Question Writing marketing letter help please

Amphrax

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
2,117
I been working on a marketing letter for my new company and my English and gramma isn't very good. Could anyone have a look below and give me some ideas or tidy up please thanks in advance.

Translation-desktop publishing-printing

Dear sir/miss/manager

I would like to take this oppotunity to introduce ourselves as an excellent translation, desktop publishing and printing service with extremely competitive prices with discounts for all new and potential clients.

We strive to do our very best and provide an excellent service for all our customers needs which would involve in excellent communication and meeting our clients deadlines while doing the job in hand at a very high standard.

If this is something you would need please do not hesitate in calling us on <number>

Call us YOU will be plesently surprised.



<name>
Director
 

Marc

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 28, 2003
Messages
11,094
Not saying what you typed is awful, its not, but if you really want to make a go of it, pay a professional to word it for you. I dont know how to improve what you wrote, it just, doesnt sound very professional.
 

Cerb

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
5,033
I been working on a marketing letter for my new company and my English and gramma isn't very good. Could anyone have a look below and give me some ideas or tidy up please thanks in advance.

Translation-desktop publishing-printing

Dear sir/miss/manager

I would like to take this oppotunity to introduce ourselves as an excellent translation, desktop publishing and printing service with extremely competitive prices with discounts for all new and potential clients.

We strive to do our very best and provide an excellent service for all our customers needs which would involve in excellent communication and meeting our clients deadlines while doing the job in hand at a very high standard.

If this is something you would need please do not hesitate in calling us on <number>

Call us YOU will be plesently surprised.



<name>
Director

How about...

Dear sir /madam,
I am writing to you on behalf of (name of company). Our company specialises in translations, desktop publishing and printing services at extremly competative prices, with an added incentive of discounts for new and potential clients.

Our mandate is to provide our customers with the best service possible, focusing on customer needs through excellent communication, while also adhering to strict dealines and our own high standard of quality.

If you require any of these services, please contact us on (number)

Call us, you will be PLEASANTLY suprised.

Kinda rough but possibly sounds a little more professional? I hope so because this kind of thing (copy writing and such) is where I possibly want to start a career.
 

Litmus

Resident Freddy
Joined
Dec 30, 2003
Messages
1,577
scrap the last line, doesn't fit in with the rest of it
 

Moriath

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
16,209
how about you pay me 100 quid to draft one for you ;)
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
Aye tbh there are several elements there that just don't gel, it really would be worth spending a bit of cash and getting it worded professionally because that will attract people and probably by attracting just one person will pay for itself.

I can see what you are saying there but the whole thing needs tightening up and rewording so just use that as the outline and get it done by someone who does it for a living

Good luck with it sweetie :)
 

Imgormiel

Part of the furniture
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
4,372
I been working on a marketing letter for my new company and my English and gramma isn't very good. Could anyone have a look below and give me some ideas or tidy up please thanks in advance.

Translation-desktop publishing-printing

Dear sir/miss/manager

I would like to take this oppotunity to introduce ourselves as an excellent translation, desktop publishing and printing service with extremely competitive prices with discounts for all new and potential clients.

We strive to do our very best and provide an excellent service for all our customers needs which would involve in excellent communication and meeting our clients deadlines while doing the job in hand at a very high standard.

If this is something you would need please do not hesitate in calling us on <number>

Call us YOU will be plesently surprised.



<name>
Director


That's full of double speak and says everything like twice without actually saying anything at all. First rule of business, you can't have any business unless you are selling something. Your letter actually says nothing on those lines.
 

Garaen

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 27, 2003
Messages
985
Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce our company, <company name>. We are a focused and efficient translation, desktop publishing and printing service with highly competitive prices to suit the needs of both our regular and potentially new clients.

Our company directive is to strive to provide the finest service to all of our clients, ensuring every need is met. To guarantee total client satisfaction we focus on maintaining a clear and focused communication pathway, ensuring deadlines are strictly adhered to and completing all projects to the highest possible standard.

If our company appeals to you, please do not hesitate to contact us via telephone or e-mail.

Kind Regards,
<name>
Director of <company>
Tel: <tel no>
E-mail: <e-mail>
 

Marc

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 28, 2003
Messages
11,094
Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce our company, <company name>. We are a focused and efficient translation, desktop publishing and printing service with highly competitive prices to suit the needs of both our regular and potentially new clients.

Our company directive is to strive to provide the finest service to all of our clients, ensuring every need is met. To ensure total client satisfaction we focus on maintaining a clear and focused communication pathway, ensuring deadlines are strictly adhered to and completing all projects to the highest possible standard.

If our company appeals to you, please do not hesitate to contact us via telephone or e-mail.

Kind Regards,
<name>
Director of <company>
Tel:
E-mail:

Winner
 

Amphrax

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
2,117
You guys are a top bunch thanks for the replies much appreciated

still not going to stop killing u in the frontier though hehe
 

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