This Joke Never Gets OLD!!

F

frogster

Guest
Two mexicans, Pepe and Emilio have been lost in the desert for weeks. With very little water and no food, things are looking bleak.
Just as they are about to give up, Pete notices something in the distance.
"Emiliiooooooo! We are saved!" screams Pepe, pointing to the distance.
Sure enough, a few hundred metres infront of them is tree, draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon.
Salivating, Pepe runs forward
"Eeees a bacon tree!" he yells.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, machine gun fire shoots Pepe down in his tracks..

"Pepe! Pepe! What eeees eeet?"
"Run Emilio" <cough>
"eeees not a bacon treee, eees a Ham Bush!!"
 
O

old.Jeriraa

Guest
It took me like a minute to get it. Am I slow? :(
 
M

maxgirth

Guest
My fav joke.

Wife returns home from town with 2 costumes, for the fancy dress party, " i`m back" she says, " let`s have a look", replies hubby, " noo wait till tonight " she states.
Just before they`re about to get ready, she gets a minging headache, " I need to lay down, i`m feeling terrible " she mumbles " "aww ok" says hubby, who then dresses in his batman suit and leaves for the party.
After an hour in bed, wifey awakes, and feels great, I think i`ll go to the party now, as she`s getting ready in her catwoman outfit, she has a sinister feeling of going to the party, and spying on hubby, to see what he gets up to, when she`s not around.
On arrival her suspicions seem to have grounds, there in full view is batman cavorting with a french maid, and a st trinians lass, right she thinks, here I go, stepping in between her 2 adversaries, she starts putting on 1 helluva show, and sure enough, within 10 minutes she`s on the back seat of her hubbys car having the best sex she`s had in ages.
After it`s all over, she gets a cab, goes home and gets into bed, to be woken by her husband no to long after, " how you feeling hun?", was his 1st question, " not to bad, how was the party ?", she replied, " well tbh, I missed you so much, that I sat in the back room all night, playing cards with dave, pete, and paul.
You fucking dirty lying bastard, she thought, and just before she was about to blow her top, hubby replied, " but I lent my car keys and outfit to dad, and he said he had the time of his life".
 
G

Gamah

Guest
Originally posted by maxgirth
My fav joke.

Wife returns home from town with 2 costumes, for the fancy dress party, " i`m back" she says, " let`s have a look", replies hubby, " noo wait till tonight " she states.
Just before they`re about to get ready, she gets a minging headache, " I need to lay down, i`m feeling terrible " she mumbles " "aww ok" says hubby, who then dresses in his batman suit and leaves for the party.
After an hour in bed, wifey awakes, and feels great, I think i`ll go to the party now, as she`s getting ready in her catwoman outfit, she has a sinister feeling of going to the party, and spying on hubby, to see what he gets up to, when she`s not around.
On arrival her suspicions seem to have grounds, there in full view is batman cavorting with a french maid, and a st trinians lass, right she thinks, here I go, stepping in between her 2 adversaries, she starts putting on 1 helluva show, and sure enough, within 10 minutes she`s on the back seat of her hubbys car having the best sex she`s had in ages.
After it`s all over, she gets a cab, goes home and gets into bed, to be woken by her husband no to long after, " how you feeling hun?", was his 1st question, " not to bad, how was the party ?", she replied, " well tbh, I missed you so much, that I sat in the back room all night, playing cards with dave, pete, and paul.
You fucking dirty lying bastard, she thought, and just before she was about to blow her top, hubby replied, " but I lent my car keys and outfit to dad, and he said he had the time of his life".
Click to expand...

made me laugh not irl though
 
C

chretien

Guest
The best joke ever is this one:

What's ET short for?




Cos he's only got little legs.


Ifankyoo
 
X

XeffoInfil

Guest
Originally posted by old.SadonTheGrey
The best joke ever is this one:

What's ET short for?




Cos he's only got little legs.


Ifankyoo


^^
Click to expand...

now that joke wtfpwns
 
A

Arcos

Guest
Originally posted by frogster
Two mexicans, Pepe and Emilio have been lost in the desert for weeks. With very little water and no food, things are looking bleak.
Just as they are about to give up, Pete notices something in the distance.
"Emiliiooooooo! We are saved!" screams Pepe, pointing to the distance.
Sure enough, a few hundred metres infront of them is tree, draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon.
Salivating, Pepe runs forward
"Eeees a bacon tree!" he yells.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, machine gun fire shoots Pepe down in his tracks..

"Pepe! Pepe! What eeees eeet?"
"Run Emilio" <cough>
"eeees not a bacon treee, eees a Ham Bush!!"
Click to expand...


i gniffled irl.... :eek:
 
S

'Shy

Guest
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cos it was stuck to the chickens foot.

Boom boom.
 
B

Bigade

Guest
why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side
 
M

Mid - Kirinia

Guest
Originally posted by Bigade
why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side
Click to expand...

23_4_34.gif



.../hug ;)
 
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