What is this world coming to?

Whipped

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Dec 22, 2003
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Walking home from work tonight, I'm walking down the hill by my house, minding my own business when I'm tapped on the shoulder. I turn around and am slapped very hard in the face. The culprit then smiles and walks away to join his 20 or so other Chav mates.

I have to admit that I stood there in stunned silence for a moment or two before giving the usual abusive language to them.

I get my mobile out and call the cops, ask them to send someone round to move them on or at least do them for underage drinking and I'm told that they'll only send someone out if I stay where I am.

What? I've just been assualted and they want me to stay where I am?

I couldn't be bothered with the hassle and the recriminations that may result from it (I walk down the hill every day and have often seen these Chav fuckers sitting there.) so I just decided to leave it there and walk on home.

Can't wait till next week to see if the git trys it again :) Oh will he get a surprise :)
 

Dommers

Fledgling Freddie
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Apr 2, 2005
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You got Happy Slapped. A new craze for Chavs atm. Fucking *****.
 

Clown

Part of the furniture
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Don't. People I know know people who know people (blah) who do this happy slapping shit. They put people in hospital if they fight back. This is South London though. You just don't mess with some people.
 

Gumbo

FH is my second home
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Dec 22, 2003
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Tell the police you got assaulted, and you think, though can't be sure that one of them had a gun.

They will be there in 2 minutes.
 

Whipped

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Dommers said:
You got Happy Slapped. A new craze for Chavs atm. Fucking *****.
Well, I certainly ain't very fucking happy ;)
 

rynnor

Rockhound
Moderator
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Dec 26, 2003
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You have 2 choices - the satisfying but highly illegal route of violent recrimination or the dull, time consuming and possibly useless official channels.

On the latter route you should report it to the police and ask for a crime number. If the police are un-interested as you say then try your local MP - they usually have 'surgery' times when you can see them. Tell them about the lack of police interest and suggest the council impose an ASBO banning gatherings of youths in that area (these types of order are used a lot around the country).
 

Furr

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When i was at uni a group of Chav's decided they would prowl the student area in town, smashing open doors etc. Well they came to my house after they smashed my door open i went out to say WTF are you doing, they then attempted to fight me. Well these four 16 year olds probably thought they would win. First I chucked the one who hit me from behind into the wall then i grabbed another and swung him into one of his mates I then ran to my neighbours house where 3 bouncer lads, who are all body builders and also judo players gave me a hand. The Chavs got smashed to bits we then called he cops and we didn't get in any trouble as we were acting in self defence.

That was the last incident of the locals causing problems in our little student bit for the rest of my time there. Plus the place got plastered with posters saying "CHAV WATCH, If your a Chav keep the f*ck out"
 

Turamber

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Cheeky little bastards. Unfortunately the police are more interested in statistics than stopping crime - they know they couldn't do much, if anything, to the little pricks so they are obtuse as possible in an attempt to not have to come out and put you in the incident book.

A few years ago I had come back from holiday and was getting a taxi home from the train station. Some thick-as-shit yobbos were walking down the road, evidently after having seen some Jackie Chan film, as I got into the back of the taxi one of them rushed up to me shouting some made up Chinese shit and kicked me in the back. They all then proceeded to laugh their heads off and run off down the road.

Maybe we should take a leaf out of Michael Douglas' book in Falling Down?
 

Tom

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Personally, I'd wait until you saw him next and then spy on him. Follow the fucker home.

Then buy a balaclava, some chilli powder (or a can of ralgex), wait until dark and hes on his own, and kick his fucking head in.
 

mank!

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threats of violence from on an internet gaming forum full of nerds, brilliant



you'd be better off walking home a different way love
 

Tom

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You think I'm joking Mank. You don't know the half of it.
 

gmloki

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Chavs are scum.

Should string the little Burberry hat wearing, rockport boot wearing fekkers up by the swingers and give him some justice.

God I hate chavs
 

WPKenny

Resident Freddy
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,346
Tasers are the BEST comedy ever!

I love watching cop shows where they use tasers. The people are warned (as the have to be) that they're about to be tasered but they still keep acting like some hardcore nutcase.

*POW* BZZZZZT!

And they drop like a sack of shit. Even the biggest bastards are jiggling round on the floor pleading like a little girl. :) More tasers plz! hehe.
 

Embattle

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They often get tested on the police who are going to use them, just to show what happens and how it feels :)
 

Mazling

Fledgling Freddie
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It's been said before: they are only going to out-breed us, so let's send the army in right away, before it's too late.

Embattle said:
They often get tested on the police who are going to use them, just to show what happens and how it feels
Let's hope they don't go soft :)
 

Penguin

Fledgling Freddie
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Mazling said:
It's been said before: they are only going to out-breed us, so let's send the army in right away, before it's too late.


Let's hope they don't go soft :)
I reckon there aren't actually that many of them, just seems like alot because a majority of them are twats so it's hard to miss them.
 

Mazling

Fledgling Freddie
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Or that the few there are, are so bad ... yes, you are probably right.
 

Calamore

Fledgling Freddie
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mank said:
threats of violence from on an internet gaming forum full of nerds, brilliant



you'd be better off walking home a different way love
rofl
 

Stazbumpa

Fledgling Freddie
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Dec 25, 2003
Messages
469
I lock up quite a few chavs who have families in my area. You should see/hear some of the shit I get from them.

Reminding them of the status quo and if they enjoy causing shit for him normally quietens them down.


As for calling the wrath of the righteous upon their chav arses; threatened it more than several times, only needed to act upon it a couple of times. Sadly, drunk chavs sometimes give you no room for manoevure.
Violence only begets violence if you don't use it properly. This isn't the big "I AM" speech, just fact. I know a lot more about what's out there than most in here.
 

Dommers

Fledgling Freddie
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Urban Dictionary:
Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index.

Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool.

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police.

Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspring which their 13 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent.

Chavs have a fond love for cars, as well as a Vin Diesel fixation. Rather than buy a nice car to start with, a chav will spend all their dole and tax-free labouring cash on upgrading a 10 year old car with 200,000 miles on the clock. The end product will invariably be a luminous monstrosity with at least one serious collision to it's name.
Come back with my bumper, you fucking Chav thief.
 

mank!

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i just get the impression that people over the age of 25 lump any 'yoof' they dislike into the catergory of chav.

it reminds me of the days i spent disassociating football fans with football hooligans.

turns out i was sort of wrong there.
 

mank!

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"Fake designer clothing and accessories, in particular the distinctive tartan of Burberry, similar to (and perhaps derived from) the casuals of football supporters."

that's utter bollocks and this is what pisses me off.

ask someone to define chav and they can't, but ask them to point chavs out walking down the street they'll point out anybody who happens to be wearing brand clothing. i wear fred perry, ben sherman, stone island. doesn't make me a chav, does it?
 

mank!

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you know full well that i'm not, now go get your anorak son
 

Furr

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I think chav just relates to the offspring of the dole spongers, who skive from school, smoke pot, hang in groups threatening people or being racist, trying to steal from Car forecourts, New agents etc, and they get abusive if a figure of authority tells them to stop "Stealing, Spitting, Shouting, "crusing in their wicked wicked Nova"

Basically its the offspring of poor people, who have no ambition, are disallutioned(sp?) to their place in society and vent their short comings or and envy of people who work in anti social ways. Its been made worse because now the poor people have realised that the more children they have the more money they get from the state and they can live a nice lifestyle with their million chav bastard kids without ever having to goto work.

Solution, No more free money, for those that choose not to work. Maybe we should go Nazi. If they can't stick to something as simple as street cleaner, cleaner etc. Then either they can get a job thrust upon them, Road Builder, etc. Or they realise that they will no longer be recieving money from the state.

I don't care what anyone says, Im all for the Welfare State, but it should be set up in such a way that its there in an emergency, Not if someone can't bothered. If they can't be bothered then they should suffer,
 

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