The Nutter on the Bus

[Insane]

mine would be more "nutter on the middle of the road" than anything else.

my old car (one dodgy saxo) was prone to the "hi-jackings" when I done deliveries for a local chinese, the drunks would literally throw themselves on the bonnet then clamber off and rattle the passenger door trying to get in pity they were that drunk they never realised it was always locked

this always ever happened at the taxi places.. when they couldn't get one to take them anywhere.

this night a drunk guy decides after a few previous attempts to stand on top of those cement bins and dive onto the next car that came round the corner.. which conviently was mine

needless to say he was that drunk he missed completely!!! he didnt jump as such, he fell forwards onto the road surface a few meters in front of where I had stopped, managing to split his top lip, brake his nose and shatter two teeth.

i was laughing that hard at him I didnt notice his mate walk up to the car with a brick and put the passenger side window through... while two uniformed police officers watched from the other side of the road they were promptly arrested and I drove home feeling one hell of a draft

car window was repaired and I got enough money from victim support to knock out the dents on the bodywork from all the other "victims" who i happened to "run over" during my deliveries

 

[Testin da Cable]

oh dear
rather you than me matey. glad the coppers got two of them though

 

[James-]

Reminds me of part of the night I spent recently trying to find the bar everyone else was at, with my dad aimlessly driving around Oxford to try and find it (I was too polite to say "fucks sake, let me out").

We stopped at some traffic lights, and they were right by a pub. This was about 8pm and some drunk was stumbling around outside (probably having been thrown out the pub) when a couple of blokes walked past, and tried to persuade him to get out of the road, which didn't work. They just shrugged and walked off. However, I made the mistake of watching this drunk bloke stumbling around and after it registered itself in his brain, he started to stumble over to our car. Just as he was about two foot away, the traffic lights changed and my Dad drove off. The drunk fell flat on his face and a police car drove past.

Another story a mate of mine told me about was when he was in London, and similarly a drunk bloke was stumbling around the road in a Fulham football shirt, waving at cars and shouting random stuff. Soon enough, someone with a Chelsea car sticker thingy drove past and stopped because of this drunk who was stood in the middle of the road (stood being used loosely), and the drunk just shouted something about "Chelsea cunts!" and put a large stone through the passenger window. The driver got out, lamped him one and drove away. My mate ran past quickly

 

[WPKenny]

The nutter DRIVING the bus

I was on a bus one day when the driver needed to reverse to go back down a lane he'd come up (small village thingy). He ended up reversing into a hoog branch sticking out over the road and shattering two of the back windows of the bus. heh. He was rather red faced. But he still carried on until he got to the depot.