Science The Bacon Report

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
The objective of this research was to definitively answer the contentious question of the optimal method of cooking bacon between the disputed techniques of baking and frying*. To settle, once and for all, upon the method of cooking that gives the best balance of most pleasing texture, scent, asthetic value and, most importantly, flavour.

The bacon used in this test was sourced from a small farm which sells its high-quality wares in the Eurospar, Dollgellau, North Wales.
bacon1.JPG


Method 1: Frying

Place two rashers of bacon in a 30cm Le Creuset Toughened Non-Stick Deep Frying Pan
with no oil, that had been on a large gas hob on full with a 30 second pre-heat for 150 seconds per side, turning once.

baconfrying.JPG

Method 2: Baking

The average of four methods, supplied by @Calaen, @Lamp, @dysfunction and @Raven was taken and applied rigourously.

Place two rashers of bacon in an oven at 200 celcius, pre-heat of 2.5 minutes on a foil-covered baking tray (edges turned slightly up) for exactly 1200 seconds, checked and turned at 1050 seconds, in accordance with the average values submitted.
baconbaking.JPG

Results

TTB: Frying was clearly the winner in the TTB (time to bacon) stakes. Delicious pork preserve was on my genetically superior bacon-tasting equipment in just over 300 seconds whereas a full 400% increase in TTB was experienced with the baking method.

Asthetics:
1) Frying

baconfry1.jpg
As can be seen, there is a pleasant mottling on the bacon and the action of heating from below only saw the bacon rise and depress slightly unevenly - giving rise to more, and less-well-done areas. There is also slight pickup of blackened fat from the frying pan in some areas. This has a bitter taste.

2) Baking
baconbaked1.jpg
As can be seen, the application of heat from all angles has given a more uniform appearance to the bacon - both in how well done it is and it's uniformity of flatness, as it did not curl away from the heat. There is no pickup from the tin-foil.

My genetically superior ocular equipment and artistic reasoning leads me to the opinion that the fried bacon, whilst of haphazard appearance and dubious cleanliness, has a certain bohemian joie de vivre and if variety is indeed the spice of life, it is also the essential ingredient of visually pleasing bacon, indeed it is the quintessential essence of bacon porn.

The baked bacon on the other hand gives off an air of canteen cleanliness and uniformity associated with a soulless corporate canteen.

Baking has also given rise to some shrinkage, which gives the bacon a less manly appearance. Like it was cooked by a depressed dinner lady, rather than the jolly resident of a greasy spoon. This can be seen best in a side-by-side comparison:
baconcombo.jpg

Taste, Texture, Aroma and overall cooking experience:
1) Baking

The bacon cooked using the baking method was pleasant to the pallete. Upon removing from the tin foil you could see it had been broiling in it's own juices and was indeed suculent. The fat around the edges was uniformly crispy and pleasingly crunchy. However, in general it was uniform in texture and slightly greasy. There was subtle oven-based bacon aroma during cooking but some boredom whilst waiting for it to be done.

The accompanying drink of champions had gone slightly cold by the time this bacon was placed on the testing apparatus, which somewhat spoiled the effect.
Clipper Organic. When you absolutely, positively have to have a fucking good cup of tea, accept no subsitutes. (Although Yorkshire Tea can be used in a pinch - the "emergency tea" of choice. Of course, it should be served in a large Cornishware mug. Preferably one that hasn't been washed in a couple of days to allow residual tannin to build up.bacontea.JPG
Lastly the environmental waste of throwing away mined aluminium metal was disheartening.

2) Frying
The fried bacon was extremely pleasant on the pallette. Moist and dry areas combined wonderfully and although not all of the fat was crispy the combination of under and over-crisped, slightly burned and mildly contaminated bitterness combined explosively in my genetically superior mouth. It's very imperfections were it's perfection.

The aromas and sounds of cooking were intoxicating and lead to pre-bacon salivation and a sense of anticipation and excitement. There was also fire. Admittedly from gas. But as all humans know - fire is good.

Creation of the accompanying drink of champions segued perfectly with the 300 second cooking time of the bacon (90 seconds to boil, 180 seconds steeping, quick addition of milk and disposal of tea bag) - meaning that it was piping hot and ready just before the bacon came out of the pan.

The one downside was that I had to wipe the frying pan after eating. But as I had all the time in the world whilst waiting for the oven to complete baking the other rashers I contemplated doing the rest of the washing up. But had a game of Rocket League instead.

Taste, texture, aroma and experience is clearly all in the favour of frying bacon, as you would if you were camping, with a real fire, like a don.


Additional computations
On the face of it frying is clearly the winner. But just to bolster the concerns of any naysayers I performed a large number of bacon hash calculations using this:
baconscience.jpg Toasty Bacon Science!

Conclusion:
Whilst baking bacon does indeed yield very pleasant results it is clearly inferior on any objective measure to frying. Taste, texture, aroma, experience, asthetic value and time to bacon is all enhanced using the tried and tested method of fire+pan+bacon.

Whilst this is not in any way meant to denigrate the baker's experiences or belittle their wonderful bacon-based romance, frying is intellectually, fiscally, environmentally, morally, and, most importantly, scientifically superior.

Frying WINS.



























*grillings for the gays and heart-patients
 

Attachments

  • upload_2017-10-16_23-29-29.png
    upload_2017-10-16_23-29-29.png
    7 MB · Views: 7

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,128
Although I do not agree with the result, maximum respect for the painstaking thorough scientific research.

:clap:

:)
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
What I'm most amazed about is that I've found something I agree with @Bodhi on!
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
Ewwww. The fat will run away!

That's just frying without the goodness! Or, erm, grilling!

Which science says is wrong. :eek:
 

DaGaffer

Down With That Sorta Thing
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
18,509
Never cooked bacon in the oven in my life (except wrapped around sausages at Christmas); I've always assumed bacon was like the ur-ingredient for a frying pan.
 

old.user4556

Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
16,163
The objective of this research was to definitively answer the contentious question of the optimal method of cooking bacon between the disputed techniques of baking and frying*. To settle, once and for all, upon the method of cooking that gives the best balance of most pleasing texture, scent, asthetic value and, most importantly, flavour.

The bacon used in this test was sourced from a small farm which sells its high-quality wares in the Eurospar, Dollgellau, North Wales.


Method 1: Frying

Place two rashers of bacon in a 30cm Le Creuset Toughened Non-Stick Deep Frying Pan
with no oil, that had been on a large gas hob on full with a 30 second pre-heat for 150 seconds per side, turning once.


Method 2: Baking

The average of four methods, supplied by @Calaen, @Lamp, @dysfunction and @Raven was taken and applied rigourously.

Place two rashers of bacon in an oven at 200 celcius, pre-heat of 2.5 minutes on a foil-covered baking tray (edges turned slightly up) for exactly 1200 seconds, checked and turned at 1050 seconds, in accordance with the average values submitted.

Results

TTB: Frying was clearly the winner in the TTB (time to bacon) stakes. Delicious pork preserve was on my genetically superior bacon-tasting equipment in just over 300 seconds whereas a full 400% increase in TTB was experienced with the baking method.

Asthetics:
1) Frying

As can be seen, there is a pleasant mottling on the bacon and the action of heating from below only saw the bacon rise and depress slightly unevenly - giving rise to more, and less-well-done areas. There is also slight pickup of blackened fat from the frying pan in some areas. This has a bitter taste.

2) Baking
As can be seen, the application of heat from all angles has given a more uniform appearance to the bacon - both in how well done it is and it's uniformity of flatness, as it did not curl away from the heat. There is no pickup from the tin-foil.

My genetically superior ocular equipment and artistic reasoning leads me to the opinion that the fried bacon, whilst of haphazard appearance and dubious cleanliness, has a certain bohemian joie de vivre and if variety is indeed the spice of life, it is also the essential ingredient of visually pleasing bacon, indeed it is the quintessential essence of bacon porn.

The baked bacon on the other hand gives off an air of canteen cleanliness and uniformity associated with a soulless corporate canteen.

Baking has also given rise to some shrinkage, which gives the bacon a less manly appearance. Like it was cooked by a depressed dinner lady, rather than the jolly resident of a greasy spoon. This can be seen best in a side-by-side comparison:

Taste, Texture, Aroma and overall cooking experience:
1) Baking

The bacon cooked using the baking method was pleasant to the pallete. Upon removing from the tin foil you could see it had been broiling in it's own juices and was indeed suculent. The fat around the edges was uniformly crispy and pleasingly crunchy. However, in general it was uniform in texture and slightly greasy. There was subtle oven-based bacon aroma during cooking but some boredom whilst waiting for it to be done.

The accompanying drink of champions had gone slightly cold by the time this bacon was placed on the testing apparatus, which somewhat spoiled the effect.
Clipper Organic. When you absolutely, positively have to have a fucking good cup of tea, accept no subsitutes. (Although Yorkshire Tea can be used in a pinch - the "emergency tea" of choice. Of course, it should be served in a large Cornishware mug. Preferably one that hasn't been washed in a couple of days to allow residual tannin to build up.View attachment 37747
Lastly the environmental waste of throwing away mined aluminium metal was disheartening.

2) Frying
The fried bacon was extremely pleasant on the pallette. Moist and dry areas combined wonderfully and although not all of the fat was crispy the combination of under and over-crisped, slightly burned and mildly contaminated bitterness combined explosively in my genetically superior mouth. It's very imperfections were it's perfection.

The aromas and sounds of cooking were intoxicating and lead to pre-bacon salivation and a sense of anticipation and excitement. There was also fire. Admittedly from gas. But as all humans know - fire is good.

Creation of the accompanying drink of champions segued perfectly with the 300 second cooking time of the bacon (90 seconds to boil, 180 seconds steeping, quick addition of milk and disposal of tea bag) - meaning that it was piping hot and ready just before the bacon came out of the pan.

The one downside was that I had to wipe the frying pan after eating. But as I had all the time in the world whilst waiting for the oven to complete baking the other rashers I contemplated doing the rest of the washing up. But had a game of Rocket League instead.

Taste, texture, aroma and experience is clearly all in the favour of frying bacon, as you would if you were camping, with a real fire, like a don.


Additional computations
On the face of it frying is clearly the winner. But just to bolster the concerns of any naysayers I performed a large number of bacon hash calculations using this:
View attachment 37748 Toasty Bacon Science!

Conclusion:
Whilst baking bacon does indeed yield very pleasant results it is clearly inferior on any objective measure to frying. Taste, texture, aroma, experience, asthetic value and time to bacon is all enhanced using the tried and tested method of fire+pan+bacon.

Whilst this is not in any way meant to denigrate the baker's experiences or belittle their wonderful bacon-based romance, frying is intellectually, fiscally, environmentally, morally, and, most importantly, scientifically superior.

Frying WINS.



























*grillings for the gays and heart-patients

Are you between contracts comrade? ;)
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
Clearly you have a frying bias
Not at all. The experiment came about out of interest in alternative, potentially superior, method - the visual evidence presented is particularly easy to follow and self-evidently clear.

Also, as this is science the results are repeatable. Please conduct your own experiment using identical methodology and provide your own evidence to further the cause of bacon science :)
 

Moriath

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
16,209
Not at all. The experiment came about out of interest in alternative, potentially superior, method - the visual evidence presented is particularly easy to follow and self-evidently clear.

Also, as this is science the results are repeatable. Please conduct your own experiment using identical methodology and provide your own evidence to further the cause of bacon science :)
Glad you used the vastly superior back bacon and not the inferior streaky.
 

dysfunction

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,709
Not at all. The experiment came about out of interest in alternative, potentially superior, method - the visual evidence presented is particularly easy to follow and self-evidently clear.

Also, as this is science the results are repeatable. Please conduct your own experiment using identical methodology and provide your own evidence to further the cause of bacon science :)

I should have put a ;) smiley afterwards.
 

Bodhi

Once agreed with Scouse and a LibDem at same time
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,346
I almost feel bad as the only reply I can come up with to your long and well researched post is:

"Well, duh" :)
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,538
HAHAH that's mint :) Even though I disagree with the result :p
 

Nate

FH is my second home
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
7,454
I am pleased to critique this research on such a major issue in todays society of bacon, however; I have concerns as to the funding behind this research and request a full disclosure from the editor. The article seems to lack a systematic approach in which all methods of baconing are included, for instance grilling, bbq'ing or the rare cultural delight of hole-in-the-grounding. There also seems to be no hint of a hypothesis.
 

old.user4556

Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
16,163
Maybe I should do a similar thread reviewing and comparing my tinder dates.
 

Bodhi

Once agreed with Scouse and a LibDem at same time
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,346
I am pleased to critique this research on such a major issue in todays society of bacon, however; I have concerns as to the funding behind this research and request a full disclosure from the editor. The article seems to lack a systematic approach in which all methods of baconing are included, for instance grilling, bbq'ing or the rare cultural delight of hole-in-the-grounding. There also seems to be no hint of a hypothesis.

Are you suggesting his research was paid for by Le Creuset to sell more pans?

OMG, teh Scouse is an Oven Denier!!!!"!"!"!"!"!
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
HAHAH that's mint :) Even though I disagree with the result :p
You should definitely avail yourself of a side-by-side test. I wouldn't have thought it would have made such a big difference - but the difference was huge for identical bacon from the same source.

Frying, definitely, for the win.
 

Shagrat

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
6,945
You see, this is what the internet is for, insightful research into the issues that matter.

hats off to you @Scouse
 

fettoken

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Jul 18, 2004
Messages
9,640
I do disagree with Scouse's contention that bacon in frying in pan is superior on these grounds:

1. Frying in a pan sends hot fucking resin flying everywhere unless you have a lid (which i don't)

2. Cleaning a frying pan sucks

3. Uneven results

4. Manual labour of flipping them and getting hot flying reson on yourself

(basically because I'm a lazy git and hate cleaning up oil)
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
I would counter, Fett:

1. Frying in a pan sends hot fucking resin flying everywhere unless you have a lid (which i don't)
No added oil. Bacon is it's own fat. Big frying pan, zero spitting over the edge issues.

2. Cleaning a frying pan sucks
Not the frying pan I used. I gave it a cursory wipe under the hot tap and it looked like I'd just bought it from the shop. I'm a total convert to expensive cookware for making your life easier.

3. Uneven results
That's part of the joy, not part of the downside. See pictoral evidence above. :)

4. Manual labour of flipping them and getting hot flying reson on yourself
Fork turn once, same oil issues as above. But yeah, if a single flip of the bacons is too much effort you've got me. - Wrapping foil and bending down to the oven is also a lot of effort too tho. ;)


In added info shocker - my O/H said that she knew this all along - but finds grilling a good middle ground in flavour and ease. I don't believe her though - cleaning a grill is a PITA. I told her to talk to the hand until she'd done the science that proves it...
 

Bodhi

Once agreed with Scouse and a LibDem at same time
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,346
In the name of Science I have also done my own experiment today - can the two bits of bread in a bacon sandwich really be replaced by two bits of chicken?

And it turns out yes, yes they can. For those who haven't seen this is actually a thing now, and you can buy it from KFC - the Double Down. Now I really can't stand KFC, and can barely stomach chicken, but Jesus Christ - that was utter utter filth.

Next hangover I know EXACTLY what I am having.
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,725
Regardless of the bacon+chicken is glorious non-shocker ('cause chicken without bacon (unless roasted) is shite):

two bits of bread in a bacon sandwich

Bread? That's dangerous that is. Terribly dangerous to eat raw toast.
 

DaGaffer

Down With That Sorta Thing
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
18,509
I would counter, Fett:


No added oil. Bacon is it's own fat. Big frying pan, zero spitting over the edge issues.


Not the frying pan I used. I gave it a cursory wipe under the hot tap and it looked like I'd just bought it from the shop. I'm a total convert to expensive cookware for making your life easier.


That's part of the joy, not part of the downside. See pictoral evidence above. :)


Fork turn once, same oil issues as above. But yeah, if a single flip of the bacons is too much effort you've got me. - Wrapping foil and bending down to the oven is also a lot of effort too tho. ;)


In added info shocker - my O/H said that she knew this all along - but finds grilling a good middle ground in flavour and ease. I don't believe her though - cleaning a grill is a PITA. I told her to talk to the hand until she'd done the science that proves it...

I actually agree with all four points of that, and the additional info...I fucking hate cleaning the grill. A frying pan is a doddle if you buy a good one.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom