4 bloody pages (I aer teh back innit)

[Sar]

Thanks guys, it does mean a lot. Seriously.

Well I'm back again for the night - and she is being kept in until Weds at least, which is the earliest that they'll be able to do a CAT and full body scan.

So I've come back home as she's in a ward now, and they won't let me stay the night with her.

The ECG came back normal - so now they think it's NOT a blood clot (thank almighty fuck), but they don't know now what the problem is precisely.

I've been right all along with her so far - I told her it wasn't wind, she said it was. 1-0

I told her it looked likely that she would be kept in until Weds, she said she'd be out today. 2-0

I just hope I'm not right about the diagnosis - (lung) cancer. She lost her grandmother to terminal cancer 2 weeks ago, so I'm really scared that this might be the reason. If it is that, I don't know if I'll be able to cope. And if I lose her, I know I'll have a complete nervous breakdown. I love this woman so fucking much it hurts, she is my life, and if she were to die then I honestly don't see how I could go on living without her.

I am so fucking worried atm, and I'm completely exhausted - I only got 2 hours sleep last night then woke up crying because I was so worried, and my mind was racing with all the worst case scenarios.

I'm typing this more or less to try and get my thoughts into order, cos I'm pretty buggered all round atm. I have a cat to feed and put to "bed", then I'll be trying to do the same myself.

 

[Damini]

Sar, it's natural that you do all the running into dark places in your mind trying to work what could be wrong, but it's incredibly unlikely in someone of her age, even if she chain smoked while chewing asbestos, to get lung cancer. I know you have to bear every possibility in mind, but there are one hundred and one things it's more likely to be than lung cancer, and so please try not to wreck your own health through worry about hers - I'm sure Mrs Sar would say exactly the same thing. I had a leukemia scare a few years back, and I know how your mind trawls the worst case scenarios, but I stand as evidence that not every nervous worry is founded. As her partner, you act as the lightning rod for all paranoia, putting on the reassuring face whilst secretly plotting for the end of the world, I know, and nothing we say will change that, but I just wanted to give a little ray of hope regardless.

What ever happens, you have a constant undiminishing supply of fluffles here, or distractions, depending on whatever takes your mood.

 

[Shovel]

Sar - best wishes to you and Mrs Sar. Everything Damini says is true, however limited the effect may be when you're actually feeling it all. Stay strong matey, you're clearly doing a wonderful job in the husband department and as Damini says, you've got a lot of friendly complete strangers with mixes of good/insane advice to help/amuse you at all times.

Best of luck matey.

 

[Mofo8]

Hope your missus is alright Sar. When everything's back to normal, give me a PM and I'll do you some more Photoshop shit for the tutorial page. Take care.

 

[Jupitus]

What ever happens, you have a constant undiminishing supply of fluffles here, or distractions, depending on whatever takes your mood.

Be strong, Sar, we're with you.

 

[TdC]

my best to you and Mrs Sar matey! all things will be ok, I'm sure of it. I know it's hard (I had the same when my mum was in hospital) but try to get your rest in mate. You're *allowed* to sleep, so do it!

 

[Sar]

Thanks guys.

Nothing yet - nothing for the past 2 days. The doctors can't be bothered to come near her and let us know wtf is going on because it's a Bank Holiday and they're supposedly on holiday, which is bollocks because doctors have been round everyone else in her ward and seen them.



She's meant to be getting her CAT scan tomorrow - but we haven't been told yet.

I hope to god she's ok, and that she can come home tomorrow - I've got to go back to work so I won't be able to go see her until after 4pm. :<

 

[Sar]

Well, nothing from the doctor for 2 days, then today he finally comes round.

He said her bloodwork has come back normal, so now he thinks it's a viral infection that's been causing her pains. Also her breathing problems - today she could hardly breathe and they had to cart in the oxygen and put her on it two or three times.

Hopefully though she might be home tomorrow.

 

[Damini]

Really glad to hear that

 

[Wij]

Woot. Go Mrs Sar ! We're all rooting for a quick recovery

 

[TdC]

damn matey, give my best to Mrs. Sar!

I know all about bugs in the respiratory track: I've been regularly stricken since childhood till it petered out at about 26.... I'm sure the docs will get off their arses and smite the virus for 6 soonest!!

 

[Wij]

I know all about bugs in the respiratory track

That's different. You have a habit of deep-throating tramps. Not surprising then is it ?

 

[TdC]

it's easy to cough up a cockroach though

 

[Sar]

it's easy to cough up a cock though

Well the doctor came round again today - no scan today

But!

She is "scheduled" to get it at 10:30am tomorrow - and if that's clear then she'll be allowed to come home.



About damn time - This house has been very quiet without her.


Thanks for all your support and kind words over the past several days - they've been much appreciated.