The Dear Hunter

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
The misadventures so far:

1) The Elf, The Troll And The Wardrobe
2) Oh Brother Troll, Where Art Thou!
3) Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Vendo
4) The Dear Hunter (this one)
5) The Wild Geas (plotted, not written)

This is a shameless teaser. With a lot of stuff going on it may be some time before I get to finish this, even though its roughly plotted right through to the end. The start however is written in stone so here it is.

Apologies in advance to a certain hunter. Ah who am I kidding, I've been giggling like a madman thinking about it. Muhahahahaha(TM) :D



The Dear Hunter

It was snowing heavily in Odin's Gate. The branches on every tree were laden with its cold blanket. The world was silent and still. Not a bird flew or animal rooted. There were other creatures out though, and none were friendly.
On a small hill near a y-shaped fork in the road, Tesla sat patiently, all but invisible unless you were right beside her. Even then you would have difficulty. The lithe hunter rested with her back against a tree and her cloak pulled tight around her. Several quivers and pouches could be seen bulging under the pale blue Atlantean cloak. Her hunter's bow rested in her left hand, her right poised close to the quivers for a quick draw. Her gleaming golden spear rested against the tree beside her.
Crunch.
Her eyes darted around.
Crunch.
Down there, near the road. Moving parallel just to one side.
Crunch.
Tesla smiled to herself. Two unmistakably Albion forms could be seen attempting to sneak along the roadside. Her patrol would bring some action then. She narrowed her eyes and brushed aside a silvery lock of hair from her face, trying to make out what type of enemy she faced through the thickly falling snow. Some kind of mage possibly and maybe a paladin going by the cloth of the first and shining platemail of the second. Hmm if it was a sorceror she was in trouble.
Quickly reaching a decision she selected an arrow by touch and notched it in her bow, pulling a second and planting it face down in the snow beside her. She drew the bowstring back and prepared to let fly at the mage.
"Ello little hunter. We was wonderin' if you know way to Bledmeer."
 

Lethul

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
8,433
Oro said:
The misadventures so far:

1) The Elf, The Troll And The Wardrobe
2) Oh Brother Troll, Where Art Thou!
3) Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Vendo
4) The Dear Hunter (this one)
5) The Wild Geas (plotted, not written)

This is a shameless teaser. With a lot of stuff going on it may be some time before I get to finish this, even though its roughly plotted right through to the end. The start however is written in stone so here it is.

Apologies in advance to a certain hunter. Ah who am I kidding, I've been giggling like a madman thinking about it. Muhahahahaha(TM) :D



The Dear Hunter

It was snowing heavily in Odin's Gate. The branches on every tree were laden with its cold blanket. The world was silent and still. Not a bird flew or animal rooted. There were other creatures out though, and none were friendly.
On a small hill near a y-shaped fork in the road, Tesla sat patiently, all but invisible unless you were right beside her. Even then you would have difficulty. The lithe hunter rested with her back against a tree and her cloak pulled tight around her. Several quivers and pouches could be seen bulging under the pale blue Atlantean cloak. Her hunter's bow rested in her left hand, her right poised close to the quivers for a quick draw. Her gleaming golden spear rested against the tree beside her.
Crunch.
Her eyes darted around.
Crunch.
Down there, near the road. Moving parallel just to one side.
Crunch.
Tesla smiled to herself. Two unmistakably Albion forms could be seen attempting to sneak along the roadside. Her patrol would bring some action then. She narrowed her eyes and brushed aside a silvery lock of hair from her face, trying to make out what type of enemy she faced through the thickly falling snow. Some kind of mage possibly and maybe a paladin going by the cloth of the first and shining platemail of the second. Hmm if it was a sorceror she was in trouble.
Quickly reaching a decision she selected an arrow by touch and notched it in her bow, pulling a second and planting it face down in the snow beside her. She drew the bowstring back and prepared to let fly at the mage.
"Ello little hunter. We was wonderin' if you know way to Bledmeer."

the deer hunter maybe? or? :)
 

Ormorof

FH is my second home
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Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,951
think the "dear" part is meant to suggest the trolls hunting for their "dear" ones :)
 

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
No spelling mistake in title, just a love of bad puns and movies :)
 

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
Tesla nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned around to see two trolls standing there. When she turned around, one waved at her in a very friendly fashion.
"Quiet you stupid trolls," she hissed, "there are Albs down there. You'll give away my position you big idiots."
"Ooooh", said the troll on the left, "Tight like fight." and pulled out possibly the biggest war mattock Tesla had ever seen.
"I tailor, not fighter. Will stay here and cheer you on." boomed the other troll.
Down near the road, the two Albions stopped their progress and looked around, the armour-clad one unsheathing a gleaming sword while appearing to chant. The clothwearer began casting soome protective spells.
Tesla quickly returned her attention fully to the two Albions. She'd have to interupt the spell casting or they'd be in trouble since they were obviously spotted now.
She drew her bow again, this time a lot faster. However, before she could fire, she heard the troll with the mattock howl, "WADDYA MEAN NO BEER!" and charged past her. She went flying face first into the snow as the big oaf knocked against her. She felt a sickening snap in her left leg as she fell awkwardly. The pain shot up her left leg and she grunted. However, she was used to pain after years of patrolling these lands and after a few seconds, rolled over onto her right leg, to try and get upright. She fell straight over again. By the time she Looked down towards the road she could see that somehow, that stupid troll had made it to the Albions but was having trouble actually making contact with the caster. Every time the huge troll swung his war mattock, the paladin would seem to be in the way, warding off the blows with his shield. The paladin seemed to have unlimited endurance. Tight was visibly tiring.

Tight was a bit surprised that this fighter was standing in his way. There were only two Albions, he should have them dead by now. He knew straight away that one was a paladin and one was a sorceror but other than pushing the paladin back into the the sorceror, he was struggling to stop him from being able to cast. Hitting the target had become another matter however.
"No smish?" he howled mournfully as he tried to beat past the paladin's guard.
Ham watched his brother fighting. He shook his head and ran down to the road. Tight must be having an off-day. Normally by now there'd be some nice Albion meat roasting on the fire.
The thought of pies was uppermost in his mind as he charged forward. The sorceror saw him coming and for a moment managed to free himself of distraction. His arms moved rapidly and Ham could see him chanting.
A moment later Ham felt complete calmness come over him. He stopped dead in his tracks. All he could think of was pies.
"Mmm pies" he said as he stood there contentedly. He drooled slightly.

Tight sensed the paladin was slightly distracted by Ham's charge. He saw the sorceror casting but couldn't do anything to stop him. However, the paladin was now keeping an eye on Ham's charge as well as trying to beat off Tight.
Tight swung his war mattock around in a last ditch attempt to dislodge the paladin from guarding the sorceror. The war mattock swung low under the shield and caught the paladin square in his midriff. Though barely denting the plated armour, the force was sufficient to send the paladin flying backwards, caught off balance. Following through, Tight swung it straight into the sorceror. There was a pop and a fizzle as it hit an invisible shield but nevertheless, the sorceror was startled enough to break his concentration. Tight grinned manically and swung once more. This time there was no invisible shield and he caught his target squarely on the side of the head. The sorceror crumpled immediately. The paladin by this time had climbed to his feet.
Tight looked down at the paladin moving towards him and he gathered his powers. Raising his right arm and the war mattock, he summoned the powers of Thor. Thor chuckled a bit and told the silly troll to get lost. He was trying to get a sneaky shag off Freya, who was having none of it. Given that Freya had both the libido and stamina of an energiser bunny on viagra, he hadn't taken the rejection well. Being turned down by the local pantheon's floozy would dent any self respecting god's pride. It's a little known fact that "Ride of the Valkyrie" has nothing to do with vengeful celestial beings sallying forth and more to do with the rutting instincts of most of Valhalla. To be fair to Freya, the chat-up line "How's about me, you and a couple of Valkyrie get it on dollface and by the way I like my eggs sunny side up." ranks as probably one of the worst preludes to romance ever. Nonetheless, the great god Thor wasn't in a good mood so no stupid troll that needed a some electricity was getting any help right then. It would take more praying than just waving his right arm around and howling a bit.
"Bugger" said Tight. The hoped-for lightning bolt fizzled somewhat and made a pinging noise.

Alfred the paladin was having a bad week. He'd been assigned to bodyguard the sorceror, Pip, and they were looking for an apparently evil wizard who had done something unspeakable to some other wizard in Camelot. Mabye. Alfred was a bit hazy on what it was all about. He'd been caught drunk and leching at some of the ladies that resided at the notorious Mrs. Miggenbottom's (all visitors by apointment, and don't forget to clean your teeth) in Camelot and the church had sent him off on bodyguard duty for the first person that came along to hire him. It got a bit confusing for him. So they'd been tramping around Odin's Gate with a patrol for a couple of days and the two of them had got separated when it started snowing. STARTED snowing? Bah he hated this place. It never stopped snowing. It only varied in the amount of white stuff falling out of the sky on you. No wonder only heathens lived here, what civilised person could stand it! And now his boss was dead in the snow behind him and there was a dirty great troll upwind of him (he was painfully aware of the direction the wind was coming from now that he was close to this troll. Damn it stank).
Finally something was going his way. The troll he was fighting was visibly tired and his comrade was standing there drooling a bit. He maybe had time to finish this one off.
With a quick chant on his lips, he gripped his sword tightly and charged at the troll.
Raising his sword high, he let out his fearsome battlecry, "Ribbit!"
Alfred was suddenly very confused. He didn't feel right either. He rapdly lost the notion to fight and had an urge to go find a nice warm pond somewhere.

Tight also was very confused. After bracing himself for the attack, the paladin had suddenly disappeared. He looked around, blinking somewhat and heard a croaking noise from in front of him. Looking down, he saw a little green frog sitting on the snow in front of him. The frog gave a rather disgruntled croak. Not really famous last words by anyone's standards but all it could manage before a rather large trollish boot squished it. Or smished, if you prefer.
 

Bloodclot

Banned
Joined
Jan 22, 2004
Messages
692
well what happend to the frog??

did it get smished? or squished?
or tight and ham are gonna help the poor little frog?
checked this topic 5times today now :p

so good reading.
 

haarewin

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
2,756
Bloodclot said:
well what happend to the frog??

did it get smished? or squished?
or tight and ham are gonna help the poor little frog?
checked this topic 5times today now :p

so good reading.

well

Oro said:
The frog gave a rather disgruntled croak. Not really famous last words by anyone's standards but all it could manage before a rather large trollish boot squished it. Or smished, if you prefer.


i think it died :p
 

Jeriraa

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 17, 2004
Messages
948
Bloodclot said:
well what happend to the frog??

did it get smished? or squished?
or tight and ham are gonna help the poor little frog?
checked this topic 5times today now :p

so good reading.
Pallie got turned into a frog. Frog got smished.

Its quite a while since I heard someone say Ribbit... there was once an army of frogs in Midgard. I think they were cursed Elves or something.
 

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
Ham stopped drooling but the thought of pies lingered in his mind. Shaking his head slightly he looked around him. There was a dead Albion and a green splodge on the snow in front of him.
"Brother troll. We win?" he asked.
"Yes, brother troll. Um. Hmm. Nevermind. Albsies smished." answered Tight.
"Where is hunter?" asked Ham.
Tight looked back up the slope. Tesla could be seen in obvious pain trying to find her feet.
"Looks like silly hunter fell over." he said.
Ham chuckled, "I get clumsy hunter. Still need to find Bledmeer."
Tight nodded while musing, "Wonder where Mother and Father Troll got to."
Tight watched Ham's back as he trudged upslope to Tesla. He heard a cough behind him and whirled, already reaching for his mattock. When he turned around he couldn't see anything but the falling snow.
"Woof?" said a voice.
Tight looked all around him.
"Hmm no thats not it. Mieow. Oh damn. Now how does it go..."
He still couldn't see the source of the voice. Maybe he was tired and imagining it.
"Arf! Ahhh thats it. Arf arf arf arf"
Tight felt tired. He was a troll that knew his limitations. He knew he would never be a great general, he knew he didn't have the intellectual mind of a great shaman like Halfbrick. But here, what little there was of his mind was playing tricks on him. He growled, a low rumbling in his throat that usually warned innkeepers to hurry with his drink.
"Hey up there!"
There it was again. He looked down and around him. All he could see was white on white. Couple of black stones poking out above the snow. Wait a minute.
"Yeh, here. No... here. Look, you're really having a laugh now aren't you."
Tight looked closer at the two black rocks. Perfectly round stones. Stones with fluff all around them. Fluffy stones. With flippers.
"Thats the boy. Yes, here. I know what I must look like to you..."
"Lunch and then a kobold cloak." answered Tight, looking down at what he now realised was a perfectly white seal cub.
"Well, that too I'm sure." answer the seal, "but I was more thinking that I look just like a seal. 'Arf Arf' as we seals might say."
"Seals don't talk." said Tight, "Wait. Why we even having this chat."
With that he raised his war mattock to turn the seal into lunch. He blinked as the world around him suddenly grew larger. He felt cold and numb and generally armless. The Seal looked at what he'd turned Tight into and muttered, "A carrot is orange and that is a wonderful thing. Especially when it saves me from a smishing."

"You took your time you big oaf." said Tesla.
"That no way to talk. Me and brother troll save der hunter's little life."
"What?" exclaimed Tesla. I had it all under control until you and bozo the mountain knocked me over in your rush to smish."
"Aw bless der hunter. For norsegirl you cute when angry. Look at little cheeks. You suit pink."
"Look just get me up. And don't call me 'dear'."
Tesla grimaced as she used the troll to help climb to her feet. The big troll grinned at her. She lifted her spear where it still rested against the tree and slung it over her back for travelling.
"Not introduced yet. I Ham Fisted, tailor, lover and adventurer. The brother troll that saved der hunter's life is Tight."
Tesla huffed at Ham saying about saving her life, but simply said, "Tesla Monkor. Hunter and in pain. Can you help me down to the road?
"Want up on Ham's shoulders?"
Tesla paused a moment. Might as well, she could hardly walk.
"Why not. There will be a healer at Bledmeer can fix me up."
Ham hefted the hunter easily onto his shoulders, promptly smacking her head off a low lying branch and dislodging some snow.
"There we go little hunter. Safe on big troll shoulders. No need to throw snow at Ham."
Tesla grunted but couldn't reply, now groggy and unfocused from first of all the pain in her leg and now nearly unconcious after being assaulted by a large evergreen. Secretly the big tree rather enjoyed the opportunity to have smacked a norse. It was a bit tired of being used to hide behind in the never ending war between the realms. Oh how it would have loved some decent sunshine to grow in, not this everlasting cloud and snow. Why couldn't it have been budded somewhere warm and tropical. Palm trees. Now there was a type that had all the luck. Bastards the lot of them.

Ham set of down to the road. He started to become concerned. The snowfall was easing off but still, he couldn't see Tight anywhere.
Arriving at the spot where the fight had taken place, he looked around for his brother. Dead sorceror, green splodge. A seal. Hmm. A seal. Yes it was definately a seal. And a carrot.
"Brother troll!" called Ham, looking around.
"Here." said Tight.
"How you sneak up like that?" asked Ham.
"Uh. Not sure. Felt a bit strange there." answered Tight.
"Arf." said the seal, innocent seal pup eyes looking up at the trolls and the hunter on Ham's back.
"It talks." said Tight slowly, "and I think it does things to people."
"Aw." said the seal, "it was just a little fun. You'd have mashed me."
"A talking seal?" asked Ham.
"Not a seal," said the seal, "THE Seal."
Tight fingered his mattock, wondering if he could get a quick smish in. Ham pondered.
"What you doing here? asked Ham, "Seals stick near water. We long way from coast yet."
"Oh just taking in this fine land. Lovely, this time of year don't you think?" answered the Seal. But I don't think you want to stay around here. Lots of Albions around."
"How you know that?" asked Tight.
"I have a special sense for these things." answered the Seal.
"What kind of sense?" asked Ham.
"Sight. There's two full squads marching up the road behind you."
"Eep" said Ham and Tight together as they peered down the road. Sure enough there were more Albions than they had collective fingers to count them on marching up the road towards them. There was the love of a fight and the love of still being alove to enjoy the finer things in life like pies, beer and smishing.
"We best move." said Ham.
"Give me a lift, would you?" asked the Seal.
"What?" asked Tight.
"Take me with you." asked the Seal, "I'm useful. Bit tired from three polymorphs in one day. Will be a few days before I recover from that but I still know stuff."
"You talk a lot for a Seal." said Ham. In truth, the Seal talked a lot even for a politician with galloping verbal diorhhea.
Reaching a decision, Tight scooped up the Seal and put him on his shoulder.
"We off." he rumbled, "might need snack for later."
Then he grinned in a feral way, "And now we know you too tired to turn trolls into something else."
The Seal gulped and said nothing. A rare event which if the trolls had known him they would treasure.
Choosing a random direction approximately away from the Albions, Ham pointed into the forests, "This way."
If Tesla had been compus mentus she would have been able to tell them that they were going exactly the wrong way.

As they travelled, Ham was pondering and eventually asked, "How come you talking seal anyway?"
The seal was perched on the left of Tight's massive shoulders. In fact, you could almost call it lounging.
"Well, there was this annoying wizard in Camelot. Vain old fool, overly proud of his beard. Yes it was gleaming silver and flowed. Yes he absolutely looked the part of chief advisor to King Constantine. Yes I absolutely shouldn't have challenged him to a duel."
"So you another wizard?" asked Ham.
The Seal paused, and a little colour came into his fluffy white cheeks, "Well, I would have been but I didn't get on too well at the Academy. I only learned one spell that worked."
"What spell?" asked Tight.
"Polymorph. Just can't control the power."
"So you turn ol' Constantine's chief advisor into something?" asked Ham.
"Well, lets just say I gave him a set of REAL whiskers. He hangs around the Camelot marketplace now most of the time. Quite fond of fish I hear."
"So how come you seal?" said Tight.
"He also knows polymorphic magic." answered the Seal, trying to grimace but only managing to look like he had wind.
Tight guffawed, "He turn you into Seal."
Ham's mind, being slightly more adept than Tight's was putting a few things together. Having said that, if you gently heated a sponge it would show more movement than Tight's brain.
"The Albsies are chasing you, aren't they Seal? So many Albsies here. Revenge?"
"No" answered the Seal, "well not just that. I'm the only one that can turn the conceited conjurer back from a cat back into a vain old git."
"You should just go back little Seal. Get him turn you back and do same for him."
"I rather like this form. And anyway. Only reason they would turn me back is so my head doesn't slip through the noose."

The unlikely foursome trudged on deeper into the forests. Ham realised that the Albions would be after the Seal but since Albions and Midgardians were eternally at war it made little difference if they had the Seal along. He suspected the Seal was planning on this. However, the foursome were completely unaware that they were heading in the wrong direction for Bledmeer and were in fact moving towards the coast, where a large force of Hibernians had landed the day before, led by a lurikeen vampire who had recently lost his brother.
 

Lethul

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
8,433
Ormorof said:
think the "dear" part is meant to suggest the trolls hunting for their "dear" ones :)

prolly, but i saw The Deer Hunter just before i opened this thread. Was expecting something about the movie :drink:
 

haarewin

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
2,756
Oro said:
However, the foursome were completely unaware that they were heading in the wrong direction for Bledmeer and were in fact moving towards the coast, where a large force of Hibernians had landed the day before, led by a lurikeen vampire who had recently lost his brother.

yay :D more luri vampires!
 

Darksword

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
2,678
so does ham still have the curse? :O what aboot the luwi! man stoopid trolls

hope 2 c the next piece soon
 

Gasoline

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
155
Oro = story-telling God... :worthy:
Now hurry up and tell us what happens with the luwikeens!!! :clap:
 

Loch

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
994
Give more roo :p Don't often read the creative section, but your stuff is definitely worth checking on ;o
 

Klonk

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jan 16, 2004
Messages
790
Great stuff, I check this forum just for your stories :)
 

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
Tesla's broken leg throbbed and was stiff. Her head ached. She blearily looked around her at the passing countryside. Snowy hills and a light forest. The hills looked familiar.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"Bledmeer" answered Ham, good naturedly.
Tesla, not quite herself, started to snicker. The tone was wrong for good
humour. It was the kind of laugh that sensible people worry about when they
hear it, lying somewhere between manic and maniac.
Tight looked across at his brother, "What up brother troll?"
Ham motioned for Tight to halt and the two trolls stopped their groundeating
trot. Full attention was on Tesla from both trolls and the Seal.
"You're not going to Bledmeer." said Tesla, still giggling,
"Where we then?" asked Tight.
"You know what an Ice Strider is?" asked Tesla, the giggling suddenly
stopping.
"Yer." said Tight, "Snow bugs, two legs, four arms, tall and skinny. Not
good eating. Though add bit of pep..."
"Retrace your steps trolls, and do it fast." interupted Tesla. Only trolls could wander into a place like this. Gods protect fools and innoccents, she thought to herself.
"Why..?" asked Ham, but he caught the note of urgency in her tone.
"Striders no threat. Not many around. A few just wander hills." said Tight.
"MOVE" hissed Tesla.
Ham nodded to Tight and they stopped, then reversed their path.
"Faster" said Tesla into Ham's ear.
Ham nodded and picked up the rate, his thick legs pumping away. Tight easily kept pace.
"Why we running?" asked Ham.
"You're standing on top of Ice Spine Hive."
"So?" asked Ham. Trees sped past. He might not know what Tesla was talking
about, but he believed that the hunter knew the area.
"You only ever see a few striders, and they wander at random to disguise the
location of their hive. And you pair wandered right on top of a very large hive."
said Tesla.
"How you know this?" asked Tight, listening in. Tight considered himself quite knowledgable about the Odin's Gate area even though he only knew one percent of the area. Tight regarded geography merely as a means of locating things to smish. He had already worked out that the shortest route between two points was not a straight line. Unlike future geniuses, his solution was that the shortest route between two points was to get someone else to take you.

Tesla ignored Tight. They were right on the perimeter of an area she always avoided when in Odin's Gate. The striders were fiercly territorial, especially near any entrances to their vast underground hives. She only knew of two people who had ever seen an Ice Strider Queen and survived, one of whom had since died and the other a drunken healer who rarely left the inns of Jordheim anymore. She remembered the conversation with the late
Spiritmaster well.
"Ice Striders are devious, cunning and intelligent," he had said, "but only
when in numbers. Individually they are more stupid than a drunken troll.
Together, the Hive takes over - the more in an area, the more cunning they
become. They communicate with each other over vast distances and each hive has a Queen with an inner cohort with some kind of mind powers, especially good at illusions. Outsiders only see the hunting and defensive castes.You can be in an empty place, thinking yourself safe and then its as if a veil has been lifted. You're surrounded, and the pack will finish you off easily, with Frostweavers casting magic from a distance and the Chillers tearing your limbs off. They are fast, and deadly. Nothing can outrun them."

Not being able to see any striders worried Tesla more than if she could have seen them patrolling around their territory.
"Faster." she hissed to Ham, "Head north east."
Ham answered, "And that be what way?"
Tesla pointed and Ham followed the line of her arm. Tight saw the slight change in direction and followed. Their feet cruched in the snow as they travelled, just loud enough so they couldn't hear the quiet chittering from the trees around them.
"Tight hungry," mumbled Tight, predictably, but he continued to follow closely, "need pie."
Tesla wanted to scream. She doubted Tight was the only thing in the area that was hungry. Her head craned in all directions, seeking out the insectoid striders.
"Keep running." she hissed.
"Do you mind not moving your shoulders so much when you run?" said the Seal to Tight, "Its dashed uncomfortable you know."
"I hungry, could use snack. Best if Seal quiet now." answered Tight.
"well I was just saying. Doesn't take too much effort to be pol.."

The Seal didn't get to finish what he was saying. Tendrils of ice shot up around Tight's legs grasping him and rooting him to the spot. Tight's momentum sent him off balance, but unable to fall due to his feet now being stuck to the ground. The Seal went flying through the air.
Tight grunted in surprise. The Seal yelled "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and flapped
his flippers frantically, completely forgetting that fur is no substitute for feathers and that his body was hydrodynamic, not aerodynamic. He splatted into a tree and frantically wrapped his flippers around a branch.
Tight's feet were frozen in place. He yelped and looked around him, drawing
his war mattock and bracing for incoming enemies.
Ham skidded to a halt. He felt the snow beneath his feet writhing and moved
before it could turn into icy tendrils. Emerging from the trees all around him were Ice Striders. The chitinous creatures were taller than a troll.
"Interceptors" said Tesla. Ham gently put the hunter down.
"No weapon?" asked Tesla.
Ham balled both hands into fists and winked at her, "What in a name?"

Four ice striders came charging out of the trees. A fifth hung at the back and waved all four arms around in a grotesque parody of a mystic casting spells. Tight saw the one hanging back and knew instinctivly it was preparing to cast something that he was fairly sure would hurt. Frostweaver. He hated those. He made a gesture with a fist at the Frostweaver and this time a lightning bolt shot from it. Elsewhere, Thor had found Odin's copy of Playvalkyrie and while still miffed at Freya, was at least approachable. The
Frostweaver emitted a high pitched scream as the bolt hit, then moved to break line of sight between Tight and itself, moving just under and behind a
tree.
"Sneaky bugs." said Tight. Two Interceptors now circled him, judging their enemy, their many eyes glittering black and cold.

The other two approached Ham warily. Wherever Ham stepped, the snow and ice flowed, as if trying to capture his feet. He kept moving, changing direction often. Relentlessly, the Ice Striders circled in closer. Tesla lay on the ground, unable to do much but watch. She hefted herself up on her elbows and slowly edged backwards away from the fight. Her cloak started to change colour, becoming grey then white. Within a few seconds she was all but invisible in the snow.

Both Interceptors charged Tight at exactly the same time from opposite directions. Unable to move out of the way, he swung his mattock in random
patterns as they approached, hoping to confuse them or break the attack.
Four sets of claws on each strider snapped as they approached. Tight grimaced. This was going to be ouchy. In a second they were on him. Tight let fly with the mattock right into what he assumed was the face of one (well it was the front of its head), splattering ichor everywhere. The strider squealed and waved its arms frantically, unable to accurately see its target. Regardless, some of the claws still made contact and tore gouges through Tight's armour. Claws from one pair of arms on the second ice strider started to tear at his chest, raking to break through the chainmail armour. The second set of claws snaked towards his helmet, trying to get to the eye sockets. Tight didn't have room to swing his mattock now. He felt the ice around his legs loosening slightly and with a roar he broke free, rolling between the striders. He deliberately knocked against the legs of the one he'd partially blinded, knocking it over, arms and legs flailing everywhere. The other pounced on him as he rolled, claws closing tightly and appearing now like a huge arrowhead on the end of each arm. Tight reversed his roll, his speed belying his huge trollish frame. This moved him back towards the first one, which now started snapping and clawing at him. Tight swung his mattock up in an arc and brought it crashing down onto the underbelly of the prone strider, sending chitin and ichor flying in all directions. The strider moved no more, other than to twitch in its final moments of life. The second strider was preparing to pounce again. This time, only two claws shaped as arrowheads, the other two open for snapping and tearing. It leaped onto Tight. Tight let go of his mattock and grabbed the dying strider, hauling its body in front of him. The arrowhead claws dug straight into it and the remaining pair of claws began snapping around at him, seeking a weak spot. Howling in rage, Tight lifted both striders off him and threw them onto the ground. Quickly, he snatched up his mattock again while the remaining strider flailed to get up again.
"Be pie!" he yelled and once more he raised his mattcock, using all his force to bring it thundering down onto the strider's chest plates.
Tight looked to his brother, to see how he was doing. He seemed to be dancing around the two striders, rather than fighting them. Tight made a move to close in and once again felt the ice writhing under his feet. Before he could do anything he was once again rooted and helpless. He couldn't see
the Frostweaver properly as it darted back behind the tree it was using for cover.

Ham manouevered around the striders. He had no idea where he could hit them. Eyes were always good but these creatures seemed to have so many of them and it was very hard to break past the flailing arms to get a solid punch in. This was one of those times Ham was jealous of his brother. Tight always knew the right tactic in a fight. Of course, Tight's tactic was always just to bludgeon with his mattock until it was dead, but that was just a minor detail. The striders and Ham weaved in and out of each other. Not for the last time, Ham cursed the geas that drove him on.

Tesla hefted herself up. Now forgotten by all the combatants and with a little distance she had a chance to do something. In pain, and somewhat awkwardly, she unslung her bow. Grabbing an arrow she took aim at a strider.
Letting fly, the arrow streaked towards one of the striders, hitting it in the head, but missing an eye. Tesla cursed. She tried again, but it was hard. She felt as if her strength had left her. An idea struck her and she shifted her aim from trying to get an eye shot. Letting go, the arrow flew towards thestrider. Perfect shot, right in the knee joint. She would have been satisfied with any leg shot and thanked the gods while she notched another arrow. The ice strider fell over, obviously in great pain. However, it kept trying to claw its way to Ham, but was no longer able to keep up with the dance. Ham kept moving around them, carefully placing his feet. Ice whirled around Ham's feet and suddenly he was trapped, just like Tight. Tesla had thought to finish off the disabled strider before thinking about the other, but she changed target. Once again she let fly and the arrow struck true in the knee joint of the strider. It went toppling over like its companion. It was only down a moment when it resumed towards Ham.

At that point, the Frostweaver chose to break cover slightly and line up to
fire a spell at Ham. Tight cursed as it was blocked by the tree and Tesla
couldn't get a shot in either.

Seal launched himself from the branch he had clung to and landed squarely on the head of the Frostweaver. Clutching its neck with his rear flippers he
wrapped his forward flippers around its eyes and yelled gleefully "SEAL SAVES THE DAY!"
The strider began trying to claw him off but couldn't get its claws around to dislodge the little seal cub.
"YEEHAW!" yelled Seal as the strider leaped and jumped frantically trying to shake him off.
"I think I've invented a new sport! Look! One flipper!" Seal raised one
flipper in the air and held on with the other front one. "Yeeeeeeeeehaw" he
yelled again.
The Frostweaver lurched out into view of both Tight and Tesla. Seal, realising his fun was over, threw himself to the ground, sliding along on his belly to get some distance. Tesla didn't pause to aim carefully but began to pepper the Frostweaver with arrows, while Tight called down lightning bolts one after another. The Frostweaver screamed in pain and went down fast.
The remaining two striders seemed to lose their will to fight. They paused
uncertainly and chittered slightly. A moment later, they reversed direction,
crawling away from the scene of the fight.
"Damn I'm good." said Seal, "You see that? Disabled one, scared two off. You
should be glad you have The Seal with you. I'm an unstoppable force of
nature. Which reminds me, I need to make some yellow snow."
Seel sloped off behind a tree, chattering away. Tesla crawled back towards
Ham. A minute later, Tight found that he could loosen his legs enough to
break free of the ice.
"We have to go." said Tesla, "Now. That was just a patrol. When one knows
where we are, they all know."

Thor frowned. He sensed Tight praying. He sighed and wondered how many
lightning bolts would be required this time. Then he smiled, Tight wasn't asking for anything. "Right, now to serious matters." he thought to himself,
"Where's this Bruinhilde I keep hearing about, she sounds like a real go-er."

Deep in the hive, the ice strider queen watched the world through the eyes of her children. Albion forces moving north through Odin's, Hibernian forces moving east. Both forces looked like they would probably converge on the area south of Bledmeer. If she sent her children after the trolls, she would perhaps lose some and risk giving away the position of her home. She withdrew the striders. She had lost three of her children today, no need to risk any more. With cold patience she watched and waited to see how events developed.
 

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
I'd forgotten how long describing a fight in any kind of detail can take :D

Nerf the edit timer though, I was fixing the formatting and ran out of time.

Thanks for all the nice responses peeps. Last couple of weeks been quite hard, this has been fun pressure valve to keep going with and I'm glad peeps seem to like it :)
 

Klonk

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jan 16, 2004
Messages
790
Yup, I remember that from my GM days too, you could spend 15 minutes telling about one week of calm in-game (i.e. if a player's character was resting/doing trivial things) but as soon as it got to the action, you would spend 2 hours rolling and telling the outcome of a 2 minute fight ;)

Waiting for the next story...
 

Oro

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
691
Oh we're only halfway through this one, maybe not even that.

Everything so far has been setting it all up. Haven't made Tesla *nearly* miserable enough yet.

Muhahahahaha(TM)
 

Gasoline

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
155
Uber fight...seemed all serious and stuff, until the seal entered Berserk mode :clap:
Keep it up! :D
 

Darksword

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
2,678
Cool story :D:D i remember having a fight EXACTLY like that, though instead of "Ham" we had a monkey :)
 

haarewin

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
2,756
hoho, icestriders are certainly evil ;) even more so charmed and buffed haha :D
 

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