Help Up a certain creek, no paddles, but a business plan?

[Damini]

So, the writing world is screwed. By extension, so am I. No sad songs played on the smallest violins, but the lay of the land is this:

The film deal died.

My american contract has been cancelled due to the recession. I have to pay back the advance.

I do not have the money to do this. The plan presented by my agent was to sell a new book, and cover the costs from this.

The latest offer on my new book has come in. After agents fees, it works out as roughly 2/3 months wages. If I shop at Lidl. Eat by candlelight. And do not pay back any money to America.

The past year has been rubbish, and I have had enough. I have come back from honeymoon to find smashed bottles outside our home, our garage graffitied, the flat above ours looking increasingly like the place you find mummified corpses or syringe mountains in, and something has just made a fizzing noise and exploded inside my brain.

Time for a change.

I have been looking at setting up a stationary company, specialising in alternative wedding invitations. The guy at the printing company who was meant to be working with me on this has stopped responding to correspondence (of course) so I have decided to look into how much it would cost to buy my own equipment - using my pathetic advance money as an investment. Trouble is, I have absolutely no clue how to even begin finding this kind of specialised printing equipment.

does anyone here have any experience in this field? Do I need to buy a special printer that also folds the cards, or card that is already folded, or mystery other? I know I am in the shallow end of the learning pool on this, but the plan originally was just for me to source designs and run the website, rather than have to actually make the cards as well.

Any advice would be graciously recieved.

Also, sorry to anyone who has written to me for writing advice this year, and not recieved anything helpful back. It's been hard acting all chipper about it all when it's all been so doom and gloomy.

 

[MYstIC G]

I do not have exceptional advice in the specifics of printing to offer I'm afraid.

What I would say is that if you're going to run a business like this, don't get too specific. While "alternative" is a specialism, if you could make £500 selling "boring and normal" wedding invitations, then do those as well as at the end of the day £500 is £500.

Additionally my thought process says, when was your last book released? Is it worth taking poo money to keep your name out there?

 

[Chilly]

Unlucky on both counts (house+job)

You considered getting some guys in china to do the actual work? Or hiring a polish kid to sit in your front room doing it Might be cheaper!

 

[Damini]

I do not have exceptional advice in the specifics of printing to offer I'm afraid.

What I would say is that if you're going to run a business like this, don't get too specific. While "alternative" is a specialism, if you could make £500 selling "boring and normal" wedding invitations, then do those as well as at the end of the day £500 is £500.

Additionally my thought process says, when was your last book released? Is it worth taking poo money to keep your name out there?

Well end up doing those as well, but the real gap in the market is for alternative designs, and since I know lots of upcoming artists in that field (tattoo style, goth, etc) I thought we'd play to our strengths.

I'm going to take the advance, no real choice in the matter, but I can't survive on it, so I need to think of alternative plans.

 

[Damini]

Unlucky on both counts (house+job)

You considered getting some guys in china to do the actual work? Or hiring a polish kid to sit in your front room doing it Might be cheaper!

The trouble is the turn around with going outside the UK. Besides, if I run it myself from home, I can keep control of of all my overheads and also diversify as and when needed. If someone needs something quickly knocked up, I can do it myself, and juggle the orders.

 

[ST^]

You can get cheap little things for scoring/creasing card, but if you print on the spine first (yes, you print before you crease), you could end up 'cracking' the print.

I don't see any real potential in what you're planning, so my real advice is to get a job.

 

[Tom]

Can you not renegotiate the agency fees? If you're being hit by the recession, why not them also?

 

[Damini]

I've been looking for a job for months. I continue to look. Not a great deal out there at the moment for dyslexic drama graduates. I still have to work as an author as well, and do events, and meet deadlines, as any hope I have for decent future earnings really rests on book sales.

 

[MYstIC G]

Fair play, in that case (after rummaging on Bing) it would seem from the competition(?) that you could do much better. I'm sure that plenty of the peeps on here with their epic photoshop/webdev abilities could craft you a fuckload more attractive site.

If you're getting other people to do the artwork, perhaps start off the "old fashioned" route, i.e. put the designs out there and get them printed by a printing company to start with (no upfront cost) with a markup for yourself?

 

[Damini]

Fair play, in that case (after rummaging on Bing) it would seem from the competition(?) that you could do much better. I'm sure that plenty of the peeps on here with their epic photoshop/webdev abilities could craft you a fuckload more attractive site.

If you're getting other people to do the artwork, perhaps start off the "old fashioned" route, i.e. put the designs out there and get them printed by a printing company to start with (no upfront cost) with a markup for yourself?

Which is exactly what I was trying to do, but most printing companies won't touch erratic orders, or at least, won't create a pricing structure for them. The one company I found that initially would is now playing dead.

Bruv would be making the site, so that's not something we'd have to worry about too much.

 

[MYstIC G]

I see, I see.

*rustles up a PM*

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Gah really sorry to read about the general rottenness.

 

[Jupitus]

Poo bags

I've pinged a note to a friend of mine who is in the document management industry and might have some printer contacts to ask him for any suggestions or ideas.... I'll let you know if he does!

 

[DaGaffer]

I'm a bit confused about why you have to pay back the advance on the American deal. They cancel, you lose the advance? Seems a little odd.

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

whislt tryin to find that website thats advertised on the telly offering business contacts in india and china etcm i came across this gem

Toys & Novelties

 

[Tom]

Its an advance on future earnings. No future earnings = no advance.

 

[Damini]

Yeah, and they invoked a non-delivery clause. All contracts have a short delivery clause time, and its etiquette not to call up on it because it's art, rather than something that has a predictable time frame. However, Simon and Schuster are in dire shape, many many redundancies, and they are calling back everything they possibly can. There have even be cases recently where first time authors have had their book cancelled, and are having to pay back the advance on a finished book because of a "quality" cause being invoked.

Like I said, its a really shitty time to be a writer.

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

change your name by deed poll to j k rowling, release another book and you will be ok..........

 

[Bahumat]

I do not have exceptional advice in the specifics of printing to offer I'm afraid.

What I would say is that if you're going to run a business like this, don't get too specific. While "alternative" is a specialism, if you could make £500 selling "boring and normal" wedding invitations, then do those as well as at the end of the day £500 is £500.

Additionally my thought process says, when was your last book released? Is it worth taking poo money to keep your name out there?

Yeah I agree with MYstIC G. If you only "appeal" to one market, you're potentially losing customers. The boring every day type stationary will be your bread and butter...but then again, I'm no expert!

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

screw tops on shampoo bottles (a job i once did), pick potatoes out of the ground (another job i once did), do anything, anything is better than nothing, work 3 jobs to get by (another thing i once did), do the business in your own time, not the time when you should be working earning money.

if you aint got a job, get one, any one at all... thast the problem atm, people wont do shit work, but you have to do it to get by....


you _could_ get pregnant then that will solve alot of problems as well, tax credits etc

 

[Damini]

I too once screwed on bottle lids. I also made up cardboard boxes. I have worked selling football coupons door to door. I was a washer up in a pub. I worked as a cashier in a supermarket. I made up beds in the scummiest hotel in Bognor.

Don't think I am too proud to take a job. I am just trying to find a job that gives me the best prospect of writing as well (the only true potential I have to ever be anything beyond a minimum wager)

 

[ST^]

screw tops on shampoo bottles (a job i once did), pick potatoes out of the ground (another job i once did), do anything, anything is better than nothing, work 3 jobs to get by (another thing i once did), do the business in your own time, not the time when you should be working earning money.

if you aint got a job, get one, any one at all... thast the problem atm, people wont do shit work, but you have to do it to get by....

Agree 100%. My little brother has been looking for a job for a loooong time, complaining that there's nothing for him, but he has unrealistic expectations as to what kind of job he should be doing.

This is at best a lifestyle business that may never even give you the minimum wage, and certainly won't offer any kind of stability.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Like I said, its a really shitty time to be a writer.

Been trying to get my arse into gear to start and then fractured my wrist! Will definitely try and get started before/around the New Year. Really sorry to hear about your (continued) woes, hope the honeymoon was a good break from it all.

 

[Damini]

Ack ST^ and Brooky. It sounds like you guys want to heimlich me to get the silver spoon out of my mouth. I have had a job since I was fourteen. I have had the shittiest jobs known to man. Have you ever had to sweep up someone else's psoriosis from stained bed sheets? Ever had to sell double glazing over the phone to the disinterested and borderline psychotic residents of Bognor? Ever stood outside on a summers day, clutching a giant inflatable mobile phone, selling top up cards? Ever had to do a rap over a tannoy about reduced price meat? Ever spent an entire day picking off wads of clogged up human skin off of the back of people's watches? Ever spent time in a factory, folding up cardboard boxes, and having to listen to the same joke over and over again about a fart that smelt like dry roast peanuts?

I will do whatever I need to survive. Always have done, always will do. I just see an opportunity for something that will work alongside my writing, have flexible hours, play to my strengths and avoid my huge, blazing weaknesses, and it's something I actually have a lot of faith in. I also have people in place ready to advertise it for free, highly regarded up and coming artists prepared to donate their art to me, two businesses with large customer bases ready to tie in to this, a brother who is fantastic at designing websites, contacts at a wedding magazine, and best of all the out going costs will be very low indeed as you only create the cards as and when.

It's not a crime to have aspirations. You can still be a realist at the same time.

 

[taB]

No helpful stuff about printing things from me I'm afraid. Sounds like a sucky time so good luck with it.

Oh, and I too have done shampoo lids, although I preferred the line where you squeeze tested the tubes of face gunk.

I doubt you're near Cambridge but if you are I've got about 20 hours a week menial shit I need someone to do till Christmas

 

[rynnor]

Hmm - how about an Illustrated book based on your first one aimed at younger readers?

If it worked you could spin it off into a series?

Other ideas I had was looking for jobbing writing or finding a famous person who you could do an autobiography of?

I like your business idea but you must be realistic - most small businesses fail so you need some backup employment?

Edit: How bout christmas postperson temping? apply about now.

 

[Chilly]

My mum just started a publishing business. Sadly she sells wierdo religious and music books.

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

sorry Dams, i aint preaching, i understand that you need time to do your writing, but its a juggling act atm, the countries on its arse financially and its bite the bullet time, any job is better that no job, i know it sounds crass but you have to keep your head down and ride out the storm, it might take a year or 2 but you will always have the writing.

i just think its important to get yourself straight financially, hell even save a few quid, save up 3-6 months worth of money and then write another book.

When you were doing your previous jobs how did you get time to write your first book, do the same now, i know you would rather have a none 9-5 job that made you money so you could write full time but atm as you said yourself its not a good time to be a writer, its also not a good time ot be starting out on a new busines venture................

 

[Scouse]

UL Dams. Chin up.

I'd like to say something more profound than that but it's the best advice I've got. However, it is good advice.

 

[Cemeterygates]

No helpful stuff about printing things from me I'm afraid. Sounds like a sucky time so good luck with it.

Oh, and I too have done shampoo lids, although I preferred the line where you squeeze tested the tubes of face gunk.

I doubt you're near Cambridge but if you are I've got about 20 hours a week menial shit I need someone to do till Christmas

what would that be, and how close to cambridge?