The ideal short story would contain...

C

Cap'n Sissyfoo

Guest
Of course not. I didn't get any help with my degree so I refuse to offer any ideas of my own on the grounds that I am a selfish bastard. :)

~reads back through topic~

Well I'll be darned, Dil. You are right. I always get you and Khavrok mixed up. You both had such similar posting styles back in the home country (Camlann OT).

I stand humbly corrected, sir. Your idea was BS. :D
 
E

Ekydus

Guest
Sissyfoo's short story would be about a martial arts master named Sissy Foo, who invents his own style (Kill people with a 1-line spam) and struggles to get it recognised.
He then enters a tournament because his inflatable sheep has been kidnapped and ofcourse, saves the day. :p
 
J

.Jos.

Guest
Also, Sissy Foo could have a special branch of martial arts for dispatching his critics called Kung Moo :m00:
 
O

old.Dillinja

Guest
I thought Kung Foo would be more appropriate.

But then, who cares what I think apart from Derric the bumble bee?
 
C

Cap'n Sissyfoo

Guest
Bad news Dil. I squished Derric with a rolled up newspaper so now nobody cares. :(

As for the inflatable sheep, I can explain that. I went to university in Wales and so it was requirement for ALL students to carry around an inflatable sheep at all times so the natives wouldn't get restless and sacrifice us to their pagan sheep gods. I once saw this poor sod puncture his sheep on a rusty gate and the townspeople realised that the sheep attached to his groin wasn't real and chased him up the high street with flaming torches before finally crucifying him on the clock tower. Messy ordeal.
 
J

.Jos.

Guest
But you see, he could have Kung Foo for normal everday chop-socky stuff, and then wear his pants inside out to do Kung Moo on his critics...

It's just so beautifully contrived
 
O

old.Dillinja

Guest
Originally posted by Sissyfoo
Bad news Dil. I squished Derric with a rolled up newspaper so now nobody cares. :(

As for the inflatable sheep, I can explain that. I went to university in Wales and so it was requirement for ALL students to carry around an inflatable sheep at all times so the natives wouldn't get restless and sacrifice us to their pagan sheep gods. I once saw this poor sod puncture his sheep on a rusty gate and the townspeople realised that the sheep attached to his groin wasn't real and chased him up the high street with flaming torches before finally crucifying him on the clock tower. Messy ordeal.

You do realise that could be highly offensive to Welsh people?

But I'm not Welsh so bwahahahaa!
 
J

.Jos.

Guest
I think we have a winning suggestion

So...Let's review shall we?

The story may be about a cryogenetically frozen survival specialist named Sissy Foo, a master of both Kung Foo and Kung Moo. He found a love letter to his girlfriend but not from him, so he killed the author of it, and was sentenced by a forum poll in which 68% said exile, 12% said death, 10% said spanking, 9% said re-freezing and the final 1% sentenced him to a pie.

He was sent to Wales in exile for his crime, where he employed the use of his survival skills to construct a synthetic sheep which he strapped to his waist to fool the backwater locals into thinking he was constantly having sex with a sheep, as the locals were apparently fond of doing.

However, upon the discovery of the sheep not being real, he was taken off to be massacred, and was impaled upon the church spire with a sheep wind-vane. Luckily for him, he survived because he owned a coin that gave him magic powers as long as he had it in his pocket and a comedy side-kick named Derric who was a bumblebee. Later Derric was sadly crushed by the Times Education Supplement. His final resting place is just above a sentence detailing the problems with the lack of free milk in play-schools and what should be done.
 
C

Cap'n Sissyfoo

Guest
Please don't plagerise my auto-biography. :p

Plagerism is bad, mmkay?
 
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old.Dillinja

Guest
Re: I think we have a winning suggestion

Originally posted by Iycee
So...Let's review shall we?

The story may be about a cryogenetically frozen survival specialist named Sissy Foo, a master of both Kung Foo and Kung Moo. He found a love letter to his girlfriend but not from him, so he killed the author of it, and was sentenced by a forum poll in which 68% said exile, 12% said death, 10% said spanking, 9% said re-freezing and the final 1% sentenced him to a pie.

He was sent to Wales in exile for his crime, where he employed the use of his survival skills to construct a synthetic sheep which he strapped to his waist to fool the backwater locals into thinking he was constantly having sex with a sheep, as the locals were apparently fond of doing.

However, upon the discovery of the sheep not being real, he was taken off to be massacred, and was impaled upon the church spire with a sheep wind-vane. Luckily for him, he survived because he owned a coin that gave him magic powers as long as he had it in his pocket and a comedy side-kick named Derric who was a bumblebee. Later Derric was sadly crushed by the Times Education Supplement. His final resting place is just above a sentence detailing the problems with the lack of free milk in play-schools and what should be done.

Hehe that's special, that really is special. :)
 
J

.Jos.

Guest
It's not plagarism, I can be your agent and take a 65% cut. That was some preliminary publicity work.
 
O

old.Dillinja

Guest
Originally posted by Sissyfoo
~sharpens knife~

65% cut it is! :D

He meant money you foo', now I'm off to bed.


G'night mates.
 
C

Cap'n Sissyfoo

Guest
I knew what he meant. I was playing with words. Foo' :p

Good night!
 
J

.Jos.

Guest
Official Press Release

Talks are currently underway to secure a book deal. I suspect it will be out at some point in the next decade. There is still a chance that Damini can enter negotiations to get the prestigious rights to publish the story, but I can give no further information than that at this point in time.
 
O

old.Tohtori

Guest
I'm thinking...you really don't want an idea for a short story from Teh Seel...

Really..

That would be, odd.

To say the least.
 
O

old.Dillinja

Guest
Originally posted by old.Tohtori
I'm thinking...you really don't want an idea for a short story from Teh Seel...

Really..

That would be, odd.

To say the least.

Quite.
 
T

Tenko

Guest
Re: I think we have a winning suggestion

Originally posted by Iycee
So...Let's review shall we?

The story may be about a cryogenetically frozen survival specialist named Sissy Foo, a master of both Kung Foo and Kung Moo. He found a love letter to his girlfriend but not from him, so he killed the author of it, and was sentenced by a forum poll in which 68% said exile, 12% said death, 10% said spanking, 9% said re-freezing and the final 1% sentenced him to a pie.

He was sent to Wales in exile for his crime, where he employed the use of his survival skills to construct a synthetic sheep which he strapped to his waist to fool the backwater locals into thinking he was constantly having sex with a sheep, as the locals were apparently fond of doing.

However, upon the discovery of the sheep not being real, he was taken off to be massacred, and was impaled upon the church spire with a sheep wind-vane. Luckily for him, he survived because he owned a coin that gave him magic powers as long as he had it in his pocket and a comedy side-kick named Derric who was a bumblebee. Later Derric was sadly crushed by the Times Education Supplement. His final resting place is just above a sentence detailing the problems with the lack of free milk in play-schools and what should be done.


Thats Damn good that but where are THE GIANT LESBIAN ROBOT KILLERS?!
 
E

Ekydus

Guest
Yes, that would definately be the best and easiest story ever.

Start:
Main character complains that world is under threat etc.

Middle:
Global Wipeout.

End:
Nothing because everyone is dead and the story can't be finished.

:D
 
C

Cap'n Sissyfoo

Guest
Re: Re: I think we have a winning suggestion

Originally posted by Tenko
Thats Damn good that but where are THE GIANT LESBIAN ROBOT KILLERS?!

It is an autobiography, not science fiction. Sheesh. ~rolls eyes~
 
O

old.Tohtori

Guest
Re: Re: Re: I think we have a winning suggestion

Originally posted by Sissyfoo
It is an autobiography, not science fiction. Sheesh. ~rolls eyes~

My autobiography will contain giant lesbian robot killers...i don't know what so special about that..
 
I

inuyasha

Guest
short stories suck, givf novels and give novels that NEVER end =)

Dragonlance serie is a good short story! :D
 
I

inuyasha

Guest
Re: Re: Re: Re: I think we have a winning suggestion

Originally posted by old.Tohtori
My autobiography will contain giant lesbian robot killers...i don't know what so special about that..

thought futurama took all the giant lesbian robot killers? No one left to us
 

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