Why wankathons dont work

[Jeros]

Guy: Tonight was perfect
Girl: Yes i cant belive how much happier i am with that asshole out of my life
Guy: You sure your ok?
Girl: Yes cos im here with you
(hugs guys arm)
Guy: So where to now?
Girl: Wanna watch some dvds at mine?
Guy: Sure!

<later>

Girl: your a great kisser!
Guy: Been wanting to touch your lips for months
Girl: Make love to me
Guy: Sorry i cant, i have made a pact on an internet forum not to have sex or masturbate, lets watch spaceballs again.

 

[Mey]

<insert uncomfortable laugh>

ye thats totally what would happen!

 

[Hawkwind]

Girlyboy: Yes i cant belive how much happier i am with that asshole out of my life
Guy: You sure your ok?
Girlyboy: Yes, the bastard pimp ran after you kicked him in the nuts.
Guy: Why did he hit you?
Girlyboy: I spent all last months takes on the op. Seeing as how you helped me out, wanna freebie.
Guy: Sure why not, where to now?
Girlyboy: Wanna come back mine? I have to take some more hormone tablets or I start getting hairy.
Guy: Sure!

<later>

Girlyboy: your a great kisser!
Guy: Been wanting to touch your lips all month but never had enough cash on me, nice of you to shave as well!
Girlyboy: Make love to me
Guy: Sorry i cant, i have made a pact on an internet forum not to have sex with anymore ladyboys. They'll only take the piss if the find out

Edited for truth!

 

[Laddey]

<insert uncomfortable laugh>

ye thats totally what would happen!

lol

 

[crispy]

Guy: Tonight was perfect
Girl: Yes i cant belive how much happier i am with that asshole out of my life
Guy: You sure your ok?
Girl: Yes cos im here with you
(hugs guys arm)
Guy: So where to now?
Girl: Wanna watch some dvds at mine?
Guy: Sure!

<later>

Girl: your a great kisser!
Guy: Been wanting to touch your lips for months
Girl: Make love to me
Guy: Sorry i cant, i have made a pact on an internet forum not to have sex or masturbate, lets watch spaceballs again.

Except youre a nerd and the only thing that is remolely likely is this:

Guy: I wanna watch some dvds!

 

[tris-]

so jeros finally got laid?

 

[Jeros]

so jeros finally got laid?

lol try years ago

when i was 18 or 19

HOW THE FUCK CAN I FORGET HOW OLD I WAS something is wrong with me

 

[old.Tohtori]

In basis, this is why, amateurs:

*yaaaawn*
Ngh...got to get up...
*moments later*
Damnit!

*posting on freddys* "I'm out guys."

 

[Vladamir]

"Guy: Been wanting to touch your lips for months"

You wouldn't say that if you were straight for a start.

 

[Bahumat]

"Guy: Been wanting to touch your lips for months"

You wouldn't say that if you were straight for a start.

"touch your lips". Makes him sound like a freaky rapist!

 

[Dukat]

"touch your lips". Makes him sound like a freaky rapist!

The lady doth protest too much!!!1

 

[Bahumat]

Found the original

Guy: Tonight was perfect
Girl: Yes i cant believe how much happier i am with that asshole Laddey out of my life. He's a cool guy but has shit taste in music.
Guy: I heard he even wets the bed, are you gonna be ok?
Girl: Yes cos im here with you and your hairy back. It's like a guerilla. Make gorilla noises please?
(hugs hairy arm)
Guy: urrghh rooarr rooo urrrr grrrrr?
Girl: Wanna watch some dvds at mine?
Guy: Sure, but none of that Mary Poppins gumpfh Ezteq makes me endure!

<later>

Girl: your a great kisser, but why dont I have a name in all this?!
Guy: Been wanting to touch your lips for months, I know that makes me sound like a pervert rapist, and maybe I am, but I gotta be strong for the FH members
Girl: Tis ok, stroke my hair and tell me it smells of gravy...
Guy: Sorry i cant, i have made a pact on an internet forum not to have sex or masturbate, lets put a whole can of coke in our mouths like that crazy dude.
Girl: I have a secret...
Guy: Huh? I thought this ended already?
Girl: I'm your pet dog Susie, you got really drunk
Guy; Susie...is that you?
Guy:...