SPAM This thread is for random spam!!

Hawkwind

FH is my second home
Joined
Jul 5, 2004
Messages
7,541
Old but quite funny if you understand the lingo.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
 

Tom

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
17,464
Even though I shouldn't buy a new bike this year (having bought two in the last 15 months) I can't stop looking at titanium road bike frames. So shiny:

largeRoad.jpg

largeAudax.jpg
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
37,447
Even though I shouldn't buy a new bike this year (having bought two in the last 15 months) I can't stop looking at titanium road bike frames.
I really want one of these and was hoping to buy one in the US when I go as, before all the Brexit shite I could pick one up about 900 quid cheaper.

However, now the pound is piss weak, the fact that there's a 2.99% credit card charge and about 8-10% sales tax in every state but Oregon I'd only save myself 200 quid, so I'm thinking of taking my own bike over instead.

But I *really* want one :(
 

Tom

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
17,464
I really want one of these and was hoping to buy one in the US when I go as, before all the Brexit shite I could pick one up about 900 quid cheaper.

However, now the pound is piss weak, the fact that there's a 2.99% credit card charge and about 8-10% sales tax in every state but Oregon I'd only save myself 200 quid, so I'm thinking of taking my own bike over instead.

But I *really* want one :(

Mike’s 29er | English Cycles
 

Embattle

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,755
Reminds me I must really go and bleed my brakes since the back is jammed on atm.
 

Hawkwind

FH is my second home
Joined
Jul 5, 2004
Messages
7,541
I really want one of these and was hoping to buy one in the US when I go as, before all the Brexit shite I could pick one up about 900 quid cheaper.

However, now the pound is piss weak, the fact that there's a 2.99% credit card charge and about 8-10% sales tax in every state but Oregon I'd only save myself 200 quid, so I'm thinking of taking my own bike over instead.

But I *really* want one :(

I love the weak pound, my monthly AED transfer to UK is giving me an extra 500 GBP. dropped like 10% in last month :)
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
37,447
Anything with Fred in it should cheer anyone but the dead of heart up :)
 

Tom

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
17,464
Reminds me I must really go and bleed my brakes since the back is jammed on atm.

Unlikely to be anything to do with brake bleeding, more likely to do with crap around the pistons. Remove the brake pads, clean around the pistons with a toothbrush, and force them back in with a big fat flat screwdriver.
 

Embattle

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,755
Well they look fairly clean since the bike hasn't been used much, it could of also been someone smacking the disc but I'll check it all....soonish ;)
 

Tom

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
17,464
You'll know if your brakes need bleeding as the lever will be spongy as hell, with much reduced braking force. Air in the lines does that.
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
37,447
You'll know if your brakes need bleeding as the lever will be spongy as hell, with much reduced braking force. Air in the lines does that.
Just what I've had fixed today.

Taking my bike to the states in 5 hours and counting. Dirty Brit about to show Yanks how it's* done.










*Drinking, that is. They'll rape me on the trails :)
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,925
although a description of said alleged trailrape would be acceptable.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,925
always be merry!

Merry Men

(note: oglaf is NSFW if your work are whiny bitches who find drawings of genitals offensive. or humor. or humorous drawings of genitals.)
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,259
I need a few laptop recomm endations. Something I can buy today.

It's only going to be used for data transfer between flash drives, rooting, word and excel. That's it. No games no video editing.

Must have wifi, at least three usb ports, and 2 TB HD
Don't want to spend more than I have to on it

Ideas?
 

Job

The Carl Pilkington of Freddyshouse
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
21,652
I get a weird feeling in my legs just watching that.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

  • Top Bottom