The Office Fool

[mordsythe]

Every office has one.. the TOSSER!!!! in the office that thinks everybody likes him.. the guy with ZERO sense of humour.... the loner that sits in the corner usually.. talking about current affairs and the weather... its getting a little thin now as i just put a comical piccy on my desktop as my background tht the office found hysterical and he was like "OMG!! thats totally not appropriate for the office..

Does anyone else have this kind of WANKER in their office/workplace.

 

[fl3a]

50 rejuv is pretty fucking shit tbh

 

[Marc]

We kinda have one. Thinks hes "one of the lads" so to speak but no one likes him. Tries to talk about rugby with me yet he knows nothing about it so im just like "yeah whatever". Comes in the office on a monday saying "jesus, i was pissed at the weekend blah blah". Hes on my table at the office party this comming saturday so Im gonna have to get lashed to put up with him :<

 

[Bahumat]

yeah thos ewankers always go "ahh man i had 20 pints on sunday" then when you have to go to work do's you see them drink about 1 pint and get wasted.

fucking hate those people and im far to nice to throw em off the 5th floor!

 

[Darksword]

hopefully i'll be one of those guys, id do it on purpose because id find it funny as fuck to piss people off. we have some people like that at school, well 2 i that come straight to mind. first one is just a cock, like last year my mate was throwing a house party and he found out, he instantly attached himself to my friend and followed him constantly, was funny as fuck. in the end he started reffering to it as "our aprty" and shit. needles to say at the party he fell asleep at about 10pm while we all had a class time. more recently, he now throws things at people, think he realises we find him a bit wierd - he for some reason poured a bottle of water voer a table, after spilling a tiny bit, then cleaned it up and started throwing wet paper towels at people, he threw one at me which i caught and kicked off at him telling him is a fucking arse and no one found him amusing apart from his like 2 friends, who, to be honest seemed a bit embarresed. he tried to argue but gave up and jsut got pissed off, then blanked me for like 2 days which i found funny, then he decided he wanted to talk to me again. he also constantly asks "so whats happening tonight? just out with the lads? whos coming?" etc etc which we usually field with "dunno, might not be out, might just head over to xxxx's" "oh right cool whos going? might come over for a bit" "dunno, might not go might go into town might just not be out" etc. he used to be alright, got wierd, got alright, now is just wierd. he's done loads of gay shit like throwing sandwichs at people and had shit house partys with like 10 people.

the other guy is just anoying as fuck, like i feel bad for him at times when he is on his lonesome but when we try and chat to him he doesnt seem to interact well and just pisses people off within seconds.

 

[eggy]

hopefully i'll be one of those guys, id do it on purpose because id find it funny as fuck to piss people off.

Well your lack of punctuation pissed me off enough to make me stop reading, so 10 points! :cheer:

 

[Calaen]

Well your lack of punctuation pissed me off enough to make me stop reading, so 10 points! :cheer:

lol I was thinking the same.

 

[Ezteq]

aaah my place of work has a plethera of pillocks who think they're the height of wit when actually all they are is rude, annoying, pretentious, unfunny, gobshites who i would gladly hit with a car if i could drive.

a few examples of them:

Exhibit A, lets call him, A. well he sits there taking the piss out of everyone he can think of either behind their back (if they;re likely to give him a kicking for it) or infront of them if they are smaller, lower down the chain of command than him and oooh yes expecially if they are female and likely to cry if he pushes hard enough, yes folks this chap really is the model candidate for a contract killing, and the fact of the matter is he is truely disgusting, rude, grotesquely obese... which leads on to my theory that if he could free his pecker from underneath that apron he calls a stomach and have a shuffle he would probably release some of that tension he carries about and become a little more bearable.
and no it is highly unlike me to have a pop at a fat person and use it against them but he deserves it because he refers to all the ladies that work in the other part of the factory as "the beasts" and the area they work in as "the pen" he is one of these morons who although he has plenty of faults with himself if anyone else is less that perfect bam they are a target for him.

the other is Exhibit B, one of these "i'm mad i am, i'm the life and soul of the party!" types with an opionion about everything and knowledge of nothing, who recycles jokes and fires them at everyone within earshot, and on first meeting this chap you do find him genuinely funny but after a month or so you realise he's a record stuck in one groove, and its the least funny groove on the whole LP.

Oh mustn't forget Exhibit C, the guy who never smiles, who says "fuck off" when you say "goodmorning", who reams out orders like theres no tomorrow then goes and puts his feet on the desk for a quick nap before lunch. Ah it must be grand to be related to the MD.

then we have the rest of them Exhibits D-X, but i shant go in to that because it makes me angry how people can delight in being so insensitive and hurtful towards others, when all the other person has done is not look like kim bassinger and to dare to have more braincells than them. And the ungrateful who see you busting your hump to get a job done for them and then can't say thankyou but will say "oh and this here needs doing too".

ah yes the world of the factory, it will destroy your soul and make you want to come in to work armed with a nail gun and staple everyone who pisses you off to the toilet wall.

no wonder i'm looking for another job...






*will dance for money*

 

[Lamp]

lol I was thinking the same.

That makes 3 of us then.

I thought punctuation was taught an an early age in school...

 

[Outlander]

camera+him+photoshop+penisoutofhead = winnerofficedesktopftw!

or when he aint there change his desktop to hardcore gay prawns

 

[Lamp]

I can put up with anyone at work apart from ppl eating marmite near me

Marmite is paste from the Forbidden Truffle

 

[mordsythe]

this guy at my work fits in to cattegories a-z (see above posts)
not funny, abusive, ignorant and loves to pass hos work to "the newbies" well ifor one tell the "newbies" to pass it right back and tell him they are busy. and if he persists then to report him to the boss.. but it seems that one of them thinks that by doing what this nob asks will get him in the good books of everyone here.. dont seem to realise that the entire office calls him a tit to his face for it... lol

 

[Chronictank]

. its getting a little thin now as i just put a comical piccy on my desktop as my background tht the office found hysterical and he was like "OMG!! thats totally not appropriate for the office..

Does anyone else have this kind of WANKER in their office/workplace.

The background on your monitor is understandable tbh if you work in a place where "clients" can see your screen, if he's your manager he is spose to tell you these things
Example being we had a client from the US come to a conference being held here and was being shown round the tech departments, a guy had this as his background:

And she was extremly offended by it saying it is derogatory towards women , so u can never tell what people get annoyed by

However im making alot of assumptions so im prolly way off which is why you found hes comment ridiculous

 

[mordsythe]

my pic (which i deleted in anger and regretting it now :'( was off a man that was lying on his back as his chair had fallen backwards with his pc on and his 2 colleagues talking behind him with one saying "he actually got an email regarding work".... and no none of my clients see my desktop.. its only on shutdown and startup i see it myself.. lol

 

[Kalidur]

or when he aint there change his desktop to hardcore gay prawns

or do what we did, and change the display proprties so the display is upside down.

 

[Kalidur]

she was extremly offended by it saying it is derogatory towards women , so u can never tell what people get annoyed by

heh we had a situation like that, when one of the lads had a mouse-mat with a pair of inflated breasts that worked as wrist support. One of the employees moaned saying that is was degrading to women, so now the mouse-mat resides on a desk belonging to a female member of staff, heh heh

 

[Job]

LOL we had a clamp down in work on all posters, some crazy Euro-rights sheeite, I had a poster of a page 3 girl in a bikini in our room where all the high security terminals are, i.e. you need a pass to get in and only a few people enter, this woman turned up from the ministry of nunnery or something and ripped every poster in the building down.
She demanded to be let in the room, then asked who's the picture was, I beamed 'it's me girlfriend'
She ripped it down, went to my boss and told him he had a pervert working for him.

You know what was really funny, 2 years later I boxed off with her at the Xmas party.

 

[Darksword]

Well your lack of punctuation pissed me off enough to make me stop reading, so 10 points! :cheer:

couldnt be bothered to use punctuation tbh, i did realise while typing that i had very little punctuation but i don't care

 

[Ezteq]

see now from a girls point of view i dont mind that at my work we have girly posters up and stuff (i mean imo a boobs a boob, thats prolly why im straight).

What does get to me is that i share an office with a load of guys and some of the stuff they go on about is very very nasty and its embarrassing too, i tried sticking my mp3 player on to drown them out but its not loud enough and tbh i dont see why i should have to, i mean it is my office as well as theirs.

I'm not a raging feminist but i do think that folk should try and show a little respect and have conversations according to who's in the room, i mean you probably wouldnt be going on about "the benifits of shagging a prostitute when your wife isnt up for it" with your nan and her bridge club in the room would you?

 

[Bahumat]

I'm not a raging feminist but i do think that folk should try and show a little respect and have conversations according to who's in the room, i mean you probably wouldnt be going on about "the benifits of shagging a prostitute when your wife isnt up for it" with your nan and her bridge club in the room would you?

Such a reging feminist imo

 

[Gamah]

couldnt be bothered to use punctuation tbh, i did realise while typing that i had very little punctuation but i don't care

Wow you're so cool.

 

[Jeriraa]

yes folks this chap really is the model candidate for a contract killing

Might wanna PM me.

 

[Ezteq]

lol no cos it'd be just my luck you'd be an mi5 agent.... or worse you would turn out to actually be my boss,

if you are a hitman though i've got £3.28p, a half filled tazzo starwars collectors book and some jelly beans.

what can i get for that?

 

[Jeriraa]

lol no cos it'd be just my luck you'd be an mi5 agent.... or worse you would turn out to actually be my boss,

if you are a hitman though i've got £3.28p, a half filled tazzo starwars collectors book and some jelly beans.

what can i get for that?

Hmm, jelly beans... I'm sure we can sort something out there.

 

[evzy]

Just wait til the muppets are away from their desk and they havent locked their desktop - just send an email to their boss telling confessing all their nasty animal sexscapades and drug binges with goats.... that should get them out of your hair for awhile*




*until they return 2 weeks after being let out of the asylum and shoot the shit out of the office - and mostly you for sending the email which led to their immediate dismissal/the breakup of their marriage/incarceration in an asylum...........

 

[Himse]

lol chronic that reminds me of Ez tbh <3 <3

 

[Ezteq]

*beats Himse with the fist of death*



though my fist is the size of a wallnut and my bf calls it the dwarf claw irl

ph£ar

 

[Himse]

*beats Himse with the fist of death*



though my fist is the size of a wallnut and my bf calls it the dwarf claw irl

ph£ar

<3 <3

 

[Morchaoron]

Every office has one.. the TOSSER!!!! in the office that thinks everybody likes him.. the guy with ZERO sense of humour.... the loner that sits in the corner usually.. talking about current affairs and the weather... its getting a little thin now as i just put a comical piccy on my desktop as my background tht the office found hysterical and he was like "OMG!! thats totally not appropriate for the office..

Does anyone else have this kind of WANKER in their office/workplace.

yes i am one, because i am gonna send a link of your post to that guy!

 

[liloe]

That makes 3 of us then.

I thought punctuation was taught an an early age in school...

you don't have to listen to Darksword tbh. All posts I see coming from him are filled with tons of immature speech.