The Cyber Partner - Cheating or Not?

[old.user4556]

pictures of kittens, or pussies?

 

[Damini]

I was looking at pictures of kittens the other day. Am I cheating on my cats?

Completely different thing. That would apply to the question "Is looking at other woman cheating?". I was going to say is looking at porn cheating, but it sounded so inherently wrong when used in the context of cats that I backed away. Perhaps if you started e-mailing other cats, finding out their likes and dislikes, secretly talking to them when your cats weren't in the room... perhaps if you did that, but then if you did that, your cats thinking of you as a cheat is the least of your worries.

 

[Tom]

Well I'm sure they wonder what I get up to when I'm working away from home. Although tbh I'd much rather have a woman licking my face in the morning than a whiskas-breath cat.

 

[Scouse]

Not really. I just live in the real world. And being of rational mind I realise that life is made up of shades of grey. Nothing is EVER as clear cut as cheating or not cheating.

Really? So if you're having sex (or even snogging) another woman/man without your girlfriends knowledge or consent that's a "grey area"??

Yes, there's lots of grey areas in the world - but lets be honest - lots of things are black and white too..


But I do cheat on my cat all the time. I've even been found stroking others

/shame

 

[leggy]

Really? So if you're having sex (or even snogging) another woman/man without your girlfriends knowledge or consent that's a "grey area"??

I was directing my post at "bad person or not".

We all have our definition of cheating but you cant lump everyone who snogs someone behind their partner's back into the wanker category. There is far to much to take into consideration. Which is what I think Maxi was trying to say.

I'm not saying that on a base level it isn't wrong. It is. But you can't simplify everything like that.

By merely saying "emailing someone is cheating" you are ignoring all the variables that define, and make up, a situation.

 

[Trem]

Well I'm sure they wonder what I get up to when I'm working away from home. Although tbh I'd much rather have a woman licking my face in the morning than a whiskas-breath cat.

My mate used to let his cat lick his dick.

 

[Scouse]

I'm not saying that on a base level it isn't wrong. It is. But you can't simplify everything like that.

Y'see. I'm not saying that you're bad people (I'd be a world-class hypocrite if I did). But I do think you can simplify the whole cheating thing.

Nothing really makes going with someone else behind someone else's back right does it...?

Maybe I'm just old fashioned eh?

My mate used to let his cat lick his dick.

And Yuck.

But I did read something about a village of spaniards somewhere gang-raping a pelican to death and then cooking and eating it. (Not cat related but still randomly sick)

 

[old.user4556]

My mate used to let his cat lick his dick.

A mate eh? .......

 

[Trem]

Erm..yeah...*cough*

I've never owned a cat!!

His name was Neil, Neil Worgan.

/me waves to Neil

 

[old.user4556]

Completely different thing. That would apply to the question "Is looking at other woman cheating?". I was going to say is looking at porn cheating

For the record, looking at porn is not cheating .

 

[Brynn]

For the record, looking at porn is not cheating .

what about wanking off to porn?

 

[old.user4556]

Don't see the difference really , but no it's not cheating.

 

[Sar]

For the record, looking at porn is not cheating .

No, it's not.

When you involve yourself to any degree of sexual arousal with a person other than your spouse/partner, then it's cheating.

But Jenna Jameson doesn't count.

 

[leggy]

Y'see. I'm not saying that you're bad people (I'd be a world-class hypocrite if I did). But I do think you can simplify the whole cheating thing.

Nothing is ever on a base level though is it. There are always circumstances. The guy in the pub who is fucking some blonde tart behind the back of his loving wife and kids. He is a ****.

The guy who is being abused by his wife. Goes out and kisses someone else. He is not wrong. He actually couldn't be more right.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

....than a whiskas-breath cat.

You are of course aware that cats are very clean animals. They lick clean every part of their body frequently, including of course their arse. That is "second hand" whiskas you can smell.

 

[Gengi]

No, it's not.

When you involve yourself to any degree of sexual arousal with a person other than your spouse/partner, then it's cheating.

.

Agree with the first part, whole heartedly disagree with the second part. We are human beings, there are preprogrammed responses built into us, and for men seeing a nubile woman *should* bring on some form of sexual response (obviously this does not hold true for the entire population, homosexuals may not have this autonomic response I do not know).
What makes a difference is how we react, I personally do not consider a kiss/snog as the bar/club is chucking out as cheating, but that is about it.

Another question is brought up by this debate.

Is visiting a prostitute cheating ?

later

 

[old.user4556]

Visiting a prostitute? Yes, i'd say that was cheating.

 

[Gengi]

Visiting a prostitute? Yes, i'd say that was cheating.

Ok so cheating is a physical act.

What if you never touched the woman/bloke who lives across the road, but fancied the pants off her, and fantasized that your current partner was them during sex is that cheating ?

What constitutes cheating, a purely physical act of sex, a physical act of sex with some form of emotional involvement, emotional involvement to a high degree with no physical sex acts, or some combination of the above ?

Later

Gengee

 

[Scouse]

The guy who is being abused by his wife. Goes out and kisses someone else. He is not wrong. He actually couldn't be more right.

Disagree here. He should leave his wife tbh. Then he can go out to snog/shag whoever he likes.

Personally I see cheating like this as an individual act - circumstances around it don't really matter.

It's like saying, if your dad beats you up all the time, raped your sister, beats up your mum then, after years of abuse where you finally crack, then it's OK to kill him. It's not. It's understandable, but not OK.

(OK. Bit extreme an example, but all I could think of in my hungover state)

 

[old.user4556]

Ok so cheating is a physical act.

What if you never touched the woman/bloke who lives across the road, but fancied the pants off her, and fantasized that your current partner was them during sex is that cheating ?

What constitutes cheating, a purely physical act of sex, a physical act of sex with some form of emotional involvement, emotional involvement to a high degree with no physical sex acts, or some combination of the above ?

Later

Gengee

Hmmm, getting into some powerful hypotheticals now.

I'd say you could be considered emotionally cheating and perhaps also deceiving yourself, but to the best of my knowledge it's not uncommon and quote normal for couples (particularly more longer term and mostly men) to fantasize during sex. Sex and love are getting intertwined here.

Quick google: http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0633.html

All red blooded males aren't designed to have just one partner, so your mind will wander, you will look at a fit bird and think "wow, she'd be a really good pump".

I sometimes think about my relationship with my ex, I had no emotion for her at all, it was purely sex and physical. I still think about her from time to time and sometimes think about what it might be like to do it again, but it's just my cock thinking aloud; i see no harm. I'm only male fs .

 

[Scouse]

I'd say you could be considered emotionally cheating and perhaps also deceiving yourself, but to the best of my knowledge it's not uncommon and quote normal for couples (particularly more longer term and mostly men) to fantasize during sex.

Don't kid yourself G m8. Women have always been the bigger cheaters. Throughout history (provable through the archaeological record) you'll find that around 10% of kids aren't actually born to the fathers they think they are. And that's as true today as it has ever been.

But that's really kind of an aside. I tend not to fantasise about other women during sex - I simply can't think of someone else whilst fucking whoever is right in front of me

 

[Sar]

Agree with the first part, whole heartedly disagree with the second part. We are human beings, there are preprogrammed responses built into us, and for men seeing a nubile woman *should* bring on some form of sexual response (obviously this does not hold true for the entire population, homosexuals may not have this autonomic response I do not know).
What makes a difference is how we react, I personally do not consider a kiss/snog as the bar/club is chucking out as cheating, but that is about it.

Another question is brought up by this debate.

Is visiting a prostitute cheating ?

later

I said, "When you involve yourself to any degree of sexual arousal with a person other than your spouse/partner, then it's cheating."

So, no. Fantasising about someone else is not cheating. It is a physical thing imo.

 

[Bodhi]

I'm going to interrupt this dicussion again with my situation as y'all are getting FAR too hypothetical. Every situation is different and as maxi said to try and rationalise a fundamentally irrational subject is just plain ludicrous.

Anyway, is it a good sign that her mates are still talking to me?

 

[old.user4556]

Don't kid yourself G m8. Women have always been the bigger cheaters. Throughout history (provable through the archaeological record) you'll find that around 10% of kids aren't actually born to the fathers they think they are.

Oh i never said cheat, i said to fantasize during a pump.

mmm Monica Sweetheart

 

[Damini]

Bodhi, it's a very good sign, as it shows that you aren't the one that did something wrong, or if you did, then its so minor as to not send her female friends into the feral unleashing of savagery (which we do, like Furies, upon Men Who Wrong Our Girl Friends).

You need to just see her face to face and talk. She's avoiding you because she's embarrassed, and the longer it goes on the harder and more awkward it will be. Put her and you out of accumalative misery.

Bit of a disclaimer though - it sounds like you've got a real live wire there, and if you're looking for a stable trouble free relationship, or even a trouble free screw, it will be best to shop else where. Unless she's 14, girls that get drunk and snog a lot of guys in one night tend to have a lot of baggage.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

I call them crackwhores.

 

[Trem]

I call them WazzSlags.

 

[TdC]

hmm. the dutch have a saying that goes more or less like this "you're allowed to get hungry outside, but you have to eat at home." works for me tbh.

by my own personal rules I'm allowed to look at, talk to and even go out with (within reason) ladies other than my gf, just as she can do the same with other men. we both do this and it's fine with me. I draw the line at a touch with sexual intent and I do not intend to cross it. Were I ever to be in a situation wherein I would want to cross said imaginary line I would have to break off my current relationship first before I could continue.

 

[Bodhi]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


She talking to me again


*does a little dance*


Actually scrap that

*does a big dance*

 

[old.user4556]

Glad to hear!