The Jeremy Kyle Show

Laddey

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Why, oh why, oh why the fuck would somebody go on this show?

'Oh my husband beats me' ... Go to the police?

'My daughter has no discipline, she shouts and screams at me and trashes the house' - Give her a slap.

My boyfriend i've been with for 2 and a half months has a drink problem

'leave him then'

'i love him though'

STFU.
 

Imgormiel

Part of the furniture
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One word for this show it's presented by a wanker oh and btw, it's watched and participated by wankers. You need to know only one more thing, reach for the off button on your television and threads like this become meaningless ;)
 

Laddey

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One word for this show it's presented by a wanker oh and btw, it's watched and participated by wankers. You need to know only one more thing, reach for the off button on your television and threads like this become meaningless ;)

He's all over though, he come to Preston to live on benefits for three days.

Why ? I don't know. You can't even get the doul money for 3 days tbh, you'd probably get like 60p for 3 days on the doul.
 

Marc

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I remember watching it a couple of weeks ago when there was this 19 year old scouse scally on. He really put that smug, condesending twat, Jeremy Kyle right in his place. For 15 minutes the arrogant tosser tried to get one over on this scouser and he couldnt. Jeremy Kyle was raged while this lad just sat there without raising his voice once. How I laughed.
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
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I laugh when Jeremy raises his voice to sound dominant. He cuts the chav of in mid sentence with his "this is my show I talk and you listen" speech makes me laugh everytime. Also when he keeps saying respect to morons after they have cried.

Last week there was a mother who was complaining about her sons drug problem, the kid was on the sofa for 10 seconds and he said I only have a problem because all my mother does is sit around smoking pot and taking speed.

The mother said it was different for her to take it :p
 

Laddey

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The only good thing that comes out of Jeremy Kyle show is the DNA tests.

The lie detector is 96% accurate (yeah i watch it sometimes)

I dunno how the do it though. Why not do it in court with murderes and then get some more evidence to cover up for the next 4% ?
 

tris-

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cant stand it but i watch it still :(
 

Lamp

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Daytime TV is for people who wee themselves
 

Amildin

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Im sorry but night time tv is just as shit. Was in for the first time in a long time last night, and got so sick of tv ended up getting high :(

Poor tv is the reason for drug use, fact.
 

Lamp

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You're right there. Terrestrial television is bollocks. Other than Top Gear, and QI, and the odd movie, I rarely watch TV.
 

Amildin

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Ye movies are good, but good ones are rarely on tv. Only good programs are scrubs, family guy n ollld skool friends. Top gear n fifth gear worth a watch too
 

preacherboy

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You got no backbone were is your backbone:D you got a police record says Jeremy Kyle, Jim turns and says yes Message in a bottle:p :eek7: Dam i agree the people that go on that show aren't the sharpest tools in the box, but hay the bar tab is free:drink:
 

pikeh

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You got no backbone were is your backbone:D you got a police record says Jeremy Kyle, Jim turns and says yes Message in a bottle:p Dam i agree the people that go on that show aren't the sharpest tools in the box, but hay the bar tab is free:drink:

pardon?



why dont pretty people ever go on jeremy kyle? :(
 

Himse

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it just makes me laugh

why i watch it when its on :d its comedy!
 

old.Whoodoo

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Luvd it when a judge called it "Human Bear bating", thats exactly what it is. 15 minutes of fame for chavs n scallys and single mums to work out who the father is so the CSA can justify their huge pay packets.

Cant wait for the show called "Im gonna stab a TV presenter in the head for drug money!".
 

Cerb

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Gota agree that hes a twat...but at the same time...its like good comedy!

best part...what me and my friends call jeremys "special moves"


1. " ok sally sit down....sit back...sit back....go on sit back....ok just back a bit furhter..ok now that your relaxed" -Aparently sayin sit back alot helps people relax

2. *gets down on hunkers (right word?) beside persons chair*

3. "hey tom WHY DONT YOU QUIT THE DRUGS, QUIT THE DRINK, STOP BEATING YOUR WIFE, ADMIT THEIR YOUR KIDS, GET A JOB AND STOP DRESSING LIKE A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL!" *loud audience claping".......................................................................................................................problem solved obvioulsy......
 

Laddey

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Jeremy Kyle is on in like 20mins on ITV2 !
 

Imgormiel

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He's all over though, he come to Preston to live on benefits for three days.

Why ? I don't know. You can't even get the doul money for 3 days tbh, you'd probably get like 60p for 3 days on the doul.

Dole is actually about £8 a day ;)

Btw that's an old t.v. stunt. Iirc a journalist named Mathew Paris - currently working for the Independent (who incidentally gay not that it matters) was working a program called World in Action at the time. I think it was in the early 1980's. He was also a Conservative MP. He did a week long documentary about being on the dole. He ran out of money after 2 days. The program was a complete load of bollocks. He cheated and used it to promote the propaganda of the Tory party at the time. Peeps were giving him money because they knew who he was and he leeched loads of freebies from friends and colleagues just to get the program done. Total white elephant of a documentary if you ask me.

I bet this gimp you speak of will do the same. Total waste of space and propaganda if you ask me.
 

crispy

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I remember watching it a couple of weeks ago when there was this 19 year old scouse scally on. He really put that smug, condesending twat, Jeremy Kyle right in his place. For 15 minutes the arrogant tosser tried to get one over on this scouser and he couldnt. Jeremy Kyle was raged while this lad just sat there without raising his voice once. How I laughed.

Got a link for that, im bored :p
 

Nate

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Should we petition to get Pip on the show? ;o Maybe he'll be able to make sense of what he babbles on about!
 

tris-

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people on the dole get more money than i do, and i work!
 

Nate

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your a student, i hate you a little less then dole'rs
 

tris-

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your a student, i hate you a little less then dole'rs

yes but i have to take time from my life to earn money, where a doler doesnt, and they get paid even more for that luxury!

ive missed every party going in the last year because of having to work, including next week i will miss my mothers birthday :/
 

Laddey

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Is anybody watching this on ITV2 ? Now you've all pointed this stuff out it's a joke.

He makes out smoking weed is like taking heroin. Loads of people smoke weed. Whats the problem with finishing work and having a spliff after your tea?

Aint harming anybody but ourselves really.
 

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