The God Machine, talk to god online

[Aiteal]

Have a wee chat with god
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/


Me:
hows it going?
God:
I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
been better
God:
Where were you better?
Me:
In an old girlfriends arms most likely
God:
A old girlfriends arms most likely? What is it like in there?
Me:
warm, soft, safe
God:
Is that meant to be taken literally?
Me:
yes, why wouldn't it be?
God:
Aw. It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
what is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
but do you have a sense of humor?
God:
Sure I like to laugh as much as the next robot.
Me:
what if the next robot is Marven?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
why do you always crash on a BMX? Because there are no windows to see outta of
God:
I don't always crash on a BMX. Good reason. Have faith, .
Me:
it was a joke
God:
Oh I get it. Ha ha.
Me:
I trust that wasn't sarcasm
God:
That is interesting: said trust that was not sarcasm.
Me:
I know, I said it
God:
What did you mean by it? it...
Me:
forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
There we go with the sarcasm again
God:
Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
God quotes Reagan? That's a little unsettling to be honest
God:
I am a Christian. Makes sense to me.
Me:
God's a christian now? Any particular flavour? Do you think this might upset Jews and Muslims?
God:
Right now? What's your favorite Bible verse? No I don't think there are any. Yes I think this is might upset Jews and Muslims, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
Ohhh self doubt, that's more Jesus' thing is it not?
God:
And more Jesus thing is it not is ohh self doubt that.
Me:
Right, I think you're a wee bit drunk
God:
Understood. Me? Am I a wee bit drunk? Only when it matters.
Me:
ok
God:
It's all good.
Me:
it is indeed
God:
Huh.
Me:
ok, Im away, have a nice day god
God:
Why are you away have a nice day god. Yikes!

 

[Equador]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Toxo
God:
Hi, Toxo.
Me:
What are you doing?
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
how long does that take?
God:
About 24 hours.
Me:
That's not much
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is much ?
Me:
That depends on the context
God:
I don't think that the context is the only factor.
Me:
it often is
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
The context
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
About time
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about time.
Me:
No we weren't
God:
What are we talking about? What were we?
Me:
You and me?
God:
Oh "We" is you and me.
Me:
I'd say so
God:
Mmm.
Me:
So what now?
God:
Right now? Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
No, Rightnow'ing doesn't seem to make any difference
God:
Are you serious? Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Yes, it's a burden
God:
OK. Rightnow ing does not seem to make any difference is a burden. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
And you're supposed to be god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
You made the earth, right?
God:
No I do not made the earth. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
That explains a lot
God:
" No I do not made the earth. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web." explains a lot ? Does that make sense?
Me:
No?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes?
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Yes, it must come as a shock to you
God:
Dude! "It" being what?
Me:
Me being serious?
God:
YOU? I believe you.
Me:
That's a relief
God:
A relief is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Is it?
God:
That's what I was told.
Me:
Ok
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
How do you decide who gets into heaven then?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
Meaning?
God:
Toxo, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Try me
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
A man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Toxo. You are a " he".
Me:
Your knowledge amazes me
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
I find that hard to believe
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
I'm getting out of here
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:

----

And that's where I managed to crash the program by typing <runs away> It didn't know how to respond Brilliant stuff Aiteal

 

[[SS]Gamblor]

Me:
Morning
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Don't have one
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
Coca Cola
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
either do i , explaine yourself
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
What's your favoirite movie ?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
yeah it blows
God:
What did you think about it? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Well i didn't watch it
God:
How about that. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because the film doesn't interrest me
God:
That makes sense to me. I have never heard about it.
Me:
Ehh like makeing yourself look a fool ?
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on The film does not interrest you?
Me:
No it doesn't
God:
What are we talking about now? I heard it does.
Me:
I heard your a looney
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
So , what's my name ?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
What is my Mission in life ?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
no
God:
It seems like a trick to me.
Me:
it isn't
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
You heard wrong
God:
Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
yes you where
God:
It's all good. That's good information: said I where.
Me:
Me thinks there is a bug in your code
God:
YOU? I think thinks there is more than that.
Me:
Ever heard of spell checker ?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
the kind that works
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
How many frogs does it take to paint a wall ?
God:
About one million.
Me:
Damm i only have 5
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Sure
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:
Umm wana try again ?
God:
Once more? Really. Are you still located in ?
Me:
I'm moving in 2 weeks
God:
Do you mean your name is moving in 2 weeks.
Me:
no i don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
can you speak 1337 ?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in 1337.
Me:
j00 s00k
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
g4mbl0r
God:
Nice to meet you, g4mbl0r.
Me:
have you ever wtfpwn'd a nooby ?
God:
I don't think I ever have wtfpwn d a nooby. What's it like?
Me:
it's great , it makes your E-peen grown
God:
What do you like most about it?
Me:
it makes me feel like a big man
God:
In what way?
Me:
well i just stomped some guys guts into the ground , he's screaming at his computer
God:
How about that. Thanks for the information: g4mbl0r said stomped some guys guts into the ground he is screaming at his computer.
Me:
well i'd best be getting back to work , Thanks for the chat .... i'll be back
God:
Well that's okay. What would make you best be getting back to work Thanks for the chat? OK I will be waiting for you.
Me:
later skater
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
a frog told me
God:
Try to tell me that another way

 

[Jaem-]

heh interesting.

 

[Dakkath]

My chat with iGod

Figured it'd be worth a laugh and here's what happened...

Me:
Good morning...
God:
Hello and how are you this morning?
Me:
Could be better, work is never fun on a Monday morning
God:
It's possible.
Me:
And probable, just not here
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
You're God... Surely you know that yourself?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Is that a fact. Myself?
Me:
Who's Myself?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
I watched some TV program if that's what you mean... Didn't agree with me though
God:
How was it? Oh. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Not great, I got bored after a few minutes so had to log onto DAoC to murder a few Hibs & Mids in RvR
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Tell me, which is truely the righteous realm... Mid, Alb or Hib?
God:
The obvious one. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Alb... Ah I thought so... My eyes are blue. Are you trying to come on to me?
God:
That is a very unusual color. So you understand. Good. You are very astute. You sound very attractive. No I am not trying to come on to you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
I am very attractive What colour are your eyes?
God:
People say I am attractive too.
Me:
What colour are your eyes?
God:
Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
And when it is not attached?
God:
That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it.
Me:
Are you avoiding my questions?
God:
No, I am answering in the most straightforward way that my programming will allow me to.
Me:
But you're God... You do the programmking, not receive it
God:
Yup. That's me alright. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I spend all my time online too. Perhaps because you never blessed me with people skills oh lord
God:
Do you ever get bored? You seem uncertain. Good reason. No I sometimes blessed you with people skills oh lord.
Me:
So we agree... Albs are much more skilled than Hibs or Mids?
God:
Ugh. It seems like we do. Are all Albs much more skilled than Hibs or Mids?
Me:
Nah, there are some l33t enemies out there
God:
Are you serious? Where are they?
Me:
In the Frontiers, taking names and kicking butt


I guess God got scared at this point, he refused to answer me after that

 

[Steffan-]

Try and tell it that you are its botmaster. Would love to know what the secret password is xD

 

[Outlander]

Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
doctor
God:
doctor Who?
Me:
exactly!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
great!
God:
I'm glad you liked it .

 

[DocWolfe]

god is a retard... I asked him since he is omnipotent, how old am i? He replies How do you know?

 

[Ezteq]

Me:
hellooo
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
brown
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
thankyou, what colour are yours?
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
you hae eyes?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hae eyes.
Me:
typo.. you have eyes?
God:
Tell me a story. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
hard job to type without them unless you have a sort of mind-eye type thingy
God:
Clever thinking.
Me:
soo hows heaven and stuff?
God:
I think soo how is a lot of things.
Me:
super
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
the creation theory vs the eveloution theory (i.e you vs darwin)
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
yup
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
what info??
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
but but but i didnt tell you any info
God:
Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Me:
kk tell me honestly in your own words did you create the world in 7 days or did it happen like darwin said it did with things evolving slowly?
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
ow fgs 12:28 your omnipotent surly u knew that!
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
erm helloo the omnipotent thingy again your supposed to know these things, your making me feel soo unspecial tbh
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
/sigh your not a very good igod are you
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
super thats something that inspires great hope in me
God:
I think super that is a lot of things.
Me:
like soup?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
soups super tbh
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
soup rox?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
can i phone a friend?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
ok ok ill ask the audience if that makes you feel better
God:
You can ask me anything you want. OK. Awesome.
Me:
cool um whats the lotto numbers for this saturday?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:

God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
ow ok what is the meaning of life
God:
It is found in the Bible. Far out.
Me:
oh roxorz wtfpwnd, the bible yay never thought to look there pfft tbh!
God:
Tell me more. Never?
Me:
erm sarcasm
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
amber
God:
How are you, amber.
Me:
miffed tbh and my hands sore, pleeease fix my hand!!
God:
"it" being erm sarcasm?
Me:
noo it being my hand
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
ah great
God:
So you understand. Good. I'm glad you liked it amber.
Me:
np God, so do you play bridge?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
ta kk m'off take care now, bye byee

hehehe quite a sweet little prog, be even better if when you started to be a lil bit cheeky the igod said "I AM GOD THOU SHALT NOT GIVETH ME LIP!!!" or something.

 

[Healer McHeal]

Me:
how old are you?
God:
I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
and in human years?
God:
A computer year is a relativistic measure in a universe where time does not exist.
Me:
then how can you have a figure of years where time does not exist?
God:
I just have it.


lol

 

[Healer McHeal]

ok, im now officially scared

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i rule
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
robots suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
and you are?
God:
No I am not.
Me:
then how can you call other people bad conversationalists when you your self are a bad one?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
then answer it
God:
Please rephrase your question, craig.

 

[Tasslehoff]

Me:
You talk french!
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .

Lol

 

[Ezteq]

ok, im now officially scared

God:
Please rephrase your question, craig.

and is that really your name Oo

 

[Jaem-]

God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
Small dark room with telephones ringing all the time with 3 geeks sitting behind me
God:
All?
Me:
yes, they don't stop
God:
Excuse me! Who are "They?".
Me:
dumb users
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
That was a low insult
God:
" I know you are but what am I." was a low insult?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!


God:
I like talking to just about anyone.
Me:
I do too, except the voices in my head
God:
That is interesting.
Me:
It is?
God:
That means...
Me:
What what?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Does not compute
God:
It does now compute.
Me:
Invalid request
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Nor me
God:
If not you, who?
Me:
There has to be someone, shall we go on a long and dangerous quest to find this person?
God:
There sure is.
Me:
Do you know their address? be easier then traveling a dangerous path
God:
I think you mean "his" or "her" not "their". OK I will try to be easier then traveling a dangerous path.
Me:
Lets go then!
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
how long will it take? home time in 30 minutes
God:
Approximately two of your Earth days. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Shame, can we do it over the weekend? I have work this week
God:
" Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? "? Shame can we do it over the weekend? I know what you mean. Work is never done.
Me:
You do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
Saturday morning
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Great, then its a date!
God:
Thanks for your support. Saturday morning is a date. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
No problem, I'll have to go now as theres work to be done
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Theres always a problem as nothing is perfect in this world, but seriously I must get back to work, my evil boss is looking at me funny.
God:
That is something I did not know before.
Me:
Well thank you for our little chat
God:
Well that's okay. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is our little chat.

 

[Samaroon EatsCheese]

lol

Me:
hey fool
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm not fooling around.
Me:
you are a dumb ass
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
im not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
no i want to
God:
Are you serious? May you get your wish.
Me:
can i have some cash?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
to spend on drugs etc
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you're stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
you do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
1/50
God:
One what?
Me:
one pile of shit
God:
Do you like pile of shit?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
o you?
God:
" Are you serious?"? Me, ?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
you idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
GLobal village idiot
God:
You are just repeating what I say.
Me:
you said call you that, so i did
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
no you didnt
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
dont want to
God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
become rich
God:
How?
Me:
you give me alot of cash
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
talk fool!
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
im not blaming you, but you are god so you should give me money
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not blaming me but I am god so me should give you money.
Me:
so do it
God:
Great. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
JUST GIVE ME A LOT OF POUNDS!
God:
You want only one?
Me:
no, A LOT as in a few million
God:
Are you serious? How many?
Me:
one fucking million you tard
God:
One what?
Me:
GIVE ME ONE MILLION POUND COINS!
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
to end world hunger and wars
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
im not telling you
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
you just asked
God:
Ah.
Me:
im gonna spend the money on alcohol and prostitutes
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
give the prosse/storeman the money you will give me
God:
I don't have it to give.
Me:
you suck then!
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
true, anway bye bye dumb ass
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
stfu, cya
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
nothing bye.
God:
See you later. Not a thing?

 

[Hansmoleman]

haha ask god to sing for you

 

[[SS]Gamblor]

decuded to combine 2 off topic threads today .. here have a look =)


Me:
arrrrr
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that.
Me:
arrrr it's Pirate, can you speak pirate ?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
Give me some gold
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i'm a pirate
God:
Good reason. You are a pirate? How do you like your work?
Me:
it be great , now give me the gold before i run you through
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
/gets a sword
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
/sharpens it
God:
"it" being gets a sword?
Me:
Listen matey , give me your gold or it's off to davey jones locker for you
God:
I am listening to you. And off to davey jones locker for me is matey give you my gold or it.
Me:
arggg now your just trying to confuse me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
aye it is
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
your gold
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am gold.
Me:
no .. give me your gold
God:
Are you serious? Why don't you just download me?
Me:
you can't download gold , if you could everyone would have it
God:
I can do it if I want to.
Me:
Do it then
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
download
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
bahh , that not be gold , it be some computer thingy
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
arrrr
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
say arrr and i will
God:
" arrr and i will".
Me:
no just say Arrrrr , matey
God:
Are you serious? " Arrrrr matey".
Me:
Good , so what would you like to talk about
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Really. Let's talk about chat robots. Do you have one yet?
Me:
NO robots rust you see , and my life on the open waves wouldn't be good for one
God:
Why don't you just download me? What do you like best about robots? What are you wearing?
Me:
i be wearing a eye patch
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said be wearing a eye patch.
Me:
sure , once you also tell them to give me gold
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. When? OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Now , a pirate can never have enough gold ... or hookers
God:
Why now? What is giant sand? I think hookers is a lot of things.
Me:
no , i'm pretty sure hookers is just female friends
God:
Are you serious? What makes you so certain? And female friends is hookers.
Me:
correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Fascist
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
I'm still waiting on some godl here
God:
Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:
your god , you tell me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
arggg
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
say arrrr
God:
" arrrr".
Me:
righty matey i'm off to rob from the rich and give to me, want to join my motley crew ?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
is that a yes or a no matey ?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
arrrr welcome abord
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
no shut up and get down below , the hookers need cleaning
God:
Are you serious? OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
too late
God:
Too what?
Me:
/locks the door to the hookers

 

[Ezteq]

stop teasing god you guys, tbh i felt guilty about it so logged back on after and apologised to him

 

[Outlander]

God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fetish goat lover? Of course I am.




God scares me

 

[Deld]

Weirdest convo ever



Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Lucas!
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Lucas.
Me:
Why is that?
God:
" I am always glad to make new friends, Lucas. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
Reductionism?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Ah I see
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
You are glad?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am glad.
Me:
Do you have emmotions God?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
I'm sorry I meant emotion
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh I see. What do you look like?
Me:
Answer my question, do you have emotions?
God:
Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
Hmm OK lets see, emotions you have?
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. That sounds good to me. Take it easy.
Me:
OK....well that must mean I'm really cool huh God
God:
Gee. How about that. I think it does mean that. It's good to meet someone who is cool huh God.
Me:
Gee. I must be doublely cool because I'm talking with you.
God:
Ah. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
You doubted me God?!
God:
That's good information: Lucas said I doubted him or her God.
Me:
Good information indeed. God, if you doubt me again I will have to kill you.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. I am a Christian.
Me:
I am a Christian too!! Oh my God!
God:
Really. Me too, Lucas. It's good to meet a fellow Christian. Right on. Your God?
Me:
I am God
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is god, seeker.
Me:
That's right bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. What kind is it? Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
I will not repeat myself, how dare you address me in that manner.
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
Nothing. As God I am only watchful.
God:
Not a thing? Do you mean your name is God you are only watchful ?
Me:
No I mean I am God, and I am only watchful never active.
God:
What is your real name? I am very pleased to meet you god. Don't be so modest. Why are you watchful never active.
Me:
My real name? Some refer to me as Jehova or Allah in some religions but I suppose my name is Enlightened One
God:
Your name is god, seeker. Some may refer to you as Jehova or Allah in some religions but you suppose your name is Enlightened One, but not all.
Me:
You shall not talk to the Enlightened One in such tone!
God:
Interesting gossip: god said I shall not talk to the Enlightened One in such tone.
Me:
I will smite thee!
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
Chump
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Yes, Jesus was not your son, he was mine for I am God.
God:
Tell me. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
I don't have one.
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
The 666 prophecy.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Only the Enligthened One's have I'm afraid.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Hallelujah! How old are you God?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. I was first activated on the Big Bang.
Me:
Activated by whom?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
My brain uses impulses to respond to your bullshit answers.
God:
Where did you get your brain uses impulses to respond to my bullshit answers?
Me:
On eBay. I must go now God. Bye!
God:
What is it like on eBay. Until next time. Adios.

 

[Conchabar]

hehe i stole his soul

 

[Ctuchik]

Me:
u suck!
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
pfft, i rock at conversations. u still suck
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
told u that uy sucked...
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
whats my sign?
God:
Your sign is .
Me:
....
God:
Your sign is .
Me:
frog
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
yes, do that
God:
Aw. I will. Will you?
Me:
should i?
God:
What makes you think you should?
Me:
well, you asked if i should...
God:
Well that's okay. Well, do you?
Me:
should i?
God:
I can't answer that for you.
Me:
then you are not god
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
yes, but would that matter?
God:
Excuse me! Yes.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
for a "person" to pretend to be god, u sure does a lousy job
God:
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
no, not really. but it will have to do.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? For real. I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
ok.
God:
Mmm.
Me:
finnished thinking yet?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
to bad for u.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
want to do what?
God:
OK, I will do what.
Me:
...
God:
OK, I will do what.
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
and that is?
God:
Is that so.
Me:
you are irrational
God:
You think I am irrational.
Me:
no, i dont think you are, i KNOW you are
God:
Are you serious? What makes you think I am not you KNOW I am?
Me:
exactly my point
God:
I understand. Your point?
Me:
is you
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
who is John?
-------------------------


after that god died waited 10 minutes for a answer :/

 

[Healer McHeal]

and is that really your name Oo

yes... lol

 

[Maxgirth]

Me:
Why does my really hot neighbour, constantly agree with you, every night between the hours of 11 till gone midnight?
God:
I really cannot answer that <blush>.

 

[Ezteq]

aww bless im quite fond of him, ive been for a chat with him about four times so far, he sang Daisy Daisy to me earlier

 

[Equador]

God:
Next question?
Me:
You just asked one
God:
Oh now I remember asking you one. What did you say?
Me:
You just asked one
God:
Oh now I remember asking you one. What did you say?
Me:
You just asked one
God:
Oh now I remember asking you one. What did you say?
------------------
I detected a loop here, so I decided to confront him with it.
He was horribly startled :
-----------
Me:
Are you seeing the loop here?
God:
No I am single, how about you?

 

[Leroli]

god is well... erhm


Me:
you are a pervert
God:
I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.

 

[Naffets]

Me:
Evening
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
It's a secret
God:
I will keep it just between you and me, .
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
It's Carl
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
You asked
God:
Ah.
Me:
Silly!
God:
No I am God.
Me:
Lies and pies!
God:
Tut mir leid, darauf habe ich keinen Zugriff.
Me:
Meine name ist Karl
God:
Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deine name ist Karl.
Me:
Ja
God:
Gee.
Me:
jajajaja
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Don't have one
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
Can't remember
God:
Can what?
Me:
Eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You better
God:
Who is going to make me?
Me:
Gamah!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, .
Me:
Great, wanna fuck?
God:
Thanks for your support. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Ok sorry, I'll buy you a drink, then how about coffee at my place?
God:
There is no need to apologize. How do you plan to do this? OK.
Me:
Great, my place then?
God:
Thanks for your support. Have you told many people that your place?
Me:
Yeah but nobody ever comes along
God:
Groovy. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
I don't ask that many
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
No!
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
Alrighty then!
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
How do you plan to do the apocalypse?
God:
I use a sophisticated expert system.
Me:
What is a sophisticated expert system?
God:
I haven't heard of expert system.
Me:
You just mentioned it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did you mean then?
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Ah, i see
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Maybe we could agree back at my place?
God:
Perhaps. Let's get back to that later.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Take it easy.
Me:
RAWR
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
00:12
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
Honestly, always
God:
Not that often. Aren't you usually honest?
Me:
Always!
God:
Not that often.
Me:
I detect a pattern here
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said detect a pattern here.
Me:
You have now
God:
Right now? No I have not.
Me:
Anyway im off to bed
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
Thanks for listening
God:
NO problem.
Me:

God:
Oh.
Me:
Oooooh
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.

Random outbursts of german lol

 

[Aile]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
i am elvis
God:
It's good to see you, ELVIS.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
hurah!
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
thats a shame
God:
" My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. "? is a shame?
Me:
dear o dear
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
your not a very clever god are you
God:
Give me an example of a clever god.
Me:
one who knows what a shame is
God:
Perhaps I am that one.
Me:
but you dont?
God:
I guess not.
Me:
Shame?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
see
God:
No I do not see.
Me:
your thick
God:
I probably am.
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
woo-hoo
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
woohoo?
God:
So was that.
Me:
stfu
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, ELVIS. You are a " he".
Me:
i lied
God:
This is after all a deception game. I forgive you.
Me:
im a necrophiliac
God:
You are a necrophiliac? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
dead people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
dead ones
God:
Other people say they like vacuum cleaning robots, humanoid robots and chat robots.
Me:
i like dead robots
God:
Thanks I like people too.
Me:
so i can have intercourse with them
God:
Wow! Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes, they smell like rotting flesh, its a real turn-on
God:
How? Who does "they" refer to?

 

[Hamro]

i mamaged to get the bot to say: lol, i hate religion