Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

Cozak

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jan 15, 2004
Messages
2,871
Amazon.com: Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes: Apparel

This page is just priceless!

The: Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed:

and the 250 or so customer reviews on there.. havent read them all yet, working through them now some quality ones!

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

This shirt is all the awesomeness you've read about, but do not let your thirst for wolf power consume you. I put on this shirt 42 days ago and could not find the willpower to remove it due to the power it gave me... It didn't matter if I was at the New Walmart, the Sheetz, the trailer park, or the Old Walmart - women wouldn't stop talking to me. Before wearing this shirt I could count the number of women who had taken that kind of interest in me on my one good hand.

About two weeks ago, I noticed the shirt begining to wear out from wearing it for 26 days straight. A few wear-holes are great, and actually increase the shirt's effectiveness... but I worried about what would happen when the shirt had so many holes that I would no long stay on me.

At that moment the smell of a shirt worn for 26 days straight overcame me and I slipped into a spirit vision. In my vision, the wolves on the shirt came to life, spoke, and told me what I needed to do. Tamiku (What the middle wolf said was his name) said that I should just buy a new shirt every 3 weeks. Tamiku was very logical and seemed the smartest of the three wolves... however he does not understand the importance of my lottery budget to my retirement plans that I cannot give up so I can buy a new shirt that often.

Riktan and Suthishu, the other two wolves, suggested that I instead have the three wolves and the moon tattoo'd directly to my chest. This immediately made sense as before buying this shirt I typically didn't wear a shirt except for weddings outside of the immediate family. Having this tattoo'd design meant I could go back to that way of life in time for Summer.

When I awoke from the dream 3 days latter in the middle of the parking lot behind the liquor store, I immediately went about the tatto plan. I asked my best friend Lenny if he could assist me. Lenny called up Skeeter, the guy who did all his tattoos when they were in prison together. Skeeter said he was up to the job, told me to drink a fith and he'd be over in an hour.
 

collegien

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Feb 6, 2004
Messages
600
LOl some funneh ones there :)

I know that the human being and the fish can coexist. Why not the human and the wolf tee-shirt?

Rarely is the question asked: is our children wearing the wolf tee-shirt?

Will the highways of the Internet become more few? They will! Unless you get this tee-shirt.

This wolf tee-shirt is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right. And wearing this tee-shirt is right.

I wish you'd have given me this tee-shirt ahead of time so I could plan for it...I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet....I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't -- you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one. SAY!!! Is that one of wolf tee-shirts?

There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again.

Don't be a fool! Get this shirt.
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,538
Awesome tbfh, I am getting one for my Birthday fucking fact!!!!
 

Ch3tan

I aer teh win!!
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
27,318
You know what be cool cal? If you posed in a pic wearing a 3 wolf t-shirt and a jayne hat at the same time. Imagine how much clunge you would attract wearing an outfit like that!
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
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People who read this thread also navigated to

howtocookadolphin.com
howmuchbaconcanIfitupmyanus.com
 

Cozak

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jan 15, 2004
Messages
2,871
I find the "customers also viewed" selection to be completely awesome o0

Amazon.com: Zubaz Pants: Apparel

hhaha yes:
How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much (Paperback)
by Richard Jacob (Author), Owen Thomas (Author)
Key Phrases: overhung men, huge penises, affirmation journal, Uncontrollable Rage

Amazon.com: How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much: Richard Jacob, Owen Thomas: Books
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,538
You know what be cool cal? If you posed in a pic wearing a 3 wolf t-shirt and a jayne hat at the same time. Imagine how much clunge you would attract wearing an outfit like that!

OMFG and a pair of knickers!!!!

I would be the win!!!!!
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,538
Sales of the T-shirt have shot through the roof!!!!!!
 

pikeh

Resident Freddy
Joined
Aug 28, 2004
Messages
5,032
you just know some indie little fuckers are gonna be wearing those to be 'ironic'
 

Cozak

Part of the furniture
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Jan 15, 2004
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lol, thats amazing, cant believe it made bbc news :)
 

Ch3tan

I aer teh win!!
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
27,318
The company making it should really be happy, not moaning. Silly twits :)
 

fettoken

I am a FH squatter
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Jul 18, 2004
Messages
9,640
Maybe we could produce a stylish FH shirt and spam it with insane reviews to make people buy it like crazy. It seems to work.
 

Cozak

Part of the furniture
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Jan 15, 2004
Messages
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Does indeed seem to work, the three wolf moon shirt was picked by the anon's of 4chan for a miniraid and it made the news. No reason we cant try it!
 

CorNokZ

Currently a stay at home dad
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
19,780
To describe 4chan in three words I'd say: "Changes you forever"...

 

Cozak

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jan 15, 2004
Messages
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Haha couldnt agree more, fucking wierd, wierd forums! /b/ :ninja:
awesome .jpg
 

CorNokZ

Currently a stay at home dad
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
19,780
/b/ is fubar, but some of the other forums are quite nice, such as /r9k/, /wg/, /w/, /sp/ and ofc /hc/ :D
 

Aoami

I am a FH squatter
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Dec 22, 2003
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11,223
i cant beleive that someone actually linked to four|=|-|/\|\|. it actually depressess me.
 

Jeros

Part of the furniture
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Dec 27, 2003
Messages
1,983
FFS first two rules guys!

Also rule 34 on lamp pls
 

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