The case of the missing SomeGuy

[]SK[]

Hi babe,

P.S I found a URL for viagra. Oops better not say that here!

 

[Will]

This place get's weirder and weirder...

 

[bodhi]

After 3 hours of revising for my marketing test tomorrow you guys are doing my nut in

 

[Testin da Cable]

Originally posted by SomeGuy
Dammit!

/note to self... SerialKilla knows too much...

you guys are aware I'm a narc right? My boss tells me I have to make you two "go away" now. Your hired help wacking Don Scopolomine in front of the burgerking was going too far.

 

[Summo]

You ain't nuttin' but a lotta talk an' a badge!

You wanna piece o' me? You wanna f'king piece o' me? Right here!

 

[Wij]

Please ignore my associate officer TdC. He's an idiot.

Perhaps you'd like to discuss these issues with Candy and Sherrie here... while they lez up... then suck your cock.

Oh, and here's 5 grand. I'm sure you'll agree that we did nothing criminal in any of those killings/kneecappings/bombings/selling-drugs-to-kids-ings (delete as appropriate)

 

[Testin da Cable]

<crackle>
"teams 1 and 2, hold back. 3 and 4, you guys can go home with my thanks."
<crackle>
"Snipers, don't shoot the one in front like I told you to...just leave him for a minute..."
<crrrr><weeeee>
"control, I may have a new option. I'm going in to check it out"
"sure agent Cable, enjoy"
"I intend to, control. out"
<squeek><hiss>
"all teams, I'm going in for half...for an hour. if you lose contact with me at any time...have the uh special team take out the building"
<clack><screee>
"the building boss?"
<crackle>
"did I stutter?
"no sir!"
<click>

 

[Summo]

F'king ignore me? Ignore me? You wanna try ignoring Mister D. Eagle, here? I got a permit from the mayor says I can carry this piece inna courtroom.

I wan' him dead! I wan' his family dead! I wan' his house burned ta da ground! I wanna go to his grave; I wanna piss on his ashes!

 

[Testin da Cable]

<crrrr>
"snipers, the one in front is being a pain again...can you take him down without killing him?"
"sure boss, which knee you like?"
<crackle>
"I want him neutered Sniper1"
<crack><hisss>
"no problem boss"
<click>

 

[Summo]

GRAAAGH! Yasonofabi0tch!

What choo done to me, man? I'm gonna die! I'm gonna f'king die!

No more liddle SomeGuys... Whas' my wife gonna say? I ain't no man.

You'll pay! You'll f'king pay!

As soon as I get this bullet outta me plums.

 

[bigbb]

golly.

 

[Wij]

Did you forget your kevlar Y-fronts ???

You really aren't very good at this 'legitamate businessman' thing are you. Look, one of my under-leiutenants will be glad to donate you a pod later. For now just shut up or I will kick you until those bollocks become soup !

Denise ? Yes, would you go in and help Candy and Sherrie smooth over our potential differences ? Yes, you could try shoving your finger up his arse if you want, but only a little way, to see if he likes it. If not then concentrate on on the bell. And the lezzing.

Man, I'm good at this.

 

[Summo]

Grrrrrnngggkkkkkk....

They'll pay... they'll all pay. Gotta keep a low profile until the time is right. Gotta follow orders until the day I strike. Gotta... Can they hear this?

 

[Wij]

Not any more. I just chloroformed you.

Yes, that's right Denise. Dip your finger deep into the cocaine pile first.

 

[Will]

Is your organisation recruiting at the moment?

I would quite like to combine my work and pleasures into one lifestyle option. You know I'm qualified.

 

[Wij]

You want to become a dead-nun h00ker ? Demand for those dropped off around '85. I make most of my money p1mping labradors and staple removers these days.

Even Waz is losing me money hand-over-fist

 

[Will]

Labradors? That's your problem - the real money is in Yorkshire Terriers nowadays. I'll take 15% of any profits you make from that advice - as a favour.

 

[Wij]

Any advice from non-'made' n00bs is happily stolen and the kind giver then dumped into the canal with a fine pair of concrete lace-ups. Thx

 

[Will]

You've messed with the wrong guy this time. After my lessons from 'Chopper' Harris, I think you can expect a 'visit' in the night. And don't expect to be receiving my nice metalwork...

 

[Wij]

A visit from your nice metal chopper is no threat to one such as me. I have 20 bodyguards in each and every orifice. I have clones made by those American blokes on standby all the time. And, I've just broken your legs with this here crowbar

*smug*

 

[Will]

Nah, that wasn't me, that was an undercover cop. I think I hear sirens coming now...

And it must be hard to run with all those bodyguards in your orifices.

 

[Wij]

Unfortunately I have the police all nice and bribed. Take him away boys.

Enjoy your term of porridge Itchy.

btw - it's not called porridge cos that's what you eat for breakfast. It's cos that's what your shit will look like after the first night

 

[Will]

One day, I will have my revenge. Unless...

<mobile call>Officer TDC's office please...
I have a propostion for you that you may find interesting...

 

[Wij]

I think you'll find TdC's h00kers were laced with cyanide. And knives

 

[Will]

You truely are fiendish - I must give in before such a superior evil genius. It's porridge time for me.

 

[Wij]

Labbly Jabbly. Sorted. Init.

Wazz. Give this man a freebie befoe he goes. I'm feeling sympathetic

 

[Will]

Given what happened to TDC, I think I'll pass.

 

[Wij]

You're learning. Respeck.

 

[Will]

I guess that 'accident' must have really hurt Summo - he's been very quiet since (and who can blame him?)

 

[Wij]

Tomato and Fish Soup anyone ?