Viz top tips

[Marc]

Fishtank Humour - Article Tank - VIZ Top Tips

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y

Manchester United fans. Save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. It is now clear to all, as to your allegiance

Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

MAKE shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the fucking thing in the first place, you fat bastards.

 

[Vladamir]

"Buy a television set exactly like your neighbours. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control."

Lol brilliant

 

[Jeremiah]

My Favs!

Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.

SAVE petrol by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

 

[CorNokZ]

Make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex by phoning her up and telling her.

And one for the Seel:

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

 

[old.Tohtori]

And one for the Seel:

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

Bu...bu...what about the happy buzz and the lala land trip?

 

[CorNokZ]

Bu...bu...what about the happy buzz and the lala land trip?

Ice tea does the same! How would you know? You've never tried it