unattainable...

[Uara]

OK you have got to be shitting me, I have had multiple crushes in high school and never once did the gal get the guy, never! I remember going to bed at night and my chest literally hurting and feeling so embarrassed and just down right defective that I was emo before emo was ever invented!

Then I got to an age where I learned that if I bent over a pool table in a certain way I could get pretty much any bloke I wanted, but it was a shag and that was it, I never got a bf which was what I actually wanted. I wanted someone to go to dinner and the movies with, play laser quest and share a pizza with and stuff, I never got that until I was twenty flipping two! and I have to say, not even looking for a relationship, i'd given up lol

So you guys getting rebuffed for shags etc thinking bah, these gals have all the power, I am nothing but a weak and feeble man reliant upon these women who can swat me like a fly!! It is all an illusion, OK some girls might "have that power" but most are faking it and just hoping that if they put out to the right guy she'll actually get someone who wants to stick around and get to know her...and if the guy doesnt the gal acts all aloof and "yeah like I care" as a way of protecting herself.

Honestly freddies! we are all just people none of us have mystic powers, none of us really knows any more than anyone else we are all just pissing in the wind and hoping for the best....which by the looks of it, Teedles got, wtg man awesome, but seriously remember these words:

-Its not just you
-Everyone gets rejected, some appear to cope with it better
-and really big flipping deal if they don't "like you in that way" their loss...although we have or will all act like a circus puppy trying to prove our worth at some point (and if you do, or have done...try not to remember it, its just embarrassing lol)

Ez you're posts are far too sensible at the moment. Stop it

 

[Bugz]

Relationship drama <3

 

[pikeh]

Try to pat a cat, it'll run away.

Only if the patee looks like the technoviking!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Only if the patee looks like the technoviking!

Hey, that pussy had it coming, it was in my comfort zone!

 

[Yoni]

If it is not meant to be then it is not meant to be, have you ever thought that the reason you find them attractive IS because they are unattainable. Subconsciously this may appeal to lack of commitment.

I was locked away for the first 16 years of my life and when I came out blokes my own age just didn't interest me it was all about the older man. However older men get very old very quickly and as those who know me will tell you I am not adult in the slightest, in fact I think I have regressed.

It isn't about the shag it IS about being able to pr sit back and enjoy some tele, play computer games, go to the movies, lie / picnic in the park, get twatted on shorts and not worry that they wont love you anymore because you have filled the sink with vomit, getting a dose of the trots and not worrying that the smell will alienate them for ever.

Being able to walk around in just your pants / nekkid without worrying that they will criticise you physically, having a heated debate before bedtime and being able to sleep holding each other (useful advice my mum gave me and it actually works: never go to sleep on an argument).

The ability to express feelings without worrying that you will be mocked. The ability to tackle delicate subjects which cross your life path: work, health etc without worrying that your partner will take offense even if what you need to say is difficult (ie your partner or you has put on an unhealthy amount of weight or lost an unhealthy amount of weight and you are concerned for their / your health rather than how they / you look) ..... god I could go on and on and on and on.....

To TdC best of luck with your lesbo combo *grins* cant wait to hear about the encounter.

 

[tris-]

have you ever thought that the reason you find them attractive IS because they are unattainable. .

its either
:the great boobs
:the great arse
:the great legs
:the great face
r the above as a combo.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yoni is another of these relationship people who think that the rules of relationships work in every situation and that relationships are the only thing in the world

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

Heya guys,

Thanks for the support, and the........ Well, other posts.

Well, here's a couple of tricks;

Learn mroe about them before you start even thinking about getting in their pants. Like for example; does this person even like men Kind of a key note in the relationship i think.

Other is to stop treating everyone as a fucktarget.
Dont' lower your standards though, 'cause if fat ugly men can get hotties...

Good advice, but sometimes easier said than done, and I definately don't make every girl a fucktarget. I'm not one to really go for one-night stands... Not my thing, and I'm rather specific with my GF-requirements

Story of my life.......yesterday prime example at a bbq and my friend had some of his uni friends down. Had a good old chat going on between eating bbq food and drinking stuff etc with this one girl. But then find out she's fucking off to Greece for a year to teach English

Sounds familiar

lol soze, heres hoping you get those 13 seconds!

I really dont understand this whole unobtainable thing, if you like someone whats the big deal, jeepers I mean if B2 was a chick but was still everything B2 is I'd still tap the hell out of him...her whatever.

I guess you have to think its just not meant to be whatever that means, but when I was younger it always seemed that the guys I went nuts over were totally uninterested in me, i used to wrack by brain worrying and thinking wtf was wrong with me, nothing was it was just that i didnt do it for them, cant be helped glad it didnt happen tbh because then i wouldnt have met my chap so i guess things either do or they dont but you have to remember its nothing wrong with you (or them tbh) its just what it is...

does that help at all or is it way too flim flammy?

I'm afraid I'm not as liberated as you Ez. There are definately some limits with my potential life-partners. Them having a willy is definately a no-no Just a sad thing my interrest had thesame limit... Btw, thanks for /hug

hmmmm
I've just been invited for a weekend of um....stuff with two girls and I didn't do anything. in fact, I really didn't do anything. nothing. at. all. I have now sworn to myself that it is pointless to attempt to understand women, because everything lies in what they infer, not what you do. regardless of what you actually do or say, things happen purely in their heads, poor blighters. not only am I pleased as fuck, I'm also hella scared, I shit you not. Also, I'm smart enough to realize that I may have "misunderstood" everything said to me, or whatever the hell kind of excuse they want to come up with.

Did I tell you I hate you?

OK you have got to be shitting me, I have had multiple crushes in high school and never once did the gal get the guy, never! I remember going to bed at night and my chest literally hurting and feeling so embarrassed and just down right defective that I was emo before emo was ever invented!

Then I got to an age where I learned that if I bent over a pool table in a certain way I could get pretty much any bloke I wanted, but it was a shag and that was it, I never got a bf which was what I actually wanted. I wanted someone to go to dinner and the movies with, play laser quest and share a pizza with and stuff, I never got that until I was twenty flipping two! and I have to say, not even looking for a relationship, i'd given up lol

So you guys getting rebuffed for shags etc thinking bah, these gals have all the power, I am nothing but a weak and feeble man reliant upon these women who can swat me like a fly!! It is all an illusion, OK some girls might "have that power" but most are faking it and just hoping that if they put out to the right guy she'll actually get someone who wants to stick around and get to know her...and if the guy doesnt the gal acts all aloof and "yeah like I care" as a way of protecting herself.

Honestly freddies! we are all just people none of us have mystic powers, none of us really knows any more than anyone else we are all just pissing in the wind and hoping for the best....which by the looks of it, Teedles got, wtg man awesome, but seriously remember these words:

-Its not just you
-Everyone gets rejected, some appear to cope with it better
-and really big flipping deal if they don't "like you in that way" their loss...although we have or will all act like a circus puppy trying to prove our worth at some point (and if you do, or have done...try not to remember it, its just embarrassing lol)

True... We just need to continue pissin' and wait for the wind to change direction

If it is not meant to be then it is not meant to be, have you ever thought that the reason you find them attractive IS because they are unattainable. Subconsciously this may appeal to lack of commitment.

I was locked away for the first 16 years of my life and when I came out blokes my own age just didn't interest me it was all about the older man. However older men get very old very quickly and as those who know me will tell you I am not adult in the slightest, in fact I think I have regressed.

It isn't about the shag it IS about being able to pr sit back and enjoy some tele, play computer games, go to the movies, lie / picnic in the park, get twatted on shorts and not worry that they wont love you anymore because you have filled the sink with vomit, getting a dose of the trots and not worrying that the smell will alienate them for ever.

Being able to walk around in just your pants / nekkid without worrying that they will criticise you physically, having a heated debate before bedtime and being able to sleep holding each other (useful advice my mum gave me and it actually works: never go to sleep on an argument).

The ability to express feelings without worrying that you will be mocked. The ability to tackle delicate subjects which cross your life path: work, health etc without worrying that your partner will take offense even if what you need to say is difficult (ie your partner or you has put on an unhealthy amount of weight or lost an unhealthy amount of weight and you are concerned for their / your health rather than how they / you look) ..... god I could go on and on and on and on.....

To TdC best of luck with your lesbo combo *grins* cant wait to hear about the encounter.

I've thought about it, but with this gal I didn't know on forehand that she was into chicks, but I do tend to go for the more independent or carreer girl, and it could just be that that's on average a difficult target group. For the rest.... True. It's about being accepted who and how you are.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Good advice, but sometimes easier said than done, and I definately don't make every girl a fucktarget. I'm not one to really go for one-night stands... Not my thing, and I'm rather specific with my GF-requirements

Good man, wish there were more like you to be honest

 

[Cerb]

Good man, wish there were more like you to be honest

I know you were refering to the fact that he doesnt make every girl a fucktarget with the good man comment but im going to pretend that you were talking about the one night stnad thing so i can cal you a WOMAN!!!!!

<3

 

[old.Tohtori]

I know you were refering to the fact that he doesnt make every girl a fucktarget with the good man comment but im going to pretend that you were talking about the one night stnad thing so i can cal you a WOMAN!!!!!

<3

I'd love to be compared to a woman

Honestly, it's actually a compliment.

But seriously, men have to learn.

 

[nath]

OK you have got to be shitting me, I have had multiple crushes in high school and never once did the gal get the guy, never! I remember going to bed at night and my chest literally hurting and feeling so embarrassed and just down right defective that I was emo before emo was ever invented!

Then I got to an age where I learned that if I bent over a pool table in a certain way I could get pretty much any bloke I wanted, but it was a shag and that was it, I never got a bf which was what I actually wanted. I wanted someone to go to dinner and the movies with, play laser quest and share a pizza with and stuff, I never got that until I was twenty flipping two! and I have to say, not even looking for a relationship, i'd given up lol

So you guys getting rebuffed for shags etc thinking bah, these gals have all the power, I am nothing but a weak and feeble man reliant upon these women who can swat me like a fly!! It is all an illusion, OK some girls might "have that power" but most are faking it and just hoping that if they put out to the right guy she'll actually get someone who wants to stick around and get to know her...and if the guy doesnt the gal acts all aloof and "yeah like I care" as a way of protecting herself.

Honestly freddies! we are all just people none of us have mystic powers, none of us really knows any more than anyone else we are all just pissing in the wind and hoping for the best....which by the looks of it, Teedles got, wtg man awesome, but seriously remember these words:

-Its not just you
-Everyone gets rejected, some appear to cope with it better
-and really big flipping deal if they don't "like you in that way" their loss...although we have or will all act like a circus puppy trying to prove our worth at some point (and if you do, or have done...try not to remember it, its just embarrassing lol)

Though I can certainly appreciate what you went through, and in that respect men and women can share the same crushing misery of rejection, you somewhat undermine your argument with what you say afterwards. "Then I got to an age where I learned that if I bent over a pool table in a certain way I could get pretty much any bloke I wanted" - that's a far more common trait for women than it is for men.

As you say, if you're after a serious relationship it doesn't necessarily help you find one but as you say, you can bend over a pool table and pull any guy you like (within reason) and that gives you a tremendous amount of power. You'd have to be superhuman to not let that knowledge of your power over the opposite sex go to your head. I'm not suggesting for a second that you use it to take advantage of men, but you said it yourself - you can pretty much get any bloke you want. Women are the dispensers of sex - it's understood that men always want it, women less so and as such you're in control*. I'm rambling and more or less forgotten my point, but I think it's a counter to your point that men and women are in the same position. Perhaps when it comes to straight up relationships we're all as lost as each other, but then when it comes to the physical side of things it's almost always women are in control.

It reminds me of that great line from High Fidelity "it was as if breasts were little pieces of property that had been unlawfully annexed by the opposite sex – they were rightfully ours and we wanted them back."




*Hurray for massive generalisations.

 

[tris-]

Also, how many guys do you know that keep women in a friend zone and lead the woman on?

NONE.

 

[soze]

Also, how many guys do you know that keep women in a friend zone and lead the woman on?

NONE.

No a bloke will try and turn said friend into a fuck buddy and leave them there untill they find a better fuck buddy or a realtionshit.

 

[Calaen]

Everything Yoni said made perfect sense though, a relationship will only work if you can put up with the bad things that your partner brings to the table as well as the good things.

As for the bending over the pool table thing, when it comes to sex the female always has control.

You'll get guys telling you to treat them bad to keep them interested and all that bollocks but tbh they just read to many books. If you think you like someone just ask them, nothing wrong with that at all atleast you find out where you stand, they know how you feel and you asking them may well flick a switch.

Or you could ask Toh he's well versed in pretending how it is done

 

[TdC]

To TdC best of luck with your lesbo combo *grins* cant wait to hear about the encounter.

cheers Yonikins. still in shock though.

Yoni is another of these relationship people who think that the rules of relationships work in every situation and that relationships are the only thing in the world

relationships certainly aren't the only thing in the world, but the rules always work. always. sure, sometimes you don't see it, but it's true.

Did I tell you I hate you?

don't worry about it mate. I don't know how I did it or I'd tell you, seriously.

it's understood that men always want it, women less so

so solly, but imo that's bullcrap. girls want it just as much as guys do.

 

[Sparx]

I agree, women want it just as much but some still think its unacceptable for a lady to want it up the bum

 

[nath]

so solly, but imo that's bullcrap. girls want it just as much as guys do.

Perhaps, but (massively generally speaking) women are still in charge of dispensing sex, for want of a better way to describe it. Again, it's a generalisation and doesn't necessarily apply to relationships but before it gets to that point.

 

[Sparx]

Perhaps, but (massively generally speaking) women are still in charge of dispensing sex, for want of a better way to describe it. Again, it's a generalisation and doesn't necessarily apply to relationships but before it gets to that point.

You just havent tried the right moves on the right laydeez then

Jim Jeffries explains it best

YouTube - Jim Jefferies: Studs/Sluts (HBO)

 

[nath]

You just havent tried the right moves on the right laydeez then

Doesn't that more or less validate my point? That men need moves, women just need to be there*.

Plus, Jim Jeffries is great .






*I'm all to aware that this is still a massssssssive generalisation and doesn't necessarily apply to anything more than random fucks but I think it still colours the sexual dynamic between men and women.

 

[TdC]

I can't argue with that. From a former relationship I can say I heard "no" a lot for various reasons and gave a "no" only seldom. On the other hand, when I was given a negative I was more or less expected to suck it up and take it, whereas if I dealt a negative there usually were tears and problems dealing with the rejection.

I know that's a different issue, but hey it popped into my mind.

 

[nath]

That's more or less exactly the dynamic I'm talking about, and personally I think it fucking stinks. However it's just genetics I suppose, no one is at fault.


Meh, I just despise humanity.

 

[TheBinarySurfer]

Lets shatter this myth shall we?

The courtship / interactions leading up to sex are no different to a business negotiation (no jokes!) in that the person who allows their intent to be known clearly can be manipulated by the other party because they understand your goal and can therefore predict with reasonable accuracy what will happen next. Simply put, information is power and men give away more information usually.

A better analogy might be poker - if you can see the cards of the person you're playing with it's easy to win / know when to fold. If neither of you can see each others cards it becomes much tougher.

Speaking generally, the man show's his cards at a much earlier point, and hence the woman has the upper hand.

 

[Lamp]

Rofl

 

[mooSe_]

Meh, I just despise humanity.

Yes!

 

[Yoni]

Perhaps, but (massively generally speaking) women are still in charge of dispensing sex, for want of a better way to describe it. Again, it's a generalisation and doesn't necessarily apply to relationships but before it gets to that point.

You haven't met the right girl then......

I do compare my relationships with my parents and the men I encounter have a lot to live up to. Lets face it my parents are mid 70's and still shag like rabbits as well as do all the comfortable companionship stuff and maintain separate interests. In my opinion they are doing something right

Yet another piece of highly valuable advice my mum gave to me was that when she was getting married she had to go for religious instruction with my dad (they are catholics). The advice my mum was given was that she was to put out whenever my father wanted regardless of how she felt. Now I am not saying that she did that all the time however I do believe she keeps that in mind, along sidethe fact in order to please your man you need to be the perfect hostess, the most amazing chef and a whore in the bedroom

As I said it works for them and I really do aspire to be 70 and have someone that I can grow old in the way they are doing (as well as take heroin for the first time on my 70th birthday).

Thot we are human of course relationships / human interaction at all levels is important, it is what makes us human and yes there are rules and a lot of give and take to make both kinds of relationship work long term. I value platonic friendships as much as I do intimate ones , I have few 'bosom buddies' (ie people who I would trust with anything) so the maintenance of my relationship with those individuals as and their well-being as well as my partners is of the utmost importance to me.

 

[nath]

You haven't met the right girl then......

Well I didn't really mean that with respect to proper relationships, more with respect to general sexual attraction prior to anything more serious. My point was that it's hard to imagine that doesn't affect the mindset of both men and women given that that's so frequently how the dynamic works. Again, of course it's a massive generalisation and won't apply to everyone but I do think it has some grounds in reality.

 

[Ezteq]

ow everyone missed my point totally, OK so girls have the power to dish out the sex0r but in my case i didnt want it (well i did lol but ...) what I really wanted was the relationshipz0r which the MEN could have dished out but didnt so..

as Yoni said earlier about putting out (I was under the false impression that guys like you if you do this) I put out with the hope of getting a relationship which i could not get with out the MEN actually saying yeah OK i'll hang out with you.

guys and gals have different powers in different areas (i.e. what one wants the other may not) was the point i tried and failed to make

anyway....*COUGH* Update on lesbian freddymolestation please...how did it go/is it going? and if your reading this while doing it, it wont end well tbh

 

[TdC]

no news, sorry. though supposedly I am meeting (not meating) one of the organisers tonight. sadly I also have to work from 0:00 to 4:00 :/