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[Scouse]

Which is a conundrum for the right..terrible invasion of freedom, but a financial goldmine.

If principles are so easily discarded for money then you really should call the right what they are: whores.

 

[Job]

I thought of this in the freakin 90s, I can see it taking off.
Dead IRL | Mostly Human

 

[CorNokZ]

I seriously consider taking my own life every time someone texts me, but if I can't even chill in heaven without having people asking me shit and saying how much this miss me, what's the point then?

 

[dysfunction]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh4f9AYRCZY


One for @Scouse and his dislike of children...

 

[Tom]

In honour of British Pie Week I have done 320 miles this week and eaten a pie on each ride, every day.

 

[Lamp]

Roughly 5,900 pounds. It is 28 feet long and we just got it today. Hopefully we'll be able to go out tomorrow

You're gonna need a bigger boat

 

[Lamp]

Just been to the dentist.

"So, Lamp when are you going to syop smoking?"
/ disapproval

*Lamp mumbles about soon

Dentist then tells me he's restarted after having given up for 25 years! Stress.

Stress? I go in, get 2 xrays, he cleans my teeth and I hand over £110.

 

[fettoken]

Gaga's hot as fuck.

 

[Raven]

Steady now, just don't go down there.

 

[Moriath]

Gaga's hot as fuck.

She vocals well with that style of music.

 

[TdC]

Steady now, just don't go down there.

is that what Mrs Raven said last night?

 

[Raven]

Every night

 

[fettoken]

You desperately need to change things up mate. Butter your thumb and surprise her with it up her anal cavity (probs the last time i´ll use that terminology, sorry), i guarantee there will be laughs, at some point..

Edit: Get her to have a proper shit and bowel cleansing before commencing, but don't tell her what it's for. It's the element of surprise that you're after.

(taking it a bit too far..)

 

[Job]

Joan Collins as a teenager...ain't ageing a bitch.

 

[fettoken]

 

[CorNokZ]

You're gonna need a bigger boat

Iswydt

 

[Job]

I have never heard of a Sommelier, apparently they are posh wine experts at restaurants, this article from decanter.com sums up the fantastic world of wine snobbery.
It's like they are not aware how fucking ludicrous they sound.

In the restaurant: What to say to a sommelier - Decanter

 

[TdC]

I have never heard of a Sommelier

which one?

 

[old.user4556]

In honour of British Pie Week I have done 320 miles this week and eaten a pie on each ride, every day.

View attachment 35893 View attachment 35894 View attachment 35895 View attachment 35896 View attachment 35897 View attachment 35898 View attachment 35899

Exceptional work sir. I fucking love a pie.

 

[caLLous]

I miss pies. Like, proper pies. They don't exist in France.

 

[Raven]

Make them then. They aren't that hard.

 

[Bodhi]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LxOWoHxAAY

 

[TdC]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LxOWoHxAAY

actually going to see TBL on Friday. complimentary white russian

 

[Bodhi]

actually going to see TBL on Friday. complimentary white russian

Still in my top 3 fave filums of all time, with Fear and Loathing and Super Troopers.

"I am here to fix Das fridge ja?

You can guess what happens next.

He fixes the fridge?"

 

[TdC]

cable, he fixes the cable

 

[Bodhi]

D'oh! Looks like I'm going to have to watch it again

 

[georgie]

He comes to fix the fridge but fixes the cable?

 

[Raven]

Still in my top 3 fave filums of all time, with Fear and Loathing and Super Troopers.

"I am here to fix Das fridge ja?

You can guess what happens next.

He fixes the fridge?"

Less Super Troopers, more Tropic Thunder, otherwise I agree.

 

[Raven]

As a little side project while taking a shit I have been seeing how many toilet roll middles can fit inside a single toilet roll middle. The only rule is that they have to either slot inside one another or rolled up.
The answer is 16, though with a bit of forward planning I reckon I could do 18, possibly 19 at a pinch.

 

[Job]

Do you store you old toilet rolls or is this dump requiring 600ft of Andrex.