Zompocalypse!!!!1!!!12!!!

[Will]

Though no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it Judgement Day. There's panic on the streets of London as an increasing number of reports of serious attacks on people, who are literally being eaten alive. Witnesses' reports at best are sketchy, but one unifying detail seems to be that the attackers in many instances appear to be dead.

The zompocalpyse begins now. You are sat where you are when you first read this. Explain what you are going to do to try to survive. At the moment there is no further info, you will find things out as you go along.

Teedles and I will judge how long you live. There will probably be a guest appearance by another mod or two as well. Bonus points for recognising my quote. Good luck.

 

[Sparx]

i'd finish my cornetto first, then get out the vinyl

 

[Will]

Congrats, you win a box of records with which to defend yourself.

 

[Sparx]

did i kill the thread?

 

[mank!]

dublin, dundee, humbersiiiiiide.

i'm sat in my living room. i would go upstairs and look around 360 degrees as i can see for a good distances. lots of open space.

have the zombies moved out of the cities and are they heading for the countryside?

 

[Will]

mank : You can see a few zombies from your window, but they haven't spotted you yet.

 

[Jupitus]

As terror grips the nation, I make a desperate bid for freedom by running as fast as possible to the Angel pub on City Road and making Brendan (the landlord) lock all of the doors and windows....

 

[Rubric]

I reckon i would probably sit down and watch a film and wait for it to blow over. Good comedy maybe, something like shaun of the dead perhaps.

 

[Will]

Jup : Despite the incredible odds against it, you actually make it to the Angel. Unfortunately, you have attracted a crowd, and there is no sign of Brendan. Or an open door.

Rubric : Good choice. Enjoy the movie. You do have the pressing issue that your milk has gone off, so no cups of tea unless you want to leave the house.

 

[tris-]

i dont give a shit, its in london and thats 500 miles away.

plus if it gets rid of a load of southern fairy fuckers then that can only be a good thing.

 

[Rubric]

Jup : Despite the incredible odds against it, you actually make it to the Angel. Unfortunately, you have attracted a crowd, and there is no sign of Brendan. Or an open door.

Rubric : Good choice. Enjoy the movie. You do have the pressing issue that your milk has gone off, so no cups of tea unless you want to leave the house.

It's ok my wife is lactating.

 

[Cyradix]

I google "can zombies swim" and feel secure after reading the answer....
I thank the gods for making England an island.

 

[Will]

tris : You might want to take a look out the window. Reports are stating that it isn't confined to London any more.

Rubric : Nice, very classy.

Cyradix : Zombies might not be able to swim, but they can walk along the bottom. And they appear to have also taken a ferry to Zeebruge and are spreading from there.

 

[Damini]

I'm screwed My flat is ground floor and full of easily smashable glass windows.. The car's right outside but Canterbury traffic is hell at the best of times, and zombie apocolpyse does not appear to be the best of times. I guess my best bet would be to get my swimming goggles on (I've seen 28 days later, and nobody is eye splashing me!) grab my baseball bat, grab squeek in a cat carrier, and head up to the fields, hoping that by escaping the more populated areas I'll improve my chances, and maybe even find a farmhouse with a shotgun weilding farmer.

 

[Jupitus]

Jup : Despite the incredible odds against it, you actually make it to the Angel. Unfortunately, you have attracted a crowd, and there is no sign of Brendan. Or an open door.

Looks like I'm a gonner already

 

[DaGaffer]

I'm at work. I'm near Croydon. How the fuck am I suppose to tell a zombie from the rest of them?

 

[Dukat]

Three pints of bitter, Two samurai swords, One mp3 player with "Led Zeppelin - Achilles Last Stand" on repeat

Oh, and just enough gas left in my CBR to get me to london raah!

 

[Guest]

are the zombies the new running ones or the oldk skool walking a bit slow ones............


it will affect my answer.......

plus i agree with triss... southern puffs population needs sorting out, espeicially around wimbledon and croydon or was it oxford

 

[Will]

Damini : Given how poor your starting location was, you made a good choice. You actually find a farmers cottage, but its empty. It has a double-barrel shotgun on the table, with both barrels loaded, but no other ammo obviously in sight. The fire is going, and there is soup on the stove.

Jup : You are probably fucked, but they haven't eaten you yet.

DaGaffer : You'll just have to assume everyone is a zombie unless they can prove otherwise. Cave in skulls, and ask questions later.

 

[Will]

Dukat : I like your thinking, but you probably won't have to go all the way to London. I'll assume you are drinking and getting into your leathers for the next hour or so, and checking how badass you look in the mirror. I expect a photo.

Brooky : They appear to be the slow shambling type. Thats the only reason Jup is still alive.

 

[Cyradix]

I head out and lock myself inside a shopping mall with a hot nurse, a policeman, some redneck security guards, a gang member and some other random cannon fodder (or should I say zombie fodder?)

 

[DaGaffer]

Got to be, head for the coast (car has a full tank, doors and windows locked, 40 mile trip), steal a boat, check every part of the boat for lurking undead by sending in one of my sacrificial lambs, sorry, colleagues, I've taken along, wait off shore. They can walk aong the bottom but they can't swim.

 

[Will]

Cyradix : There appears to be a shortage of hot nurses and policemen. You find a postman, and an elderly lollipop lady. The mall is not deserted, as the movies would have you believe, but is awash with the living dead. You better find somewhere else to hole up.

 

[Will]

DaGaffer : You aren't alone in your plan, and the choice of vessels is pretty limited. The good new is that you won't need to send co-workers off on their own one by one, because the dinghy doesn't have many nooks or crannies. There is a rather attractive looking lighthouse on a small island just off the coast, and it appears to be unoccupied. Which is lucky, because the seas are getting a little choppy.

 

[Guest]

ok, i will get into my armoured assault golf cart and gun the fuckers down with the napalm head shot clay pidgeon shooting gun (TM) thats nailed to vehicle untill the battery runs out

 

[Will]

brooky : The batter appears to have been robbed off an iPod. You only manage 3 minutes of power, no deaths. The battery isn't user replaceable either. You can send it back to Apple with £80 and they will post you it back with a replacement battery.

And you appear to have attracted the attention of a couple of dozen zombies who are now shambling towards you.

 

[Frizz]

Hmm, what would I do...

I'd probably grab a load of canned foods, a few gallons of water and hide out in my attic.

 

[Jupitus]

Jup : You are probably fucked, but they haven't eaten you yet.

I look around in desperation and spot a number 76 bus rounding the corner... throwing caution to the wind I run up in front of it and force the driver to stop. Yanking the door open I yell at him to continue to Waterloo and NOT STOP for ANYONE before running up the stairs. Thankfully the outbreak has happened before the rush hour and there is noone on the upper deck, so I break off a seat back and wait, armed with it, at the top of the stairs...

 

[MYstIC G]

I'm in the office, so already feel like I'm one of the Zombies. My course of action is to do nothing and just "blend in" this seems to give me enough freedom to slowly and safely make my way up to Scotland so that I can stand next to Will and ensure my safety because anything that happens to me then is surely going to happen to him!

 

[Jeros]

I grab the nearest heavy object that happens to be a flatscreen moniter as a weapon and attempt to head back to the farm house i rent a room in, i know there is (several) shotguns there and lots of horses, i pause for a moment considering the possibilty of zombie horses but procced on anyway, after manageing to avoid the zombies on the way back thanks to the manuveability of my push bike and bash down the landlords door, nick his shot gun, some shells, an anitque blunderbuss from the wall and hole up in my room protected by 2 locked doors, i hope the zombies dont realise that due to the massive quality of the housing i live in all doors can be opened with one firm shove.

Oh and of course i make myself a nice cup of tea and wait for the whole thing to blow over!