What life is like in the movies

  • Thread starter old.charliealpha
  • Start date
O

old.charliealpha

Guest
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

The Chief of Police is always black.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
 
O

old.frankie

Guest
so true about star trek style guns...
 
O

old.logic7

Guest
About this one: "All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555."

Some people had a habit of actually dialing the phone numbers from movies and some of them were live numbers. Needless to say, some people were pissed about the constant phone harassment so a prefix was given out that could be used in movies. The 555 prefix is reserved, but as far as I know, only one number actually resides there - 555-1212 : the number to Directory Assistance. The rest do nothing.
 
D

Durzel

Guest
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
LOL such a truism, even in recent martial-arts films.
 
O

old.logic7

Guest
"When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other."


... you mean to tell me they don't?
 
O

old.charliealpha

Guest
Originally posted by Perplex
Nice email...who sent it to you?

Had this a while. Was in one of my OGA plans so I thought I'd grace BW with it.
 
O

old.Hoff_MisTer

Guest
Hehe

Star Trek special effects make me laugh.

Like when a planet explodes it only ejects matter in a blast wave from the equator.
Space ships lean over when damaged and always seem to meet in the same plane.
Hand phaser fire always goes from A-B direct. (straight line, no sweeping or adjustment)
Least thats the way it looked in ST-II - Kahn Throws a Wobbly.

:)
 
O

old.Cpl_Custard

Guest
"All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread."

I thought that was fucking hilariouse
 
O

old.logic7

Guest
add this to it:

Computers can be used to "tap in" to any higly sophisticated mainframe without either one being connected to the outside world via modem.
 
S

Stazbumpa

Guest
and this: Computers never crash or do a blue screen when they are trying to hack something. They always work first time, every time, and the hacker can guess the password aswell.

See Eddie Izzard "Glorious" for further details.
 
O

old.[CS]Sentinel

Guest
LOL. The entire aim of my life now, is to create a major motion picture and have a scene where Hackers are trying to hack into a major government computer to avert a world-destroying event....only for it them to see the Blue Screen Of Death at the last moment.

Another thing about space battles. Why do they always fly head on at each other? Do they not realise you can go up and down as well?!

And whats with the ship shaking side to side?!

Sent
 
W

Wij

Guest
Why aren't photon torpedos (or whatever) guided ? Why don't pilots even have a HUD ? Why do stars fly by like they're going 10 parsecs per second in the ships' windows but it takes weeks to go a few hundred parsecs ? How come a ship drops out of greater-than-lightspeed after a chase and another one does it few seconds later and they're still only a few hundred metres away from each other not miles and miles ?

Oh, I could go on but it just makes me despair :)
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
lol
that's the trick isn't it? I'd like to know how signals from a robot drone can be monitored in real-time from halfway across the galaxy.
:)
ahh but it's sci-fi innit? one must not kill the magic by questioning it too much
 
W

Wij

Guest
No. Bugger the no-life convention-going freaks :)

"It doesn't make sense"
 
N

Nibbler

Guest
Here's another:

People never ever ever lock their cars
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Similar threads

O
Replies
6
Views
613
L_Plates
L
D
Replies
20
Views
694
Jonaldo
J
M
Replies
27
Views
860
L_Plates
L
D
Replies
32
Views
1K
amobea
A
S
Replies
12
Views
590
W
Top Bottom