Women troubles :o

[Dook_Pug]

So I'm 18, have been with my GF for near on 5 years now. We're both very much in-love and apart from the occasional bad spell, we're happy.

My dilemma:

I absolutely HATE going clubbing. IMO there's nothing worse than going to a club and "dancing" to "music" (bashment, pop and garage = music? HA.). I'd much rather share a few joints with good people and chat endless shit until we all fall asleep where we sit.

My girlfriend on the other hand loves it. She doesn't go very often though.

So here I am, Saturday night. My GF has just got the call to get ready 'coz her friends are coming to pick her up and I'm sat here with a face like thunder and pretty fucking upset.

I trust her, I trust the people she's going with and I trust that they'll get her home safety and yet I still find myself pissed off and um.... wanting to cry.

I'm concerned for her safety but I don't WANT to go and she doesn't want me to either so why am I pissed off? And what can I do about it? :|

First post on General and I guess it's a bit of a dodgy thing to post but I'm in dire need of unbiased support here so go easy on me please. ;>

Thanks

 

[Gumbo]

If she's going with a bunch of girl mates, and it's not 3 times a week, wheres the harm? There must be stuff you do that she's not into. It would be horribly boring if all the couples in the world wore matching anoraks and had exactly the same interests and hobbies as each other.

Try not to brood too much, and put the 'alone time' to good use, I'm sure you'll come up with something

 

[Dook_Pug]

Not all girls, tbh alot of her mates are male aswell as female. But yea like I said, that doesn't really bother me... much.

 

[throdgrain]

Not wanting to be horrible, but well, you might grow apart m8

 

[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

Insecurity is suuuuuch a turn on for women. :great:

If you can't trust her to be with her friends for one night after being with her for 5 years then you are obviously not right for eachother.

 

[Dook_Pug]

Originally posted by Cap'n Sissyfoo
Insecurity is suuuuuch a turn on for women. :great:

If you can't trust her to be with her friends for one night after being with her for 5 years then you are obviously not right for eachother.

Bah!

I said I trusted her! It has nothing to do with mistrust.

I just absolutely hate it when she goes out, I don't tell her this though.

I honestly don't know WHY I don't like it when she goes out but I do know it's not to do with any lack of trust.

 

[Ekydus]

Could it be as simple as it's because you're not going out?

You're not upset because she might abandon you, but because she's like a friend and she's leaving you alone?

 

[~Mobius~]

Dook. I'm not much of an expert on girls anyone will tell you. But just relax and let her have fun, she probably knows you dont enjoy clubbing much thats why she doesnt try and hassle you into it. You've been together for a long time now and its not as if you need to be joined at the hip 24/7.

 

[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

Originally posted by Dook_Pug
Bah!

I said I trusted her! It has nothing to do with mistrust.

I just absolutely hate it when she goes out, I don't tell her this though.

I honestly don't know WHY I don't like it when she goes out but I do know it's not to do with any lack of trust.

I know you said you don't mistrust her but I was pondering if it was more a sub-concious mistrust. Anyhoo, you would be better off telling her you don't like her going out and brace yourself for one hell of an argument. It will be nasty but you may get to the root of your issues.

Other options include:

1) Chain her up in the basement (assuming you have one...a garden shed will suffice although you will need to gag her to prevent anyone from hearing her screams).
2) Go out with her. (Clubbing! EWWW!)
3) Accept the fact that she needs to have a social life of her own.
4) Dump her ass and get a submissive Korean wife to cater your every whim and desire.

 

[Tom]

Maybe you're getting annoyed at her going out because you may be realising that after 5 years, you might be growing apart? Maybe you're scared to admit to that, if its happening.

Or maybe you've realised that guys go to clubs mainly to play out the old 'cattle market' situation/drink/fight, and you don't want your girl there.

Also, groups of women are bloody embarrassing, just be glad you're not with them, I would be.

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by Cap'n Sissyfoo
I know you said you don't mistrust her

btw: don't mistrust = trust

k thx

 

[Dook_Pug]

Why is it that people automatically assume we're growing apart just 'coz we've been together for a while? It really does seem like the whole world is against us at times.

"5 years? You won't last much longer"
"Aww isn't that cute! I never thought I'd break up with my first love either!"

etc etc

Why do people always assume that if a a young couple grows, they grow apart rather than together?

:<

 

[throdgrain]

Because us old fekkers know, it always happens

Myabe for you it wont though, good luck an all that stuff , hope it works out

 

[kameleon]

TBH every couple needs some time out.

for her a night out with the girls to just chat, have fun, let hair out and generally bitch about their men.

For him an night with the lads to get drunk, leer over women and generally bitch about their women.

I suspect what you are feeling is "Why is she just going out without me? she should be here with me every minute of the day and night". Get over it mate, everyone needs some space.

 

[Mr.Monkey]

Any relationship started before you reach the age of 20 is doomed to failure.

Mainly because you both grow up, and unfortaunately this means apart.

Esp when people go to uni and suchlike. People change alot.

Dook_Pug, it's cos life sucks.

 

[SoWat]

As an old fekker myself, I know where you're coming from Throddie

Dook, of course I don't know why you feel like you do. If it isn't mistrust, maybe it's jealousy... that she wants to do stuff without you.

Do you feel this way whenever she goes out, or just when she goes clubbing? Maybe you're upset that she can actually like something you detest?

Any relationship started before you reach the age of 20 is doomed to failure

Bit of a generalisation there eh? I've known my wife since we were knee high to grasshoppers... we married as soon as we could (16). We celebrated our 28th anniversary this year. She's still the only woman I want to be with (tho Kylie can have my body for a night if she wants ).

 

[Dook_Pug]

I guess I must be jealous in some warped kinda way.

About the whole growing apart thing...

You're a cynical bunch! :>

I know plenty of couples that have been together since they were in their mid-teens and are still happily married now, well into their 40s/50s.

I understand that people change and that life sucks p) but change within a relationship doesn't always have to end with one or both parties deciding they no longer need/want the other.

I mean, for example... We've been together since we were 13. That's through puberty, going from secondary school to college and this year, college to Uni. We're still going strong. Yes, there have been times where we've felt like we've been growing apart but instead of accepting it as an inevitable part of relationships we fought to keep it going.

Maybe I'm just being a naive teen but I honestly think that growing apart doesn't have to be a factor in a young relationship.

 

[kameleon]

I lived with my school sweetheart for 18 years


I think you are thinking "she shouldn't be doing things that I don't want to do", grow out of it dood, she needs time apart to appreciate you more

 

[Xtro 2.0]

Originally posted by Dook_Pug

First post on General and I guess it's a bit of a dodgy thing to post but I'm in dire need of unbiased support here so go easy on me please. ;>

I haven't read the rest of the thread but first HELLO dook

Anyway - the golden rule of a succesful relationship (IMHO of course) - do NOT, I repeat DO NOT ever EVER try and "control" a lassie as to what she can do, wear etc etc etc. Respect her individuality and let her go clubbing (if you dont like it, let her get on with it) and she'll have fun and (hopefully, well she ought to anyway) respect you for it.

If you're worried about her pulling someone else in a club I always used to rationalize that its just as easy to pull walking down the street/in the library/whatever. Its a question of trust and if your relationship is worth its salt then you should be ok no problem.

Hope this helps. slightly drunk atm

 

[Jonaldo]

Dook, just look after the kids, sort your hair out, recover in comfort and blame rvr guilds! Relax and don't worry, trust is a very under-rated thing. Just sit back and everything will be cool.

 

[Dook_Pug]

Originally posted by Jonaldo
Dook, just look after the kids, sort your hair out, recover in comfort and blame rvr guilds! Relax and don't worry, trust is a very under-rated thing. Just sit back and everything will be cool.

I don't have any body hair, fell out. I R SEXEH!

 

[Jonaldo]

Originally posted by Dook_Pug
I don't have any body hair, fell out.

From the treatment? sorry to hear about all that, after all the arguments we had I still say rvr guilds are to blame!!1 but everything will be ok now I'm away from DAoC

Cornell is now being played by my brother from time to time so feel free to insult him for fun

Take good care of yourself dude :x

 

[Mr.Monkey]

Originally posted by SoWat
Bit of a generalisation there eh? I've known my wife since we were knee high to grasshoppers... we married as soon as we could (16). We celebrated our 28th anniversary this year. She's still the only woman I want to be with (tho Kylie can have my body for a night if she wants ).

Of course!

But then anyone who takes a statement like that to mean "100% of all relationships will fail 100% of the time" is a bit soft. Do I really need to paraphrase it with exclusions?
No, cos you are all a clever bunch.

Some people do stay with their first. Not may tho. Have a think about how many you know that are still with the gf they had before 20 and are still with them.

Not many when you compare it to the amount that aren't.


p.s. kylie is mine.

 

[doh_boy]

Re: Re: Women troubles

Originally posted by Xtro 2.0

If you're worried about her pulling someone else in a club I always used to rationalize that its just as easy to pull walking down the street/in the library/whatever. Its a question of trust and if your relationship is worth its salt then you should be ok no problem.

Hope this helps. slightly drunk atm

Isn't the supermarket the most popular place to hook up (statistically speaking?).


As for realtionships started before 20 I have a two couples (who are both my friends) who got together before they were 20. One are married and the other (well would be if they believed in that stuff. I also have two other couple who split (one rather accrimoniously). So bascially it doesn't matter what age you get together imho

As for disliking her going out I'm guessing you don't like the fact that there is a part of her life that you will never be involved in. You love her so much you want to enjoy everything with her. As for a solution, not matter what the reason, you have to work it out for yourself I think. Try to rationalise your feelings, understand them, you'll probably fail but in trying you might gain a better insight into the feelings which will help.

but then I've never had a girlfriend so I wouldn't trust my advice

 

[old.tRoG]

Bah, I've known the missus since we were 13

 

[Swift^]

You like a chilled relaxed evening, yes?

She likes to go clubbing occasionally yes?

So while she goes out and does her thing, why not do your thing with your mates, instead of moping over the situation like someone that's been shot?

And if she doesn't go clubbing/raving for the music, it's soon going to tire out - if you're not their for the right reasons (enjoying the night the dj is putting on for you the crowd, with no ulterior motives) - you'll soon stop going anyway, because there's no escape. :]

Chill winstaaaaaaaaan. Or something.

 

[leggy]

Can I tell you a funny story?

I was in one Dundee's quality haunts last night and started speaking to this girl. Now although she seemed a little strange she was pretty damn gorgeous. Anyway, after 2 minutes of speaking to her she asked me if I wanted to dance. I'm like "o ffs" as despite the fact that I can actually dance, I despise it in everyway possible. I didn't want to fuck it up so I took her hand and walked to the dance floor with her.

Now to reach the dance floor you have to descend a number of stairs (5 or so). On the way down them, this girl slips on a spilt drink falls down the stairs and rolls across the dance floor.

Now i'm torn between two emotions:

1) Pissed off because now she'll be too embarrased to speak to me.

2) Am on the verge of bursting my ribs with laughter.

:/ Needless to say I never laughed but all my mates found it funny

She was too embarrased and ran off. Always me FFS. You have to smile though.

 

[Deadmanwalking]

You sure it wasn't on purpose just to get an excuse to get away from you?

 

[Trem]

Ahhhh the old chestnut that is WOMEN!

Basically, its real easy, if you love her don't fuck it up.

Dont show her you are bothered that she goes out. She will leave you if you go stroppy.

Good luck, I hope you never split up, a broken heart hurts more than sitting on your nuts

 

[Trem]

Originally posted by leggy
Can I tell you a funny story?

I was in one Dundee's quality haunts last night and started speaking to this girl. Now although she seemed a little strange she was pretty damn gorgeous. Anyway, after 2 minutes of speaking to her she asked me if I wanted to dance. I'm like "o ffs" as despite the fact that I can actually dance, I despise it in everyway possible. I didn't want to fuck it up so I took her hand and walked to the dance floor with her.

Now to reach the dance floor you have to descend a number of stairs (5 or so). On the way down them, this girl slips on a spilt drink falls down the stairs and rolls across the dance floor.

Now i'm torn between two emotions:

1) Pissed off because now she'll be too embarrased to speak to me.

2) Am on the verge of bursting my ribs with laughter.

:/ Needless to say I never laughed but all my mates found it funny

She was too embarrased and ran off. Always me FFS. You have to smile though.

Didn't see this, fucking cheered me right up, cheers chum

Zelda rocks btw Leggy, finally got round to playing it. Get in irc as well you bast