Writing Funnies

[Killswitch]

A competition to write the worst possible beginning to a book or chapter;

2007 Results

 

[Killswitch]

A competition to write the worst possible beginning to a book or chapter;

2007 Results

<Lamp Impression>

That is so old that Jesus actually personally healed the SysAdmin of the server that hosts that page of Leprosy just after he gave the Sermon on the Mount!!! You newb!!!

</Lamp Impression>

 

[pikeh]

who cares that its old.. its funny!

"Mary had a little lamb; its fleece was Polartec 200"

lawl.

 

[NikonL]

who cares that its old.. its funny!

"As the hippo's jaws clamped on Henry's body he noted the four huge teeth badly in need of a clean, preferably with one of those electric sonic toothbrushes, and he reflected that his name would be immortalized by his unusual death, since hippo killings are not a daily occurrence, at least not in the high street of Chipping Sodbury"

lawl.

I personally don't get this one. I'm no expert but to my mind this wasn't a bad opening line. Kind of reminded me of Douglas Adams in a way. (Don't flame me, i know it's nothing like as good).

 

[Lamp]

Hmm:

Ernest's condition could be alleviated by taking the heavily soiled under-garments of an unwashed 90 year old woman and chewing them vigorously for 4 hours. After that, bathing in dog urine for an hour and running up the street naked with a bottle of Uncle Tom's Port in the left hand would guarantee certain results.

 

[pikeh]

I personally don't get this one. I'm no expert but to my mind this wasn't a bad opening line. Kind of reminded me of Douglas Adams in a way. (Don't flame me, i know it's nothing like as good).

changed the quote as it was hardly the best one on there.
its supposed to be a parody of serious novels, douglas adams would have meant for it to be funny