Typical job speak.

[WPKenny]

Just wondering what people are most likely to be heard saying while doing their job.

I'll start.

"A reboot should fix it..."

 

[Doh_boy]

The system I work on is very big and tends to be endlessly suprising in the ways it manages to break so there's nothing along the 'oh the <bit> has gone again..'

BUT it is a realtime system so we tend to say 'When can we release it to the live system' a hell of a lot.

I've left my days of 'a reboot should sort it..' behind me.........hopefully

 

[throdgrain]

I say "I need to take a payment today to get your account back up todate" rather a lot lately .

 

[Lester]

Then we have to guess what the job is right?

WPKenny: Kwik fit Fitter?

Doh_Boy: Biological Weapons Developer?

Throdgrain: Prostitute?

 

[Wij]

"One more push should do it !"

 

[mycenae]

'He's positive/negative in balance, do you want to treat it?'

 

[Doh_boy]

Then we have to guess what the job is right?
Doh_Boy: Biological Weapons Developer?

If only!

I have a friend who works for a company that builds satellites, if that helps?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Game industry. From coders. Like clockwork:

"Well it should work."

or

"Working as intended."

 

[tris-]

mc donalds lingo is pretty un heard of unless you work in there

"i will do the dive"

probably impossible to guess what it is :\

 

[Doh_boy]

mc donalds lingo is pretty un heard of unless you work in there

"i will do the dive"

probably impossible to guess what it is :\

Lol I forgot about that! mehehehe, oh aye, I always had to do the dive!

Do they still say 'We've only got 6 ham in the bin'? I'm sure we were told to stop using that.

You're also probably too young to remember 'Hustle' which was used instead of 'Fucking hurry up you lazy bastards' but was stopped because of health and safety reasons

 

[tris-]

Lol I forgot about that! mehehehe, oh aye, I always had to do the dive!

Do they still say 'We've only got 6 ham in the bin'? I'm sure we were told to stop using that.

You're also probably too young to remember 'Hustle' which was used instead of 'Fucking hurry up you lazy bastards' but was stopped because of health and safety reasons

rofl, someone else knows the words. i fuckin hate doin the dive, not only do you get soaked but half the time the jet washer has no power.

why would you stop saying that, id say its quite vital to relay a number and the product to the people making.
though if you dont say that, who ever is making regular will shout "cheese on 8" to which youd reply a number of how many burgers should be cheesed.

oh the fun we have

btw im not sure they know the meaning of health and safety. not only is chicken left in the UHC for hours on end before being served, no one uses yellow wet floor cones or puts the grills to standby. i did go flying onto my ass one day carrying a box of fries and i thought i was gonna die. it could of landed into the vats and splashed oil all over me while i lay on the floor with a gaping head wound.

 

[old.user4556]

"system testers are useless twats"

 

[Munkey]

rofl, someone else knows the words. i fuckin hate doin the dive, not only do you get soaked but half the time the jet washer has no power.

why would you stop saying that, id say its quite vital to relay a number and the product to the people making.
though if you dont say that, who ever is making regular will shout "cheese on 8" to which youd reply a number of how many burgers should be cheesed.

oh the fun we have

btw im not sure they know the meaning of health and safety. not only is chicken left in the UHC for hours on end before being served, no one uses yellow wet floor cones or puts the grills to standby. i did go flying onto my ass one day carrying a box of fries and i thought i was gonna die. it could of landed into the vats and splashed oil all over me while i lay on the floor with a gaping head wound.

I still have the uniform from my local Maccy D's. Was quite the experience, I went from fries *beep beep beep* to tills, never got to the burger making bit. Nice to know some other people still subscribe to the student experience.

 

[Alan]

"Whats the help desk ref#..... ohh... right call the helpdesk on xxxxxx and get it logged there"

Damn users calling me direct.

 

[Draylor]

"Stupid fucking thing"
"It used to work ...."
"Fuck it, Ill do it tomorrow"

 

[Wij]

"system testers are useless twats"

That explains a lot

 

[Skyler]

Sorry sir/madam it appears to be a classic case of UTS.

 

[TdC]

"if you call me again today I will drive to Amsterdam and fucking kill you"

"whichever designer who thought this server would actually work in this setup deserves lingering death"

"my manager told me something really funny about you the other day"

 

[Paradroid]

"I'm firing it off now."

 

[phazey]

Because of the language barrier here, i've introduced a few of my own acronyms to meeting minutes. eg:

<Boss> What's the status of the optic upgrade for the sector 12 DSL sites.
<Me> NFI.

Everyone else thinks NFI means "Needs Further Investigation" - But i think we all know what i reall mean

Won a fiver playing "buzzword bingo" at the last meeting too

 

[Trem]

"whats on after Trisha Samm?"

 

[leggy]

"whats on after Trisha Samm?"

Brilliant!

I'll go:

"She looks a bit russian doesn't she?"

"That finance bird has a quality arse"

"Did you hear?... Alan was covered in an exploding fireball yesterday"

 

[Sharma]

The line I always have to say, every sodding customer, every day.

"Can I have your makro card please?"

 

[tris-]

any chance you could blag me a makro card sharma?

 

[Sharma]

nib, you need to get your manager or something to do that.

 

[ZiggY]

ONE ON! your going to be work in a red zone today your place of safety is the down cess.

Railway bollocks

 

[Rubber Bullets]

'If you do the hip in D I'll take the knee into A and try to get to the finger before you do'

RB

 

[MYstIC G]

"Fuck's sake!"

 

[soze]

fucking tool
fucking tit
wanker

ect when i hang up the phone

and "re cycle the power supply" i use that alot when people say please do not tell me to turn it off and on again

 

[Dukat]

"I HATE MY WORK!!"

"and what happens if i dont? do i get the sack? please?"