Things I have learnt this year.

[Damini]

Fillings don't just grow back, no matter how much you hope they will.

If a naked drunk man falls down, and there's no-one there to see it, it will still make your ceiling light wobble a bit.

Reading The Road != happy making, nor pleasant dreams. Reading The Road means you will sigh approximately ten times more than usual, and then dream about removing people's legs for nutritional noms.

If you make a slice of pate on toast, and then catch your cat eating it, do not forget, look down, get excited about finding pate on toast, and then eat it. This is the path to madness and worms.

If Kenny eats four double cheeseburgers, and a large fries, he will refuse to accept that this is the reason he has stomach ache in the middle of the night. It is a RANDOM event, caused by a butterfly in the rainforest, beating its wings.

Customers do not like it if you imply that they may be pedophiles, even if you do it in a light hearted, joking fashion.

If you find a baby at work, after thirty days are up and nobody has claimed it, it does not mean you are allowed to take it home.

Ancient Ashmore is the best cheese in the world.

Anyone else got any gems of wisdom to share? Feel like being enlightened.

 

[Edmond]

LOL :lol:

 

[Overdriven]

. It is a RANDOM event, caused by a butterfly in the rainforest, beating its wings.

God dammit, it's true. [Why do all women disagree?!]

 

[Ch3tan]

I have nothing to share, but I have a strong urge to try this Ancient Ashmore - is it readily available in the supermarkets?

 

[Damini]

Nope. It's a local Canterbury cheese, and it is the most amazing thing you will ever taste in your life.

 

[Ch3tan]

Ahh FFS you can't even find it online! What has happened to the internet, hell this post is one of the top 5 results for "ancient ashmore cheese"

GET ME SOME CHEESES DAMINI!

 

[Mabs]

colliers cheddar FTW!
or saint agur

nothing else

 

[Ch3tan]

I'm going to go downstairs and have my lowly cathedral city with crackers now.

 

[Mabs]

cathedral city is sufficient, colliers is more betterer due to being much stronger imo

 

[Damini]

I'm going to have to divvy up some Ancient Ashmore, and send it out. Little oxo cube sized morsels. First hit is free. After that...

 

[DaGaffer]

I'm going to have to divvy up some Ancient Ashmore, and send it out. Little oxo cube sized morsels. First hit is free. After that...

...aaaand a new career opens up.

 

[Bodhi]

Cambazola > all.

 

[Wij]

My cock...


nevermind

 

[cHodAX]

Never eat yellow snow.

 

[megadave]

Nope. It's a local Canterbury cheese, and it is the most amazing thing you will ever taste in your life.

Where in Canterbury?

 

[Damini]

I think you can buy it in the farmer's market by Canterbury West - every time I've bought it's been from a food faire. As for the dairy itself, their page is here:

History of The Cheesmakers oF Canterbury and Ashmore Farmhouse Cheese

The website is a bit 404ey though.

 

[Ch3tan]

I actually found that website! But it doesn't mention ancient ashmore!

 

[caLLous]

Fillings don't just grow back, no matter how much you hope they will.

Someone I worked with a few years ago was trying to convince everybody that his tooth "fell out... but its ok, it grew back". :\

Customers do not like it if you imply that they may be pedophiles, even if you do it in a light hearted, joking fashion.

Please explain this. Was there a very awkward silence just after the light hearted, joking implication?

 

[MYstIC G]

I think you can buy it in the farmer's market by Canterbury West - every time I've bought it's been from a food faire. As for the dairy itself, their page is here:

History of The Cheesmakers oF Canterbury and Ashmore Farmhouse Cheese

The website is a bit 404ey though.

You lot are full of fail

List of Retailers and Shops

Cheesemakers of Canterbury Home of Ashmore Cheese

 

[Mabs]

You lot are full of fail

List of Retailers and Shops

Cheesemakers of Canterbury Home of Ashmore Cheese

thats an awfully cheesy website :/

 

[Damini]

Please explain this. Was there a very awkward silence just after the light hearted, joking implication?

It went a little like this:

CUSTOMER: "There's something I want to buy, and I've been trying to get hold of it for ages, but I can't find anyone that's selling it, and it's probably really hard to get hold of, and I very much doubt you'll be able to sell it to me, I haven't been able to find anyone that can. I just don't think you can really buy them."

ME "Is it a child?"

CUSTOMER: ...

ME ...

CUSTOMER ...

ME ...

CUSTOMER "It's a bagel warmer."

FIN

 

[Damini]

Oh, and then there was the time I made a guy dissolve into a fit of neurosis, and leave the shop.

ME: So, what do you think of the sofa? You can get it in black, brown or cream leather.

CUSTOMER: I don't like the cream leather. Don't you think it looks a bit eighties? Cream leather?

ME: Umm, I can't say that's the first thing that springs to mind for me.

CUSTOMER: You know, all porn emporium.

ME: It's interesting that that is the connection you make...

CUSTOMER: What? Oh, no, no! It's just I've been watching these films recently...

ME: ...?

CUSTOMER: NOT PORN FILMS!

ME: ...?

CUSTOMER: .... (Hasty exit stage right)

 

[Cadelin]

Someone I worked with a few years ago was trying to convince everybody that his tooth "fell out... but its ok, it grew back". :\

Was he 7?