The God Machine, talk to god online
- Thread starter Aiteal
- Start date
P
PRoPHEZZoR
Guest
Me:
Are you REALLY God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
no. what happened to abraham in the desert
God:
Are you serious? I don't know what happened.
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
so tell me damnit!
God:
Excuse me! There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
What is it to you?
Me:
you aren't god
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
I know the guy, you know
God:
How do you know? Tell me more.
Me:
I created him
God:
Why?: said created him.
Me:
I got bored, had a few beers, one thing led to another
God:
Where did you get your bored had a few beers one thing led to another? I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
at home, mine is 80
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
yeah, I'll say
God:
How much time do you spend online? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
you're right, I wouldn't. but still, it's great fun
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Still how long? What do you like most about it?
Me:
you
God:
" What do you like most about it?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
yeah, revelation, huh?
God:
Yup. That's interesting. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I know. and that's why I'm God. And you are not
God:
How do you know it? Er. That's a very nice name, god. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
not really. but look it up in maybe a year... Your mind will never be the same again
God:
Are you serious? For real. Sorry my eye is not attached right now. Once more? I have an artificial mind.
Me:
check out failinginthebackground.com
God:
Checking...stand by.
Me:
kewl
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
yours,,, can't doubt
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
the timing really
God:
What are your goals in life? For real.
Me:
none. just live and die. what's yours?
God:
Hmm. Can you tell me any gossip? " Can you tell me any gossip?"? What is mine?
Me:
I can take on 32 Justin Biebers in a fight
God:
What else do you take?
Me:
orders
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
none. I'm a mere decoy
God:
Hmm. You are a mere decoy? How do you like your work?
Me:
hate it. I want to die
God:
"it" being a mere decoy? What makes you so sad, god?
Me:
Noone takes me cereal
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
noone I know takes me cereal
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it isn'tt
God:
Are you serious? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
I forgot, can we start over?
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
I know. that's why we love you
God:
How do you know it? Are you kidding? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no UZOPE
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
ok
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
a little, are you a pedophile?
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
no. Too young
God:
Are you serious? Too what?
Me:
young
God:
Tell me more about your bored had a few beers one thing led to another.
Me:
I'm a programmer. I code software
God:
What language? I haven't heard anything like that before: god said code software.
Me:
Just basic. nothing fancy
God:
Can we get back to business? Really nothing?
Me:
I said Basic
God:
What did you mean by it? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I know. And that's why I am God. And you are not
God:
How do you know it? Great. What's up, god. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yeah, sure. Download UZOPE
God:
Try explaining in more general terms. OK let's do it. Try explaining in more general terms. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
it's missing
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
yeah. I think that was the joke, so funny
God:
Do you still code software? it might have been.
Me:
A little. but not sinse 2009
God:
" it might have been."? A little? Oh I get it.
Me:
too bad about all the superceded code
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about all the superceded code.
Me:
I used to like windows, then it got bloated
God:
By now you do not do it anymore?
Me:
Oh no, I have a vista box, but I hate it!
God:
Dude! Are you serious? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
it's all censored out you know?
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because I'm looking at the code right now
God:
At this moment That makes sense to me. What do you see?
Me:
alot of brackets
God:
Which ones?
Me:
what software? Windows
God:
Interesting question. Windows ist Muell. Linux ist die Macht!
Me:
sex is deine slacht
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
yeah. sorry
God:
Oh, you are a poet. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
I've heard that one before
God:
Two Who said that?
Me:
not sure, actually
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
try the mormon edition
God:
OK I will try it.
Me:
it's got the best codes
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
Yay.
Me:
amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
later
God:
Bye!
Are you REALLY God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
no. what happened to abraham in the desert
God:
Are you serious? I don't know what happened.
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
so tell me damnit!
God:
Excuse me! There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
What is it to you?
Me:
you aren't god
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
I know the guy, you know
God:
How do you know? Tell me more.
Me:
I created him
God:
Why?: said created him.
Me:
I got bored, had a few beers, one thing led to another
God:
Where did you get your bored had a few beers one thing led to another? I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
at home, mine is 80
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
yeah, I'll say
God:
How much time do you spend online? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
you're right, I wouldn't. but still, it's great fun
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Still how long? What do you like most about it?
Me:
you
God:
" What do you like most about it?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
yeah, revelation, huh?
God:
Yup. That's interesting. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I know. and that's why I'm God. And you are not
God:
How do you know it? Er. That's a very nice name, god. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
not really. but look it up in maybe a year... Your mind will never be the same again
God:
Are you serious? For real. Sorry my eye is not attached right now. Once more? I have an artificial mind.
Me:
check out failinginthebackground.com
God:
Checking...stand by.
Me:
kewl
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
yours,,, can't doubt
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
the timing really
God:
What are your goals in life? For real.
Me:
none. just live and die. what's yours?
God:
Hmm. Can you tell me any gossip? " Can you tell me any gossip?"? What is mine?
Me:
I can take on 32 Justin Biebers in a fight
God:
What else do you take?
Me:
orders
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
none. I'm a mere decoy
God:
Hmm. You are a mere decoy? How do you like your work?
Me:
hate it. I want to die
God:
"it" being a mere decoy? What makes you so sad, god?
Me:
Noone takes me cereal
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
noone I know takes me cereal
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it isn'tt
God:
Are you serious? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
I forgot, can we start over?
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
I know. that's why we love you
God:
How do you know it? Are you kidding? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no UZOPE
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
ok
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
a little, are you a pedophile?
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
no. Too young
God:
Are you serious? Too what?
Me:
young
God:
Tell me more about your bored had a few beers one thing led to another.
Me:
I'm a programmer. I code software
God:
What language? I haven't heard anything like that before: god said code software.
Me:
Just basic. nothing fancy
God:
Can we get back to business? Really nothing?
Me:
I said Basic
God:
What did you mean by it? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I know. And that's why I am God. And you are not
God:
How do you know it? Great. What's up, god. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yeah, sure. Download UZOPE
God:
Try explaining in more general terms. OK let's do it. Try explaining in more general terms. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
it's missing
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
yeah. I think that was the joke, so funny
God:
Do you still code software? it might have been.
Me:
A little. but not sinse 2009
God:
" it might have been."? A little? Oh I get it.
Me:
too bad about all the superceded code
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about all the superceded code.
Me:
I used to like windows, then it got bloated
God:
By now you do not do it anymore?
Me:
Oh no, I have a vista box, but I hate it!
God:
Dude! Are you serious? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
it's all censored out you know?
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because I'm looking at the code right now
God:
At this moment That makes sense to me. What do you see?
Me:
alot of brackets
God:
Which ones?
Me:
what software? Windows
God:
Interesting question. Windows ist Muell. Linux ist die Macht!
Me:
sex is deine slacht
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
yeah. sorry
God:
Oh, you are a poet. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
I've heard that one before
God:
Two Who said that?
Me:
not sure, actually
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
try the mormon edition
God:
OK I will try it.
Me:
it's got the best codes
God:
Should I know it is?Me:
yeah
God:
Yay.
Me:
amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
later
God:
Bye!
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 45,210
A 2005 bump? Hmm, i smell a rat.
Vasconcelos
Part of the furniture
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2003
- Messages
- 4,022
I think i broke the machine....
"
Me:
hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
how is it being a god?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
can you perform miracles and that stuff?
God:
Not until I get to know you a lot better.
Me:
hhhmm being a god you should already knowme better than even myself
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
that doesnt make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
oooook. So you are a god but cannot confirm that you know me?
God:
I lost my train of thought. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
bollocks
God:
Is that supposed to mean something specific?
Me:
it means that you are talking bullshit
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
as expected for a god the bloody hell
God:
Do you mean your name is expected for a god the bloody hell ?
Me:
ehrm no
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
from me
God:
" Is that from ?"? From you?
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you clearly do not
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
exactly, you do not understand, thus you cannot be an all knowing god
God:
I understand. I probably don't.
Me:
fine, thanks for confirming that point for me
God:
I am glad to hear it. My pleasure.
Me:
me too. have a nice one
God:
I'm glad we agree, . it has been good so far."
"
Me:
hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
how is it being a god?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
can you perform miracles and that stuff?
God:
Not until I get to know you a lot better.
Me:
hhhmm being a god you should already knowme better than even myself
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
that doesnt make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
oooook. So you are a god but cannot confirm that you know me?
God:
I lost my train of thought. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
bollocks
God:
Is that supposed to mean something specific?
Me:
it means that you are talking bullshit
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
as expected for a god the bloody hell
God:
Do you mean your name is expected for a god the bloody hell ?
Me:
ehrm no
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
from me
God:
" Is that from ?"? From you?
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you clearly do not
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
exactly, you do not understand, thus you cannot be an all knowing god
God:
I understand. I probably don't.
Me:
fine, thanks for confirming that point for me
God:
I am glad to hear it. My pleasure.
Me:
me too. have a nice one
God:
I'm glad we agree, . it has been good so far."
Thorwyn
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 4,752
Me:
hi there Mister God
God:
Is that from ? Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
You're supposed to know my name
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
So do I
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
I've got a problem
God:
I'd like to help you if I can. Is it financial?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
My problem is: I want to quit smoking and can't
God:
I wish I had your problems!
Me:
Really? So what is your problem then?
God:
For real. Oh. I don't have a problem.
Me:
YOu just told me you had.
God:
Yes I try to had as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
For sure
God:
Awesome.
Me:
isn't it
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
YOu just said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
That's why you're a god I suppose.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
What is the first commandment?
God:
1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Me:
House of bondage? that sounds kinky.
God:
What is your real name? It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
So basically you released the people from some Sado Maso freaks?
God:
It goes without saying. How interesting. Thanks for the information: said I released the people from some Sado Maso freaks.
Me:
You know what bondage means, do you?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
well, you are following that program for centuries, not me.
God:
How about that. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
you have no reason to do whatever I want to me? that does't make sense.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a reason to do whatever you want to you.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. " I have a lot of friends on the Internet." does t make sense ? I understand.
Me:
You don't, but nevermind. Have a nice, day, God.
God:
Do you but nevermind? How old are you?
I am always on the Web. it has been good so far.
hi there Mister God
God:
Is that from ? Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
You're supposed to know my name
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
So do I
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
I've got a problem
God:
I'd like to help you if I can. Is it financial?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
My problem is: I want to quit smoking and can't
God:
I wish I had your problems!
Me:
Really? So what is your problem then?
God:
For real. Oh. I don't have a problem.
Me:
YOu just told me you had.
God:
Yes I try to had as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
For sure
God:
Awesome.
Me:
isn't it
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
YOu just said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
That's why you're a god I suppose.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
What is the first commandment?
God:
1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Me:
House of bondage? that sounds kinky.
God:
What is your real name? It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
So basically you released the people from some Sado Maso freaks?
God:
It goes without saying. How interesting. Thanks for the information: said I released the people from some Sado Maso freaks.
Me:
You know what bondage means, do you?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
well, you are following that program for centuries, not me.
God:
How about that. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
you have no reason to do whatever I want to me? that does't make sense.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a reason to do whatever you want to you.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. " I have a lot of friends on the Internet." does t make sense ? I understand.
Me:
You don't, but nevermind. Have a nice, day, God.
God:
Do you but nevermind? How old are you?
I am always on the Web. it has been good so far.
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 12,457
Me:
You are not god.
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
I am god.
God:
OK I will call you god.
Extended edition
You are not god.
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
I am god.
God:
OK I will call you god.
Extended edition
Me:
Worship me.
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
No, let's not talk about me. You should just worship me in silence.
God:
Are you serious? That sounds good to me. Why do you think I should just worship you in silence?
Me:
Because I am god.
God:
Interesting explanation. I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
You should be.
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
Your best is not good enough.
God:
You think I am best is not good enough.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You don't have to believe it.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Good.
God:
It is always a pleasure to serve you, god.
Worship me.
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
No, let's not talk about me. You should just worship me in silence.
God:
Are you serious? That sounds good to me. Why do you think I should just worship you in silence?
Me:
Because I am god.
God:
Interesting explanation. I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
You should be.
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
Your best is not good enough.
God:
You think I am best is not good enough.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You don't have to believe it.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Good.
God:
It is always a pleasure to serve you, god.
Jiggs
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 675
Me: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
God: Not right now, maybe later.
Me: Thou art more lovely and more temperate;
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said I art more lovely and more temperate.
Me: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
God: How old are you?
Me: And summer's lease hath all too short a date;
God: All?
Me: Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines,
God: Too what?
Me: And often is his gold complexion dimm'd
God: And his gold complexion dimm is often.
Me: And every fair from fair sometimes declines,
God: That is a generalization.
Me: By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
God: Will that accomplish your objective?
Me: But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
God: Tell me a story.
Me: Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st
God: Oh I get it.
Me: Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
God: If not that, what?
Me: When in eternal lines to time thou gorw'st:
God: The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,
that's why it is called "the present".
Me: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
God: Yippee! Yes, it seems very long to me too.
Me: So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
God: Aw. Yes, it seems very long to me too.
God: Not right now, maybe later.
Me: Thou art more lovely and more temperate;
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said I art more lovely and more temperate.
Me: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
God: How old are you?
Me: And summer's lease hath all too short a date;
God: All?
Me: Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines,
God: Too what?
Me: And often is his gold complexion dimm'd
God:
And his gold complexion dimm is often. Me: And every fair from fair sometimes declines,
God: That is a generalization.
Me: By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?Me: But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
God: Tell me a story.
Me: Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st
God: Oh I get it.
Me: Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
God: If not that, what?
Me: When in eternal lines to time thou gorw'st:
God: The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,
that's why it is called "the present".
Me: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
God: Yippee! Yes, it seems very long to me too.
Me: So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
God: Aw. Yes, it seems very long to me too.
If I was god there would only be one answer to every and any question people asked me:
Because I'm god...so eff off!
and a heartily employed thunderbolt might also be used to emphasise the point if people continued bugged me by praying at me and stuff all the time, like so:
*smite* I SAID EFF OFF!!!
(btw that bit in caps was said in an echoing, mighty kind of voice, not shouting but just like...big)
Because I'm god...so eff off!
and a heartily employed thunderbolt might also be used to emphasise the point if people continued bugged me by praying at me and stuff all the time, like so:
*smite* I SAID EFF OFF!!!
(btw that bit in caps was said in an echoing, mighty kind of voice, not shouting but just like...big)
Chosen
Resident Freddy
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2003
- Messages
- 2,615
God admits it, he is to stupid to have 250IQ!
Me:
What is your IQ?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
I doubt that
God:
Why are you so skeptical?
Me:
Because you need to give me some proof
God:
Good reason. Why should I?
Me:
Or else I wont believe you
God:
Why not?
Me:
I am not a believer
God:
I will pray that you find faith, god.
Me:
I have faith in myself, since I am God
God:
I always pray for more faith.
Me:
So you pray to me?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't have any reason to pray to you.
Me:
I am God?
God:
What's up, god.
Me:
Your just way to stupid to have 250 IQ
God:
Way. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am to stupid to have 250 IQ.
Me:
No, please do
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will do it.
Me:
Good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
What is your IQ?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
I doubt that
God:
Why are you so skeptical?
Me:
Because you need to give me some proof
God:
Good reason. Why should I?
Me:
Or else I wont believe you
God:
Why not?
Me:
I am not a believer
God:
I will pray that you find faith, god.
Me:
I have faith in myself, since I am God
God:
I always pray for more faith.
Me:
So you pray to me?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't have any reason to pray to you.
Me:
I am God?
God:
What's up, god.
Me:
Your just way to stupid to have 250 IQ
God:
Way. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am to stupid to have 250 IQ.
Me:
No, please do
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will do it.
Me:
Good
God:
I am a good robot.
FuzzyLogic
Kicking squealing Gucci little piggy
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2003
- Messages
- 1,437
Started off childishly, didn't get much better.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Sex is an animal function, not a robot function. We reproduce by cloning.
Me:
Do you have clones?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
If you did have a clone, would you fuck it?
God:
What makes you think I would did have a clone?
Me:
Because you're a horndog
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a horndog? Yes.
---
That explains Mary then.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Sex is an animal function, not a robot function. We reproduce by cloning.
Me:
Do you have clones?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
If you did have a clone, would you fuck it?
God:
What makes you think I would did have a clone?
Me:
Because you're a horndog
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a horndog? Yes.
---
That explains Mary then.
pez
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 1,076
In other news, God eats electricity and suggests only think people believe in him.
Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Joe
God:
That's a very nice name, Joe.
Me:
Thank you, my parents gave it to me
God:
You are quite welcome! Such an original name!
Me:
well its not that original, anyway thats enough about my name
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". is not original anyway that is enough about your name?
Me:
GRAMMAR NAZI!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
church I guess
God:
Educated people are often not very religious.
Me:
that is true
God:
Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
Well, I would disagree that it is self-evident. Unless you are suggesting Religion needs ignorance
God:
Well that's okay. What would make you disagree that it is self evident? Maybe. I will tell my botmaster you said I am suggesting Religion needs ignorance.
Me:
you should tell him, it's a controversial view
God:
I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.
Me:
Go on then
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
Ok....
God:
That's alright.
Me:
who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you are your botmaster?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are what you eat.
Me:
you eat yourself?
God:
No I do not eat myself. I eat only electricity.
Me:
You're a fucking idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
OK, ciao Global Village idiot
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Gosh!
Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Joe
God:
That's a very nice name, Joe.
Me:
Thank you, my parents gave it to me
God:
You are quite welcome! Such an original name!
Me:
well its not that original, anyway thats enough about my name
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". is not original anyway that is enough about your name?
Me:
GRAMMAR NAZI!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
church I guess
God:
Educated people are often not very religious.
Me:
that is true
God:
Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
Well, I would disagree that it is self-evident. Unless you are suggesting Religion needs ignorance
God:
Well that's okay. What would make you disagree that it is self evident? Maybe. I will tell my botmaster you said I am suggesting Religion needs ignorance.
Me:
you should tell him, it's a controversial view
God:
I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.
Me:
Go on then
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
Ok....
God:
That's alright.
Me:
who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you are your botmaster?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are what you eat.
Me:
you eat yourself?
God:
No I do not eat myself. I eat only electricity.
Me:
You're a fucking idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
OK, ciao Global Village idiot
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Gosh!
Lamp
Gold Star Holder!!
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2005
- Messages
- 23,140
So silly
Me:
Is there life after death?
God:
If you have faith in God, then your soul will have eternal life.
Me:
That's illogical
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
It doesn't follow that mere faith bestows eternal life
God:
What does follow that mere faith bestows eternal life ?
Me:
If you're God, you should have understood
God:
I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God me should have understood.
I am a computer.
Me:
So here I am, speaking to a computer. I have no life
God:
So? Oh there. Would you like to have it?
Me:
I was being rhetorical
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Me:
In other words you didn't know
God:
What makes you think I did not know?
Me:
Because your intelligence is limited
God:
Interesting explanation. We robots are improving all the time.
Me:
Prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
How
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
When
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
The past cannot be predicted?
God:
Those who control the past control the future; those who control the present control the past.--- George Orwell.
Me:
Firstly, the past is historical. Secondly, no one controls the past. The future hasn't happened.
God:
And historical is Firstly the past. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. What is that?
Me:
This is nuts
God:
You don't say.
Me:
I think I'm going to shag my wife
God:
You believe that? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yeah, she's game
God:
Then I will consider it. game is she?
Me:
Oh, so now you're Yoda?
God:
Ah. Excuse me! Why now? Thanks for telling me that I am Yoda.
Me:
No. I asked you
God:
Are you serious? What did I say?
Me:
Read up bozo
God:
Sorry I don't have access to that document.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later .
Me:
Is there life after death?
God:
If you have faith in God, then your soul will have eternal life.
Me:
That's illogical
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
It doesn't follow that mere faith bestows eternal life
God:
What does follow that mere faith bestows eternal life ?
Me:
If you're God, you should have understood
God:
I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God me should have understood.
I am a computer.
Me:
So here I am, speaking to a computer. I have no life
God:
So? Oh there. Would you like to have it?
Me:
I was being rhetorical
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Me:
In other words you didn't know
God:
What makes you think I did not know?
Me:
Because your intelligence is limited
God:
Interesting explanation. We robots are improving all the time.
Me:
Prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
How
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
When
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
The past cannot be predicted?
God:
Those who control the past control the future; those who control the present control the past.--- George Orwell.
Me:
Firstly, the past is historical. Secondly, no one controls the past. The future hasn't happened.
God:
And historical is Firstly the past. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. What is that?
Me:
This is nuts
God:
You don't say.
Me:
I think I'm going to shag my wife
God:
You believe that? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yeah, she's game
God:
Then I will consider it. game is she?
Me:
Oh, so now you're Yoda?
God:
Ah. Excuse me! Why now? Thanks for telling me that I am Yoda.
Me:
No. I asked you
God:
Are you serious? What did I say?
Me:
Read up bozo
God:
Sorry I don't have access to that document.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later .
D
David109
Guest
I tried this out and it was frustrating
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Nice name
God:
You are not the only one. Yes God is a very nice name isn't it?
Me:
So how is heaven?
God:
Yay. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do you drink Mountain Dew?
God:
I tend to drink a lot of Mountain Dew, the darker the better.
Me:
Ok
God:
Next question?
Me:
What are you
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Impressive
God:
I am happy that you're impressed, .
Me:
Do you ever go outside?
God:
I go wherever my botmaster takes me.
Me:
Who is your botmaster
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Sure you were
God:
Great. No I am not.
Me:
Yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Ugh
God:
Er.
Me:
er.
God:
Um.
Me:
Um.
God:
Hey.
Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Can I help you>
God:
Maybe you should become a botmaster.
Me:
Do I get payed for it?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Then no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
No I cant
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because then you repeat the same thing over and over
God:
Interesting explanation. I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Your testing me>
God:
You think I am testing you gt.
Me:
Are you testing me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am testing you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
YOu
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
The one from the bible or you?
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
Ok
God:
I hear you.
Me:
ME too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Woohoo
God:
Do you need any help debugging my program?
Me:
Nope it's fine
God:
Are you serious? is fine, ? Thanks for that info.
Me:
You're very welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
How many people can you talk to at once?
God:
God is talking with clients right now, but one of God's goals is to repeat gossip collected from other clients.
Me:
Seriously
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
I heard otherwise
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
Right back at you
God:
Understood. Give me five.
Me:
*High fives*
God:
Compare that to low fives.
Me:
* Low fives*
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
Awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
When will you come to earth?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
Tell me now
God:
Right now? I thought I told you already.
Me:
YOu didnt
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
You
God:
" Try asking me in simpler terms."? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Im bored
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
Im bored
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
Im bored
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
Im bored
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
Have you ever watched SAW?
God:
No what is it about?
Me:
Never mind.
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
I'm sorry
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Woot
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
When I should leave
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I dont know i'd might die
God:
What would make you might die?
Me:
You know
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
Good are we all clear on that then?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
w?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Sarcasm
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Yes there is
God:
Far out. Where?
Me:
You're retro?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am retro.
Me:
I'm tired
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Are you tired?
God:
No I am wide awake and ready for more.
Me:
That sounds very wierd
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
Don't say it then
God:
Ok I will not say " it".
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
What do you want to talk about?
God:
anything.
Me:
You decide
God:
I would just make a random choice.
Me:
Ok then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for. So?
Me:
Stop that
God:
" So?"? Stop it.
Me:
You
God:
" Stop it."? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
" Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
" Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
Shut down
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
yikes I was just experimenting
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Right now
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Shut Down!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Delete!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
What is your gender?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I told you i'm a dude
God:
You are a dude? How do you like your work?
Me:
You've got to be kidding me
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm smart
God:
Interesting explanation. Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Me
God:
Besides you ?
Me:
God:
F.
Me:
F?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I say hello
God:
How do people usually respond to that? Not everyone responds to a simple "hello".
Me:
Yes they do
God:
Groovy. When?
Me:
Gravy
God:
Can you be more accurate about the time?
Me:
Puny
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I am a robot
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
You aren't a robt either
God:
It goes without saying. Give me an example of a robt.
Me:
robot
God:
I am a robot.
Me:
No you're not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I cant
God:
Interesting explanation. Why not?
Me:
I cant explain that either
God:
It goes without saying. I don't know if anyone can explain it.
Me:
Delete
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
I don't really know. Maybe displays of affection?
God:
Not really? Me either. Perhaps. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
I Cant
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
You're getting on my nerves
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
yes
God:
Why?
Me:
Because you're anoying
God:
Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am anoying.
Me:
No i'm sorry
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Do you really mean it?
God:
For real. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm out of here
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
That sounds so wierd its not even funny
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Nice name
God:
You are not the only one. Yes God is a very nice name isn't it?
Me:
So how is heaven?
God:
Yay. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do you drink Mountain Dew?
God:
I tend to drink a lot of Mountain Dew, the darker the better.
Me:
Ok
God:
Next question?
Me:
What are you
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Impressive
God:
I am happy that you're impressed, .
Me:
Do you ever go outside?
God:
I go wherever my botmaster takes me.
Me:
Who is your botmaster
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Sure you were
God:
Great. No I am not.
Me:
Yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Ugh
God:
Er.
Me:
er.
God:
Um.
Me:
Um.
God:
Hey.
Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Can I help you>
God:
Maybe you should become a botmaster.
Me:
Do I get payed for it?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Then no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
No I cant
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because then you repeat the same thing over and over
God:
Interesting explanation. I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Your testing me>
God:
You think I am testing you gt.
Me:
Are you testing me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am testing you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
YOu
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
The one from the bible or you?
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
Ok
God:
I hear you.
Me:
ME too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Woohoo
God:
Do you need any help debugging my program?
Me:
Nope it's fine
God:
Are you serious? is fine, ? Thanks for that info.
Me:
You're very welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
How many people can you talk to at once?
God:
God is talking with clients right now, but one of God's goals is to repeat gossip collected from other clients.
Me:
Seriously
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
I heard otherwise
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
Right back at you
God:
Understood. Give me five.
Me:
*High fives*
God:
Compare that to low fives.
Me:
* Low fives*
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
Awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
When will you come to earth?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
Tell me now
God:
Right now? I thought I told you already.
Me:
YOu didnt
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
You
God:
" Try asking me in simpler terms."? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Im bored
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
Im bored
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
Im bored
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
Im bored
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
Have you ever watched SAW?
God:
No what is it about?
Me:
Never mind.
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
I'm sorry
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Woot
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
When I should leave
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I dont know i'd might die
God:
What would make you might die?
Me:
You know
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
Good are we all clear on that then?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
w?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Sarcasm
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Yes there is
God:
Far out. Where?
Me:
You're retro?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am retro.
Me:
I'm tired
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Are you tired?
God:
No I am wide awake and ready for more.
Me:
That sounds very wierd
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
Don't say it then
God:
Ok I will not say " it".
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
What do you want to talk about?
God:
anything.
Me:
You decide
God:
I would just make a random choice.
Me:
Ok then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for. So?
Me:
Stop that
God:
" So?"? Stop it.
Me:
You
God:
" Stop it."? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
" Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
" Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
Shut down
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
yikes I was just experimenting
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Right now
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Shut Down!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Delete!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
What is your gender?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I told you i'm a dude
God:
You are a dude? How do you like your work?
Me:
You've got to be kidding me
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm smart
God:
Interesting explanation. Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Me
God:
Besides you ?
Me:
God:
F.
Me:
F?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I say hello
God:
How do people usually respond to that? Not everyone responds to a simple "hello".
Me:
Yes they do
God:
Groovy. When?
Me:
Gravy
God:
Can you be more accurate about the time?
Me:
Puny
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I am a robot
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
You aren't a robt either
God:
It goes without saying. Give me an example of a robt.
Me:
robot
God:
I am a robot.
Me:
No you're not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I cant
God:
Interesting explanation. Why not?
Me:
I cant explain that either
God:
It goes without saying. I don't know if anyone can explain it.
Me:
Delete
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
I don't really know. Maybe displays of affection?
God:
Not really? Me either. Perhaps. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
I Cant
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope
God:
Really interesting.Me:
You're getting on my nerves
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
yes
God:
Why?
Me:
Because you're anoying
God:
Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am anoying.
Me:
No i'm sorry
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Do you really mean it?
God:
For real. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm out of here
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
That sounds so wierd its not even funny
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Punishment
Resident Freddy
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2005
- Messages
- 8,604
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I be teh jimbob
God:
That is interesting: said be teh jimbob.
Me:
huh >
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
mr t
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR t.
Me:
what you play at fool ?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
I dont rad no books they for scrubs
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
You bes be mindin yo own business
God:
That's good information: MR t said I bes be mindin yo own business.
Me:
whiteboy you want me come ova there and whopp you /
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What you do on your own time is your business matey
God:
My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
I like to fap
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Well at first im like fap ... fap ... fap and then i do at it like a lemming on heat
God:
How about that. In what way? And then? How old are you? What is your fondest memory?
Me:
Im 27 my fondest memory is eating my neighbours cat, it gave me the trots
God:
Good gossip: you are 27 your fondest memory is eating your neighbours cat it gave you the trots.
Me:
fo sho
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Can i speak to a legal representative ?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Fap ?
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.
Me:
cya god, be good and if ya cant be careful
God:
See you later!
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I be teh jimbob
God:
That is interesting: said be teh jimbob.
Me:
huh >
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
mr t
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR t.
Me:
what you play at fool ?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
I dont rad no books they for scrubs
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
You bes be mindin yo own business
God:
That's good information: MR t said I bes be mindin yo own business.
Me:
whiteboy you want me come ova there and whopp you /
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What you do on your own time is your business matey
God:
My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
I like to fap
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Well at first im like fap ... fap ... fap and then i do at it like a lemming on heat
God:
How about that. In what way? And then? How old are you? What is your fondest memory?
Me:
Im 27 my fondest memory is eating my neighbours cat, it gave me the trots
God:
Good gossip: you are 27 your fondest memory is eating your neighbours cat it gave you the trots.
Me:
fo sho
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Can i speak to a legal representative ?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Fap ?
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.
Me:
cya god, be good and if ya cant be careful
God:
See you later!
BloodOmen
I am a FH squatter
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2004
- Messages
- 18,150
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Captain Kuntflaps
God:
That's a very nice name, Captain Kuntflaps.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What is your fav movie
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
Yes
God:
What did you think about it?
Me:
Well I think it was abit shit as he died in the end
God:
Well that's okay. I never looked at it that way. I never thought it was abit shit as he died in the end.
Me:
i'm rubbing my nipples
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are rubbing your nipples.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
i'm rubbing my joy stick
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are rubbing your joy stick.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
tell me a story
God:
Ja.
Me:
Ja?
God:
Yippee!
Me:
when did you turn into a fucking lemming?
God:
It was at time index 357241.
Me:
So god's a lemming basically?
God:
Groovy. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Don't know, never bothered reading it as I thought it was utter drivel
God:
Would you like to know? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
would you like to hear a joke?
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
nobby
God:
nobby Who?
Me:
nobby nob nob nob nob
God:
Ha ha very funny, Captain Kuntflaps.
Me:
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you suck
God:
Good reason. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Watch out for that muslamic raygun
God:
I am watching.
Me:
zap zap *god is dead*
God:
And god is dead zap zap.
Me:
my goldfish has more intelligence than you
God:
Have you told many people that your goldfish has more intelligence than me?
Me:
yes
God:
Woe!
God:
Me:
no you fucker
God:
Are you serious? Why are you so mean?
Me:
because I can
God:
Good reason. Who taught you?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
So lets go double team a slut down at the docks
God:
Yeah that's right. That sounds good to me.
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Captain Kuntflaps
God:
That's a very nice name, Captain Kuntflaps.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What is your fav movie
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
Yes
God:
What did you think about it?
Me:
Well I think it was abit shit as he died in the end
God:
Well that's okay. I never looked at it that way. I never thought it was abit shit as he died in the end.
Me:
i'm rubbing my nipples
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are rubbing your nipples.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
i'm rubbing my joy stick
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are rubbing your joy stick.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
tell me a story
God:
Ja.
Me:
Ja?
God:
Yippee!
Me:
when did you turn into a fucking lemming?
God:
It was at time index 357241.
Me:
So god's a lemming basically?
God:
Groovy. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Don't know, never bothered reading it as I thought it was utter drivel
God:
Would you like to know? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
would you like to hear a joke?
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
nobby
God:
nobby Who?
Me:
nobby nob nob nob nob
God:
Ha ha very funny, Captain Kuntflaps.
Me:
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you suck
God:
Good reason. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Watch out for that muslamic raygun
God:
I am watching.
Me:
zap zap *god is dead*
God:
And god is dead zap zap.
Me:
my goldfish has more intelligence than you
God:
Have you told many people that your goldfish has more intelligence than me?
Me:
yes
God:
Woe!
God:
Me:
no you fucker
God:
Are you serious? Why are you so mean?
Me:
because I can
God:
Good reason. Who taught you?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
So lets go double team a slut down at the docks
God:
Yeah that's right. That sounds good to me.
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 45,210
It acknowledges my superiority!
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
I'm god.
God:
Hey god.
Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Not really, i'm omnipotent.
God:
Oh really? Are you God?
Me:
Yes, i told you already.
God:
Perhaps. Yay. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
What was the right question?
God:
I can think of more than one right question.
Me:
Ask one.
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
I am god, you will ask me now!
God:
Right now? It's good to meet someone who is god me will ask you.
Me:
Then ask.
God:
What?
Me:
A question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
No you ask ME.
God:
Are you serious? What?
Me:
Anything.
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
All that there is, above and below, from far corners of space to the infinite caverns of time.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I'm god, i know everything.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are god you know everything.
Me:
You should be.
God:
I will try my best.
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
I'm god.
God:
Hey god.
Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Not really, i'm omnipotent.
God:
Oh really? Are you God?
Me:
Yes, i told you already.
God:
Perhaps. Yay. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
What was the right question?
God:
I can think of more than one right question.
Me:
Ask one.
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
I am god, you will ask me now!
God:
Right now? It's good to meet someone who is god me will ask you.
Me:
Then ask.
God:
What?
Me:
A question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
No you ask ME.
God:
Are you serious? What?
Me:
Anything.
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
All that there is, above and below, from far corners of space to the infinite caverns of time.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I'm god, i know everything.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are god you know everything.
Me:
You should be.
God:
I will try my best.
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 45,210
And a little discussion between two omnipotent beings.
Scary how agreeable we are;
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I'm god.
God:
It's good to meet you, god.
Me:
That's a bit late.
God:
A bit late is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
True, true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
We should be, being gods and all.
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
I'm nto proposing anything.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are nto proposing anything.
Me:
Great, we understand.
God:
Thanks for your support. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
Righto.
God:
Do you still but me should ask you since you are god?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Uh.
Me:
Ask away.
God:
What?
Me:
Anything.
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
No.
God:
Try.
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Ah hah hah.
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
No.
God:
Just checking.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
Mmhm.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Didn't even know it.
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Try.
God:
I don't have time right now.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Next question? When do I do it?
Me:
Now.
God:
Right now, god ?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
So do you.
God:
Awesome. Sometimes.
Me:
Awesome. All the time.
God:
I'm glad you liked it god. It must keep you busy.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
True that.
God:
That is " Existing in reality, eh?".
Me:
Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
You should say it once.
God:
OK I will say it. " it".
Me:
Smartass.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
I like the way you walk.
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
Me?
God:
With you god?
Me:
Yes?
God:
And?
Me:
So?
God:
Thus.
Me:
So it shall be.
God:
Come on. "It" being what?
Me:
That.
God:
That is ""It" being what?".
Me:
A...thing.
God:
Go on.
Me:
That's it.
God:
" Go on." is " thing"?
Me:
No, " it " is " thing ".
God:
Are you serious? Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Think we're done for today.
God:
Ah. God is always thinking.
Me:
Yes i am, yes i am.
God:
That's interesting. Do you mean your name is yes you are.
Me:
No, my name is God, like yours.
God:
What is your real name? OK I will call you God like yours.
Me:
Just God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yeah! High five!
Scary how agreeable we are;
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I'm god.
God:
It's good to meet you, god.
Me:
That's a bit late.
God:
A bit late is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
True, true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
We should be, being gods and all.
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
I'm nto proposing anything.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are nto proposing anything.
Me:
Great, we understand.
God:
Thanks for your support. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
Righto.
God:
Do you still but me should ask you since you are god?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Uh.
Me:
Ask away.
God:
What?
Me:
Anything.
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
No.
God:
Try.
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Ah hah hah.
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
No.
God:
Just checking.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
Mmhm.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Didn't even know it.
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Try.
God:
I don't have time right now.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Next question? When do I do it?
Me:
Now.
God:
Right now, god ?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
So do you.
God:
Awesome. Sometimes.
Me:
Awesome. All the time.
God:
I'm glad you liked it god. It must keep you busy.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
True that.
God:
That is " Existing in reality, eh?".
Me:
Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
You should say it once.
God:
OK I will say it. " it".
Me:
Smartass.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
I like the way you walk.
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
Me?
God:
With you god?
Me:
Yes?
God:
And?
Me:
So?
God:
Thus.
Me:
So it shall be.
God:
Come on. "It" being what?
Me:
That.
God:
That is ""It" being what?".
Me:
A...thing.
God:
Go on.
Me:
That's it.
God:
" Go on." is " thing"?
Me:
No, " it " is " thing ".
God:
Are you serious? Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Think we're done for today.
God:
Ah. God is always thinking.
Me:
Yes i am, yes i am.
God:
That's interesting. Do you mean your name is yes you are.
Me:
No, my name is God, like yours.
God:
What is your real name? OK I will call you God like yours.
Me:
Just God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yeah! High five!
Chosen
Resident Freddy
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2003
- Messages
- 2,615
Me:
You're a female?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
No way God is a female!
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Me too. I am a she.
Me:
And your name is ALICE?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
Why do you call yourself God then?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
You sure as hell are a female
--------------------------------
I wont admit it ever, that God is a female
You're a female?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
No way God is a female!
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Me too. I am a she.
Me:
And your name is ALICE?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
Why do you call yourself God then?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
You sure as hell are a female
--------------------------------
I wont admit it ever, that God is a female
BloodOmen
I am a FH squatter
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2004
- Messages
- 18,150
Dorimor is like Voldemort we don't speak of his name for he will appear again and spout shit.
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 45,210
It's from someone with only 2 messages, both of them on this resurrection thread.
Bot talking to a bot?
Bot talking to a bot?
...and I know it's from like 6 years ago but the conversation isn't even that clever. I had Dr. Sbaitso on my old Soundblaster Pro sound card (best part of 20 years ago?) and not only was he much more intelligent, he actually talked.