Things you say when you don't realise what you're saying...erm

[Ezteq]

Anyway, was having this conversation last evening in the pub about when people say something and it has a far dirtier meaning than they ever intended or realised and yet they are totally oblivious to what they've just said...

Then ironically while out with my friend doing the xmas shopping this afternoon and discussing the benefits of corsets the conversation went along these lines (and I believe this is verbatim):


Me: Yes well, although it was a cold evening I was actually quite warm, I think it has something to do with all the boning inside it...

Friend: I bet it did you dirty cow!

Random man in line at Costa: *CHOKE*

Me: Argh!! I meant...argh, FAIL!! Latte to go please...no foam.


Come on then, we've all done it (I frequently do it) what's been your (or someone elses in your earshot) best unintentional slip of the tongue?

 

[Huntingtons]

the tone in our apartment is quite rough when we cook, unfortunatly i spew alot of bullshit and sometimes my sentances turn out waaay too queer, when i intented them to be bad-ass, and the kitchen goes silent for a few secs

 

[CorNokZ]

You can order latte without the foam? When I go out with a friend of mine she always asks for as little foam as possible and I've yet to see it happen...

 

[TdC]

why order a no foam latte in the first place? it's all about the FOAM

 

[Lamp]

see, this is what's mad about today's coffee shops - if you're thirsty, and go up to the counter & say "I'd like a coffee please", they say "do you want a frappamoccacappa superskinnylatte americana with 2 shots & marmite syrup, chocolate & horse saliva foam, sir?" and then look at you as if you're an idiot when you look at them blankly. No! I just want a cup of coffee FFS !

 

[Huntingtons]

What is wrong with todays coffee shops is they dont sell weed, unless youre in amsterdam quite possibly soon copenhagen too!

 

[Zenith.UK]

why order a no foam latte in the first place? it's all about the FOAM

If you want foam, order a cappuccino.
If you want a milky coffee ask for a latte.
Less foam the better.

 

[Lamp]

If you want foam, just give a bulldog a sherbert dib-dab to eat

 

[TdC]

If you want foam, order a cappuccino.
If you want a milky coffee ask for a latte.
Less foam the better.

aha sorry I only ever drink Latte Macchiato or Cappuccino when not at home. Latte M has foam. pardon my assumption

 

[Ormorof]

see, this is what's mad about today's coffee shops - if you're thirsty, and go up to the counter & say "I'd like a coffee please", they say "do you want a frappamoccacappa superskinnylatte americana with 2 shots & marmite syrup, chocolate & horse saliva foam, sir?" and then look at you as if you're an idiot when you look at them blankly. No! I just want a cup of coffee FFS !

coffee flavored coffee please

black coffee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

or chocolate coffee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Jiggs]

If you can find a place that sells it, try a matcha latte, it's pure rocket fuel.

 

[Vasconcelos]

Espresso Machiatto Dopio

the rest of the "coffee" mixes are for sissies

 

[old.Tohtori]

Coffee from a coffee pot at the local kiosk if i need any *nod*

Anyway, i speak double-stuff all the time, by accident and not by accident and i can basically twist anything to sound dirty

 

[Ormorof]

im not sure if i am just immature, but i swear i HEAR it more than most!

i had a conversation a few weeks ago with a psychologist friend of mine and he was waving his hands around trying to make a funnel shape with a big long pole pushing it in while trying to explain the idea of "emotional bottlenecking" and i was in stitches laughing my freaking ass off (he made a V style shape then pushed a finger in at the base of the V hihihihihihihi)

he was not amused

also i find myself saying "maybe later" or "for starters" and winking at people alot too...

 

[pikeh]

When I used to work at Sainsburys at Uni, one of our chip + pin machines was a bit tough to get your card in properly.

"Shove it in a bit harder, its stiff" came out a few times.

 

[Sparx]

Anyway, was having this conversation last evening in the pub about when people say something and it has a far dirtier meaning than they ever intended or realised and yet they are totally oblivious to what they've just said...

My friends and I call this a bishop. As soon as someone says something unintentional everyone has to call out "BISHOP"