Western culture finally reached the bottom

[Thorwyn]

This is the synopsis of a german court room TV show on videotext.
Mind you, this program goes on air from 3pm - 4pm in the afternoon.

Translation:

On her husband´s birthday party, Sabine suddenly collapses, when the mobile-controlled vibrator that she´s using that evening goes off because of an incoming phonecall. The malicious part: the vibrator has been manipulated with a deadly snake venom!
But it´s not her vibrator, it´s the vibrator of Sabine´s best friend Anna. Did Anna kill her best friend, or is it just a tragic mistake?

 

[CorNokZ]

Shit, what do you think happened? Do you think Anna could really have done such a terrible thing?

 

[Thorwyn]

Quite possibly.
I never trusted that bitch anyways.

 

[TdC]

my lezza downstairs neighbours do that to each other all the time. at least, it sounds that way...

 

[old.Tohtori]

Does Anna have a hubby who might be vindictive?

Meant for Anna, but wrong person had it up there.

Or maybe Sabines hubby knew of this borrowing of applications, got jealous and did the deed?

Perhaps Sabine was experimenting in some form of snakevenom-similar-to-hanging-at-doorknob thing?

Or is this a case of Sabine being a venomous b*tch and coming so hard due to the text-vibrate combo that she popped a vein?

Endless possibilities.

 

[DaGaffer]

Speaking as a former purveyor of the things, never use someone else's vibrator; its an icky gross health hazard (obviously in this case).

I think "manipulated with a deadly snake-venom" may be missing something in the translation as well...

 

[Vasconcelos]

Rome fell because something like that.

DOOOOOOM!

 

[Thorwyn]

I think "manipulated with a deadly snake-venom" may be missing something in the translation as well...

Indeed.
Should be "poisoned with a deady snake venom".

 

[Shagrat]

are we sure she wasnt drunk and mistook a black mamba in the final stages of rigor mortis for her "lady toy"

That would explain the venom anyway!

As for the article itself, looks like someone has accidentally posted an upcoming Eastenders script on a news page....

 

[cHodAX]

Mmm, Lesbians. My favourite brand of sexual deviant.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Why is no-one questioning why this ancient technology is still running in Germany?

 

[Thorwyn]

You don´t have videotext in the UK anymore?

So where the hell do you guys meet hot young girls in stockings for permissive SMS chats?

 

[Wazzerphuk]

We got rid of it a few years ago, and we're technologically behind pretty much everyone bar Bhutan.

Permissive? We don't take kindly to that over here...

 

[DocWolfe]

German TV has always been gutter.

 

[old.Tohtori]

We got text-tv here still too, someone should really upgrade the system though.

TI's handy, very handy, but oh so slow and lacking proper structure.