire of The South
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
12,638

OMG! I knew it! Where can I buy one of these?! I can buy one yeah? =( Do I have to preform any sexual activities? =(.. They look SO much sexier than they do when you hear of them!
 

Gamah

Banned
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,042

Imgormiel

Part of the furniture
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Apr 18, 2004
Messages
4,372
Server not found

Firefox can't find the server at www.stuffedgazellegirlsforrent.com.

* Check the address for typing errors such as
ww.example.com instead of
www.example.com

* If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer's network
connection.

* If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure
that Firefox is permitted to access the Web.


:( :


Damn, I forgot to pay the subs again :(
 

Nate

FH is my second home
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
7,454
Server not found

Firefox can't find the server at www.stuffedgazellegirlsforrent.com.

* Check the address for typing errors such as
ww.example.com instead of
www.example.com

* If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer's network
connection.

* If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure
that Firefox is permitted to access the Web.


:( :

Hold on that was a real error :( I know this because I've memorised every error there is, it helps me pick up the ladies! No leet skeels editing it to say funny not found? :( Where is the real gamamamah ?
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
its an antelope not a gazelle :eek:
 

Imgormiel

Part of the furniture
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
4,372
Hold on that was a real error :( I know this because I've memorised every error there is, it helps me pick up the ladies! No leet skeels editing it to say funny not found? :( Where is the real gamamamah ?

In desperate times, men do desperate things.... :p
 

Infanity

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Sep 22, 2004
Messages
3,774
Tee Hee gamgams ;d

I really do find it funny though how people on forums bring up the same thing over and over, more so when they talk about the same person over and over how great they are what they mean etc :p

So why not use that time to tell them or something ;d?

OR IS IT NOT REAL!?
 

fettoken

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Jul 18, 2004
Messages
9,640
Tee Hee gamgams ;d

I really do find it funny though how people on forums bring up the same thing over and over, more so when they talk about the same person over and over how great they are what they mean etc :p

So why not use that time to tell them or something ;d?

OR IS IT NOT REAL!?

Yeah, that´s a reappearing topic. Some people needs to be (i correct, think they are) the center of all attention.
 

Gamah

Banned
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,042
Some people need lifes Gamah - you are one of them :)

What a life to you then? Going round banging your chav bint of a girlfriend and working in a news agents making a sex or love thread every few weeks?

I'll think i'll stick with what I have :p
 

Bugz

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
7,297
What a life to you then? Going round banging your chav bint of a girlfriend and working in a news agents making a sex or love thread every few weeks?

I'll think i'll stick with what I have :p

I live my life at the moment to get A's and A*'s at GCSE and become a rich lil fag. Say hi to 2 A*'s and a A for 3 GCSEs taken a year early :)
 

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