The Purifiers

[Damini]

Oh my god, you should all totally watch this film.

It's basically The Warriors.

But set in Scotland.

With karate gangs instead of criminal gangs.

Instead of cool costumes, some gangs dress in white, and some gangs wear fake furr hats. I think another gang likes skateboards.

Instead of actors, they have people who look like they wish they were dead.

Instead of wasting money on background music, all tension is created by playing two notes on a yamaha keyboard.

I would tell you more, but Kenny made me turn it off.

 

[Ch3tan]

Where? When? How?!!!

 

[Damini]

You won't believe this, but you can rent it from Blockbusters. No cinema release! It's almost as if they didn't believe in the artistic vision of the piece.

"The moon is a like a bullet. Silver, smiling, beautiful, violent." Such gems of philosophical insight are woven through this film, or at least, the ten minutes Kenny let me watch before giving me death look and confiscating the remote.

My favourite bit was where they rescued "the woman who throws fruit into the Brainiac swimming pool" from a chinese restuarant by getting all the customers to make pig noises, enraging the bad guys to distraction, helpfully allowing her to get away. Then some noodles get thrown around. A lot of noodles. In fact, I do believe a man was hired to stand off camera, and throw noodles on the fighting actors.

Genius!

 

[Fweddy]

You've convinced me.

 

[Will]

It features some vaguely famous people, and looks awesome. I'll have to get this.

 

[leggy]

It has Dominic MonaMerryghan aka Charlie aka Just Drowned in it. Looks pretty damn awful though. I may still rent it for the noodle bits.

 

[Will]

The reviews on IMDB are pretty consistant. "Worse than Rollerball with Dean Cain" is pretty damning.

 

[leggy]

The reviews on IMDB are pretty consistant. "Worse than Rollerball with Dean Cain" is pretty damning.

Hah, that is seriously harsh.

 

[Ch3tan]

Heh.