Rant UHT milk

[Tom]

This shite is everywhere in Europe. Every time I order a coffee in an airport cafe or similar, it comes with UHT milk. I went to a French supermarket and bought a load of nice bread, veg, cheese, all lovely. I also bought a bottle of milk, from the fridge part so I knew it wasn't sterilised crap, but when I got to my hotel room I discovered it was some kind of fermented poison. Seriously, it's labelled "lait fermente maigre". What kind of sick demented people are these, who all drink this disgusting filthy substance? Why the fuck can't they just sell normal milk so I can have a cup of tea that doesn't taste like my socks?

Also, why is Britain the only country in the world who makes proper bacon and not shrivelled streaky crap?

 

[Raven]

The clue is in the name, no?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Goes to France. Calls it "everywhere in europe".

Buys wrong kind of milk, says normal milk isn't sold.

Solid story

 

[Zarjazz]

Could be worse, it could have read "lait de l'homme"

 

[leggy]

Agree with Tom. Spain and France are the worst for this shit. Germany not so bad but it's still fairly prolific.

I can only assume that they like the taste of curdled semen in their coffee.

 

[Raven]

Well...you wouldn't put yogurt in your coffee would you? Or butter milk? Its just another dairy product. a slightly weird one mind but meh, its a foreign country.

I am sure if you look hard enough you could find demi ecreme lait or whatever. I imagine Tom's the sort of person that gets all shouty if he can't get a full English on the continent.

 

[Zarjazz]

Well...you wouldn't put yogurt in your coffee would you? Or butter milk?

Actually coffee with butter isn't that uncommon. I think there's even a few nations that put it in tea (but that's just wrong!)

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yeah UHT and fermented milk aren't really the same thing. UHT is just megaprocessed instamilk(airports etc, figures, what would one expect from airport coffee ), fermented milk should never go near coffee.

It's akin to yoghurt.

 

[caLLous]

This shite is everywhere in Europe. Every time I order a coffee in an airport cafe or similar, it comes with UHT milk. I went to a French supermarket and bought a load of nice bread, veg, cheese, all lovely. I also bought a bottle of milk, from the fridge part so I knew it wasn't sterilised crap, but when I got to my hotel room I discovered it was some kind of fermented poison. Seriously, it's labelled "lait fermente maigre". What kind of sick demented people are these, who all drink this disgusting filthy substance? Why the fuck can't they just sell normal milk so I can have a cup of tea that doesn't taste like my socks?

Also, why is Britain the only country in the world who makes proper bacon and not shrivelled streaky crap?

Look, I'm trying, OK? The French just don't really do fresh milk.

I'm surprised you found UHT shite in the fridge bit, though.

 

[Billargh]

Is it cause you use all your real milk making cheese/

 

[Raven]

To eat while surrendering.

 

[Hawkwind]

I've never had any issue getting proper fresh milk in a French Supermarket. They usually have both.

 

[caLLous]

Yes they do but they typically have a small section of fridge space dedicated to fresh and then half an aisle for long life. And if you go into petrol stations and smaller, Spar-sized shops you'll be very lucky to find fresh.

 

[old.Tohtori]

10% of British consumption is UHT too

 

[old.Tohtori]

@Angrist rather curious, what was the bad spelling/grammar there?

 

[Angrist]

Sorry mate. Browsing on my phone. Fat fingers 'n all that

 

[caLLous]

You shouldn't start a sentence with a number in number form and you forgot the full stop.

 

[Raven]

10% of British consumption is UHT too

Yep, makes sense to have it in places like offices, hotel rooms, petrol stations etc because it avoids wastage. Always handy to have a carton in the cupboard at home too for emergencies.

Lack of milk for a cup of tea is an emergency.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You shouldn't start a sentence with a number in number form and you forgot the full stop.

Smileys are full stops!

 

[Zarjazz]

10% of British consumption is UHT too

That sounds way too high to me, I can't even remember the last time I saw UHT milk in a UK store.

 

[mooSe_]

They do sell it in UK supermarkets. Only time I'd buy it is if I was going camping and wanted to make tea or something though.

 

[Hawkwind]

10% of British consumption is UHT too

probably the same number for those with extreme mental issues, could it be a coincidence

 

[Hawkwind]

That sounds way too high to me, I can't even remember the last time I saw UHT milk in a UK store.

coffee vending machines, hotels and offices...

 

[Scouse]

10% of British consumption is UHT too

Don't know how - unless it's corporate consumption.

I've only ever known one person who buys UHT - and he's seriously weird.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Don't know how - unless it's corporate consumption.

I've only ever known one person who buys UHT - and he's seriously weird.

Even if you knew 5% of the populatin of the British denizens you might still not know the people using UHT

Long lasting milk is really good for cabins, camping etc so i'm guessing that + corporate/airport etc use will cover it.

 

[Scouse]

corporate/airport etc use will cover it.

Camp all the time and we always get fresh. UHT tastes like shit. So yes - corporate/airport is the vast majority of that 10% - as I said.

 

[Rubric]

coffee vending machines, hotels and offices...

They have it in the isle nobody ever goes down, doesnt matter as it lasts longer than sweetcorn in digestive juices. Rumour has some of it is left over from the war.

 

[old.Tohtori]

UHT tastes like shit.

Probably different then around here, we mostly use low-lactose milk(to say it easy) if we want to store it longer anyway. It's usually fine 2 months in a cupboard so it's a really good way to store backup coffee milk.

I personally don't use that much milk, outside cooking/baking(rarely) and coffee. With coffee it's all the same what you use in the morning. It's not to be enjoyed but to wake you the hell up

 

[Moriath]

To eat while surrendering.

Ok we can slander a whole country but get girly when taunted about our size.

 

[Moriath]

You all taking the 10% as gospel. Would like to see links to back it up