Zompocalypse!!!!1!!!12!!!

[Will]

tris : Ok, I'll let you go to Tescos. I'll even let the dog, who I've renamed Hambo, come with you. When you pull up in the Tescos car park, its a mess of burnt out cars and half-eaten dead bodies. The Tescos itself appears unoccupied.

Jup : You are facing one smart zombie, since he managed to stop and bus, and open his bulletproof compartment. The shuffling up the stairs wasn't him, but the first of several zombies he sent up after opening the doors. You do manage to cave its skull in, and the body partially blocks the stairs, buying you some time.

 

[Jeros]

After eating my breakfast of warm spam (thank god the gas is still on), i start to consider my escape, the number of zombies seems to have increased in the night and i pace up and down before deciding the only course of action is to take a chance. I make my preperations.

I remove the baricades on the front and back door and open the doors, i jump up and down and lead the zombies up the stairs and to the top of the house, before climbing down a makeshift rope-of-matteresscovers-and-jumpers out of the top window, i make for the fields, clutching my shotgun, sabre, blunderbus-cum cudgel and my five shells

the sixth shell is sitting on the heating element in the kettle in the kitchen

zombies cant smell gas.....

as i bound over the fields the house explodes behind me reducing 17 zombies to small piles of smoldering flesh, i say "renaimate that basterds" remebering that im NOT actully in a low budget 70s zombie film i decided to cut the one liners and consider heading to the nearby tescos fors supplies, but as lots of people go to tescos it will no doubt be overun, the town centre would be a no no, i start walking along the train tracks heading out of central york....

 

[Will]

Jeros : The kills aren't confirmed, I'm afraid to say. Nice plan though, you do manage to make a good escape. You've got to a rail tunnel, are you going to go through, or backtrack until you get to a place you can get back up out of the cutting?

 

[PLightstar]

I live in an old Victorian heavy stone building (the tallest building in Clevedon) on a steep hill.

I wake up and look out the window and look across the valley I see random fires in parts of town and no traffic on the roads, I go across the landing to my flat mates room and he is looking at shuffling undead bodies with his telescope he says there is a zombie trying to get up the stairs but they are to steep for his body. He says its been like this for hours, we realise that we need a plan of action the landline doesn't seem to be working. We have enough food to last about a month as did my monthly 'big shop' at ASDA a few days before. We go downstairs to check on our flatmate but shes not there, I think she stayed over at her BF's

 

[Cyradix]

Cyradix : A bit of cultural confusion over what a lollipop lady is, but I'll let it slide. You make it to the post office. Due to cutbacks, they have replaced the firearms with stout brooms, but you are safe inside for now. Not a whole of of food inside.

Doh... googled it now. We don't have those over here

Right....
In order to mimic to movements of the zombies I grab an iPod, put on some slow new wave music and "dance" my way to the nearest grocery store.

 

[Dukat]

ok, I'm at london, it took me much longer to arrive than I expected because I had to stop to look in every mirror I passed on the way! this includes all three of the mirrors in each of the cars that had crashed due to zombification of the driver! luckily I brought spare batteries for my mp3 player, so I only need to find a good supply of john smiths now and i'm all set!

Now, Where are the zombies!??!

 

[Jeros]

Zombies cant see in the dark surely

i press on into the tunnel, the tunnel is wide and damp, there is a huge space between each of the walls.

i am reminded of my ex

 

[Rubric]

Rubric : Are you going out for a walk down to Blockbuster?

I have a lovefilm.com subscription but it doesn't look like the postmans coming today, so i guess i'm gonna have to.

 

[Calaen]

Calaen : You have a meat hook, baseball bat, and axe...under your bed? 0_o

Hawkwind : Unfortunately, the people manning the weapons lab are blasting anything approaching with the aforementioned BFG. Blam!!!!
Status : Deceased
Kills : 0

Jeros : Just a mob banging at the door. You didn't sleep too well.

As a matter of fact I do I will always be ready with something to use should someone break into my house.

After enjoying a filling meal of cold beans, I instruct the wife to try and get some sleep while I stay guard.

 

[Guest]

having been caught and turned into a zombie by the hoard, a nice scientist found me for experimentation and attached a neural brian enhancer to my head, enabling me to thwart the zombie brain activity.

I am now able to walk through the zombie hoards unnoticed as i still have the zombie swagger, i go home to the scientists lab every evening for my "flesh food" (TM) (patent pending) that he keeps in the flesh food freezer (his previous experients were not as successful as the one he performed on me so he has lots of nice flesh).

 

[tris-]

tris : Ok, I'll let you go to Tescos. I'll even let the dog, who I've renamed Hambo, come with you. When you pull up in the Tescos car park, its a mess of burnt out cars and half-eaten dead bodies. The Tescos itself appears unoccupied.

I send out Hambo on a reccy mission to sniff out any movement, as it only appears empty, but these smart ass zombies could be playing hide n seek.

Hambo returns unscratched and does not signal that there is anything out there. i lock my car and I take a look around the cars and dead bodies to see if i can find anything of value. money is no good now so i dont bother stealing any. on one chav i did find a flick knife, i also found a bottle of 100% proof rum and a zippo lighter.

i think ill take a trolley for this trip, my thinking is i can ram down zombies but also stock up propley on food and drink.

the doors to the shop are unlocked, and one of those automatic dealys. i head inside, hambo at my side.

 

[Nate]

I'm at home in a village a bit North of Colchester, I get my steel softball bat, my SLR camera, machete, butchers blade, brothers Samurai sword, diet book, rucksack, food from the fridge, Ipod, mobile with gps, flame thrower type can I saw in the garage a few weeks ago and take my two dogs for a walk to kill people(I..I mean Zombies) I don't like and take pictures . First stop, neighbours.

 

[haarewin]

Having slept through most of this with a cold, I woke up today feeling much better. Switching on the news I grow very concerned - we don't do our weekly shop until fridays, there is half a loaf of bread left, and enough milk for one mug of tea while I consider my plan with some toast.
No-one is at home and the roads that I can see from all the house windows are completely empty, for now. So I ring my Mum and brother to make sure they are ok, and neither of them answer. Luckily though, Mum caught the bus this morning and left the car keys (time to learn to drive!), and I have a snooker cue and an umbrella I can improvise as weapons. There are 2 bottles of cola and some leftover chocolate from xmas in the cupboard under the stairs, so I gather things together and get in the car.

 

[Chilly]

Buy a few flamethrowers, machine guns and milspec proximity mines. Load my HOUSEBOAT up with the goods and moor up in the channel, nipping over to calais ninja style at night to fill up on vital supplies (ie beers)

 

[Will]

Fucking hell, too many posts...

Plightstar : The zombies are starting to pile up on the stairs, you've probably got a few hours, and then they will be able to climb up over the pile of zombies. Better get your thinking cap on.

Cyradix : The zombies don't seem to be accepting you are one of their own. They are walking slowly closer, mumbling something about brains...

Dukat : You better look for a nice pub. It'll have beers, zombies, and probably some more mirrors too.

Calaen : Your missus refuses to go to sleep in the middle of the afternoon, so can't sleep while there are zombies outside.

Brooky : You are currently in ryannors secret lair, where he is experimenting on you. The brain probe kind of tickle, and you've got a strong urge to eat him if you get the chance. He isn't exactly letting you come and go, in fact, you are strapped to a bench.

tris : The doors are opening, but the lights aren't on. You can hear movement inside, but can't see anything. Hambo seems to have found something, and sprints off into the supermarket, growling.

nate : The neighbours patio door is smashed. There is the signs of a struggle, and a trail of blood into the house, but no bodies on zombies in sight.

haarewin : An interesting start. Lets see how you do at driving...well, you aren't exactly showing mad skillz, but you do manage to get it moving. You do stall a couple of times, and you will need to work on your reverse parking.

 

[Will]

Chilly : Amazon say 3-5 working days, but I think they may take slightly longer under current conditions.

 

[Stimpy]

As I live way up North I feel I have plenty of time before the Zombie infestation reaches me so I pop down to the local Blockbuster and rent every Zombie movie I can find, I pop home and begin watching them, I feel these may give me vital tips on how to survive, I make it halfway through Chopper Chicks in Zombietown before falling into a coma.

 

[Rubric]

I decide to have one more cup of breastmilk infused tea before grabbing my car keys and heading out the front door. The coast seems clear and i head for my Laguna.

 

[haarewin]

haarewin : An interesting start. Lets see how you do at driving...well, you aren't exactly showing mad skillz, but you do manage to get it moving. You do stall a couple of times, and you will need to work on your reverse parking.

I manage to get near the newsagents and consider going in to buy a lighter when I smack into someone/thing and they make a massive crack in the windscreen, which is not ideal.
I realise it was only one of the chavettes that hang around outside the co-op and decide not to worry about if she was ok or just a zombie, this is survival! Seeing a few more 'people' about, I decide to put my foot down and head for the petrol station instead.
On the way, I see people looting the electronics shop, and notice my brother in the crowd. Deciding I will be better off with him, as he's a big fucker, I stop the car and beep the horn, shouting to him. He looks round, and there's no green glow from his eyes.

edit: spelling ¬¬

 

[tris-]

tris : The doors are opening, but the lights aren't on. You can hear movement inside, but can't see anything. Hambo seems to have found something, and sprints off into the supermarket, growling.

i can hear groaning from some direction and hambo is still barking. i use the zippo lighter as a torch and work my way towards the back of the store. theres a body lieing on the floor with a twitching arm, just next to the feminie hygiene products. i dont know if its dead or alive, but i severe its head off anyway. if i can make it through the warehouse bit at the back maybe i can find the managers office and the electricity switches somewhere.

im shouting for hambo but hes not coming back, and i cant hear the growling anymore, maybe hes been zombified. fuelled with adrenaline, i sprint for the double doors. theres roll cages everywhere. i can hear hambo growling again round the corner. hes found a man, who appears to have locked him self inside one of the cages. cant tell if hes dead or alive though.

 

[PLightstar]

As the Zombie bodies begin to pile up and slowly make there way up the stairs we barrcade the main front door and begin boiling hot water and vegtable oil and chuck it out the window on the Zombies on the stairs below. My flat mate goes into the loft and investiagtes the rumours that our flat is connected to the rest of the top floor flats, in search of food and weapons etc.

I try to phone my friend who lives in the town his mum has a collection of swords and crossbows (don't ask me why shes very odd) hes not answering his mobile. My plan is to reach the other side of the building and run to my car in the carpark head to my mates to get the weapons and head to the Cibbs Causeway Mall and hope people there have watched Dawn of the Dead and have the same idea. The only weapons we have are some BB Guns we have altered the springs so they are more powerful, don't know if they will fully penetrate flesh or just annoy the Zombies.

 

[Will]

As a warning for everyone, things are going to get a lot more deadly tonight. You better be well prepared.

Stimpy : You are in a coma. Lets hope you locked the door...

Rubric : You make it to the car, but the bleep of the unlock seems to have got some attention. Better get shifting...

Haarewin : Lets hope your brother can drive, because you've stalled the car, and the looters seem to like the idea of a car to take their stuff home in.

tris : He has locked himself in the cage to keep himself safe from the zombies, but he has gone quite quite mad from watching his co-workers being eaten alive. He is wearing a manager badge, and seems to have the keys, but isn't being cooperative, and it might be a bit of a risk letting him out.

 

[Nate]

My dogs start barking towards the house and I decide it's strategically stupid to go inside, I bang on the patio door with the butt end of my brothers samurai sword and hear groans(lots of groans) coming from inside. I call my dogs away and walk back to my car, get the dogs in, turn on the ignition and head towards the nearest BT Exchange(Great Bentley), a haven which is zombie proof! Food is scarce in the exchange, but a trip to the pub, tesco, butchers is within walking distance between me and these virtues is the biggest village green in the UK. When I get there I realise I need to get provisions and look for more survivors and the bloody alarm is going off as usual..but theres no one to ring to get it fixed this time! I can't have it going off or I'll attract more zombies I smash the alarm to pieces and the noise dies but the electric locking system is dead so I barricade the front door with some equipment I found in the frame room, I'll be able to last a few days with the current food stock so I'll wait till tomorrow morning to go out.

 

[Will]

Plightstar : The zombies don't seem too bother by the hot water and oil. The oil does make the ground slippy, which is good for slapstick zombie falling over action.

Your flatmate reports he can get from flat to flat, but they appear to be occupied. By the living dead!!!

The BBs are totally ineffective. Are you sure you want to make a dash to the car?

 

[Will]

Nate : You are dug in for the night...lets hope you make it.

 

[Stimpy]

Stimpy : You are in a coma. Lets hope you locked the door...

Sadly it seems I didn't lock the door and I am suddenly awoken from my coma by a cold damp hand on my shoulder, reflex takes over and I use the tv remote still in my hand and slam it into the side of the head of the shadowy figure infront of me, to my horror I realise I've just bashed the head in of the lovely little old lady who lives across the road who had no doubt come over to see if I was ok, I quickly rush to check all the windows and doors are locked then sit down with my axe in one hand and a tissue in the other as the realisation of what I have done races through my mind.

 

[tris-]

i dont feel like taking chances that he maybe innocent or safe, and as it is hambo is a better companion than another human. aslong as i keep feeding him marmite digestives he seems fine.

i try talking to the manager but hes adamant im one of them i tell him im the guy with a sword, a shopping trolley and a zombie hunting dog. i dont really know about the infection either, he could have it and its hibernating in his system. i do the only thing i can which is to drive my sword through his chest and slice him down in half. his body collapses in half. i signal hambo to be ready to attack as i open the door to the cage. he doesnt move as i take the keys off his belt. maybe he was human afterall.

theres a sign hanging off the ceiling saying "managers office" with an arrow pointing down the hall, i can hear a strange tapping coming from there.

 

[PLightstar]

Its starting to get dark, we have managed to make classic nails on wood weapons, may be primative but seems to be working, we have control over the upstairs flats. We hear a smash as the glass door on the bottom floor falls apart and zombies begin to drift in. On the down side some of the flats on the west side of the building have no food as they still haven't been bought yet and looks like they won't be for a while. I look out over the Cricket field and it looks like the Clevedon team have been zombfied and seem to be shuffling around in a vain attempt to remember how to play, we get some ice lollies out of the freezer and begin to watch the game, Don't think i'll be getting much sleep tonight, My flatmate has an old wind up AM/FM radio that has picked up a station but its just old recordings from the 80's, an automated broadcast is playin on the other stations but no news on whats happened in the world. The street lamps have come on which is odd as most of the homes don't appear to have power. We are guna try to reach people tomorrow, at least we are safe for now.

 

[Tom]

I jump in the car and take the M62 and then the A1 up to Catterick Garrison, which will of course be full of soldiers happily ripping the zombie hordes to shreds.

Fuel is not a problem, I can run the car on any kind of oil I find. If the oil runs out, I can drain the engines of abandoned cars and use that.

 

[Talivar]

Using my SAS training i go to my basement and gather my guns and sword and then head towards the lake district where i have my hidden cabin on high ground and securly protected by many high and low tech traps and defences. I try to ignore the fact that in every film its the super skilled macho man that somehow manages to die first!